19 November 2013 | 8 Comments
Just found an “open letter to Sean Cody” over at Queerty. The guy is bitching at Sean Cody for going bareback – he’s literally “distraught” about it. But look at what he says and you can see he knows bareback is better. Here are some quotes from his letter (emphasis and [commentary] are by me)…
I know that for years the straight adult film business has gone condom-less. Condom-less porn is hot. There is no denying it. In my own life, I always use condoms until I know someone for a very long time and even then you wonder, right? But guys, seriously, I am worried about your site. I am in my 30s and I have literally heard 18-year-olds say the following: “If I get something, it doesn’t matter. I go get on pills and I’m fine.” I actually moved over and got in the middle of this conversation at a bar. My buddies thought I was an idiot, but I wanted to understand.
So I asked them, “Why do you think not using a condom is okay?” The answer came, “Dude, no one wears condoms anymore that was like 10 years ago when you had to.” I said what the heck. Another guy, who looked to be about 20, jumped in to add, “Well, the porn companies stopped using them.”
Wow. So you see that at least in some cases these “kids” are watching porn and then thinking it’s okay. No one looks at the brief warnings you put at the beginning of the videos when you are horny, guys. I mean, look, it is hotter. …
Get with the facts. As a bottom, you can’t tell if a guy is wearing a condom or not. [That’s useful info!] I will admit as a top I don’t love wearing a condom, but I do it anyway because it is the right thing to do for me and my partners.
… I am sure I am going to receive a form letter from you that says something like “every performer is tested before the shoot and then retested” or some crap like that. But most guys who has seen one of your movies does not have the foggiest notion about all that. And even if he does, what are the chances that it will be on the top of his mind when he meets a guy while out drinking at a bar? Instead, it’s the image of the allure of raw sex that will be emblazoned in his mind. And this means me, too: I’ve fantasized about some of your guys at the very moment of decision when I’m with a guy. Even for me, it’s getting harder and harder (pardon the pun) to put aside the image. I’ve stopped watching a lot of your raw videos for that very reason: to avoid the temptation in my own sex life. By watching hot, healthy-looking guys going at it in porn I risk desensitizing myself to the dangers, especially since nowadays, the dangers can seem far in the future.
A lot of men of all ages no longer understand how dangerous HIV remains, but particularly young men who have not seen AIDS kill. They see HIV-positive friends (and even some porn models) thriving with treatment. And that’s good. But HIV still damages your body, and the treatment can be toxic over the long term.
So bottom line – young guys see the reality of HIV today – that it’s a pretty manageable disease and because they don’t fear HIV, they bareback – because it’s hotter than having sex with a condom.
If you were a marketer trying to sell people on the idea of safe sex that letter’s gotta be pretty discouraging though. Even the guys who are anti-bareback keep complimenting it saying how hot it is. The guy who wrote the letter is even going as far as not watching bareback porn ’cause he thinks it’ll make him want to bareback.
So to the guy who wrote the letter – Dude – you already want to bareback. You’re craving it. Just relax and enjoy your life. You only go around once. In 10 years when you’re in your 40s you’ll regret that you didn’t bareback more when you were younger. The guys who become poz today will have a very different experience than the guys who became poz years ago (provided they get tested regularly and find out quickly). And if you’re still worried – go on PrEP…
How long do you guys think it’ll be before the guy starts barebacking on a regular basis? I give him a year – two at the most.