Load 2022-3

I really need to up the number of loads I’m giving. Three in a month isn’t great at all… But part of it is my dick being unpredictable for some reason.

A couple of weeks ago I hooked up with this clean-cut muscled jock guy who I fucked last year. Back then he was a bug chaser, now his BBRT profile list him as “positive”, so his efforts were successful 😉. I got hard enough to fuck him and he was loose enough I could fuck him with my PA in, but I pretty quickly I could tell I wasn’t going to be able to maintain it and definitely wouldn’t be able to cum – so I gave up. Meanwhile he had been rock hard the entire time, so I asked if he wanted to jack off and put just the head of his dick in my hole as he came. He quickly said yes, and like 15-20 seconds later he was blowing his load in my ass. Even just taking the head was painful (he’s got a pretty big dick for a bottom), but it was hot. I was then rock hard and wanted to go back to fucking him, but he said he can’t get fucked after cumming 🙁. I need to do another session with him. He’s a great piggy fuck. I’ve since learned he gets into fisting – so that could be fun. I feel like I need to get back into the other forms of raunchy sex – BDSM, fisting, piss…

Then a week ago I went over to fuck this black guy who’s a few blocks from me. We hadn’t really talked about how it would go… I knocked on his door and then I think I heard him say “come in”, so I tried and the door was open. I go in and there’s this gorgeous black muscle guy, blindfolded, ass up, face down on the bed. Long story short I rimmed him for a LONG time, then fucked him for a LONG time (like 20-30 minutes) – occasionally pulling out to rim him some more. BUT I was never quite as hard as I wanted to be and I couldn’t cum. He was really into my PA. For part of the fuck I did keep my PA in, but then took it out. When it was all over I apologized for it not being my best fuck and not cumming, and that didn’t seem to bother him at all. He wants hookup again (hit me up yesterday saying he was available on Saturday – but I’m not available then unfortunately). Anyway – he’s another one I need to hookup with again…

Then a day or two after that fuck I came across a guy on Sniffies who was really close to me. I couldn’t tell much from his pic, but figured he was so close it was worth a shot. He turned out to be this cool, young, mixed-race, scruffy guy. But there wasn’t really a good place to fuck at his apartment and he was really oral and didn’t like being rimmed. Oral does nothing for me and my dick chose that moment to go to sleep so I couldn’t get hard enough to fuck him. And I would have had to be hard as a rock to get in his ass – he was super tight. So we gave up and chatted a bit instead…

After fucking the first guy I had jacked off the next morning, but then told myself I was going to try (once again) to not jack off and only cum when I was fucking some bottom. But after repeated failed attempts I gave up and jacked off the morning after hooking up with the oral guy.

Yesterday I FINALLY managed to breed someone. A couple of options didn’t work out, but there was a guy who was in the general neighborhood who said he was free and could come over. He used to be one of my regulars. I first fucked him 10 years ago, but haven’t fucked him in 6 years. In the past he was one of the guys who’d gotten into “race play” with me, but we didn’t “go there” this time. He used to have a really tight body – now he’s still lean, but not “tight” – which is no big deal. I was a bit wary of how clean he was so I figured I’d finger him before rimming him. When I fingered his hole the inside of his ass was felt rough / beat up. I’m guessing he’s got anal warts.

[70% of gay guys between the ages of 16 and 30 have HPV, and that number just goes up as they get older. Once you’ve got HPV you can’t get rid of it, but you also can’t get reinfected. So if you’ve gotten HPV it’s safe to play with other guys who have HPV. There is a vaccine available. If you don’t have HPV – get vaccinated!]

Anyway the condition of his ass put me off wanting to rim him. So I just used spit and a little lube and fucked him as soon as I was hard enough to fuck. I initially tried fucking him with my PA, but couldn’t get it in his ass easily, so took it off and went back to fucking. The guy’s a sweet guy, but in that moment he was just a piece of meat with a hole in it that I could use to cum. I couldn’t quite get into a position that felt great, and I was starting to think I might not be able to cum, but then I felt it building up and a few moments later I was blowing a load in his ass.

I think part of the reason why my dick isn’t completely cooperating is my choice of ED meds. A few years ago the meds were all branded but the clinic I go to had a great deal on Levitra – so I used that. But I had always liked Cialis better, so when they went generic I went back to Cialis. I thought 5mg would be enough – so that’s the size pill I asked for. I’m now thinking it’s not enough, or that Levitra is actually better for me. The last hookup I took 5mg of Cialis and then took part of a Levitra as well – and I had no problem cumming even when things were less than perfect. So I need to experiment a bit – see if a higher dose of Cialis will work or whether I should go back to Levitra (or do some blended approach like yesterday).

So while I only gave 3 loads this past month, I have fucked 6 guys which isn’t too bad. I’m hoping to fuck a couple/few guys this weekend since it’s Pride, but then I have a family trip with no chance to fuck. When I get back I hope to do a lot more fucking. I wouldn’t say the pandemic is over, but it’s time to get back to being a slut… 😈

Load 2021-2

Yesterday I needed to go to the Upper West Side for a COVID test, so I posted on BBRT looking for a bottom in the area. A daddy hit me up and was in a good location for me, so we made plans. His profile pics were pretty hot – a solid, masculine DILF. His profile just said “positive”, not “undetectable”. Usually that’s code for “I’m not on meds”, but not always. He had hit me up before a few days earlier in the middle of the night when I had woken up and couldn’t sleep and had gotten onto BBRT to respond to some emails. I think it was like 4 in the morning and he hit me up wanting me to come over right then. In my experience the only people who are up at 3 or 4 in the morning are drug addicts who are “parTying” and I really hate fucking guys who are high. So I wondered about him…

I rode my bike down and his place was right on one of the decent routes back, so if you looked at my route you’d never know I stopped for a pump-n-dump since there were no tell-tale detours. He had told me the door would be ajar – it wasn’t, but it was unlocked. So I went in. His bedroom door was barely ajar and he was inside, on the bed in just jeans with porn playing on the TV. If I had to guess I’d say he’s probably gotten into drugs – he lacked the “robustness” that was in his pics. It’s always sad to see meth make hollow shells out of people. Or maybe it was just bad lighting and circumstance (the room was pretty dark). Either way, he was fuckable and didn’t seem high and it had been 8 days since I’d blown my load in the other guy, so it wasn’t like I was going to leave.

He crawled down the bed and started sucking my dick. I got hard pretty quickly and started pushing down his pants to feel his hole. He got the hint and turned around and took them off and got on all fours, head down. Normally I’d rim before fucking, but something about the situation I wasn’t really wanting that in the moment, so I just put some spit on my dick and pushed in his ass. My first thought was that I needed more lube, but pretty quickly it was “good enough”. I was thinking I should take a pic, but didn’t (oh well).

I fucked him on all fours for a little while (not terribly long). It felt good and I wondered if I could cum that way. Probably could have if I kept at it but I had him get on his belly (my standard way to cum pretty quickly). At that point I got in deeper and all of a sudden his ass got really wet. He clearly had some loads in him and it felt really great. The additional sensation put me over the edge and I blew my 8 day load up his ass and then continued to slowly pump his ass for a bit.

When I pulled out my cock was completely drenched in cum. I hadn’t taken off my clothes. If I’d zipped up my jeans at that point I’d have gotten the inside of my jeans all wet with cum and ass juices. Fortunately he came to the rescue and sucked me clean.

I then zipped up and left before he could really suggest me staying. The entire encounter was 14 minutes – and that included me locking up my bike, going up to his place, fucking him, and coming back down and unlocking my bike.

He’s pretty close to me, so I’m sure I’ll fuck him again. A decent, convenient cumdump is a good thing to have around. And I should ask him about his viral load. It’d be hot if he’s toxic. 😈☣️

Load 2015-19

I’m having a lot of fun topping these days. Not sure what’s changed, but whatever it is I hope it keeps up. I suspect part of it is me getting back to the gym and getting in better shape – that’s probably helping with bloodflow to my dick 🙂 But who knows.

It seems like it’s been a couple years now that I’ve been wanting to fuck @Cuntarmo, though in one tweet he mentions he’s just been a total cumdump for a year now. I should back up a little bit and say I don’t usually identify the guys I fuck, but in this case we’re talking about one of NYC’s most prolific cumdumps and I’m just mentioning his Twitter handle and he’s pretty careful about masking his real identity…

If you follow @Cuntarmo on Twitter you’ll know that he takes pretty much any load and most days he’s getting multiple loads. It’s not uncommon for him to talk about getting 8-10 loads in a day, though I’m sure most days he’s probably in the 3-5 range. Do the math on that and you realize this guy probably gets >100 loads a month and >1000 per year. And that’s the low side of what I’d estimate he gets. And I don’t think he goes to many sex parties or bathhouses. He’s literally a public cumdump and tops just know they can drop by his apartment anytime, fuck him, and drop a load. Guys like him are sorta the reason I wanna build Cumdump Network – so tops can have a really easy time finding a cumpdump near them any time they’re horny. It’d even be handy for straight guys who can’t find pussy and would rather use a guy’s hole than jack off by themselves.

Anyway, yesterday I was horny and I had some cardiology tests down in Chelsea in the late afternoon. (Long story, but the tests were partly to see if I have atherosclerosis which might be reducing blood flow and causing current/future problems like erectile disfunction). I was horny so wanted to hookup before the tests so I put a Quick Connect ad on BBRT but then I noticed Cuntarmo was on there looking for loads. I figured he was reasonably close to my tests so I’d fuck him on my way to the tests. He got back to me saying the time would be fine, so I took down the Quick Connect ad.

I’d seen body pics of him but when I got to his place I was pleasantly surprised with what he looked like. I hadn’t expected him to be quite as small/skinny as he was – but that’s a pretty big plus in my mind. And he was sorta cute. He had the A/C on, but it was really hot and humid out and so I was pretty sweaty. So I stripped down to just my shoes. He sucked on my cock a bit, but if you read this blog much you’ll know blowjobs don’t really do much for me.

So I told him I wanted to rim him. Not sure what it is, but the last few weeks every ass I rim is cummy and I wind up felching loads from the bottom. Cuntarmo already had 2 loads in him and you could taste the sweetness. As usual that got me rock hard pretty quickly. I felched him a for a bit after I was hard enough to fuck just because I loved his cummy ass, but then I got up, put some spit on my dick and shoved in.

I was surprised. For someone who is fucked multiple times a day for months on end, Cuntarmo’s cunt was really tight. It was good I was rock hard. If I was even a little soft I’m not sure I would have gotten in. Even as it was I had to try a couple times and then really push. Of course it would have helped if I had used lube, but I didn’t think I’d need it after a stroke or two.

His hole felt really good. It was definitely wet/cummy, which I love, and it was tight, but I kept hitting something in him. In a lesser bottom I’d have worried that sensation was hitting “a log” (to put it politely), but I knew that wasn’t what I was hitting. But on every stroke the head of my dick would hit something, and it felt really good. For a while now I’ve noticed that there are tons of things that affect how I do with a bottom, but the absolute most important is whether the head of my dick rubs against something – that’s what gets me off.

I usually have a bottom get on his belly, but with Cuntarmo I just stayed in the doggy position. I figured if the sensations were that great on my dick, why try something else? And, as you’d expect, he got me to cum fairly quickly. And it was a pretty intense orgasm and I think a decent sized load.

After I came I could tell he wanted me to stay in him a bit, so I did, but not too long. When I pulled out I was still rock hard. He spun around and cleaned off my dick. My dick was so sensitive, but I told him to be gentle and he was.

As I put on my clothes he kept fingering his ass and then licking my cum (and the cum of the other two guys) off his fingers. He had a huge grin on his face the whole time. You can just tell that he’s found his purpose in life. He LOVES cum in his ass…

I then washed up a bit and left. The whole encounter was about 9-10 minutes  – so just a pump-n-dump. But that’s how both of us like it, so it’s all good.

So if you need a good cumdump, hit up @Cuntarmo on Twitter and give him your load. I highly recommend fucking him. There’s a reason why he gets so many loads – his ass is pretty much perfect.

Load 2014-5

5 loads given this far into the year is sorta pathetic – I know. It’s been just over 3 weeks since I fucked anyone and just over a month since I gave a load. That’s really bad. But it is what it is. I’ve been in a really asexual mood the last few weeks. Only got out of it the last couple days. I’ve just been focused on programming for BBBH.com. Not that I have anything to show for it, but I am making progress.

Anyway, the last guy I fucked was this black twink. Reasonably hot body, but as I was fucking him he asked me to pull out and cum on his face. I just stayed quiet. I knew it wouldn’t be very long until I’d cum, but then he kept pressing it – he explicitly said not to cum in his ass and then he managed to pull off my dick and he said he wanted to suck me off. I just looked at him with disgust and told him I don’t give oral loads and then I got off the bed. He took the hint and got up and got dressed. I mean my profile is REALLY clear about the fact that I want to cum in a guy’s ass.

The next hookup I had was even worse. It was in the middle of one of the big snow storms I was horny and didn’t really want to go out, but this hot twink told me to come over to his hotel. When he asked me to text him a cock pic as I was leaving the house I had a bad feeling about the hookup. That’s the wrong thing to say to someone who’s on their way to you. When I got to his hotel I knocked on his door and he said “Who’s there?” (like, who else was it going to be?) I said “It’s me.” There was no answer. I knocked again. Nothing. Then I got on A4A and tried to send him a message only to have the site tell me that he’s blocked me. Seriously? You had me come out in brutal weather for that?

So with two really bad experiences with twinks who were too inhibited to be good fucks, when  piggy bottom hit me up today, it seemed like a good match. He was older than me – which isn’t usually something I go for, but he had a decent body, etc. When I texted him a prior conversation came up – I had fucked him once before a little over a year ago. I had tagged him with another top. That hookup hadn’t gone so well, but this one went just fine.

Like before he asked if he could be hooded. That wasn’t what I was really looking for. It’s complicated for me to have a really anonymous scene since my bedroom isn’t all that close to the front door. All I really wanted was a pump-n-dump anyway and I told him as much.

I noticed he was getting to the end of his QuickConnect listing on BBRT. I asked him if he had any other loads in him and he said one, but he needed to douche it out before coming over because he wasn’t completely clean. He said he would be here in 20, but it took him 30 – which was close enough.

Winter makes things a bit complicated. When he came in he had to take off his boots. We didn’t say much – I wanted to keep it somewhat anonymous. I had him go before me to the bedroom so he wouldn’t be looking at me too much. He then needed to take a piss. When he came out of the bathroom he started stripping down and I came up behind him and put a bandanna over his eyes.

While he was in the bathroom I had taken off my jeans and boxers. Like me, he still had his shirt and a jockstrap on at this point and I didn’t see any reason to take them off. So I maneuvered him over to the bed and had him bend over. I got behind him and started rimming him. His ass was completely smooth and his hole was pretty nice.

Rimming got me hard pretty quickly, then I got up and had him get on all fours on the edge of the bed. I lubed up an pushed into him. It seemed to hurt him a bit which was surprising since he had gotten fucked earlier and AFAIK he gets fucked pretty regularly. He did seem pretty tight, which was nice. His pain wasn’t all that bad so I just kept on with my fucking.

I then had him get on his belly. I know that’s pretty routine for me, but all I wanted today was a simple fuck. After a while the pain seemed to go away and his grunts and groans stopped and he just laid there quietly. His hole felt pretty good. It was like a semi-tight sleeve on my cock. It felt like my cock was going straight down into the bed or something.

All I wanted to do was blow my load and get back to work, so I came fairly quickly. I then pulled out and walked around to the other side of the bed and had him suck me clean. I don’t think he understood that all I wanted was a pump and dump. He just kept laying there. So I went over and stuck my dick back in his ass and then rolled him on his side and pumped in and out until I went soft. Then I sorta spooned him for a few minutes. I was feeling his body through two layers of shirts, but he had a pretty nice compact body.

Eventually I untied the blindfold and he figured out it was time to go.

All in all a decent hookup this time. Just goes to prove older bottoms can be better fucks than cute young things.

Load 2013-23

Only 23 loads given this year… Yeah, I know that’s a bit sad… But it is what it is. On the plus side since I’ve been going to sex parties I’ve been getting my dick in a lot of new holes. If I keep that up I should fuck more guys than I’ve fucked in years past.

Monday I was debating about going to the JOC party, but then my bf and friends wanted to go out to the Eagle – so Eagle it was. Anyway, that’s not the story I’m trying to tell. Point is I took a Cialis in anticipation of the evening’s events but then the evening turned out to be sexless. So woke up Tuesday with a big hardon and needed a hole to unload in.

I logged into BBRT and A4A. Absolutely nothing was happening on A4A – there was like one pending message when I logged in (usually there are a half dozen or so). BBRT was pretty quiet too. There were a couple nibbles, but I started to give up. But then this one bottom hit me up and said he already had 2 loads in him and wanted more. I told him where I was and asked if he was up for traveling. He came back with asking me where I was located. Ummm… I just answered that question, so I repeated my answer and sort of wrote him off. But then he came back and seemed serious, so I gave him my full address and he was out the door on his way here pretty much immediately. The bed was covered in clean laundry that needed to be folded. I folded a bunch of it and then just put the rest aside and got ready for him.

He texted me when he got out of the subway and then took 10 minutes to walk what’s usually a 6 min walk, which was a bit odd, but he did finally get here. He was pretty cute for a cumdump 😉 I sorta envied him. I blow my load and I’m done for the day. He can go from top to top taking load after load. Here it was just before noon and he was about to get his third load. How many was he going to get before he went to bed? 10? 15? 20? Do bottoms have more fun?

He had to take a piss so I stripped down while he was in the bathroom. I had gotten my big PA in the day before, but it was pretty sore after walking around a lot yesterday with it tugging on my dick. He looked down at my dick and I could tell he didn’t quite know what to do with it – or he wasn’t very enthusiastic about sucking dick when it had such a big ring in it. That I understand completely – the metal knocks your teeth and hurts like hell.

So I just told him to get on the bed that I wanted to rim him. As he was turning around I asked him how recently he got the other two loads. If it had been a while it could have been a bit of a funky mess – luckily he had gotten them just before coming to me.

The first few licks were more like felching than rimming. His ass tasted like cum. It was pretty hot. Then I started sucking on his hole, but he didn’t really get the hint and push out more cum. No matter – his cummy ass made me rock hard. I got up, grabbed the lube – put a little on his hole (not that it needed it), and a bunch on my dick and ring and then shoved the ring and my dick into his hole.

I fucked him a little with the PA, but it was hurting too much to give him a proper fuck. So I pulled out, took off the ring, and went back to fucking him. Not sure what he thought, but I think I gave him a pretty good fuck. I was doing these long strokes and pounding away at his hole. The only thing was that I didn’t last all that long. His ass felt incredible thanks to the two loads that were already inside him. There’s just something about a cummy hole that you can never achieve with a lot of lube. Cum really is the best lube.

I actually held out a little longer than I thought I would. I felt my orgasm coming but then it didn’t cum. Took quite a few strokes and then I felt it – a full body orgasm – my whole body tingled all over as I shot a nice big load up his already cummy hole.

When I was done I thought briefly about felching him some more but it seemed a little funky down there, so I stopped pretty quickly. I was out of breath anyway – and from experience I don’t like felching when I’m breathing really hard. We got up and then he got down on his knees and cleaned off my dick. The head of my dick and the hole for my piercing were really sensitive so I told him to go easy on my dick. He gently sucked all the cum and ass juice off my cock. He started jacking his dick and asked me if he could cum. I said “sure if you want”, but honestly I didn’t really care if he came. I fucked his face a little and then we stopped.

He was dressed and ready to leave before I could get my PA ring back in my dick. So I threw on a pair of shorts and walked him out as I was putting on my t-shirt. It was a total pump-n-dump – all that happened in under 10 minutes. Later my bf asked me why it was a such a short hookup. All I could say was because he got me to cum quickly. Later I regretted saying that – I felt like fucking again. If I had implied that it wasn’t a great hookup I might have gotten a second hookup in for the day. 😉 But honestly, it was a pretty incredible hookup. Loved having a full-body orgasm.

Load 2012-47

There’s another couple hookups I have to write up from Wednesday, but let me tell you what happened last night…

Yesterday I woke up with a hardon that wouldn’t go away. I had taken a Cialis the day before and as typical Cialis seems to give me the biggest boners the next day. I couldn’t hookup until the afternoon but when I looked in the afternoon no one was available. Around 5 or so there was suddenly a flurry of guys who wanted to hookup. I’ve learned in the past you go with whoever commits first. (A bird in the hand, is better than 2 in the bush).

My bird in the hand was a mixed race guy with a stocky build. Of course just after I told him to come over this smooth, young, muscular blatino guy wanted to come over… But that was just too bad…

I’ve been paying a little more attention to Adam4Adam lately. There’s a lot of guys on there who say “Neg, Safe Sex Only” and then tell me they have no problem barebacking. My mixed race guy was one of those. When I asked about bareback he said “Yes, you’re neg, I am.” Thing was, he didn’t actually ask me my status. He was going off my stated status on my profile and we all know how accurate those are.

Around the time I was telling him to come over I was noticing the raging hardon I had all day wasn’t there anymore. That concerned me a bit… But more about that later…

So he shows up, he’s stockier/beefier than I usually hookup with, but still attractive. Even though he’s mixed race, he looks black (it feels like I’m fucking a lot of black guys lately). Then I notice he’s nearly fully hard and not even touching himself, while I’m completely soft. Ugh… I really didn’t want to have to deal with my dick not cooperating…

He immediately gets on his knees to suck my dick, and I let him for suck for a little bit. But I knew that was going to go anywhere, so told him I wanted to rim him. He gets on his back and throws his legs in the air and I dive in. I couldn’t quite tell how clean he was, so I didn’t really suck on his hole. It was more of a “polite” rimming.

That got me to about 80% hard, so I got up, lubed my dick and started fucking him figuring I’d get fully hard as I fucked him (it usually works). But the problems I’ve had with beefy guys in the past came into play. It was hard to find a position that rubbed my dick the right way. The best position I could find (him on his belly, legs together), just wasn’t doing it – I couldn’t get in deep enough.

I give him the best fuck I can manage and when I get worn out I stop and we roll on our sides and I continue pushing in and out of his ass. But it turns out he’d rather suck my dick, so he pulls off me and cleans off my dick and continues sucking. (That answered my question about whether he was clean or not). He sucked and sucked and sucked. I realized he was a very oral bottom. I ranged between about 40% hard and 80% hard – the dick wasn’t really cooperating, but he didn’t seem to mind too much. At one point he licked my balls and my taint while I jacked my dick. That got me pretty hard…

Finally I told him I wanted to rim him some more. This time I did a better job rimming him, but just didn’t get hard enough to fuck. I was just about to give up and call it a night, but he got me on my back and started sucking my dick again. Then he had a stroke of genius – he decided to 69 me – me rimming him, him sucking me.

I went to town on his hole now that I knew it was clean. I really started sucking on it. After a few minutes of sucking ass the coolest thing happened – his ass lips started to get puffy and prolapse a bit. I think that’s the right term – basically they started extending out and actually got a bit hard. I’ve never had sex with a woman, and know almost nothing about female anatomy, but I’ve always heard the clitoris is a bit like a little dick. That’s sort of what his prolapsing hole became – it was actually a bit hard – it was like I was sucking on a really small dick – only it was his ass. I’ve never really experienced that with anyone else – it was sort of weird. It was totally cool and a huge turn on (I’m getting hard thinking about it).

Needless to say my dick responded and after a bit I realized he was choking on my dick as he tried to deepthroat it. I let him have some fun for a bit and then said I wanted to fuck. I put him on his belly, legs together and start fucking him. There still wasn’t a lot of sensation, but my dick was harder and hence longer, and so I was going deeper. There was just enough sensation – especially when I did longer strokes and fucked him harder. So fuck harder is exactly what I did. My mind went to him assuming I was neg ’cause my profile said I was neg and then to the flu-like illness I just had a few weeks ago. While it probably wasn’t fuck flu, I can’t rule that out. It was sort of hot thinking I could be blowing a toxic load in his hole. With all that going through my mind I didn’t cum quickly, but eventually I did feel the load building up and I was able to blow in his hole. Not the biggest load (since I’d cum the day before), but big enough to do the job. 😉

After I came he wanted me to stay inside him while he jacked off. It took quite a while for him to cum, but he did eventually cum. As he came his hole tightened up and pushed out my semi-hard cock.

As we lay next to each other we got to talking – and he was quite the talker – he sorta had verbal diarrhea. But what he was saying was pretty interesting and relevant to my experience living in Harlem (he grew up in a similar neighborhood and was telling me stories about what it was like as a black man to grow up in a place like that). Eventually things needed to wrap up, so I turned on the light, and then started getting dressed while I continued to listen to him. He got the hint and got dressed himself, and that was the end of things.

So this is one hookup where I was glad to not be with a submissive bottom. If he hadn’t worked and been so insistent about keeping things going I probably wouldn’t have cum and I definitely wouldn’t have figured out the joys of a slightly prolapsed hole. 🙂