Load 2022-3

I really need to up the number of loads I’m giving. Three in a month isn’t great at all… But part of it is my dick being unpredictable for some reason.

A couple of weeks ago I hooked up with this clean-cut muscled jock guy who I fucked last year. Back then he was a bug chaser, now his BBRT profile list him as “positive”, so his efforts were successful 😉. I got hard enough to fuck him and he was loose enough I could fuck him with my PA in, but I pretty quickly I could tell I wasn’t going to be able to maintain it and definitely wouldn’t be able to cum – so I gave up. Meanwhile he had been rock hard the entire time, so I asked if he wanted to jack off and put just the head of his dick in my hole as he came. He quickly said yes, and like 15-20 seconds later he was blowing his load in my ass. Even just taking the head was painful (he’s got a pretty big dick for a bottom), but it was hot. I was then rock hard and wanted to go back to fucking him, but he said he can’t get fucked after cumming 🙁. I need to do another session with him. He’s a great piggy fuck. I’ve since learned he gets into fisting – so that could be fun. I feel like I need to get back into the other forms of raunchy sex – BDSM, fisting, piss…

Then a week ago I went over to fuck this black guy who’s a few blocks from me. We hadn’t really talked about how it would go… I knocked on his door and then I think I heard him say “come in”, so I tried and the door was open. I go in and there’s this gorgeous black muscle guy, blindfolded, ass up, face down on the bed. Long story short I rimmed him for a LONG time, then fucked him for a LONG time (like 20-30 minutes) – occasionally pulling out to rim him some more. BUT I was never quite as hard as I wanted to be and I couldn’t cum. He was really into my PA. For part of the fuck I did keep my PA in, but then took it out. When it was all over I apologized for it not being my best fuck and not cumming, and that didn’t seem to bother him at all. He wants hookup again (hit me up yesterday saying he was available on Saturday – but I’m not available then unfortunately). Anyway – he’s another one I need to hookup with again…

Then a day or two after that fuck I came across a guy on Sniffies who was really close to me. I couldn’t tell much from his pic, but figured he was so close it was worth a shot. He turned out to be this cool, young, mixed-race, scruffy guy. But there wasn’t really a good place to fuck at his apartment and he was really oral and didn’t like being rimmed. Oral does nothing for me and my dick chose that moment to go to sleep so I couldn’t get hard enough to fuck him. And I would have had to be hard as a rock to get in his ass – he was super tight. So we gave up and chatted a bit instead…

After fucking the first guy I had jacked off the next morning, but then told myself I was going to try (once again) to not jack off and only cum when I was fucking some bottom. But after repeated failed attempts I gave up and jacked off the morning after hooking up with the oral guy.

Yesterday I FINALLY managed to breed someone. A couple of options didn’t work out, but there was a guy who was in the general neighborhood who said he was free and could come over. He used to be one of my regulars. I first fucked him 10 years ago, but haven’t fucked him in 6 years. In the past he was one of the guys who’d gotten into “race play” with me, but we didn’t “go there” this time. He used to have a really tight body – now he’s still lean, but not “tight” – which is no big deal. I was a bit wary of how clean he was so I figured I’d finger him before rimming him. When I fingered his hole the inside of his ass was felt rough / beat up. I’m guessing he’s got anal warts.

[70% of gay guys between the ages of 16 and 30 have HPV, and that number just goes up as they get older. Once you’ve got HPV you can’t get rid of it, but you also can’t get reinfected. So if you’ve gotten HPV it’s safe to play with other guys who have HPV. There is a vaccine available. If you don’t have HPV – get vaccinated!]

Anyway the condition of his ass put me off wanting to rim him. So I just used spit and a little lube and fucked him as soon as I was hard enough to fuck. I initially tried fucking him with my PA, but couldn’t get it in his ass easily, so took it off and went back to fucking. The guy’s a sweet guy, but in that moment he was just a piece of meat with a hole in it that I could use to cum. I couldn’t quite get into a position that felt great, and I was starting to think I might not be able to cum, but then I felt it building up and a few moments later I was blowing a load in his ass.

I think part of the reason why my dick isn’t completely cooperating is my choice of ED meds. A few years ago the meds were all branded but the clinic I go to had a great deal on Levitra – so I used that. But I had always liked Cialis better, so when they went generic I went back to Cialis. I thought 5mg would be enough – so that’s the size pill I asked for. I’m now thinking it’s not enough, or that Levitra is actually better for me. The last hookup I took 5mg of Cialis and then took part of a Levitra as well – and I had no problem cumming even when things were less than perfect. So I need to experiment a bit – see if a higher dose of Cialis will work or whether I should go back to Levitra (or do some blended approach like yesterday).

So while I only gave 3 loads this past month, I have fucked 6 guys which isn’t too bad. I’m hoping to fuck a couple/few guys this weekend since it’s Pride, but then I have a family trip with no chance to fuck. When I get back I hope to do a lot more fucking. I wouldn’t say the pandemic is over, but it’s time to get back to being a slut… 😈

Load 2021-8

After I got vaccinated I made a pledge to not jack off and only cum when I was fucking. I was doing really well on that pledge until last week when I was looking at porn on Twitter and saw this video of Adrian Zuki getting fucked… To say I’m into little guys is an understatement. Well, his blue hair isn’t really a turn on, but it’s not a turn off either. But he’s so little… Seeing him get fucked by some big, beefy, hairy, tattooed top was just really hot. And just a year ago or so he was almost exclusively doing condom scenes, now he’s 100% bareback. So anyway, I was watching that video, hadn’t cum in 5 days, and then I felt myself starting to cum. Once I get that feeling there’s not really a way to stop it. So I just went with it and blew my load. I was disappointed in myself, but it happened. I did scoop up and eat as much of my load as I could to make the best of a bad situation…

And just as an aside – the reason I hadn’t cum in 5 days was because I was worried I had an STI. There was a small amount of stuff drying on my Prince Albert during the night and I was worried it was discharge. But after a couple days it didn’t turn into full-on discharge and there was no pain when I pissed, so I realized the problem was me trying to stretch my PA. Since my 0g (8mm) ring was fitting comfortably, I had put my 9mm to stretch it a bit the two days before the problem started. That irritated the piercing and caused the stuff drying on the ring during the night. So all of this happened because I was being a conscientious top and not trying to give someone an STI.

Anyway, two days later I was ready to fuck, so I looked for a bottom. I didn’t want to waste all day trying to find the perfect bottom so I went with this guy who lived over in East Harlem. I had previously attached a note to his profile saying I thought he might PNP. But in the moment he was a willing and eager hole who was ready to fuck and not too far away, so I headed over. He had given me codes to get through the doors into his building, but when I got there they didn’t work. Then he gave me a name to look up in the building directory, but it wasn’t listed. Finally I got through the outer gate but then couldn’t find the entrance to the building. (You’d think you might mention where it is if it’s not apparent, but he didn’t.) I had better luck getting through the front door of the building. As I approached his door I could hear a dog barking. He had left the door ajar and when I started to open it the dog was barking at me and trying to get out of the apartment (it was a little dog). I manged to get into the apartment without letting the dog out, but the dog was clearly bothered by my being there.

The bottom was legs up on his bed, as he promised, but the dog was still running around being aggressive towards me. The guy tried to say stuff (in Spanish) to calm the dog, but it wasn’t working. I started rimming the guy. This hole was all greasy – which was unfortunate, but understandable. As I was rimming the guy and jacking my dick the dog comes from under the bed and I feel a nip. Having my dick out in a place where it could get bitten by a dog wasn’t my idea of a great time. As soon as I was hard enough to fuck I switched to fucking.

The bottom clearly wanted to get fucked legs up, but the position was all wrong for me. I just wanted to cum and get out of there before the dog actually bit me. So I had the bottom get on his belly. He didn’t understand and got on all fours at which point I sorta pushed him down. At that point it became a three-way testing of wills – me, the bottom, and the dog. The bottom started squirming around and wanted to change position. The dog was still running around jumping up on the bed, down, then up again being really aggressive. And I just wanted to cum. That’s when I was happy that I can cum so quickly. Like a minute later I felt myself cumming. I literally had to hold the bottom in place (he was squirming and trying to change positions). He wasn’t even “present” enough to know I was blowing a load in his ass.

Once I came I didn’t really care so much about position. We switched it up and I started fucking him again, but the dog was still charging at me and trying to bite me. I had enough of the whole situation, pulled out, put the ring back in my PA, put on my shorts, went to the bathroom to wash up a bit, and then left.

I have no clue how the bottom interpreted that whole situation. I’m not even sure he knows he got my load. I suspect my initial note warning myself that he might PNP was correct. Given everything that went wrong, I can’t see hooking up with him again.

But hey, my load went in his ass. At least I managed that much.

Load 2021-3

Well, since I did my last blog post I fucked three guys (all Latino), but only came with one of them.

First guy turned out to be super close to me. Small, skinny guy (my type). Had a super clean hole I spent a lot of time rimming, and for a while I gave him a decent fuck. But the chemistry and positions were off. When I first arrived he seemed more into jacking his dick than getting fucked. He just seemed hesitant. I’d try to push him this way or that way to get into a better position with him, but he’d resist. At one point he mentioned that some positions were difficult due to a previous injury. He so close and so much my type he’s worth a second try one of these days. Maybe at my place instead of his. And the interpersonal chemistry thing improved vastly as we talked while I was getting my clothes on. Some of my first impressions were off with him.

Second guy was a 20-something cumdump who was taking loads in a tiny little hotel room in midtown. His status on his profile just said “negative”, so not sure if he was on PrEP or bug chasing. I gave him his “10th or 12th” load (he had lost track). He was a lot heavier than I usually like, but his hole felt great and he followed directions (so no problems with position).

The third guy had a profile name that suggested he was pretty experienced, but in person that didn’t carry through to action. He was also significantly heavier than some of his pics, though in his profile he did call himself a chub. He wanted to have sex in his living room – on the coffee table with the blinds open (his neighbors, not mine, so no problem there). There was no bed and the couch wasn’t big enough to be useful. He was very oral. He expected his blowjob (with teeth!) to get me fully hard. It got me about 80% of the way there. I was hard enough to fuck, but he was really tight. When I finally did rim him I did taste some cum – he said he’d taken a load before I got there. Finally I tried to put him on his belly on a pillow on the floor, but that just didn’t work, so I gave up and went home.

No not the greatest experiences, but not horrible either.

Load 2015-25

A few of you have been making notice that I haven’t been blogging much. Well, I haven’t given many loads lately. There was just one with a bottom at Steamworks Toronto when I was up there over Columbus Day / Canadian Thanksgiving. It was a quick pump-n-dump, so not to much to write about.

It’s not like I haven’t been fucking. I just haven’t been giving loads. I’ve fucked at bars a couple times. But it’s not like that’s a very conducive place to blow a load. Especially when I’m drinking and not at 100% as a top. And I’ve gone to sex clubs a few times but I usually go to Paddles and 1) they don’t have a bed, so I can’t really get bottoms in the position I want, and 2) I might be able to cum early on, but if I do then that sorta stops me from topping later.

So bottom line, I’ve fucked 26 holes since my last blog post, but only given 2 loads.

The bottom today was a bit unfortunate. For some strange reason there were a million bottoms online looking for loads. At least not ones that wanted to travel to Harlem. (In one case it was just 1 stop on the subway for a guy who lived in Columbus Circle, but he didn’t want to bother). So when this guy hit me up that lived nearby I said yes. His pics were decent, but not incredible. I expected a guy with an average body and sort of a working class vibe to him. That’s usually a recipe for good sex.

BUT his pics were old. He’d gained weight and just wasn’t as attractive as his pics. I just wanted to blow my load and get on with my day, so I went through with it.

At first he wasn’t dropping to his knees or anything, but finally he got the hint and started sucking my cock. It took a little while to get hard, but when I was I had him go over to the bed. He laid on his belly and given that he had “a rather full” ass I was worried how that would go. It’s usually my favorite position, but I wasn’t sure if I could get in deep enough. But I managed, and just took shorter strokes and focused on blowing my load, which I did after just a couple minutes.

Then I got up, put on some clothes, washed my dick in the sink and showed him out.  It was sort of a slam, bam, thank you ma’am sorta hookup.

It got me off, so that part was good, but not sure I’ll hookup with him again.

Unfortunately this story is about a failure on my part. Monday was a holiday so when a hot little mid-20-something hit me up wanting a dark room pump-n-dump I sorta had to say yes.

I got there and his apartment was so dark I didn’t know where to go. I finally found the bedroom and he was ass up in a jockstrap. Totally my type – short, thin, young, and looked a bit Hispanic, though his profile said “White”. He said he already had 2 loads in him.

Part of me wonders how my life would be different if I had had the sexual freedom when I was young that that cumdump has now. To be honest, I’m a bit jealous of kids of his generation. But I digress…

Anyway, I didn’t intend to stay long, so I kept my clothes on – even my jacket. His hole was really nice, his body was just like I like it but (long story short), my dick just never quite responded. I tried a few times to fuck him when I was semi-hard, but he was tight and I couldn’t get in. I was thinking once I was in him I’d get harder, but I couldn’t get in him.

I gotta say he was an incredible bottom. He was completely patient. Most bottoms would have gotten frustrated, but not only was he not frustrated, he was rock hard the entire time.

Who knows why I didn’t get hard enough to fuck. I hadn’t taken a Cialis in quite a few days, but I was getting rock hard looking at porn just an hour or two earlier. Maybe it was my blood sugar or some other factor. Who knows.

Anyway, I finally laid down on the bed and rimmed his hole while we alternated between me jacking my cock and him sucking me. Then I felt my orgasm coming. I still wasn’t rock hard, but he got a pretty big load in his mouth.

I can literally count the number of times I’ve given an oral load on one hand, and probably have fingers left over. It’s probably been around 25 years since I last came in someone’s mouth. So there’s a chance I haven’t given an oral load since before the he was born. Sorta funny to think about it that way…

So I was (and am) frustrated. The whole thing feels like a huge failure. But at least the bottom got my load one way or another. Hopefully I can make it up to him at some point with a good and proper fuck. He deserves at least that much.

Well, the last few days my attempts to give loads have run up against bad bottoms that sorta defeat my best intentions.

Sunday I was at the Eagle and was out in the backyard with a few friends. This skinny tattooed guy came out and hung out like he knew us – listening to our rather frank/personal discussion. Finally I just introduced myself. Then we continued on our conversation – but he still just stood there and listened. Finally he started getting frisky with one of my friends – grinding his ass into my friend’s crotch. Next thing I knew the back of his shorts were down and my friend was fucking him. It was sorta hot and I repositioned myself next to them so I could watch a bit more closely.

Then, right when things were getting hot and heavy, one of the barbacks comes out with a bunch of trash and castigates the guys saying “You can’t do that here! You’re on camera” – and he points to the camera right above them. My friend pulls out and my other friends start chatting with the barback – seems they knew him pretty well.

As soon as the barback was gone my friend didn’t seem interested in fucking anymore and he wandered away and the bottom started paying attention to me – he wanted to suck my dick which he did briefly but I told him I wanted to fuck. We got into a corner, away from the cameras (with friends watching the door), and the guy bent over and I spit on my dick ans shoved in.

Pretty soon I started smelling shit. I was hoping it wasn’t too bad. I kept fucking to see if I could cum quickly, but it wasn’t happening and the smell of shit was getting stronger. So I pulled out and my dick was covered in it. I had my 2 gauge PA in (the curved barbell, not th ring), and that only made things messier. I told him about the problem and he kept apologizing profusely. I told him I needed something to clean up with – preferably something moist. He disappeared and then one of my friends said he’d go get something. (The mark of a true friend is when they fetch clean up stuff when you’re in a situation like that). Meanwhile I was pissing – hoping that would clean things a little. But there was no way I was shoving a shit-covered dick back into my pants where it would mess up my pants.

My friend came back with a bunch of napkins. They helped a lot. I used the bottom’s beer for moisture. And generally got things more or less clean. Then the bottom came back with a little towel that was moist. It would never have been adequate on its own, but I was impressed he’d show his face again in order to make things better.

So that attempt to give a load ended rather disastrously. Unfortunately, tonight didn’t go any better.

Today I was in the mood to fuck and there were two gangbangs listed on BBRT. I did a request for both since what’s motivating me as a top lately is cummy holes and the best way to fuck a cummy hole is at a gangbang. I was a little surprised when the one guy who had 60+ attendees didn’t approve me. Maybe he was feeling overwhelmed with responses or something – who knows? But I was happy when, ‘TigerBeat’ a hot, late-20-something bottom approved me for his gangbang. I replied letting him know when I would try to get there, and he replied back something like “sounds good”.

I headed down a few minutes earlier than I had originally planned. He lived in the Lower East Side, so it was a bit of a hike – but the idea of a hot guy with a cummy hole made the trip worth it. I get there and ring the buzzer and heard a crackle on the intercom, but the door didn’t open. Then a guy came out of the building with his laundry and he let me in. I went up to the apartment (a 5th floor walk-up) and before I could ring the doorbell the door opened. The guy was in his underwear (nice tight body), there was music in the background, and he said something like “Sorry, I sent you an email asking you not to come”. Ugh! Seriously? He went on to say he knew about my blog and he “respected me, but [he] needed to be discreet”. All I could think to say was “Are you sure?” He was, so I turned around and left.

But in hindsight that’s total bullshit. I mean I look better in person than I do in my pics. If he wasn’t me, then he shouldn’t have approved me, given me his address, AND responded positively to my confirmation. There were plenty of chances to say “don’t come” prior to when I logged off. And the whole discretion thing… Please, discreet bottoms don’t post gangbang ads. Discreet bottoms don’t have public profiles with pics.

I protect the identities of the guys I fuck. The only time I mention a guy’s profile name / stage name is when he’s a porn star or he wants me to, and then I make a point to only say good things about him. A few times guys have told their friends that I fucked them and then the friends have figured out which write-up was about their friend. But that wasn’t me telling making the ID – that was the bottom giving out too many details. But when the guy makes me travel over an hour (round trip) for absolutely nothing – then I don’t really feel the need to (completely) protect his identity. So if discretion and anonymity was TigerBeat’s objective – then his plan backfired. You all now know who stood me up, and now that I’ve linked to it, Google will index his profile.

Ugh! I really hate bad bottoms. Seriously guys – if you’re grinding you ass on guys’ crotches at a bar – make sure you’re clean, and if you invite someone to a gangbang – don’t turn them away when they get there… Where is Miss Manners when we need her?