{"id":156,"date":"2008-02-08T12:34:00","date_gmt":"2008-02-08T16:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rawtop.com\/blog\/?p=156"},"modified":"2008-02-08T12:34:00","modified_gmt":"2008-02-08T16:34:00","slug":"labels-necessary-evils-but-confusing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/2008-02\/labels-necessary-evils-but-confusing","title":{"rendered":"Labels – Necessary Evils, But Confusing"},"content":{"rendered":"

The other night “friend of a friend”<\/a> came over to hang out. He and my boyfriend were doing tequila shots plus drinking wine, so they were pretty drunk… Somehow the fact that I had been an escort many years ago came up. That was followed by someone labeling me a “whore” and the other person basically agreed. They didn’t mean it in the pay-for-sex literal kind of way as much as he meant to say I was a slut…<\/p>\n

But I don’t really think of myself as a “whore” or a “slut”, though I do fuck guys in dark<\/a> rooms<\/a> and anonymous sex gets my dick hard fast<\/span>… I don’t know – you guys read the blog… Am I a slut (or a whore)?<\/p>\n

Then last night when I was fucking the Brazillian guy<\/a> we got on the subject of body types. We were talking about sex parties and how there were some for “big guys”, and another one for “men” that his boyfriend went to had some guys who were overweight attending it. I mentioned that I consider myself “stocky” and want to get to the point where I’m just “beefy”, and that I didn’t know if I qualified for either “bear” or “cub” at this point. He didn’t understand the difference between stocky and beefy, so I said to me “beefy” was having a little bit of fat over your muscles but no real belly, whereas “stocky” was having a belly, and “chubby” was having a pronounced belly, and “fat” was just, well… fat…<\/p>\n

But if that’s beefy\/stocky\/chubby\/fat, where do “cubs” and “bears” fall into that picture? To me they’re partly differentiated by age, with younger guys being cubs and older guys being bears, but I also think of cubs as being somewhat leaner… I also don’t ever think of cubs as being tops, but maybe that’s just me… And to me the “ideal bear” is also hairy, and masculine. In my mind I can’t see labeling myself a cub, but I don’t think I’m heavy enough to be a bear either. I feel like I’m in between labels on this one and “stocky” is the only thing that fits. Guys who really like bears might call me a bear – but I’m definitely on the lean side of “bear”…<\/p>\n

Speaking of cubs and bears – the related label that’s pretty well defined is “otter” – a lean hairy guy who’s probably into leather.<\/p>\n

The other thing I asked the Brazilian guy was whether he’d describe me as a “dom top”. I’ve never really felt like I fit that description. I think of “dom tops” as being pretty forceful. I just manage to get my way. He thought I was pretty dominant though since I come across as pretty stern and serious. That much is about right since I don’t really want to talk or be all that affectionate until after I’ve given the bottom my load…<\/p>\n

The other label that seems pretty well defined but very few people who qualify want to embrace is “bug chaser”. I’ve had a number of guys recently who admit to being HIV negative and taking poz loads in their ass, but follow that up by “but I’m not a bug chaser”… In many cases they’re even turned on by the idea of getting a poz load and they’re excited when they find out (usually after the fact) that a load they just got in their ass is poz, but since they don’t want to become poz they don’t think of themselves as “bug chasers”. In other words, they’ve defined the “bug chaser” label as someone who wants to become poz – they don’t want to become poz, they just want the thrill of getting poz cum in their ass, so they think they’re not a bug chaser. Umm… “distinction without a difference”? At the same time I know exactly what they mean.<\/p>\n

And for god’s sake “VGL<\/abbr>” has got to be the worst label of all… I mean beauty is in the eye of the beholder, some may say bears are “VGL”, where others would think the same bear is a disgusting old guy…<\/p>\n

Labels are a funny thing… Can’t live without them, but they often raise more questions than they answer…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The other night “friend of a friend” came over to hang out. He and my boyfriend were doing tequila shots plus drinking wine, so they were pretty drunk… Somehow the fact that I had been an escort many years ago came up. That was followed by someone labeling me a “whore” and the other person […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}