{"id":258,"date":"2008-06-27T07:41:00","date_gmt":"2008-06-27T11:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rawtop.com\/blog\/?p=258"},"modified":"2008-06-27T07:41:00","modified_gmt":"2008-06-27T11:41:00","slug":"get-tested","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/2008-06\/get-tested","title":{"rendered":"GET TESTED!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Today is &#8220;National HIV Testing Day&#8221;, so I&#8217;ll give my pitch on HIV testing &#8211; which won&#8217;t be quite what you hear from others&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>For the most part, <a href=\"http:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/2008\/02\/who-is-actually-dying-of-aids-these.html\">the people who die of AIDS these days are people who don&#8217;t get tested<\/a> and don&#8217;t find out they&#8217;re poz until it&#8217;s too late for treatments to be effective. There&#8217;s no need for those deaths&#8230; None whatsoever.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re worried what it will mean to test positive &#8211; give up that fear and go get tested. Becoming HIV positive today is not the death sentence it once was. In fact, there&#8217;s a good chance you&#8217;ll die of something else &#8211; like old age or in a car accident or something. But that&#8217;s not the case if you don&#8217;t get tested. Then the chances are you will die of AIDS.<\/p>\n<p>In other words &#8211; don&#8217;t be afraid of HIV, be afraid of not knowing your poz.<\/p>\n<p>You don&#8217;t have to get tested every 3 or 6 months unless you want to. The goal here is to catch your HIV before it starts doing really nasty shit to your body. You&#8217;re <span style=\"font-style: italic;\">probably<\/span> fine if you catch it within a year of infection &#8211; but definitely don&#8217;t wait more than 2 years between tests. There are strains of HIV that are more aggressive than others that need to be treated fairly quickly.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">If it&#8217;s been more than a year since you had an HIV test, get tested this week&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Last night when I was laying on the floor playing with my dog I noticed a book on my shelf &#8211; &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Epitaphs-Living-Words-Images-Time\/dp\/0870742892\" target=\"amazon\" rel=\"nofollow\">Epitaphs for the Living<\/a>&#8220;. It was published in 1989 and I bought it shortly after I came out. It&#8217;s an incredibly somber book. Has pictures of people with AIDS with their hand written notes below the picture. I want to quote from some of them&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s a picture of two guys sitting on a bed. One has his arm around the other&#8230; Each gave their perspective, but one is especially poignant&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Life is such a precious gift! It has been very hard to watch life melt away from the one I love and I can do nothing but be there and love him with all my heart. I love you Pat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Another picture is of a guy in a turtle neck most guys would say was pretty hot&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Thank you, Billy, for a beautiful photograph. Its how I want to be remembered; happy, attractive, self satisifid and content with lie. But in many ways the photo doesn&#8217;t look like me. <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t show the K.S. lesions growing on my face + body. <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t show that I am half blind <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t show the fact that I&#8217;ve had 3 bouts of Pneumocystis Pneumonia in the past year and a half <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t show the fear I have of what may happen to my health either tomorrow or 6 months down the road <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t show the sadness, not only my own, but the sadness I feel every time I walk down the street and see friends and acquaintances who have been diagnosed. <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t show the anger I feel at having about 1\/2 of my life whipped out from under my feet at the age of 30. <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t show the great discontent and anger I have form our government for having ignored this epidemic for so long while people were dying in every city in our country. <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t show the great amount of love + compassion I feel from my family, community + friends. <span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">&middot;<\/span> And most of all it doesn&#8217;t show the tremendous need for all sexually active people to learn about AIDS to protect themselves and their loved ones so the y won&#8217;t have to go through my pain or the pain of so many others who have gone before me and will continue to go after me.<\/p>\n<p>David Brewster<br \/>San Francisco, CA<br \/>Diagnosed Oct 31, 1986<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Then there&#8217;s a photo of a guy sitting in a barber&#8217;s chair in what looks like the middle of a living room or sun porch. He looks about 40&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Sometimes I find myself siting all alone wondering, after two years since diagnosis, where I will find the strength to continue to live with AIDS. I think living with AIDS can be the hardest part, not the dieing [sic].<\/p>\n<p>Johnnie<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Then there&#8217;s a picture of a black man looking out a window at a hospital. He&#8217;s wearing a denim jacket and glasses&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Being tested HIV positive has not been easy. You can&#8217;t really set any goals, except to thank God for letting you see the breaking of a new day, a day that none of us have ever seen before. I take one day at a time and hope for the next day&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Jim<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Then there&#8217;s a picture of a very weak looking guy named Dave in a hospital bed. His friend\/lover is at the end of the room looking out the window&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I just wanted to say how scared I was, I&#8217;m so sick of being sick I can&#8217;t stand it. The cancer on my skin has gotten so bad I&#8217;m afraid to be seen in public. I thank God for the support of all my friends especially Ernie and Michael and to know that they are there. It&#8217;s just sometimes for me it&#8217;s hard. Its hard being the one that&#8217;s always smiling and saying everything is okay. Sometimes I feel like its not okay. After working all the years I&#8217;ve worked I finally made a name for myself. It&#8217;s all taken away. I don&#8217;t want to have to settle for that. People say you should be happy to be alive. This to me is not living. But I&#8217;ll be okay. I&#8217;ll go to sleep and wake up tomorrow and everything will be fine again.<\/p>\n<p>When I found I had AIDS it didn&#8217;t bother me as far as knowing I was going to die. Dieing doesn&#8217;t scare me, but leaving my friends did. I was always afraid of what was going to happen. I guess I was still scared&#8230;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Dave died before the book was published. His friends transcribed his words from audio cassette.<\/p>\n<p>Which reminds me, one of the things I wish I had done before my lover died was to record his voice. I&#8217;ve forgotten what his voice sounded like&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Damn&#8230; I&#8217;m sitting here barely able to see the screen through my tears. All of you guys <a href=\"http:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/2008\/06\/safe-sex-guy-goes-off-on-me-on-manhunt.html\">who think I don&#8217;t remember what it was like<\/a> &#8211; that I&#8217;m somehow spitting on the graves of those who died &#8211; fuck you. I do remember. It&#8217;s just things are very different now. Very very different.<\/p>\n<p>That was a time of death. Now we&#8217;re in a time of living. A lot of people who went through that are still very angry and their fears about things like HIV are very deep seated. I get that &#8211; this post has been really difficult to write because I went through it too.<\/p>\n<p>While things have changed, if you don&#8217;t get tested your experience will be like the guys above rather than the healthy poz guys you see around you living normal lives.<\/p>\n<p>Please get tested&#8230; Know your HIV status so you can live a long healthy life&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today is &#8220;National HIV Testing Day&#8221;, so I&#8217;ll give my pitch on HIV testing &#8211; which won&#8217;t be quite what you hear from others&#8230; For the most part, the people who die of AIDS these days are people who don&#8217;t get tested and don&#8217;t find out they&#8217;re poz until it&#8217;s too late for treatments to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hiv-std-test","category-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=258"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}