"It’s kinda a non-issue to me"
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6 March 2008 | 5 Comments
First the good news (since I don’t want it lost in the middle of the post)… Once again I tested HIV negative. (Any neg, STD-free bottoms want a load from a recently tested top?)
However… The day after my last hookup it became abundantly clear that I had gonorrhea. It’s a pain in the ass (or dick in my case), but it happens. Like a good responsible top I contacted everyone who might have possibly gotten it from me (or who might have possibly given it to me) – five of them in all (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)…
I’ve had clap once (or twice?) in the past, but this time it was really pretty gross… Produced a lot of discharge and was really painful (not just when I was pissing). Unfortunately I had to wait until Monday to get things cleared up.
Then I got a message on Sunday from a hot guy who wanted to hookup. I told him I couldn’t – that I needed to clear up an STD – get back to me in a week… That was in the morning. In the evening he writes me and says…
u just have the clap. its kinda a non issue to me, i can get penicillin too. tonight perhaps?
My jaw dropped… I mean this wasn’t some skanky drugged out cumdump… This was the type of guy I would go out of my way to fuck – he really was pretty hot and totally my type…
Let’s put aside for the moment the medical issues of getting and STD. How does he think it’s worth it to have a quick hookup that requires him to spend hours going to a clinic, waiting, seeing a doctor, and getting a shot? I mean, in the least, it’s a significant inconvenience. It’s one thing when it’s an accident, but to willingly do a hookup knowing you’ll get gonorrhea is something completely different.
Lately I seem to be encountering more and more guys who are just being reckless/careless… Barebacking isn’t inherently reckless – you can be completely sober, and purposeful and still have a great time being a total pig. It’s just sad to see guys spiraling… I’ve always been a bit of a control freak, so it just doesn’t make sense to me…
So I went in Monday night to get things “fixed”. They did a quick HIV test and it came back negative, as I expected. The HIV counselor was great. The doctor doing the other tests was a bit old school. He gave me a lecture on how I should use condoms, and insisted on testing my butt for stuff despite the fact I told him nothing goes in there… And then he gave me prescriptions for STDs I didn’t have assuming if I had one STD, I must have 35 others. Whatever… Got my shot and everything has cleared up…
So guys – please take STDs seriously… Get yourself tested regularly, go to a clinic when you think you might have something, and notify your partners when you find out you do have something. ‘Cause frankly – our time is better spent fucking than waiting at clinics to get rid of STDs.
Pardon my ignorance if I’m way off here, but isn’t it true that an HIV test needs to be six months from your last possible exposure in order to be fully accurate?
benjamin – I said I tested negative. That and the fact that I consistently test negative while I’m a bareback top means I’m pretty confident I actually am negative. But yes, there are no guarantees (but that’s typical of life in general).
The 6 month thing is a half-truth put out by people who want you to live in fear. The test is 90% accurate after 2 or 3 weeks, 95% accurate after about a month, 99% accurate after 3 months, and fully accurate after 6 months.
Thing is only nuns have zero sexual activity in 6 months, so the test is never fully accurate for anyone. So 90%+ accuracy after a few weeks is basically accurate.
Those same people who quote the 6 month thing, also never tell you that condoms fail 5 to 10% of the time. Their fear uncertainty and doubt (FUD) tactics are selective.
Thanks – just so you know, I’m not trying to be argumentative, just trying to stay informed.
Rawtop,
It’s not surprising that guys are acting more and more reckless, and being more and more lax about STDs. Barebacking is becoming – possibly, has become – the predominant erotic stimuli. When those budding gay teens start looking at gay porn online, they see barebacking. When adults look for gay porn online, they see barebacking. Seems like more and more gay online sex outlets, from hookup sites to porn to blogs, are devoted to and eroticize barebacking. Maybe if there were the equivalent of cigarette pack warning labels – like photos of facial wasting, lipodystrophy, anal warts, etc – when you enter these sites and every few clicks, there would be a teeny bit more thought about the ramifications of barebacking. But right now, it’s all about barebacking. That’s all they see, all they know. So it’s sadly no surprise people just ain’t caring too much. I do hope safer sex is eroticized on a larger and more effective level (thanks Chi Chi LaRue!) and perhaps things will change a bit… Meanwhile we just have to do our part to not enable that reckless behavior.
ewelthorpe – I think meth and other drugs are the primary problem – not barebacking itself. It’s one thing to do some light drugs where you stay pretty much in control. It’s another to do something like meth that gets you to do things you wouldn’t have done otherwise…