Repeat With The Skinny Twink
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15 October 2012 | 9 Comments
Load 2012-50
So I’m pretty sure the guy who gave me gonorrhea was the little thin twink – the last guy I fucked before noticing discharge. The bottom I tag teamed and gave a load to just bfore that tested clean. Well, the little twink texted me looking for another load. I usually don’t like to fuck the same guy twice in a row, but honestly, despite the gonorrhea, he’s very much my type – it’s hard to say know when someone like him wants you to fuck him. Plus, he had gone out and gotten treated the day after I told him – a day before I got treated. I mean STDs happen, what’s important is to take them seriously which is what he had demonstrated – which is a very good quality in a fuck buddy.
He told me he had “party favs” so I figured he might be pretty loose and I figured I’d try the cock sheath on him. I’d only fucked with it once and wanted to give it another go. I actually was jacking my dick a bit before he got here and put it on along with my PA that has the big heavy ball on a curved barbell. As I got a bit soft it all drew up into the cock sheath with just the big ball hanging out a bit at the end. I threw a pair of boxers and jeans over it to answer the door when he arrived – and needless to say it created a pretty big bulge. But he didn’t notice the bulge.
We went up to the bedroom and he had to use the bathroom. I’m guessing he was in there to do a bump or something. While he was in there I put some lube into the cock sheath and jacked my dick, trying to get hard. It’s not the same sensation jacking when you can’t actually touch your dick. It took a little work, but I did manage to get a bit harder (though not fully hard). When he came out I was naked with the cock sheath on and he still didn’t notice the cock sheath. Mind you, it’s clear, the room was pretty dark, and I wasn’t really making a point of showing it to him, but still – he wasn’t being all that observant or attentive.
He bends over the bed for me to rim him but I could rim him better if he’s on all fours on the bed, so we reposition him. I start rimming him and then finger his hole to see how tight/loose he is and discover he’s tight as a vice grip. There was just no way the big PA or the cock sheath was going up that tight hole, so as I’m rimming him I start taking everything off my dick.
What stood out as I was rimming him was how bony his ass was. He really has like zero percent body fat and he’s got a tiny waist. It was sorta hot, though I think absolute perfection would have been just a little more “meat” down there – but still – I’m not complaining at all…
When I get fully hard, I stood up, put a little lube on his hole (there was still plenty on my dick), and I tried to push in. I say tried because he was so tight it was almost impossible to get in. I like it when a guy is able to tighten his hole once I’m in him, but it’s a little frustrating to try to get into a hole that’s clenched tight. Needless to say he had some pain and then he tried to pull off my dick. That’s never a good idea. I’ve fucked plenty of tight holes and know it’s not a good idea to go backwards – always go forward (after you stop and let the bottom adjust). So I grabbed his hips and wouldn’t let him pull off.
I’m not sure why but having problems getting into hole always makes me a little soft. That make it easier on one level – my dick isn’t as big – but it complicates things on another level since it’s hard to get a dick into a tight hole unless it’s rock hard. I grab the base of my dick to make the end hard and finally manage to get into him.
We fuck briefly with him on all fours but then I push him onto his belly. That almost always works, but for some reason it wasn’t working this time. My dick still hadn’t gotten completely hard and his hole wasn’t rubbing things the right way. Usually I hate it when a bottom puts a pillow under his hips, but that seemed to be what was needed so I shoved one under him and things got better.
Thing was, I just couldn’t get into my groove. Then I started overheating… So I stopped for a bit, went over and opened the windows a little to let in some cold air, and then went back to him and rimmed him. Since my dick had come out clean I knew he was clean enough for a more “enthusiastic” rimming. So I started sucking his hole, biting it a bit, etc. It was not a gentle rimming. Meanwhile I was jacking my cock and when I was fully hard we went back to fucking.
This time I was fully hard, and had the pillow under him, and just pounded him hard. I’m not sure how much he enjoyed it – it was sorta hard to tell and honestly I didn’t really care that much (provided he wasn’t having a miserable time). Last time he told me he likes verbal tops so I start getting into telling him he’s just a fuckhole to me – that getting fucked and taking loads is his purpose in life – what he’s good at. I asked him the most loads he’s taken in a night and he said 4. I told him he needs to work on upping that number substantially. Basically I was making it clear to him that I saw him just as a hole and that was his role in life as far as I was concerned. [At least while I was fucking him.]
Last time I fucked him I came after a few strokes. This time it seemed like it was taking forever for me to cum. I was fucking him pretty hard and it didn’t seem all that enjoyable for him. But he was putting up with it and I was getting close. Finally I dumped a load in his hole. Unfortunately it probably wasn’t the biggest load. While I was out of commission from the gonorrhea I had formed the bad habit of jacking off. I told myself my last jack off would be Monday so I’d have a 3 day load when I was ready to fuck on Thursday. But then I jacked off on Tuesday and Wednesday – so he only got a 1 day load. Oh well – at least he got the load.
We then laid there for a little while talking. He told me he’s gone back to supplementing his income with dealing meth, which concerned me a bit. He’s such a sweet kid and generally seems to have his act together. He says his best friend can’t really control his meth use, and even he’s had a bad time with it in the past. I mean meth kills… Couldn’t he pick another drug or something? And why is it that so many of the guys I fuck do meth? It’s sorta sad.
On the topic of meth, I really think you have to look at the connection between barebacking and substance abuse of all kinds. I think the dirty little secret of our little fetish community is that the connection between barebacking (especially in the context of sex outside of an intimate relationship) and being under the influence is pretty strong.
That’s not to say all barebackers are addicts or alcoholics, just that the inhibition-lowering effects of many recreational drugs often plays a key role in introducing guys to our fetish.
Another avenue I’d suggest is that the same root cause of low self-esteem (due to internalized homophobia, poor family background, or whatever) might contribute to both barebacking (especially allowing a guy who shows interest in you to top you raw) and drug or alcohol abuse.
Now I’m quite well aware that lots of barebackers won’t fall into those categories. Some guys, for instance, might have first had sex while they were young and didn’t know any better and/our just never gotten the safe sex message (I’m finding a lot of bisexual truckers, especially those from rural or small town backgrounds, are like this, which is causing me to adjust my ethical model beyond simple disclosure to more active education). But my own experience suggests that there’s a pretty good link between the drug and alcohol influence and barebacking (along with a lot of other more extreme sexual acts that also go hand-in-hand, like promiscuity and anonymous sex) among a large subgroup of habitual barebackers.
There’s probably a psych PhD dissertation in there somewhere.
I’ll also point out that the connection between meth in particular and barebacking is particularly strong because of (1) how strongly meth can ramp up your libido, (2) how meth doesn’t so much reduce inhibitions as completely destroy them, (3) how its hardon-killing side effects can now be overcome with erectile dysfunction drugs, meaning that barebacking among meth users, many of whom are HIV+, is more common than it was ten years ago, and (4) its highly addictive nature means that highly risky sex isn’t just a one time thing but rapidly becomes as much of a habit as the drug itself.
On the question of inhibitions, it’s hard to overstate the effects of meth. Not only does meth remove your inhibitions, it actually goes beyond that, making their transgression seem very, very desirable. Hence the guys you’ve noted who seem turned on by the idea of getting and passing on STDs. There are lots of considerations that usually steer people towards avoiding STDs at all costs: health concerns, social stigma, etc. But it seems that the stronger the stigma against a particular sexual behavior, the more meth makes its transgression seem “hot”. This is probably a big part of the reason just about every meth user I’ve met barebacked. Bareback sex transgresses another huge social taboo.
@ mascmountainman
Another avenue Iād suggest is that the same root cause of low self-esteem (due to internalized homophobia, poor family background, or whatever) might contribute to both barebacking (especially allowing a guy who shows interest in you to top you raw) and drug or alcohol abuse.
I just have to point something out here, about the implicit assumptions being made in this kind of statement. (I’m not picking on mascmountainman; I see this all the time, and this is just a great example.) Barebacking is not always maladaptive behavior, or a problem that needs to be diagnosed, or a sign that Something Went Horribly Wrong. Sure, quite often when it’s done in the context of abusing drugs, particularly tina, it looks that way, but the mere fact that someone barebacks, even with strangers, is not in and of itself automatically unhealthy (in the psychological sense). Just like we shouldn’t assume that everyone’s end goal is always to get married, or the job that pays more is obviously the right/better job to take in all circumstances, we should not assume that all well adjusted and “good” people always use condoms when they have sex. Context matters.
I am concerned about the impact of meth on our community, particularly how sneaky and seductive it is compared to other drugs and how people generally tend to change once they are introduced to it. And sure, barebacking has become a lot more popular since gay men started PnPing. But not all barebackers use tina, and not all tweakers bareback. (In the second case, there are quite a few tweakers who just suck cock, talk dirty, and hunt for guys online, rather than actually do all the depraved things they want to do; tweaker sex can actually seem kinda boring from the outside in real life.) Yeah, there’s a lot of overlap between the two groups, but don’t conflate the two. I was barebacking long before I’d heard of tina, much less met anyone who had even tried it, and drugs had no influence on my preference there. And I’m the most well-adjusted person I know. š
I don’t follow your blog religiously but read them once in while and sadly today, I lost all respect I had for you after reading this one. I can understand contracting an STD but I am just shocked that you would go ahead and hook up with someone again once you got a good suspicion that this was the person who gave you gono. I mean really? Really? Guy gives you gono and yet you go back to fuck him again? Even sadder is that you do not even care that he is a drugged up addict.
I honestly feel horribly for the bottom kid as reading between the line shows he is pretty miserable person and fighting a lot of demons. I recognize he is a nobody to you other than a piece of ass but all around it is just sad.
@Loadswapper – Yes, exactly. Just like cigarettes, alcohol, and gambling – some people are more susceptible to having (or being addicted to) risky sex. It seems to be a dopamine / reward center thing in the brain which has no bearing on the person’s background or whether they PnP.
Guys that get off on public sex (protected or bare) probably fit this category as well. Larry Craig and George Michael could easily pay for sex if they wanted to.
You said earlier you’ve got infected with gonorrhea, rimming a person with diplococci infection may transmit to you orally which we called gonorrhea of the throat, aside from that doing sex without condom is a high risk potential of having STI including HIV\ AIDS. Metamphetamine may later cause pyschological effect to a user like paranoid that lead to schezophrenia etc. Barebacking is a hot fetish but it takes great responsibility to stay negative and caution.
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