Loads 2022-1 & 2022-2

There’s a lot I could say about what’s been going on with me, but not quite ready to share all the gory details quite yet. One thing I will say is that I really miss the risk there used to be with barebacking – back before there was PrEP. I used to really get off on a neg bottom just trusting/hoping I was neg. It always amazed me that a bottom’s desire to be bred was stronger than their desire to stay neg. I mean I came out in 1989 – so for the first 7 years of my gay life sex was synonymous with risk – and bareback fucking was extremely high risk – it could literally kill you. So for me sex has always been a game of calculated risk.

Now with PrEP there’s basically no risk – other than with run-of-the-mill STIs that can be cured it’s all pretty much safe sex these days – which isn’t nearly as fun. 😈 Mind you, the “safe sex” feels 100x better these days than it did back in the day with condoms, but it’s lacking the edge. Among other things, I’m wondering if I should get back into BDSM and find a pain pig…

Suffice it to say COVID didn’t help my sex life. After having gone through the whole AIDS epidemic I’m wary of deadly infectious diseases that aren’t well understood. Plus, being 50-something with hypertension puts me at a bit of risk. So I just stepped back for a while. I did do some hookups last year, but not nearly as many as I would have liked. And this year Omicron made the infection rate shoot up really high. Just when it was getting low enough for me to feel comfortable it went up again.

That said, this isn’t two years ago, or even a year ago. They do understand the basics of COVID now and I’m probably really low risk since I’m 4x vaxxed. So can’t say I’ll be going to crowded bars or sex clubs any time soon, but I’m gonna start trying to do more one-on-ones, and maybe mix it up with quiet nights at the Eagle on the off chance it’s cruisy.

A couple weeks ago I fucked a few guys…

First guy was a gangbang at “that hotel” everyone’s using these days for gangbangs. There was another top in there fucking the guy when I got there. Both the top and the bottom were really verbal in a way that seemed forced and weird. The top was good about letting me step in and fuck. It seemed like he had been there for a while and was in no hurry to leave. I started fucking the guy with my PA in. But the room was really really hot and it was clear I couldn’t cum. So I took a break, took my PA out, and jacked a bit while trying to cool down. Then I went at it again, but I was overheating and could tell I’d never cum. So I gave up, went into the bathroom and tried to dry myself off with paper towels and then I left.

The next day I still needed to cum so I had this black guy over who I’ve fucked before (9! years ago). He’s aged, but he still had a great body – short, muscular – just how I like my bottoms 😉 I needed to cum so badly I didn’t last long. I felt a little bad about it. But I continued to pump his ass until I went soft, then we laid kinda spooning while I felt him up – which he seemed to like. For family reasons he’s in my neighborhood pretty regularly, so I’m hoping he’ll become a regular fuck buddy.

Then a few days later I was out in the Pines for Memorial Day weekend. I was supposed to hookup in the Meat Rack with this bottom off Twitter (who’s neg and not on PrEP 😈), but the Meat Rack is basically a huge maze and I wasn’t specific enough about where to meet, so about when I needed to get back I came across this bottom (fairly lean, probably 40-something with really short salt-n-pepper hair) bent over taking dick with one or two other guys waiting to fuck him. I joined the cue, the top who was fucking him came in his ass, and an older top started fucking him. But the bottom wasn’t really into the older guy (even though he had a nice dick), so he turned and planted his ass on my dick. Given the scene it was no big deal that I came pretty quickly. Problem was when I pulled out there was shit on my dick. Luckily I had brought some paper towels to clean up with. When I said “Shit, he’s dirty” all the tops except the older guy left. Either the older guy didn’t hear me or he didn’t mind fucking a dirty hole.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll fuck the hot bug chaser I fucked last year. Thing is with bug chasers I’m often not sure if they’re actually bug chasers or just pretending to be a bug chaser. His profile now says “positive” (not “undetectable”) – not sure if that means he’s actually tested poz or that he hasn’t tested and he’s just assuming he’s poz. I’ll ask after I breed him. I like the idea of fucking a toxic ass – especially on a hot guy – it give me the element of risk I’ve been missing… 😈

Load 2021-7

Yesterday I bred this guy who’s been wanting my load for a while now. Apparently when he was younger and lived in another city he used to read my blog and I guess wanted my load back then, but it wasn’t an option. Then he moved to NYC. About 18 months ago he hit me up, said he had stopped taking PrEP and wanted my load. Then the pandemic hit and hooking up wasn’t really an option. He contacted me last fall from the sounds of it he’d been on-and-off PrEP but getting closer to commit to being poz. Well, yesterday I was able to host and he wanted my load bad enough that he took the subway up for a pump-n-dump.

I knew from his pics that he was relative hot, but when he got here I was surprised – he was really clean cut – which wasn’t what I was expecting in a bug chaser. The Asian guy last week had also been really clean cut but a total cumdump pig. It’s sorta hot when boy-next-door types are total bareback pigs. And when they’re bug chasing that’s even a step above.

Years ago bareback porn really took off after Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend. Prior to that point the guys were not pretty boys – or the few that were were minority, so (stupidly) didn’t have the mass appeal that a white boy jock / frat boy like Dawson had. The last year or so some of the independent producers are coming out with poz fetish porn, but it suffers from the same thing bareback porn suffered from back in the day – models that (to put it nicely) don’t really have mainstream appeal. There’s also the issue that (AFAIK) drugs are involved or at least many of those involved are known to do rather hard drugs (meth, etc.) I sometimes wonder what the response would be if a a white boy jock / frat boy type filmed his conversion and then did videos where he was openly “toxic” (e.g. wasn’t on meds and had a high viral load). We’re probably years away from that happening, which is fine because while it seems more guys are interested in becoming poz, it’s clearly a fringe group at the moment.

Anyway, all of that was to say that was sorta what was running through my head when I saw this clean cut, white boy show up at my door openly hoping this was the moment he’d get pozzed.

And honestly, I don’t know what’s real or just fantasy when I fuck guys. I purposely don’t discuss my status because I sorta like it that way. I don’t know the truth about them and they don’t know the truth about me. All I know is that he at least fantasizes about becoming poz. He could be on PrEP, or he could already be poz, or he could actually be bug chasing – only he really knows.

We went to the bedroom, he stripped down. I took off my pants and took out my Prince Albert. He got on his knees a bit and sucked on my dick, then we went over to the bed. I rimmed him for a bit. His ass was completely clean. No hint of musk or having been fucked already. While I was rimming him I put some lube on my dick and then stood up and slid in…

I took a few pics, then had him get on his belly and I continued fucking him. I told him I loved the fact that he wanted to get pozzed. There was a little banter back and forth along those lines. He was telling me he wanted me to blow a toxic load in him, etc. With all the hot talk it wasn’t long before I blew my load in his ass (I’m cumming really quickly these days). I was rock hard so just kept fucking him.

Then I got him on his side and slowly pumped in and out of his ass while I held him and felt his body until my cock went soft. We were both really quiet at that point, but it was a nice intimate moment. When my dick finally slipped out of his ass I rimmed him a bit more. His ass was wet but didn’t have a strong taste of cum. (I’m sure that changed as it leaked out later on).

While he was getting dressed he mentioned he wanted to know whether I was toxic or not, but knew I probably wasn’t going to tell him. Hopefully we’ll keep fucking and at some point I will tell him. But not yet…

Loads 2021-4 & 2021-5

A week ago I did a repeat with the poz daddy I fucked a month ago. I was a pretty standard quickie pump-n-dump. He already had a few loads in him and his hole felt really silky and wonderful. He’s a convenient hole to have nearby 😉 One of these days I’ll ask if the “positive” he states in his profile means he’s off meds. I’m always curious why guys would choose “positive” when they could choose “undetectable”.

Then yesterday I fucked one of the best asses I’ve fucked in a while. He was Asian, early 20s, short, with no excess body fat. Naked he had the body of a little boy. His waist was super tiny. I was the oldest guy who’s ever fucked him (probably older than his father). He said he had a load or two in him, but when I rimmed him I couldn’t taste any. It wasn’t until I was deep inside him that I could feel the wetness. We were both rushed for time so my cumming quickly was no problem. But the irony is that he’s someone I would have wanted a longer session with. I rimmed him after pulling out and still couldn’t taste any cum – even though I absolutely knew he had a decent size load from me up there. Then again, I did cum pretty deep. I’m hoping he wants a rematch!

Load 2017-5

Gotta say I LOVE it when bug chasers hit me up to take my load. Fucked another one almost two weeks ago now. He was literally desperate to get pozzed. You could just see it in his eyes.

He was actually sorta cute. Short, nice body, mixed race. I refused to confirm whether I was poz or neg, off meds or on them. He had to take my load to find out. When he got here he was sorta withdrawn and quiet. It was like he was just going through the motions, but with intense desire.

There was some “poz talk” while we were fucking, but honestly it didn’t’ take long for me to blow my load. Just the idea of him wanting me to infect him was a huge turn on.

Afterwards I came I stayed pretty hard and kept fucking him. Finally I rolled him on his side and spooned him while still pumping in and out of his ass. I asked him when when he started chasing and he said he went off PrEP two months before. In other words, his Christmas present to himself was going off PrEP and his New Year’s resolution was to get pozzed.  Something tells me that’s one New Year’s resolution that might actually get fulfilled 😉

Now I’ve got this other bug chaser hitting me up. Cute, fairly young, hot lean body. Hopefully I’ll get my load in him this weekend.

Loads 2017-1 & 2017-3

There’s this one hot little muscular Latino that I’ve been fucking for over 4 years now. Over that time I’ve given him 15 loads. He’s, by far, one of my favorite fucks and late last year he told me that he always tries to come over when I text him because I’m his favorite top.

It’s actually really sweet that I’m his favorite top because when I started fucking him I was “pretty bearish” (to put it nicely). He’s sorta my ideal type – Latino, really short, really muscular, completely masculine, and best yet he’s a total slut. He likes getting multiple loads in his ass. I’ve seen him post on Squirt saying he’s cruising the parks uptown looking for loads. I’ve seen him out at sex parties taking loads.

Oh, and he seems to really like quickies. The first time he came over this year my husband was in the other room and afterwards he remarked “that was less than 15 minutes!” I just shrugged and said “yeah, we both sorta like it quick”.

Anyway, when he came over a couple weeks ago I had taken a Levitra and I laid on the couch jacking off to some bug chaser blogs on Tumblr for a few minutes before he got there. I was rock hard when I answered the door and still hard when we got to the bedroom to strip down. He sucked a little on my dick and then got on the bed and I fucked him. One of the reasons why I like fucking little guys is because I can get deep enough to hit their “2nd sphincter” (the “transverse folds in the rectum” that your dick hits that make it feel like you’re going through another sphincter).

Then when he came over a couple days ago I was really rushed. I had to leave at 3:15 for a physical therapy appointment and he showed up at 3:00 – he was later than we’d originally planned because he stopped to get a load from another top 😉 Anyway, we had plenty of time. Once again I was hard from jacking my dick when he got there, we stripped down. There was a few seconds of kissing and oral and then I put him on the bed. Despite the fact that I almost always fuck him the same way he never seems to remember that I like him on his belly. It’s sorta funny – you’d think after all those fucks he’d remember. I mean usually on his knees is appropriate ’cause I  like to rim him, but there wasn’t time. Anyway, I came really quickly, he dressed and was on his way with his second load of the day, and I had time to gather my stuff and get on my way all by my 3:15 deadline.

Bottom line. I love fucking him. I probably even have a bit of a crush on him, but I wouldn’t say I love him ’cause I barely know him – it’s not like there’s much conversation. But I’m really glad I’ve got a hot bottom on-call and plan on fucking him pretty regularly this year…

2016-12

I’ve been really bad about blogging for while now. I’ve gone to a lot of sex parties this year, but haven’t actually bred that many holes. Sex parties are a good venue to fuck a lot of ass – I’ve fucked like 90 guys this year, BUT (for me) they’re horrible for actually cumming. I usually need the bottom on his belly to cum and most of the sex clubs around here don’t have proper beds.

Anyway… Last night I bred this bug chaser. God, I love bug chasers. There’s just something really hot about a guy begging you to give him a toxic load and convert him. This particular bug chaser was in town from the UK where (AFAIK) they’re still fighting about who’s gonna pay for PrEP. So many of the neg guys in NYC are on PrEP – I sorta miss the days when bottoms put their future health in the hands of the tops who fucked them raw. There were consequences to sex back then that made it edgier and more exciting than it is these days…

Anyway the bug chaser wanted me to fuck him with my big PA to rough up his hole. My PA has been a bit sensitive lately – especially when I wear my big ring for too long. But before I left the house I popped half a Levitra and put in the big ring. It’s not every day I get bottoms begging me to poz them, so didn’t mind giving him what he wanted – even if it was a bit painful for me.

I was sorta hoping I could watch him take other loads, but when I got to his hotel I was the only top.  He was on all fours on the bed with his face looking the other direction. The only light was the light from the bathroom with the bathroom door slightly ajar. I stripped down to just socks and my shirt and started rimming him. I asked how many loads he had in him and he said three. I wasn’t able to felch any of the loads. He just seemed “well lubed”.

Didn’t take me too long to get rock hard at which point I stood up and gently guided my PA into his hole and had him get on his belly. I could definitely feel the loads in him. His hole was nice and silky. But the problem was that my dick kept bottoming out in his ass, which meant my ring was twisting and causing me pain. I tried to see if I could just bear the pain, but finally I realized if I wanted to breed him the ring needed to come out. So I pulled out quickly, and used the pillowcase to get the ball off and the ring out of my dick.

Even before I took the ring out we started with the poz talk… “So you wanna get pozzed?” That started him begging me to poz him and asking if I was toxic, and begging for a toxic load up his ass. He wanted it pretty bad. I was telling him things like “All slutty bottoms should be poz. You know you want this…” It was really hot. Honestly it’s the sorta stuff that goes through my head most of the time when I’m fucking guys – I was just verbalizing it this time.

Needless to say it didn’t take all that long to blow a load, and the load felt really big. All that poz talk got me going.

As I washed up and got dressed he never looked back. I love the fact that he has no clue what I look like, yet he was begging me to give him a toxic load and convert him.

Of course, I have no clue if he’s actually neg. And he has no clue what my HIV status really is. It could have been all fantasy. Or it could have been real. No one really knows. But it was real in that each of our desires were out there and both of us were getting off on the risk. I feel like ARVs are like training wheels for sex these days. At least for a moment we pretended there were no training wheels…

If you’re a bug chaser (real or fantasy) and in NYC, definitely hit me up. I wanna breed you while you beg me to poz you. But offer is off the table if you’re PNPing… Real pigs don’t need drugs to have good sex.