My desision not to be a bug chaser

If you’ve been reading this for a while you know I’m neg, but pretty “poz friendly”, even bug chaser friendly. At least on a fantasy level I think it would be sorta hot to be a poz top. The sex I get into is a lot about power/control and risk/vulnerability – it’s just natural that the whole HIV/poz thing accentuates those factors, so I totally get how HIV gets eroticized.

I’ve even gone as far as wondering if I wanted to bottom for a high viral load top to hurry things along. The high viral load guy I fucked this past month offered to breed me and given that I tend to bleed when I get fucked (’cause there’s a tear down there that’s never quite healed properly), had I gone for it, it probably would have done the trick.

But I didn’t go for it, though I was really ambivalent. Curiously I had the apartment to myself some nights and getting bred on those days would have had a certain poetic/ironic quality to it. World AIDS Day was one day, and on the “gift giving” side of things – my birthday was another day I had the place to myself, and then there was a day early in Christmas week.

In the end it came down to the fact that while I don’t mind taking risk having the sex that I normally have being a top, I didn’t really want to do more than that. The phrase that kept going through my head was “life has enough hassles I don’t need to go looking for another one”.

Now, had I been a bottom I think the decision would have been completely different. In that case my normal sex life would most certainly have resulted in becoming poz, so I think I would have embraced the whole poz thing and bug chased. There’s something to having a decent idea of who pozzed you, or knowing when it happened (say a gangbang), or having a video o it. And I probably would have done the same if I were versatile.

But I’m a top and it’s not certain that I’ll become poz, so I’m going to just keep doing what I’m doing. If it happens, I’m fine with it. If it doesn’t, I’m fine with that too…

I guess my whole point in this post is to say I know where a lot of you are coming from. I understand those of you who are bug chasers, and I understand those of you who choose not to bug chase but still fantasize about it. To me it all seems pretty normal.

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Teen Getting Bred in San Francisco Hotel

Saw this on Craigslist and just had to point it out… A teen, just turned 19, neg, wants as many loads as possible as “a gift” to himself for his birthday…

I just turned 19 this past week and as a promised birthday gift to myself, I am going to be staying in a hotel room all tonight, through Monday, and all of Tuesday, lubed and ready to take as many BB, RAW loads from as many men as possible!

I want to learn what it means to be a cum dump bottom willing to get fucked long, hard, and often, by a record number of men!

I have only been fucked by 2 men in my life and after this is over, I want that number to be huge! The more men, the better! I am 19 and neg.

I am willing to take all loads and be the true cum dump that I am!! Email pics for my location!!

Who knows if it’s for real, if he’s only been fucked by two guys I’m sorta doubting it is… Or maybe he did post it ’cause it’s his fantasy, but not sure a guy like that would follow through and actually do it.

Any tops in SF want to check it out to see if he’s actually going through with it? Should be a hot fuck from the looks of it…

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Is your boyfriend a bug chaser?

The other night I met up with a guy I know through the blog. Didn’t fuck him – just went out for drinks. He’s like the third person I know who’s in his 40s, in a 10+ year relationship, who’s a bug chaser. In all three cases the boyfriend has no clue.

I’m wondering if there’s a difference based on age when it comes to bug chasing. He was talking about how younger guys (tweens) just think of barebacking as normal sex. Then there’s a whole group who just don’t want to admit they’re bug chasing when they tested neg and are taking anonymous loads from guys they don’t know. But I think guys in their 40s saw some of the horrors and when they decide to take loads they’re more honest with themselves about the risks and what they’re doing.

Then there’s the whole relationship angle… Needless to say that’s a bit complicated, and interesting as well…

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