Load 2022-3

I really need to up the number of loads I’m giving. Three in a month isn’t great at all… But part of it is my dick being unpredictable for some reason.

A couple of weeks ago I hooked up with this clean-cut muscled jock guy who I fucked last year. Back then he was a bug chaser, now his BBRT profile list him as “positive”, so his efforts were successful 😉. I got hard enough to fuck him and he was loose enough I could fuck him with my PA in, but I pretty quickly I could tell I wasn’t going to be able to maintain it and definitely wouldn’t be able to cum – so I gave up. Meanwhile he had been rock hard the entire time, so I asked if he wanted to jack off and put just the head of his dick in my hole as he came. He quickly said yes, and like 15-20 seconds later he was blowing his load in my ass. Even just taking the head was painful (he’s got a pretty big dick for a bottom), but it was hot. I was then rock hard and wanted to go back to fucking him, but he said he can’t get fucked after cumming 🙁. I need to do another session with him. He’s a great piggy fuck. I’ve since learned he gets into fisting – so that could be fun. I feel like I need to get back into the other forms of raunchy sex – BDSM, fisting, piss…

Then a week ago I went over to fuck this black guy who’s a few blocks from me. We hadn’t really talked about how it would go… I knocked on his door and then I think I heard him say “come in”, so I tried and the door was open. I go in and there’s this gorgeous black muscle guy, blindfolded, ass up, face down on the bed. Long story short I rimmed him for a LONG time, then fucked him for a LONG time (like 20-30 minutes) – occasionally pulling out to rim him some more. BUT I was never quite as hard as I wanted to be and I couldn’t cum. He was really into my PA. For part of the fuck I did keep my PA in, but then took it out. When it was all over I apologized for it not being my best fuck and not cumming, and that didn’t seem to bother him at all. He wants hookup again (hit me up yesterday saying he was available on Saturday – but I’m not available then unfortunately). Anyway – he’s another one I need to hookup with again…

Then a day or two after that fuck I came across a guy on Sniffies who was really close to me. I couldn’t tell much from his pic, but figured he was so close it was worth a shot. He turned out to be this cool, young, mixed-race, scruffy guy. But there wasn’t really a good place to fuck at his apartment and he was really oral and didn’t like being rimmed. Oral does nothing for me and my dick chose that moment to go to sleep so I couldn’t get hard enough to fuck him. And I would have had to be hard as a rock to get in his ass – he was super tight. So we gave up and chatted a bit instead…

After fucking the first guy I had jacked off the next morning, but then told myself I was going to try (once again) to not jack off and only cum when I was fucking some bottom. But after repeated failed attempts I gave up and jacked off the morning after hooking up with the oral guy.

Yesterday I FINALLY managed to breed someone. A couple of options didn’t work out, but there was a guy who was in the general neighborhood who said he was free and could come over. He used to be one of my regulars. I first fucked him 10 years ago, but haven’t fucked him in 6 years. In the past he was one of the guys who’d gotten into “race play” with me, but we didn’t “go there” this time. He used to have a really tight body – now he’s still lean, but not “tight” – which is no big deal. I was a bit wary of how clean he was so I figured I’d finger him before rimming him. When I fingered his hole the inside of his ass was felt rough / beat up. I’m guessing he’s got anal warts.

[70% of gay guys between the ages of 16 and 30 have HPV, and that number just goes up as they get older. Once you’ve got HPV you can’t get rid of it, but you also can’t get reinfected. So if you’ve gotten HPV it’s safe to play with other guys who have HPV. There is a vaccine available. If you don’t have HPV – get vaccinated!]

Anyway the condition of his ass put me off wanting to rim him. So I just used spit and a little lube and fucked him as soon as I was hard enough to fuck. I initially tried fucking him with my PA, but couldn’t get it in his ass easily, so took it off and went back to fucking. The guy’s a sweet guy, but in that moment he was just a piece of meat with a hole in it that I could use to cum. I couldn’t quite get into a position that felt great, and I was starting to think I might not be able to cum, but then I felt it building up and a few moments later I was blowing a load in his ass.

I think part of the reason why my dick isn’t completely cooperating is my choice of ED meds. A few years ago the meds were all branded but the clinic I go to had a great deal on Levitra – so I used that. But I had always liked Cialis better, so when they went generic I went back to Cialis. I thought 5mg would be enough – so that’s the size pill I asked for. I’m now thinking it’s not enough, or that Levitra is actually better for me. The last hookup I took 5mg of Cialis and then took part of a Levitra as well – and I had no problem cumming even when things were less than perfect. So I need to experiment a bit – see if a higher dose of Cialis will work or whether I should go back to Levitra (or do some blended approach like yesterday).

So while I only gave 3 loads this past month, I have fucked 6 guys which isn’t too bad. I’m hoping to fuck a couple/few guys this weekend since it’s Pride, but then I have a family trip with no chance to fuck. When I get back I hope to do a lot more fucking. I wouldn’t say the pandemic is over, but it’s time to get back to being a slut… 😈

Loads 2022-1 & 2022-2

There’s a lot I could say about what’s been going on with me, but not quite ready to share all the gory details quite yet. One thing I will say is that I really miss the risk there used to be with barebacking – back before there was PrEP. I used to really get off on a neg bottom just trusting/hoping I was neg. It always amazed me that a bottom’s desire to be bred was stronger than their desire to stay neg. I mean I came out in 1989 – so for the first 7 years of my gay life sex was synonymous with risk – and bareback fucking was extremely high risk – it could literally kill you. So for me sex has always been a game of calculated risk.

Now with PrEP there’s basically no risk – other than with run-of-the-mill STIs that can be cured it’s all pretty much safe sex these days – which isn’t nearly as fun. 😈 Mind you, the “safe sex” feels 100x better these days than it did back in the day with condoms, but it’s lacking the edge. Among other things, I’m wondering if I should get back into BDSM and find a pain pig…

Suffice it to say COVID didn’t help my sex life. After having gone through the whole AIDS epidemic I’m wary of deadly infectious diseases that aren’t well understood. Plus, being 50-something with hypertension puts me at a bit of risk. So I just stepped back for a while. I did do some hookups last year, but not nearly as many as I would have liked. And this year Omicron made the infection rate shoot up really high. Just when it was getting low enough for me to feel comfortable it went up again.

That said, this isn’t two years ago, or even a year ago. They do understand the basics of COVID now and I’m probably really low risk since I’m 4x vaxxed. So can’t say I’ll be going to crowded bars or sex clubs any time soon, but I’m gonna start trying to do more one-on-ones, and maybe mix it up with quiet nights at the Eagle on the off chance it’s cruisy.

A couple weeks ago I fucked a few guys…

First guy was a gangbang at “that hotel” everyone’s using these days for gangbangs. There was another top in there fucking the guy when I got there. Both the top and the bottom were really verbal in a way that seemed forced and weird. The top was good about letting me step in and fuck. It seemed like he had been there for a while and was in no hurry to leave. I started fucking the guy with my PA in. But the room was really really hot and it was clear I couldn’t cum. So I took a break, took my PA out, and jacked a bit while trying to cool down. Then I went at it again, but I was overheating and could tell I’d never cum. So I gave up, went into the bathroom and tried to dry myself off with paper towels and then I left.

The next day I still needed to cum so I had this black guy over who I’ve fucked before (9! years ago). He’s aged, but he still had a great body – short, muscular – just how I like my bottoms 😉 I needed to cum so badly I didn’t last long. I felt a little bad about it. But I continued to pump his ass until I went soft, then we laid kinda spooning while I felt him up – which he seemed to like. For family reasons he’s in my neighborhood pretty regularly, so I’m hoping he’ll become a regular fuck buddy.

Then a few days later I was out in the Pines for Memorial Day weekend. I was supposed to hookup in the Meat Rack with this bottom off Twitter (who’s neg and not on PrEP 😈), but the Meat Rack is basically a huge maze and I wasn’t specific enough about where to meet, so about when I needed to get back I came across this bottom (fairly lean, probably 40-something with really short salt-n-pepper hair) bent over taking dick with one or two other guys waiting to fuck him. I joined the cue, the top who was fucking him came in his ass, and an older top started fucking him. But the bottom wasn’t really into the older guy (even though he had a nice dick), so he turned and planted his ass on my dick. Given the scene it was no big deal that I came pretty quickly. Problem was when I pulled out there was shit on my dick. Luckily I had brought some paper towels to clean up with. When I said “Shit, he’s dirty” all the tops except the older guy left. Either the older guy didn’t hear me or he didn’t mind fucking a dirty hole.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll fuck the hot bug chaser I fucked last year. Thing is with bug chasers I’m often not sure if they’re actually bug chasers or just pretending to be a bug chaser. His profile now says “positive” (not “undetectable”) – not sure if that means he’s actually tested poz or that he hasn’t tested and he’s just assuming he’s poz. I’ll ask after I breed him. I like the idea of fucking a toxic ass – especially on a hot guy – it give me the element of risk I’ve been missing… 😈

Load 2021-9

Yesterday I did a quick hookup with a completely anonymous bottom who lived a few blocks away. There were no pics in his profile. No stats other than age. He wanted to be ass up head down and have no clue who I was (and for me to have no clue who he was). We texted back and forth and he told me his age (mid-20s), height and weight, but that’s all I knew. He had mentioned he wanted to video. I never really confirmed I was OK with it, but knew he’d be fine if I filmed him. I took my hood along so if he did do a video he wouldn’t be able to actually have anything too revealing.

What’s curious when you have video is to see how quick the pump-n-dumps really are. I know back in the day I was doing pump-n-dumps that were as little as 7 minutes from walking in the door to walking out. This one was probably just as quick.

I went into his apartment, got my hood on, and then went into his bedroom. where he was ass up with his head covered. I started rimming him and it was sorta hard to get to his hole, but after a little bit he started pushing his hole out and it was able to rim him better.

He had said he took 7 loads the night before. I was worried he wouldn’t be cleaned so I asked him to clean out a little. Well, he definitely didn’t taste dirty – instead it tasted like flavored lube. Total time rimming him was 1 min and 45 seconds – just long enough to get me hard and ready to fuck.

Then I stood up and fucked him. The way he was positioned on his bed I knew having him get on his belly probably wasn’t an option without uncovering his face and ruining the whole point of the scene. But I was surprised how good it felt and how quickly I came. I literally came in 45 seconds.

I then fucked him for another 45 seconds – just to feel my dick in his cummy hole.

And then it was over. I went back out into his living room, took off my hood, put on my shorts and left.

Slam. Bam. Thank you ma’am…

Load 2021-8

After I got vaccinated I made a pledge to not jack off and only cum when I was fucking. I was doing really well on that pledge until last week when I was looking at porn on Twitter and saw this video of Adrian Zuki getting fucked… To say I’m into little guys is an understatement. Well, his blue hair isn’t really a turn on, but it’s not a turn off either. But he’s so little… Seeing him get fucked by some big, beefy, hairy, tattooed top was just really hot. And just a year ago or so he was almost exclusively doing condom scenes, now he’s 100% bareback. So anyway, I was watching that video, hadn’t cum in 5 days, and then I felt myself starting to cum. Once I get that feeling there’s not really a way to stop it. So I just went with it and blew my load. I was disappointed in myself, but it happened. I did scoop up and eat as much of my load as I could to make the best of a bad situation…

And just as an aside – the reason I hadn’t cum in 5 days was because I was worried I had an STI. There was a small amount of stuff drying on my Prince Albert during the night and I was worried it was discharge. But after a couple days it didn’t turn into full-on discharge and there was no pain when I pissed, so I realized the problem was me trying to stretch my PA. Since my 0g (8mm) ring was fitting comfortably, I had put my 9mm to stretch it a bit the two days before the problem started. That irritated the piercing and caused the stuff drying on the ring during the night. So all of this happened because I was being a conscientious top and not trying to give someone an STI.

Anyway, two days later I was ready to fuck, so I looked for a bottom. I didn’t want to waste all day trying to find the perfect bottom so I went with this guy who lived over in East Harlem. I had previously attached a note to his profile saying I thought he might PNP. But in the moment he was a willing and eager hole who was ready to fuck and not too far away, so I headed over. He had given me codes to get through the doors into his building, but when I got there they didn’t work. Then he gave me a name to look up in the building directory, but it wasn’t listed. Finally I got through the outer gate but then couldn’t find the entrance to the building. (You’d think you might mention where it is if it’s not apparent, but he didn’t.) I had better luck getting through the front door of the building. As I approached his door I could hear a dog barking. He had left the door ajar and when I started to open it the dog was barking at me and trying to get out of the apartment (it was a little dog). I manged to get into the apartment without letting the dog out, but the dog was clearly bothered by my being there.

The bottom was legs up on his bed, as he promised, but the dog was still running around being aggressive towards me. The guy tried to say stuff (in Spanish) to calm the dog, but it wasn’t working. I started rimming the guy. This hole was all greasy – which was unfortunate, but understandable. As I was rimming the guy and jacking my dick the dog comes from under the bed and I feel a nip. Having my dick out in a place where it could get bitten by a dog wasn’t my idea of a great time. As soon as I was hard enough to fuck I switched to fucking.

The bottom clearly wanted to get fucked legs up, but the position was all wrong for me. I just wanted to cum and get out of there before the dog actually bit me. So I had the bottom get on his belly. He didn’t understand and got on all fours at which point I sorta pushed him down. At that point it became a three-way testing of wills – me, the bottom, and the dog. The bottom started squirming around and wanted to change position. The dog was still running around jumping up on the bed, down, then up again being really aggressive. And I just wanted to cum. That’s when I was happy that I can cum so quickly. Like a minute later I felt myself cumming. I literally had to hold the bottom in place (he was squirming and trying to change positions). He wasn’t even “present” enough to know I was blowing a load in his ass.

Once I came I didn’t really care so much about position. We switched it up and I started fucking him again, but the dog was still charging at me and trying to bite me. I had enough of the whole situation, pulled out, put the ring back in my PA, put on my shorts, went to the bathroom to wash up a bit, and then left.

I have no clue how the bottom interpreted that whole situation. I’m not even sure he knows he got my load. I suspect my initial note warning myself that he might PNP was correct. Given everything that went wrong, I can’t see hooking up with him again.

But hey, my load went in his ass. At least I managed that much.

Load 2021-7

I’ve had a difficult relationship with my Prince Albert for many years now. It got up to 2ga (~6mm) really easily. No matter what I can always fit a 2ga in without problems. But getting up to a 0ga (8mm) or 00ga (10mm) has eluded me. I can get up there for a short period, but then the piercing basically protests and sends me back down to 2ga. That’s been happening for years now. Eventually I get frustrated and just take it out and forget about it for a few months, then I’ll try again. But it’s always the same – 2ga always fits, but I can only do 0 or 00 for a brief time.

With me getting back into my groove I thought I’d stick with the stretching process. I won’t bore you with all the details but I’m trying different jewelry and strategies trying to get the stretching process to be successful this time. This morning my 0ga was feeling happy, so I figured I’d give fucking with it a shot. I usually take it out to fuck because the piercing is pretty sensitive while I’m stretching and it’s painful to fuck with it in.

The poz daddy who lives near me was looking for loads this morning so I headed over to his place (he’s becoming a regular). When I took off my shorts and he saw the PA he was pretty happy. As usual he sucked my dick to get it hard. I played with his hole a bit while he sucked me since blowjobs aren’t really my thing. When I was hard enough I grabbed the lube (he didn’t already have loads in him), lubed up and gently pushed in.

The piercing was a little sensitive while I was fucking. I was planning just to cum as quickly as possible so there wouldn’t be too much stress on the piercing but the pain delayed my orgasm a little. For a moment I was wondering whether I’d need to take out the PA to cum. But then I felt my orgasm building, then there was this weird delay, but finally I blew in his ass. Usually I pump in and out a bit after cumming, but I just (gingerly) pulled my dick out and was done.

He wanted to suck me clean, but I said I wanted to take a piss and went to the bathroom. Took a while to piss as well, but I was finally able. (Pissing cleans the urethra and the piercing and reduces the chance of STIs).

Then I put on my shorts and left. Luckily the guy doesn’t mind quickie pump-n-dumps.

Load 2021-7

Yesterday I bred this guy who’s been wanting my load for a while now. Apparently when he was younger and lived in another city he used to read my blog and I guess wanted my load back then, but it wasn’t an option. Then he moved to NYC. About 18 months ago he hit me up, said he had stopped taking PrEP and wanted my load. Then the pandemic hit and hooking up wasn’t really an option. He contacted me last fall from the sounds of it he’d been on-and-off PrEP but getting closer to commit to being poz. Well, yesterday I was able to host and he wanted my load bad enough that he took the subway up for a pump-n-dump.

I knew from his pics that he was relative hot, but when he got here I was surprised – he was really clean cut – which wasn’t what I was expecting in a bug chaser. The Asian guy last week had also been really clean cut but a total cumdump pig. It’s sorta hot when boy-next-door types are total bareback pigs. And when they’re bug chasing that’s even a step above.

Years ago bareback porn really took off after Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend. Prior to that point the guys were not pretty boys – or the few that were were minority, so (stupidly) didn’t have the mass appeal that a white boy jock / frat boy like Dawson had. The last year or so some of the independent producers are coming out with poz fetish porn, but it suffers from the same thing bareback porn suffered from back in the day – models that (to put it nicely) don’t really have mainstream appeal. There’s also the issue that (AFAIK) drugs are involved or at least many of those involved are known to do rather hard drugs (meth, etc.) I sometimes wonder what the response would be if a a white boy jock / frat boy type filmed his conversion and then did videos where he was openly “toxic” (e.g. wasn’t on meds and had a high viral load). We’re probably years away from that happening, which is fine because while it seems more guys are interested in becoming poz, it’s clearly a fringe group at the moment.

Anyway, all of that was to say that was sorta what was running through my head when I saw this clean cut, white boy show up at my door openly hoping this was the moment he’d get pozzed.

And honestly, I don’t know what’s real or just fantasy when I fuck guys. I purposely don’t discuss my status because I sorta like it that way. I don’t know the truth about them and they don’t know the truth about me. All I know is that he at least fantasizes about becoming poz. He could be on PrEP, or he could already be poz, or he could actually be bug chasing – only he really knows.

We went to the bedroom, he stripped down. I took off my pants and took out my Prince Albert. He got on his knees a bit and sucked on my dick, then we went over to the bed. I rimmed him for a bit. His ass was completely clean. No hint of musk or having been fucked already. While I was rimming him I put some lube on my dick and then stood up and slid in…

I took a few pics, then had him get on his belly and I continued fucking him. I told him I loved the fact that he wanted to get pozzed. There was a little banter back and forth along those lines. He was telling me he wanted me to blow a toxic load in him, etc. With all the hot talk it wasn’t long before I blew my load in his ass (I’m cumming really quickly these days). I was rock hard so just kept fucking him.

Then I got him on his side and slowly pumped in and out of his ass while I held him and felt his body until my cock went soft. We were both really quiet at that point, but it was a nice intimate moment. When my dick finally slipped out of his ass I rimmed him a bit more. His ass was wet but didn’t have a strong taste of cum. (I’m sure that changed as it leaked out later on).

While he was getting dressed he mentioned he wanted to know whether I was toxic or not, but knew I probably wasn’t going to tell him. Hopefully we’ll keep fucking and at some point I will tell him. But not yet…