{"id":830,"date":"2009-05-25T22:17:04","date_gmt":"2009-05-26T03:17:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rawtop.com\/blog\/?p=830"},"modified":"2009-05-27T09:21:12","modified_gmt":"2009-05-27T14:21:12","slug":"tsa-my-sex-toy-is-a-weapon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/2009-05\/tsa-my-sex-toy-is-a-weapon","title":{"rendered":"TSA: My Sex Toy Is A Weapon"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m home (finally), but a frustrating and funny thing happened at the airport. I’ll update this with pictures tomorrow, but they saw a big black spot on the xray and wanted to see inside my carry-on bag. It was chock full of sex toys and leather gear. The big black spot were big padlocks I took with me (pic below). But there were leather collars, restraints, floggers (wrapped in a towel that said BarebackRT CUM RAG), etc.<\/p>\n

\"Big<\/p>\n

As soon as the guy pulled me over I said “I’m coming from and S\/M conference. I apologize for what’s in the bag”. He was good about it though, he found the padlocks but then inspected the rest of the contents and came across a small billy club – maybe 8 or 9 inches in length (see pic below). He said he had to check to see if it would be considered a weapon. Turns out his boss had zero sense of humor and declared it a weapon. That meant the Chicago Police had to be called. When they got there the officer asking me questions didn’t know what S\/M was – I had to explain it to him.<\/p>\n

\"Small<\/p>\n

I’m sure they all thought I was a freak, but I just squared my shoulders, looked them in the face and answered their questions in a friendly manner. That got me some credit. Instead of escalating it, they realized I was pretty harmless. They still had to run a check on me and write up a report.<\/p>\n

The funniest part was they were all handling the little billy club having no clue I stick it up guys butts. If they had known that, I think they would have dropped it like a hot potato. One of the officers asked another one, “what does he use that for?” and the other officer said “I don’t even<\/em> want to know…” Indeed, he didn’t want to know. So there was a humorous aspect to it, though I couldn’t enjoy it too much given that they were watching my every move.<\/p>\n

The guy who initially pulled me over was super nice about everything. I didn’t have a key to lock my carry on, so he went out of his way to find some tape to put around the bag. He even told me about a security check point that had no lines so I could get to my flight on-time. And United handled it perfectly as well. When I came back and said the TSA was making me check the bag they put me to the front of the line and didn’t charge me for the extra bag.<\/p>\n

It was a huge hassle and rattled me a bit, but in hindsight it was pretty funny. It reminds me of when I went to Puerto Rico years ago with a sand-filled leather ball stretcher in my bag. The security guy pulled it out and studied it for several minutes and finally asked “what’s this for?” I said “you don’t want to know” and he just dropped it back into my bag and told me to have a nice day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m home (finally), but a frustrating and funny thing happened at the airport. I’ll update this with pictures tomorrow, but they saw a big black spot on the xray and wanted to see inside my carry-on bag. It was chock full of sex toys and leather gear. The big black spot were big padlocks I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[123],"class_list":["post-830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny","tag-iml-2009"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/830","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=830"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/830\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":841,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/830\/revisions\/841"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=830"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=830"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rawtop.com\/sex\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=830"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}