Load 2021-3

Well, since I did my last blog post I fucked three guys (all Latino), but only came with one of them.

First guy turned out to be super close to me. Small, skinny guy (my type). Had a super clean hole I spent a lot of time rimming, and for a while I gave him a decent fuck. But the chemistry and positions were off. When I first arrived he seemed more into jacking his dick than getting fucked. He just seemed hesitant. I’d try to push him this way or that way to get into a better position with him, but he’d resist. At one point he mentioned that some positions were difficult due to a previous injury. He so close and so much my type he’s worth a second try one of these days. Maybe at my place instead of his. And the interpersonal chemistry thing improved vastly as we talked while I was getting my clothes on. Some of my first impressions were off with him.

Second guy was a 20-something cumdump who was taking loads in a tiny little hotel room in midtown. His status on his profile just said “negative”, so not sure if he was on PrEP or bug chasing. I gave him his “10th or 12th” load (he had lost track). He was a lot heavier than I usually like, but his hole felt great and he followed directions (so no problems with position).

The third guy had a profile name that suggested he was pretty experienced, but in person that didn’t carry through to action. He was also significantly heavier than some of his pics, though in his profile he did call himself a chub. He wanted to have sex in his living room – on the coffee table with the blinds open (his neighbors, not mine, so no problem there). There was no bed and the couch wasn’t big enough to be useful. He was very oral. He expected his blowjob (with teeth!) to get me fully hard. It got me about 80% of the way there. I was hard enough to fuck, but he was really tight. When I finally did rim him I did taste some cum – he said he’d taken a load before I got there. Finally I tried to put him on his belly on a pillow on the floor, but that just didn’t work, so I gave up and went home.

No not the greatest experiences, but not horrible either.

Load 2021-2

Yesterday I needed to go to the Upper West Side for a COVID test, so I posted on BBRT looking for a bottom in the area. A daddy hit me up and was in a good location for me, so we made plans. His profile pics were pretty hot – a solid, masculine DILF. His profile just said “positive”, not “undetectable”. Usually that’s code for “I’m not on meds”, but not always. He had hit me up before a few days earlier in the middle of the night when I had woken up and couldn’t sleep and had gotten onto BBRT to respond to some emails. I think it was like 4 in the morning and he hit me up wanting me to come over right then. In my experience the only people who are up at 3 or 4 in the morning are drug addicts who are “parTying” and I really hate fucking guys who are high. So I wondered about him…

I rode my bike down and his place was right on one of the decent routes back, so if you looked at my route you’d never know I stopped for a pump-n-dump since there were no tell-tale detours. He had told me the door would be ajar – it wasn’t, but it was unlocked. So I went in. His bedroom door was barely ajar and he was inside, on the bed in just jeans with porn playing on the TV. If I had to guess I’d say he’s probably gotten into drugs – he lacked the “robustness” that was in his pics. It’s always sad to see meth make hollow shells out of people. Or maybe it was just bad lighting and circumstance (the room was pretty dark). Either way, he was fuckable and didn’t seem high and it had been 8 days since I’d blown my load in the other guy, so it wasn’t like I was going to leave.

He crawled down the bed and started sucking my dick. I got hard pretty quickly and started pushing down his pants to feel his hole. He got the hint and turned around and took them off and got on all fours, head down. Normally I’d rim before fucking, but something about the situation I wasn’t really wanting that in the moment, so I just put some spit on my dick and pushed in his ass. My first thought was that I needed more lube, but pretty quickly it was “good enough”. I was thinking I should take a pic, but didn’t (oh well).

I fucked him on all fours for a little while (not terribly long). It felt good and I wondered if I could cum that way. Probably could have if I kept at it but I had him get on his belly (my standard way to cum pretty quickly). At that point I got in deeper and all of a sudden his ass got really wet. He clearly had some loads in him and it felt really great. The additional sensation put me over the edge and I blew my 8 day load up his ass and then continued to slowly pump his ass for a bit.

When I pulled out my cock was completely drenched in cum. I hadn’t taken off my clothes. If I’d zipped up my jeans at that point I’d have gotten the inside of my jeans all wet with cum and ass juices. Fortunately he came to the rescue and sucked me clean.

I then zipped up and left before he could really suggest me staying. The entire encounter was 14 minutes – and that included me locking up my bike, going up to his place, fucking him, and coming back down and unlocking my bike.

He’s pretty close to me, so I’m sure I’ll fuck him again. A decent, convenient cumdump is a good thing to have around. And I should ask him about his viral load. It’d be hot if he’s toxic. 😈☣️

Load 2021-1

It’s almost embarrassing how long it’s been since I’ve had sex. Last time I updated the blog was November 2018. I’ve literally only had sex on 5 different days since then – a few days after that post, then twice about a year later (October/November 2019), then on vacation in February of last year. Then just as I was feeling like getting back in the game, the pandemic hit and I only hooked up once during the pandemic (with a buddy who I knew for certain was playing safe and keeping risk really low – and we hooked up outdoors, at the beach to minimize risk).

As the pandemic hit and then continued I just hunkered down. Vaccines were eventually on the horizon and I didn’t want to be the person who died a week before they could have gotten the vaccine. I had a lover who died of AIDS in 1995 – a year before ARVs came out. I’d learned my lesson my lesson from that. And my caution was warranted – the roommate of a friend got hospitalized and put in the ICU and after a few weeks he died. Tragically, he died four days after he qualified for a vaccine. He was a cute little cub in his mid-30s. It can happen to anyone.

The pandemic explains why I didn’t hookup for the past year. But it doesn’t explain 2018 and 2019. There were a number of factors, but the cumulative effect is that I kinda lost the mojo to be a good top. You need a certain confidence to be a good top (or even a good bottom), and a number of things in my life were interfering with that. Among other things, there were problems with my immediate neighborhood (which at one point escalated to me being assaulted), finding success in work was difficult, and so on… Even Trump’s presidency felt like a downer. Things finally started to change late last year – Trump lost, and the people who were causing problems in the neighborhood were arrested and are now facing 20 to life for drug trafficking. There are still remaining issues in my life, but they’re manageable.

Needless to say I wanted (needed?) life to get back to normal so I was pretty assertive about getting a vaccine. I got my first shot 2 days after I qualified. But I still played it safe, so didn’t really start thinking of hooking up until I was fully vaccinated (2 weeks after my 2nd shot).

I FINALLY had my first hookup yesterday (5 days after being fully vaccinated). I’m so ready to get back into the swing of things that I’ve set a goal to only cum when I fuck, which means ideally I’d hookup every 3-5 days. But the guy yesterday got a 10 day load since I stopped jacking off a few days before I was fully vaccinated and then I’d been busy with other stuff and didn’t manage to hookup the first few days.

Anyway – the hookup… I started looking in the morning but made the mistake of being too picky about distance. I wanted a bottom who’d host, who I could walk to. There were a few guys taking loads but they were all further away. As it got to be mid-afternoon I realized I had spent far too much of the day looking for an ideal hookup and realized I just needed to breed an ass (perfection is the enemy of good). A guy hit me up and said he’d pay for an Uber if I’d come breed him. He had hit me up back in 2017 and 2018 telling me that he wasn’t taking his PrEP consistently and was thinking of converting. But that was 3 and a half years ago and his profile still said “negative, on PreP”. So I knew he had bug chasing tendencies but didn’t know what was real and what was fantasy with him. He wasn’t my “ideal type” but it’s always fun to fuck a bug chaser, and he was just visiting the City so it was now or who knows when – so I said yes. I declined the Uber and rode my bike down to his hotel.

As I walked into the hotel I panicked a little. I wasn’t sure where the elevators were, but finally I spotted them so I got spared the embarrassment of explaining to the staff that I was there for a pump-and-dump with a guy and didn’t know his name. When I got up to his room the door was ajar. I went in, it was actually a small suite. I set down some of my stuff, went to the bathroom to take a piss, and then went into the bedroom where he was on the bed ass up.

I had him get on all fours so I could rim him. His ass was REALLY hairy (he was sorta hairy all over). He had mentioned before I came that his as was cummy, but I couldn’t taste any loads. It would’ve been cool to felch some cum from his ass, but at least his ass was perfectly clean. Woulda been a bummer if I’d gotten a bottom with a dirty hole the first time out after so long.

I fucked him on all fours just briefly and then had him get on his belly. We hadn’t really said anything to each other, but at that point he got really verbal and was literally begging me to give him a toxic load and poz him. He said he wanted me to be the one to make him poz. I honestly believed that’s what he wanted, but who knows what the reality was. Was he neg and on PrEP? Has he been taking his PrEP consistently, or did he go off before traveling to NYC? Or is he poz and just wants to recreate a fantasy pozzing? Or maybe he has no clue what his status is… Still, it’s hot to hear a bottom beg me to knock him up. He’d been talking about it for enough years I knew he really wanted it – even if his PrEP usage wouldn’t let it happen, or it had happened a while ago.

I’m never one for long fucks. I learned a while ago that when I feel ready to cum, I should just do it – because if I wait I may not be able to cum later. And true to form, I didn’t last long – especially with him begging me to poz him. I felt a spurt of cum, then a few seconds later I felt a much bigger spurt. I mean it had been 10 days since I’d cum. It felt like a pretty big load – but not seeing the load, who knows?

I’d been almost completely silent the entire time. It wasn’t really “connected” sex. I needed a hole and he had one to fuck. But I think he really was hoping I’d just pozzed him and he was going to have this wonderful connected moment with his poz daddy. I hadn’t taken off my clothes (other than my jacket), so as I was zipping up he indicated he wanted me to stick around for a moment. I thought he said he wanted to “clean me up”, but then I realized he wanted to jack off with me. I played with his nipples, but they didn’t seem wired to his dick. He wanted to kiss, but between the anonymous nature of it and, ummm…, the pandemic, I dodged that one. I know he wanted more, but I wasn’t really in the headspace for the level of connection he wanted. I could have sucked his dick, but that wasn’t what I was there for, and would have changed the power dynamics between us. I felt a little bad for him in the moment. I was in disconnected mode, and he wanted connected. But it was what it was. Soon enough he came, then I zipped up, went for another piss and left.

One thing that’s a little amusing to me about this hookup, actually happens a lot when guys hit me up… I haven’t discussed my HIV status in years. I’m completely opaque about it. I like the fact that guys have no fucking clue. But they all seem to just assume that I’m poz and I’ve been toxic for years now. I don’t mind them assuming that, but I they’re making a lot of assumptions to come to that conclusion. But I actually sorta like that. Back in the day before PrEP neg bottoms had no real way to protect themselves. They were totally dependent on the top knowing his status and telling the truth. (This is before people realized undetectable = untransmittable). There was something really special about bottoms whose hunger for loads was greater than their sense of self-preservation. And even when I fucked a poz bottom back then I realized there was a point in their life when they chose to risk their health to get loads in their ass. That risk made barebacking really edgy back then. I miss the atmosphere of risk – it was hot. Those guys were true pigs, and piggy sex is just hotter. PrEP takes away that risk the way condoms took it away in the past. Now when I see a bottom is on PrEP it’s kind of a turn off. I’ll fuck them, but I just wish they’d simply put their status as “negative” and let me wonder.

So I have no clue whether the bottom was taking an actual risk or not yesterday, but I really liked that he at least made it seem in the moment like there was risk.

Loads 2018-4 & 2018-5

A few years ago now I started a development project. I never expected for it to take this long, but it’s finally getting off the ground. Little stuff got done along the way (like how banner ads were served – including on here and on Breeding Zone), and then I wrote a new chat feature for Breeding Zone that was all new code. But it’s only this month that I’m finally getting content moved and the new sites are starting to really do their thing.

So that said, check out BBBH.com (the name comes from #BBBH which is the hashtag used on Twitter for bareback sex). I’ve moved the porn blog that used to be on this site to BBBH.com as well as all the commercial videos that were on Raunchy Fuckers. My sex blog is still here (obviously), and the amateur videos are still on Raunchy Fuckers (for now). And there’s a lot more work to be done on the new sites (e.g. I need to pull in new content), but they’re finally decent and relatively complete, which feels good.

I say all of that to explain (in part) why I haven’t been having much sex. There are multiple reasons for me checking out when it came to sex, but getting absorbed in work is one of them. But honestly it’s more complicated than that. There are a number of things I’ve found emotionally draining… Development taking forever was one, politics was another, and then there were a couple of significant issues in my living environment (to be accurate, but obscure) that weighed on me. Anyway, sum total is that I like to approach sex from a position of power and I wasn’t feeling powerful, so I wasn’t having sex.

Not everything is resolved, but enough things are resolved and I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on the others, so I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things. A couple of weeks ago I went to a sex party and fucked a bunch of guys, but my dick gave out before I came, so I didn’t give any loads. And then this week I’ve bred two guys…

First guy was a couple of days ago. I was looking for a guy who’d come over and take a load. A bunch of guys were generally interested but finally one said he’d actually come over. It was a decent hookup, but I’d say the “connection” was missing for some reason. I’m guessing he wanted to get fucked for a longer period of time. But not every hookup has to be one for the record books. He did say “Well, that was fun” after I was done, which seemed a little funny in the moment. One thing about him that I noticed after blowing my load and I was laying next to him was that he had a really beautiful face. Not that he had a bad body (his body was fine), but if he put more effort into his body his overall “package” would be rather stunning – not everyone has such a great face.

Second guy was this morning. He was the hot bug chaser I fucked at the beginning of the year. It was a rather weird, but hot anonymous scene where I had to tell the doorman I was the dog walker to get into the building. The weird part was that the doorman mentioned the part about the door to the apartment being open. Made me wonder if the doorman fucks the guy as well. (Which would actually be pretty hot). Long story short, I rimmed him for ages while I tried to get my dick to cooperate, and finally I just thought “fuck it, I’ll go with it as it is” and started fucking him before I was fully hard. Good news was that fucking him got me fully hard. Usually I get a bottom on his stomach to fuck, but I could feel my load building with him on all fours. BUT then I could smell that he wasn’t clean. I usually hate that and stop immediately BUT I smelled that after I could feel my load coming, and I was determined to give him my load, so I pushed him onto his belly in an attempt to keep my clothes clean (I hadn’t undressed – just unzipped). I did manage to give him my load and then it took forever to clean up the mess in the bathroom. As I was leaving I was just hoping it was his apartment. I worried he might actually be the dog walker and it was a client’s apartment. If that was the case it would have been a huge disaster.

So hopefully there will be more to report in the near future…

Load 2018-1

I know I’ve been really really horrible about maintaining this blog. My New Years Resolution is to breed more asses and when I’m breeding regularly it’s fun to talk about it. So you should see more blog posts…

Last year I did a bunch of sex parties, but rarely cum when I’m standing up with the bottom bent over, so I did fuck 95 holes last year, but only managed to cum 18 of those times. If I put my mind to it I should be able to double that number this year pretty easily (hopefully get closer to tripling the number).

The first hole of the year was this hot, 30ish guy. I’ve always heard guys look best they ever look around the age of 30, so it’s a fun age to fuck. He first hit me up in July saying he’d gone off PrEP and wanted me to fuck him with my PA. There are a lot of guys who fantasize about being bugchasers – they’ll talk the talk, but then get cold feet. Off PrEP and wanting a rough fuck sure sounded like he was in bug chaser mode to me. And on top of everything else he said he had a boyfriend who didn’t know he was getting fucked and could only host during the day. Things didn’t work out in the summer, but then I heard from him again in November, and then yesterday he gives me the room number at a hotel near where he said he lived.

I’ve started cycling a lot, which means I’m FINALLY losing weight. [More on that in another blog post, maybe. Bottom line I’m not the bear I used to be.] Anyway, my plan that evening was to cycle to my gym in Midtown, then go to a meeting nearby, and the guy’s hotel was right on the way. So I left 20 minutes early to give me enough time to fuck him. I hadn’t actually got a response from him saying the time was good when I left, but by the time I got to midtown and checked he’d said the timing was perfect.

And I hadn’t really taken the time to study his profile and my notes on him before I left. All I knew was he seemed like he’d be a good fuck. I get to the (rather nice) hotel, go upstairs, and found his door ajar (as I’d suggested he do). I pushed the door open and there he was naked on the bed. He was actually much hotter than I was expecting. Quite smooth, lightly muscled, and very fit.

He flipped over and got on all fours as soon as I opened the door. At the time I didn’t know what to think of the look on his face. He didn’t really smile, so I was thinking maybe he wasn’t into me. I wondered if he was expecting me to be hotter or something.  His smooth perky ass looked absolutely perfect, and he presenting it for me to fuck, so I really didn’t care if he was into me or not. I just wanted to give him my load.

I unbuckled my belt, and unzipped my pants and then fumbled around in my bag to find my cockring. Then I started rimming him. His ass was perfectly smooth and muscled enough to make it perky. And best yet, not a hint of mustiness. I wondered if there were other loads in there, but couldn’t taste any.

Then when I was hard enough to fuck I stood up and pushed my dick in (still fully clothed). His hole felt really great. I almost thought I might be able to cum in that position (doggy), but didn’t want to take any chances so after a bit I had him get on his belly. It actually didn’t feel quite as good as it did with him on all fours, but I just stuck with it and it wasn’t long before I gave him a nice big load.

My dick seemed clean, but just in case I wiped it off with his sheets 😉 He flipped over and again I couldn’t tell what he thought of the fuck. He seemed a bit indifferent.

Then I gathered up my stuff and left. The total encounter was maybe 5 minutes. Definitely less than 10 minutes. I then stopped at a table in the hallway to put my coat on and get ready to do the next leg of the bike ride to the gym.

When I got home there was a message from him saying it was hot and the first time he’d knowingly taken a poz load. It was at that point when I understood his indifference. It wasn’t indifference – it was ambivalence. He was probably numb from the idea that with that fuck he was committing himself to possibly getting pozzed. It’s a big step and I can totally see a bottom seeming ambivalent the first time they actually go through with it.

I just hope the desire for poz toxic cum grows in him and he keeps seeking it out. And if he wasn’t actually off PrEP I hope he takes that step too. Clearly at least part of him wants to be poz, otherwise he wouldn’t have hit me up and said the things he did. And he wouldn’t have knowingly sought out his first poz load. (My dick is hard thinking about him getting pozzed 😈 ).

[And for the record, IMHO, some – probably most – people should stay neg and with PrEP they can. But when poz becomes your fetish – the thing you think about when you’re jacking off – then, for those people, yeah, I totally think they should get off PrEP and get their asses pozzed. It suits them.]

Load 2017-2

So middle of December I changed gyms from the rather boring (and sometimes hostile) YMCA in Harlem to a much friendlier chain of gyms. I wasn’t really thinking about sex at the time I made the change, but damn it became clear to me what I’d been missing the first time I worked out at the new gym.

At the Y about the most that ever went on was there was this skinny black twink who liked to lay ass up in the steam room. But that literally was about as erotic as it ever got. I can’t even remember seeing a hardon there. I did see some hardons at the 14th Street location. And occasionally there would be stuff to see at the UWS location, but that location was also pretty hostile. You’d get yelled at if you didn’t sit on a towel, etc.

So the first time I went to the new gym there was this horny black “kid” (18+) with a hardon under a wet towel that came into the sauna. As other guys cleared out it was me, the kid and this (white) poz daddy. The poz daddy started feeling the kid’s ass and then sorta forced the kid onto his dick and he wound up giving the kids a small cum facial. It was sorta weird because the kid was clearly horny, but also sorta reluctant. On the one hand it looked like the poz daddy was raping him. On the other hand all the kid had to do was get up and walk out of the sauna. Anyway, a very hot first day at the new gym.

Anyway, in the past nearly two months now I’ve been to a bunch of the locations of the new gym. Some have been boring, but others are quite active. Usually it’s just guys jacking, occasionally there’s some quick oral action. But a week ago I was at one of the locations where there always seems to be at least a little bit going on and the crowd thinned out in the steam room so it was just me, this rather sexually aggressive guy I first pegged as a bottom, and this poz daddy with a big unkept beard. First the bottom guy started sucking my dick, then he had the poz daddy suck my dick and he got behind the poz daddy and started fucking him. (Guess he wasn’t just a bottom after all).

My dick was rock hard ’cause I’d taken a Levitra recently and I hadn’t cum in a while, so I wanted to fuck… So I freed my dick of the poz daddy’s mouth and got up. I’m not sure they got my intention, but “the bottom” stopped fucked the poz daddy and I slid my dick in. I was really nervous about someone walking in, so I kept my towel around my waist and kept looking at the door for shadows of people who might be coming in.

I tend to cum pretty quickly which was a good thing in a situation like a public steam room, and it wasn’t long before I dumped a load in his ass. I did it pretty quietly, so the poz daddy didn’t really know I’d cum. He sat down and started sucking my dick, probably hoping for an oral load. Then he looked up and smiled. I’m guessing he tasted the cum and figured out I’d already given him a load in his ass.

I wrapped my towel around my waist and went and took a shower. Thanks to the Levitra my boner just wouldn’t go down. Finally I just wrapped things up and walked out into the locker room. By the time I’d gotten to my locker it was still pretty big, but not a full hardon. It as at that point that I saw a brown spot on my towel. The poz daddy apparently hadn’t been completely clean. But his smile afterwards meant he must have been mostly clean. It was a bit confusing, but whatever.

I threw the dirty towel in the bin and went and did my workout and then hit the steam room again afterwards, but that time around there was only just a few hardons.

One thing I have learned is that I get better hardons before I workout. I work out hard enough that afterwards I’m sorta drained. So when I’m going to a “good location” I make sure to hit the steam room before I workout (and again after).

Actually, I may be over-training. My shoulder has started giving me problems and so I’ve gone to see a doctor and now a physical therapist. The PT wants me to keep going to the gym – just make some modifications to what I do. Which is good because I was really making progress – losing fat and gaining muscle. I mean I could do a month or two of just cardio, legs and abs if I had to, but I’d rather not lose my momentum.

But even if I could only do cardio, I think the sauna and steam rooms would keep me going 😉

[And no, I won’t publicly say which gym I’m going to now. Let’s just say the police arrested 3 guys for doing stuff in the steam room at one of the locations last month, so there needs to be a certain amount of discretion about where stuff is going on. I wish we lived in a world where fucking in a steam room was no big deal, but we don’t. Even progressives can be Nazis in the name of things like “public health”. It’s why I just identify as left-of-center / liberal, and not a progressive.]