Load 2015-22

Since I didn’t cum the last two nights in Montréal, and was too tired to go out last night after driving back, (and I still had Cialis in my system), I figured I’d look online for hole to dump in. Within minutes of logging into BarebackRT I had a cumhole in the neighborhood hitting me up saying he wanted to get fucked.

So I headed over. Took me about 10 minutes to walk there. When I got there I rang the bell but there was answer. I started to pull out my phone to login and see if he had left a message when this black guy answered the door and told me to come through. When we got to the apartment he told me it was his apartment, but it was his buddy who hit me up. Which was good, ’cause the black guy wasn’t anything like the bottom I was expecting on fucking. I was actually a bit confused when he let me in. I was thinking to myself, “I didn’t think the guy was black…”

Anyway, two of them there with huge dildos on the floor and porn playing on the TV – I figured it was a PNP scene, but the guys didn’t seem high and there was plenty of light in the apartment (meth heads usually have really dark apartments). So it seemed PNP-like, but more sane than most PNP scenes I’ve encountered.

The bottom was an average Latino with a nice skinny(ish) body. He sucked me until I got hard and then bent over for me. I fucked him a little bent over and then had him get on his belly on the couch. The black guy was on the floor jacking his dick, but both of them had soft dicks, which makes me think maybe it was a PNP scene. If it was I didn’t want to know. I just wanted to fuck, cum and leave.

I fucked him for a little while. The black guy felt up my ass while I was fucking the bottom, but not so much that it was distracting. Finally I felt my orgasm coming and I blew a huge load. I could feel several fairly big squirts come out. I mean I’d fucked 10 guys a few nights before without cumming and generally been horny since then, so all that edging had built up a nice big load.

I then washed off my dick in the bathroom sink and pulled on my shorts (the only thing I’d taken off) and I left. The black guy said something like “you’re leaving already” – which was understandable since I had only gotten there 7 minutes earlier. Maybe he wanted to play with me – I’m not sure. But I just wanted to cum and go. I felt a little bad for him since he was hosting, but now he had a cummy hole to play with… I did give him that much… 😉

I got back to my place just 31 minutes after I had left and that included a stop at the Post Office on the way home to pick up mail. I wish sex every day could be that easy. It took almost no time to find the bottom, and the actual hookup went about as quick as humanly possible, and I even managed to pick up the mail in the process. Not bad!

So between fucking the little muscular Latino those two times there were two weeks when I either couldn’t have sex or just wasn’t really in the mood to have sex. NYC got hit with  hurricane and we had a bunch of people from “SoPo” (South of Power) staying with us. Between that and the subways not running most of that time, hooking up was pretty much impossible. Then there was a week where I didn’t really feel like fucking.

Anyway, about a week ago I did a hookup. First one guy wanted to come over – someone I’ve seen online for years and thought would be a good fuck. But then this vers guy from the neighborhood wanted to come over too. The guy from the neighborhood was beefy and I wasn’t sure whether I was really in the mood for beefy… Actually, I hadn’t taken a pill of any sort, and was only sorta in the mood to hookup. But it had been 10 days since I’d fucked anyone and I felt like that was too long and I should fuck someone. Long story short I told both of them to come over. I figured me and the beefy guy would fuck the other guy.

The beefy guy arrived first. We started playing around, and one thing lead to another and then I was rimming him, and then fucking him… He was actually a pretty good fuck – much better than I had anticipated. Then the other guy texted saying he was off the subway and close by, so I stopped fucking the beefy guy and prepared for the other guy.

The second guy wanted an anonymous scene where he was blindfolded. So I put a leather “sleeping mask” sort of thing on the door knob just inside the front door. When he rang I buzzed him in and then watched him discreetly as he put on the blindfold. When he had it on I guided him (carefully) to the bedroom.

I should mention that the blindfolded bottom didn’t exactly look like his pictures. I should have expected as much – the pics he was using were the ones he used years ago. Honestly, he just wasn’t what I was hoping for / expecting. I fucked the blindfolded bottom, the beefy guy fucked him. But the chemistry was lacking. It wound up with me wanting to fuck the beefy guy but there was another bottom laying there expecting attention. The beefy guy was having “performance issues”. I could tell from the look in his eyes he didn’t really want the blindfolded bottom there – he (also) wanted a 1-on-1 with me.

After a while I just sorta lost it and couldn’t get hard enough to fuck, and the beefy guy got the same way. We tried, but it just wasn’t working. Even with his blindfold on, the other bottom got the picture, so he took the blindfold off and we wrapped things up, got dressed and they went on their way.

As they were leaving I started feeling weird. I felt “foggy” – like I couldn’t remember everything I should be able to remember and just a little disoriented. If I focused on something (like the situation at hand), I could get through it, but I just didn’t feel “sharp” and alert – at all. There are a few possibilities… Maybe one of them gave themselves a booty bump and I ingested some of what they had up their butt. When I googled the symptoms I came up with a “Transient Ischemic Attack”. I have high blood pressure and heart-related things are an issue (long term), but that didn’t quite seem right either. Then I realized I hadn’t eaten much of anything. After eating some food I felt better an hour or two later. So who knows what the issue was – but it was a very weird and memorable ending to a not-so-great hookup.

Load 2012-48

Monday MascMountainMan hit me up on Breeding Zone saying he was going to be in town, did I want to go out for a beer? He’s someone I’d chatted with and he had seemed like a decent guy. He’s versatile, but not my type – he’s taller than me and stocky. But I figured he might want to tag a bottom with me. The black bottom from the neighborhood who I fuck pretty regularly likes white guys, so and when he’s in town he’ll come just about anytime you text him, so I set things up to have  3way with the two of them.

The black guy got here first and went into the bathroom to clean up or something. I gave him a thick spandex hood with a mouth opening and no eyes. I just wanted him to be a piece of meat that the two of us shared. I didn’t want the bottom’s personality to come into play. The visitor got here a few minutes later – while the black cumhole was still in the bathroom. It was a little awkward meeting him for the first time and jumping right into sex, but that’s exactly what we did…

I guided the black guy out of the bathroom with his hood on (he didn’t need to see who was fucking him). And the two of us stripped down. The visitor was sporting a thick boner, so he went first. He had the bottom on the edge of the bed and was fucking him pretty rough. It was actually causing the bed to slide across the room.

He took a break and I took my turn. I had my big 9mm PA ring in (bigger than 0 gauge, smaller than 00). I tried to push the ring in, but it was really hard. Finally I got it in, but it was causing me a fair amount of pain since I haven’t been wearing that ring enough for my piercing to quite get used to it yet. I wasn’t comfortable with the pain, so I pulled out, took out the ring and pushed back in.

I know myself well enough that when I can cum I do. So I just fucked the bottom for a few minutes and dumped my load. I figured the other top would like using my cum for lube. I didn’t dump the load very deep – when I came I had him on his belly with his legs together so his sphincter was massaging the head of my dick. But the load didn’t spill out – so that was good…

I think I was the visitor’s type, and the bottom-du-jour just didn’t do it for him. He tried to get hard enough to fuck again, but it just wasn’t working for him. Later in the evening he told me how he gets into guys with beards, and I think he mentioned that he likes guys who are a little stocky (I was drunk when he said it, so don’t remember exactly what he said – but I remember thinking, ‘So, I’m your type…’) And it sorta fit with how things were going for him in the minute.

What he seemed to like most was watching the bottom suck my dick – he liked that more than having the bottom suck his dick. I think I was what turned him on (though not enough to get hard enough to fuck the bottom). And in his defense he had to get up at 3am that morning – so he was dead tired. I know I can’t perform very well when I’m tired…

Anyway, we finally wound things up with the bottom. Before he left the bottom came out to see the other top and be seen by the top. Turns out the bottom had lived in the same city as the visitor currently lives so they had a bit in common.

Then I spent the rest of the evening eating and drinking with the visitor. He was a great guy. I got totally sloshed and the visitor had even more to drink than I did, but it was fun.

The morning after the good gangbang I was laying in bed, horny, looking at BarebackRT. Given that I had cum about 12 hours before I wasn’t completely certain I could cum if I hooked up, but I figured ‘what the heck’… This guy hit me up. He looked like a decent anonymous pump-n-dump and he said he was up for coming over to my hotel. Right before he was supposed to leave he asked if he could bring a buddy (who turned out to be his boyfriend). He said I could fuck both of them. I wasn’t sure I was I was up for a 3way, but the guy looked hot enough, so I said yes.

When they got there the boyfriend was totally my type – quite short, lean build, great ass, slightly hairy, bald with a goatee – very masculine despite being short. I like little guys, but I haven’t really ever thought of bald white guys with goatees as “my type” – but this guy totally was my type. I was actually a bit surprised by how smitten I was by him. And the feelings seemed mutual – we were both all smiles.

And that’s sorta the awkward part about 3ways – when there’s one guy who’s totally your type and another who pales in comparison. It’s not like the one who hit me up was unattractive – on his own he would have been a perfectly respectable trick. It was just given the choice I’d much rather have sex with his boyfriend.

The little guy was standing next to me and we started playing first. He sucked my dick while me and the taller guy felt each other up, etc. I fucked the little guy for a bit, while he gave his boyfriend a blowjob. Then I felt like I had to pay some attention to the taller guy… I fucked him on his back, it went well (and that’s the point – 1-on-1 with him things would have been fine), then I went back to fucking the little guy until he couldn’t seem to take it any more.

Hookups for me are a bit routine in part because I need certain things to get me off. One of those is that I need to concentrate. When the taller guy was shoving his dick in my face wanting a blowjob that was a bit too much. I can’t fuck and suck dick at the same time. I need to concentrate on fucking. And with two guys there I never could concentrate properly on the job at hand.

Plus, with cumming 12 hours before cumming wasn’t going to be easy. So when the little guy couldn’t take the fuck anymore that sorta ended things for me. We sat on the bed and jacked our dicks a bit, but then the taller guy said it was time to go and they left.

It’s too bad. The timing was bad with me cumming 12 hours before. And it could have been a respectable 1-on-1 hookup with either of them, but the stars didn’t align that morning, and so none of us came… 🙁

I woke up earlier than I wanted to on Sunday, but then tried to stay in bed and rest. When I did finally get up my bottom and I went to breakfast. It was better than the day before – the eggs weren’t runny and the hot food was actually hot (and it was free for me since I had bought the weekend pass).

When we got back to the room I thought it was odd that tops would come to the door hoping to fuck the bottom and he’d answer the door and say he wasn’t up for being fucked. His rib was still hurting from the rough fuck at the gangbang the prior day, but I got the sense that it was more than that.

Then he mentioned that the hot vers top jock who was at the gangbang wanted to come and “hang out” with us. He then mentioned that he had stayed up late IMing him and had been IMing in the morning as well. I could tell he was infatuated with him. Honestly, I think it’s great if a cumdump finds a gangbang top and falls in love. It’s sorta the perfect combination. Far better than meeting someone socially who’s going to freak out when they find out you like being an anonymous bareback gangbang bottom.

I said yes to the guy coming over, but I was apprehensive. There were a number of scenarios where it could work out great, and a few that would be a problem. It would have worked if he had come over, thrown the bottom on the bed, fucked him, and then spent the afternoon hunting for more tops to fuck the bottom. Or since he’s vers, maybe he’d spend the afternoon taking loads with my bottom – that would have been cool too… But there was something in the bottom’s eyes that worried me – love.

The guy came over and I was busy writing up the first blog post about Friday night. They laid on the bed and talked and sometimes would involve me in the discussion, but then things got more intense between them. They were kissing and cuddling and making out… Frankly, it was just the wrong time and place for that. I got to the end of my blog post and wondered what in the fuck I was supposed to do. It wasn’t comfortable sitting in the chair and I really wanted to be doing some filming – that was one of my primary objectives for the weekend and I hadn’t done any of it yet.

There was an older bottom online who wanted to come over and was up for being videotaped. I pushed him off a bit thinking I’d give the two love birds time to finish what they started, but when the bottom showed up they were taking things so slow they had just gotten naked and were getting ready to fuck. The trick took off his clothes and the two of them on the bed suddenly realized that it wasn’t just about the two of them any more. “My bottom” (I’m using those words loosely) asked “Should we leave” and I just said “Yeah”. I was fuming by this point because things had gotten so awkward. They got their clothes on while I got the camera and lights ready and then they left.

I had an interesting hookup with the trick in which I fisted him. It was my first time fisting and I got totally boned doing it – but I’ll save that for a separate blog post.

When the trick was gone I texted “my bottom” and told him I wanted to talk face to face. He was eating and got there like 30 minutes later. We had what I thought was a really good, honest talk. A lot of issues came out and I thought everything was back on track by the end of it.

A little after we were done talking this young sub texted me. He’d been wanting to hookup for a while and it just hadn’t happened, and he was interested in having sex with both me and “my bottom” even though he swore he was neg and he knew “my bottom” was a cum dump.

“My bottom” started cleaning up a bit (said it was in preparation for the gangbang), and then the young sub bottom showed up. He liked being a puppy and started nuzzling his head on my belly and getting me to pet him. He was really sweet and while he wasn’t very verbal, he did a fair amount of non-verbal communication (“my bottom” could have learned a lot from the kid). The young sub started sucking my dick and I got “my bottom” to come over and the puppy seemed really excited to service him.

I got behind the puppy and he pulled down his pants and exposed his hole for me. Then he took off his pants and shoes completely as it got more serious. I fucked him a bit, but the position was a little awkward. I knew the perfect position would be doggy style (how appropriate) with the puppy on all fours, one of us behind and one of us on his knees in front. So I got up and figured I’d switch with “my bottom”. I got on my knees and got the puppy on all fours and “my bottom” started to fuck him. It seemed like just a minute or two later when “my bottom” announced he was really close and about to blow his load. I just asked “so you’re going to lube his hole for me?”, and then he blew his load up the puppy’s ass. [The sub bottom knew it was happening, knew he was about to take a load from a cumhole bottom and didn’t do anything to say or indicate ‘no’.]

Then “my bottom” went back to cleaning up the room as I fucked the puppy’s now cummy hole. At least that’s what I thought he was doing.

I was having a great time with the puppy – I loved how submissive he was. I had put a collar on him early on, and then he picked a hood and put that on (he LOVED hoods). I fucked him for quite a while but never did cum. The odd part was that he seemed a little hesitant to take my (neg) load, even though he had been fine taking “my bottom’s” poz load. When I had him on his back he’d stiffen his legs which made it difficult to really fuck him. It’s not like that’s puppy play – if you’ve ever seen a dog roll on his back and be submissive their legs are never straight.

We had a good session that was really tender and intimate. I loved how tactile he was to the point where I’d really love to do more puppy play (hint, hint to any of you in the NY area who identify as puppies).

I tried to get “my bottom” to get back into the play, but he resisted. I suggested having the puppy rim his hole (dogs like ass, right?), but he wasn’t even willing to do that.

As we were winding up “my bottom” left and said he was going downstairs for a drink or something. I was still concentrating on the puppy and didn’t really think twice about it. I asked him to do final approvals for the gangbang and send out the final e-mail with details, which he did before he left.

The puppy took off his hood which was his non-verbal signal that he was done. I took off his collar releasing him and he got ready and went. He had told me that the load he got from “my bottom” was his first one at MAL. I asked him how MAL was going for him and he said something like “it’s going great now” and then rubbed his head in my lap. I was seriously falling for the pup… He said he’d try to come to the gangbang. He’d mentioned hed’ be up for it previously as long as he was hooded since he didn’t want anyone to recognize him.

Then he left and I went and had dinner and a beer with Jayson Park. (Actually, he didn’t have dinner – just drank a beer while he watched me eat).

Then I went back up to the room to prep for the gangbang and “my bottom” wasn’t back and he hadn’t responded to a couple of text messages I had sent. Then about 30 minutes before the gangbang was supposed to start I noticed that his stuff was missing. While I had been fucking the puppy he had packed up and left. How he could sit there and do the final approvals and sent out the confirmation for the gangbang when he knew he was leaving is beyond me.

Later I found he had sent me an e-mail after he left…

On my way back to NYC via train. I just needed to leave…

Thanks for letting me join you this weekend.  Had a blast.

That e-mail sorta sums up his contradictions. He had a great time, but he had to leave without saying anything.

There’s so much I could say about him, but it would all be conjecture. I really don’t feel like I understand him much at all. I know deep down he’s a good guy, but he seems horribly conflicted. I’ve seen his personal Facebook page and in his profile pic he’s this completely normal, happy regular gay guy. But then he likes to get gangbanged, but then he also seems to have issues with getting gangbanged. He seems like he’s got a lot to work out, and I hope for his sake he gets to the bottom of it all.

With everything that had already happened that day I wasn’t really looking forward to the gangbang anyway. I knew Jayson was headed off drinking for the evening so after sending out a cancellation notice on BBRT, I called him up and we went out to the Eagle and then to the Reaction dance party later that night (but that’s another blog post).

And a couple postscripts to this post…

First, when it was done the day was actually a good day. I fisted someone for the first time, and found I really love playing with puppies, and Jayson and I had fun when we went out and a good fuck when we got back. So yeah, there was drama, but the sum total of the day was really good.

Second, the sub bottom texted me later and asked what “my bottom’s” HIV status was. Silly boy. I reiterated what I told him before – that the guy had taken 15 loads so far during the weekend and then later told him the load was “undetectable” but that if he was concerned he should be more careful and tell his limits to his tops. Personally, I think the sub bottom is doing a weird form of bug chasing where he puts himself in situations where he will take poz cum, but he does it in a way which is completely submissive so it’s done to him rather than him actively doing it – which sorta fits with his submissiveness. From my perspective I knew “my bottom” was on meds so there was almost a zero chance the sub bottom would get pozzed.

This past Monday I was pretty horny and kept looking at the hookup sites during the day. One of the guys who works for me (porn name Brad Ramsey – he’s only done photos so far – no video) was over and I figured I’d hookup after he left for the day. I took part of a pill and the funny part was my boyfriend told me I looked flushed and asked if I were hot. I didn’t want to discuss the fact that I was planning on hooking up in front of Brad, so I just brushed off the comment.

One of the guys who was looking to hookup was the guy who had 3 tops over and then came before the tops got off. I wouldn’t have really bothered with him except for the fact that Brad told me a while back that the guy was one of his friends/fuck buds, so I figured maybe we could do a 3way… I first checked with the bottom and he seemed up for it – sorta maybe. I’ll sorta cut to the chase and say he was non-committal and seemed a bit flakey. But then I asked Brad about it and long story short he convinced the guy to come over. (By this time my bf had left for work).

The bottom arrived and for reasons I won’t go into I figured we’d hookup in the bedroom we use as an office. There’s no bed there, so I went and got a towel, poppers and lube so we could do it on the floor… Brad stripped down and I was surprised – he had a THICK cock. The two of them were totally into each other – you could tell they liked each other and had good sexual chemistry. I figured I’d concentrate on the bottom’s ass, so I rimmed him a bit.

When I was hard and he was wet I lubed up some more and started fucking him. I did notice that he jacked his cock constantly and I was worried there would be a repeat of last time where he would come before we would and that would be the end of it. But I figured Brad knew him well enough to prevent that, so I didn’t say anything.

Then we swapped and Brad fucked him. Then someone suggested he get double fucked. So I laid on my back, the bottom sat on my dick, and then Brad got behind him and pushed in. I swear the bottom was really irritating me by this point. He didn’t seem to understand the fact that if he went forward I’d pull out of his ass. I had to push back on his hips with all my might to keep my dick in him.

Meanwhile he’s jacking his dick and then he cums and wants it to stop! Brad and I looked at each other with this “you gotta be kidding” sort of expressions on our face. But that was it.

Needless to say, there won’t be a 3rd time with that bottom. I might make an exception if Brad presents the bottom with his hands tied in a way that he can’t jack off, but seriously – I’m so over fucking him. He’s literally oblivious to the fact that the top needs to enjoy the hookup as well.

So that was over and everyone left and I was looking for someone to fuck. I didn’t really feel like traveling – at least not very far. Eventually a guy wanted to hookup who I’d hooked up with a few times before. He’s an interesting case… I won’t go into that much detail but lets just say there are things about our lives that are similar to the point that I even introduced him to my bf earlier this year and then we ran into him again later. I should also mention that thanks to the fact that there’s way too much information about people online I’m pretty sure the downturn in the economy has hit him pretty hard.

So I go down to his place, but by this time I haven’t eaten enough and I’m starting to get a little headachey. On top of that I left quickly and forgot to bring my cockring. It wouldn’t have been an issue a hour or two before, but the bottom line was I wasn’t 100% “there”…

I show up and there’s basically no chit-chat, even though we now know each other on more than a sexual level. That’s fine – figured he wanted to stick to sex. I take off all but my shirt and socks and start eating out his ass. I gotta say his hole was sweet. Frankly a lot better than the other bottom from earlier that evening. I was enjoying myself, so I took my time. Eventually I was ready to fuck and I got him up on the bed and started fucking him.

The blow by blow isn’t as interesting as the fact that the whole time we were having sex he avoided looking at me – even when we were face to face and he was riding my cock. It didn’t take long to realize he just wanted to get fucked. He probably would have preferred someone random anonymous top who he’d never met and would never see again. I gave him a pretty good fuck, but he needed a lot more and a lot harder fuck than I was up for.

The room was warm and I was literally dripping with sweat. After I got his bed all wet at one point by laying on it I was a bit self-conscious and didn’t want to keep getting his bed wet with sweat. The little things I’d do that were a bit tender he never responded to. All he responded to was getting fucked and used like a hole. All in all the chemistry got to the point where it was just off, so I wrapped things up and left. For a variety of reasons I never did cum…

So yeah, it was a bit of a bummer of an evening, but that just is what it is. There’s been a lot on my mind lately. It looks like we’re going to be moving in a month – and all the decisions around that are really distracting. I’m not sure we can afford to buy what we’d really like and we’re not sure about the compromises in what we can afford. It’s a major decision and pretty complicated with no clear choices. On top of everything else, it looks like we’ll be in a rental for a while between places and I’m not looking forward to moving twice or living in a rental I don’t really like.