{"id":2181,"date":"2013-05-06T08:04:55","date_gmt":"2013-05-06T13:04:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rawtop.com\/blog\/?p=2181"},"modified":"2013-05-06T08:04:55","modified_gmt":"2013-05-06T13:04:55","slug":"suggestion-for-sub-bottoms-offer-more-than-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/2013-05\/suggestion-for-sub-bottoms-offer-more-than-sex","title":{"rendered":"Suggestion For Sub Bottoms – Offer More Than Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"

The other day I got to thinking… I was wiped and just wanted to relax. Mentally I was a bit horny, but just didn’t have the energy for sex. All I wanted right at that moment was a good massage. The funny part is that if a submissive bottom had given me a massage in the process of unwinding I probably would have gotten a hardon and a 2nd wind and would have wound up fucking him and giving him a load. But the idea that the fuck and the load were expected<\/em> of me made me not want to deal with bottoms who were looking to get fucked.<\/p>\n

And really, I think most sub bottoms have forgotten what it means to be submissive. They equate submissive with passive. Submissiveness is about service – meeting the needs of your top at the expense of your own needs and desires. In my experience there are a lot of passive bottoms out there, but very few truly submissive ones. Or maybe I just don’t communicate that I want more than a fuck. Still, if a bottom started giving me a massage when we were having a quiet moment – would I stop him? Absolutely not.<\/p>\n

The thing is, it’s more than saying “I’ll give you a massage”. It’s about there being zero pressure for sex. You may hope for sex, but you shouldn’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen.<\/p>\n

On a similar note I spent Sunday cleaning our place. A sub bottom texted me in the middle of it. I told him I was cleaning. He made it clear he’d be up for coming over and helping with cleaning. But he didn’t make it clear that he’d be OK with just<\/em> helping with cleaning. I got the impression that he’d trade cleaning for sex. That’s not submissiveness. If he had made it clear that he’d be happy just cleaning, I might have said “come over”. And if he had played his cards right – say stripping down and cleaning in the nude – then he might have gotten fucked. But\u00a0I wasn’t looking for a “fuck the houseboy” scene. I had to get the cleaning done.<\/p>\n

So my advice to true submissive bottoms is stop looking for sex. Instead ask yourself what the top needs in that moment and give him that. Sure, do it in a way that may lead to sex, but don’t focus on the sex. In the process I think you’ll get plenty of sex and you’ll probably find a boyfriend\/SIR in the process since you’ll be more than a fuckhole to the top.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The other day I got to thinking… I was wiped and just wanted to relax. Mentally I was a bit horny, but just didn’t have the energy for sex. All I wanted right at that moment was a good massage. The funny part is that if a submissive bottom had given me a massage in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2181"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2182,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2181\/revisions\/2182"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}