{"id":1295,"date":"2010-02-28T23:15:22","date_gmt":"2010-03-01T04:15:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rawtop.com\/blog\/?p=1295"},"modified":"2010-03-02T21:00:31","modified_gmt":"2010-03-03T02:00:31","slug":"why-i-havent-been-fucking-much-lately","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/2010-02\/why-i-havent-been-fucking-much-lately","title":{"rendered":"Why I Haven&#8217;t Been Fucking Much Lately&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My apologies for not updating the blog with stuff that&#8217;s been going  on, but the truth of the matter is that not much has been going on &#8211;  sexually at least&#8230; Life has been a bit crazy lately on a number of  levels. Work has been busy on several fronts and I feel like I&#8217;m  constantly behind on everything. On top of that my bf and I are about to  embark on a HUGE project that&#8217;s going to consume a crazy amount of time  for up to a year (those of you who know me know what that is). So this  is just sorta early warning that I may not be fucking as much as I&#8217;d  like&#8230; Life is like that sometimes. But the end result will hopefully be VERY good.<\/p>\n<p>And in the middle of everything else I managed to get a pretty  disruptive STD that&#8217;s made it so I couldn&#8217;t fuck (ethically at least). I  noticed a little thing on my dick and then it spread to a few places on the head of my cock. I was scheduled  to see the doctor the following Tuesday so I didn&#8217;t go into the Saturday  drop-in clinic at Callen-Lorde. Then it turned out the appointment I  thought was on Tuesday was actually on a Wednesday. Then a snowstorm  came and they closed Callen-Lorde and canceled my appointment. So that  meant a week delay getting treated. Then when I went in the doctor  thought I had herpes, but then he called back saying I actually had  syphilis. I got my shot for that the day after he called (in itself a  long story that I won&#8217;t go into). Then it&#8217;s taken forever for my dick to heal and  return to looking normal. I knew everything was safely killed, but it looked  like shit. About the only type of hookup I could have done would have  been a dark room pump-and-dump.<\/p>\n<p>Oh yeah &#8211; I did finally get confirmation  that I was negative for herpes (thank god!), but only after taking Valtrex for nearly two weeks (and paying a $70 copay for the shit).<\/p>\n<p>So I haven&#8217;t been  fucking much. I was thinking of hooking up this weekend, but  between the big project and regular work, that just didn&#8217;t happen. I&#8217;m  hoping to change that in the next day or two though so hopefully I&#8217;ll have more to tell you guys soon.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;ve been trying to hookup with me, that&#8217;s why I&#8217;ve been saying &#8220;can&#8217;t hookup for a few days&#8221;. I didn&#8217;t want to say anything until it was over and things were back to normal. But I&#8217;ll definitely be wanting to do some quick and easy fucks over the next week or so to make up for lost time.<\/p>\n<p>And for the record, I think I managed to tell everyone who I could think of who might have been affected by my syphilis, and everyone who told me their results said they were neg. So I don&#8217;t seem to have passed it onto anyone (or at least not many people). But the point is STDs are a bitch but they&#8217;re also just sort of a fact of life for people who are sexually active. We need to be open and honest about them so people can get them treated and they don&#8217;t spread. Never be silent &#8211; always tell guys that they should get tested &#8211; otherwise you might wind up playing viral ping pong with them.<\/p>\n<p>The other thing I&#8217;ve been thinking is that someone really needs to come up with a nicer name for syphilis. It sounds so horrible. Gonorrhea is called &#8220;The Clap&#8221; since there was a madame named &#8220;Mother Clap&#8221; who ran a whore house in the 1800s where guys kept getting Gonorrhea. And chlamydia is just a nice name to begin with. It sounds like a flower or something. I could totally envision someone saying they gave their boyfriend or girlfriend a dozen chlamydias for Valentines Day. Herpes sounds like a Greek hero&#8230; So syphilis really needs a cute nick name to put it on par with all the other STDs&#8230; Any suggestions?<\/p>\n<p><strong>UPDATE: It Gets Worse&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So someone showed up at my door today. She asked if I was [insert my name here]. I said yes. I asked who she was and she gave her name. She asked me to confirm my date of birth so she knew I was who I said I was. I asked her who she was and she repeated her name. I clarified that I wanted to know who she was with and she refused and said she couldn&#8217;t say that before I confirmed my date of birth. We had a bit of a Catch 22. I wasn&#8217;t giving out my birth date to a stranger and she wouldn&#8217;t explain myself unless I did. She had an envelope in her hand, so I took it and opened it and saw she was from the Department of Health. I knew why she was there so I let her in the apartment.<\/p>\n<p>Since I had a positive test result DOH is required to follow up. I understand why the law exists but it&#8217;s incredibly invasive, completely frustrating, and felt like it took forever. I won&#8217;t go into every gory detail but, among other things she wanted details on everyone who I&#8217;d had sex with for months and months. I was evasive and said I didn&#8217;t know their contact details, but I also made it clear that I contacted everyone who I thought might be affected and that some of them had gotten tested and come back negative. She got the name of my boyfriend and obviously she knows his address. I told her we hadn&#8217;t had sex in a very long time but she kept going on and on about how he could have gotten it from touching me. I&#8217;m thinking if guys didn&#8217;t get it when I fucked them, what was the likelihood he got it even from touching my dick? Still, we&#8217;ll get him tested just in case. She even wanted him to get treated before the test results come back. That&#8217;s not going to happen&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>At one point she told me I shouldn&#8217;t be having sex for 6 to 8 weeks which just didn&#8217;t sound right to me. I&#8217;ve never heard anything like that. So once she was gone I looked it up and she was, indeed, wrong. According to the CDC&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Persons who receive syphilis treatment must abstain from sexual contact with new partners until the syphilis sores are completely  healed. [<a href=\"http:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/std\/syphilis\/STDFact-Syphilis.htm#cure\" target=\"_blank\">Source<\/a>]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Which is exactly what I did&#8230; Needless to say, I trust the doctors and epidemiologists writing the CDC web site way more than I trust some lowly paid DOH employee with a shit job no one else wants. And guess what, even the web site of her own agency disagrees with  her&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Don&#8217;t have sex until you &#8230; have been completely treated  and all of your symptoms have disappeared [<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nyc.gov\/html\/doh\/html\/std\/stds2.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Source<\/a>]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>All in all she was just incredibly judgmental and rude &#8211; and she didn&#8217;t even have her facts straight. She kept reiterating that from now on I&#8217;ll test positive for syphilis as if that means I&#8217;ve got an active case of it. And the idea that my bf should get treatment even before he&#8217;s tested when he&#8217;s barely touched my dick (with his hand) is just completely over the top. I kept having to remind her that while I&#8217;d put up with her doing her legal obligations, I didn&#8217;t need her to stand there and pass judgment on me and lecture me. Then she wanted me to get my sex partners to go to the DOH clinic. AS IF I want to subject them to people like her. I told her I always suggest going to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.callen-lorde.org\/\" target=\"_blank\">Callen-Lorde<\/a> &#8217;cause they&#8217;re gay friendly and non-judgmental. But it was like that wasn&#8217;t good enough for her.<\/p>\n<p>I take these things pretty seriously and to be treated like I don&#8217;t is really aggravating. I&#8217;m not a leper &#8211; I just a regular guy who got an STD. It&#8217;s not like I&#8217;m trying to spread it or anything&#8230; Weeks before she came around, and <em>hours<\/em> after I found out, I contacted people I thought should know. That should make someone like her happy, but she couldn&#8217;t even muster up a positive word about that. Hopefully she believed me and the case is closed.<\/p>\n<p>Looking back at it I think next time I&#8217;ll refuse to speak with them and say I&#8217;ll only speak with them if they send a gay man. I think a big part of what happened was homophobia on her part. A gay man would have handled the situation very differently. If the DOH comes knocking at your door, you might want to do the same thing&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Just for the hell of it, here&#8217;s a graph that shows the current &#8220;epidemic&#8221; she was telling me about. I find it fascinating that there was a huge spike around 1990 when everyone was using condoms and being very conscious of their sexual health. I also find it odd that I arrived right about that time and didn&#8217;t hear anything about it even though it&#8217;s the highest rate of infection in the past 70 years.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/rawtop.com\/resources\/2010\/02\/syphilis-nyc-1940-2009.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1302\" style=\"margin-top: 8px; margin-bottom: 8px;\" title=\"Syphilis in NYC 1940-2009\" src=\"http:\/\/rawtop.com\/resources\/2010\/02\/syphilis-nyc-1940-2009.jpg\" alt=\"Syphilis in NYC 1940-2009\" width=\"640\" height=\"375\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">So yes, since barebacking has become popular (after 1996 when protease inhibitors came out), there&#8217;s been a rise in cases. Is it an &#8220;epidemic&#8221;? Well, historically, not so much though it is going up, but the rate it&#8217;s going up is pretty slow compared to other times it&#8217;s gone up.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">One other interesting detail in the report is that most of the cases were men (which you can see above) and about 87% of the men were &#8220;MSMs&#8221; (Men who have Sex with Men). So the current rise in syphilis is a gay issue, but my guess is that that&#8217;s probably been true since at least the 70s.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My apologies for not updating the blog with stuff that&#8217;s been going on, but the truth of the matter is that not much has been going on &#8211; sexually at least&#8230; Life has been a bit crazy lately on a number of levels. Work has been busy on several fronts and I feel like I&#8217;m [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hiv-std-test"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1295"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1300,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1295\/revisions\/1300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}