If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know for a number of years there my physical appearance wasn’t on the top of my list of priorities (to put it nicely). I sorta let myself slide and in the process got heavier and heavier. Then a few years ago I started losing weight unexpectedly – about 3 pounds a month (I was a bit more active and just wasn’t as hungry). I dropped about 35 pounds that way over about a year. Then I leveled off between 215 and 220. I stayed that way until last Thanksgiving last year when I started going back up slowly. Recently I’ve been in the 225 to 229 range.

What I realized in all of this was that I’m too sedentary. While it’s nice to lose 35 pounds without really trying, eventually it comes back so I need to do more. Plus, on top of everything else, I’m not happy with my stamina – especially when it comes to sex. I cum quickly because I’ve learned if I wait too long I can’t cum – I just sorta run out of steam. Same goes for my erections. I’m not going to pass judgment on others, but being a bear just doesn’t suit me. I don’t enjoy it.

So as of a couple weeks ago now, I’m now back at the gym. My goal is to #1 increase my cardio health, #2 reduce fat (particularly around my waist), and #3 build strength and muscle.

My running out of steam should be helped by all three. Better cardio health will improve endurance and blood flow. Blood flow is related to erections, so that’s a plus. My favorite position is with the bottom on his belly – but that means I have to support my entire weight as I hover above them. Weighing less (#2) will help, and being stronger (#3) will help me support myself more easily. And who knows – I may find with my “new body” that there are other positions I like. I mean I remember when I was in my 20s I used to love to have a bottom with his legs in the air. Maybe I’ll go back to liking that. And I remember when I was stronger literally tossing bottoms around the bed when I wanted them in a different position.

So I’m expecting things to improve for me sexually. But I realize it’s going to take time. I have a scale that tells me body fat percentage. It’s not terribly accurate, but it gets in the ballpark. Right now it’s telling me I’m carrying about 70 pounds of fat on me. But back in the day when I was in good shape I had about 30 pounds of fat on me. So the ultimate goal is to lose 40 pounds of fat. (If I manage to gain some muscle, total weight loss will be less than that). However, I look decent when I’m around 200 lbs and carrying 40 pounds of fat on me – that’s how I was when I did Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend (10 years ago now). So even losing 25 pounds (30 lbs of fat plus gaining 5 of muscle) would be great, but I’d like to lose more than that if I can.

When I was younger (late ’90s) I lost about 20 pounds in 3 months and then kept going down – 40 pounds after 7 months, etc. I’m older and being a little less rigorous with my diet this time, so I’m not expecting to go down that quickly this time, but hopefully by New Year’s I can be in decent shape (around 200 lbs or a little less) and then lose the rest early next year.

After not going to the gym for probably 12-15 years, I was actually a bit shocked at how weak I’ve gotten. I used to be able to lift quite a bit more weight. I mean it makes sense when you think about it, but you don’t really notice it when the muscle is fading away. The only exception is my legs – they’re still relatively strong.

The problem is that the way I was taught to do weights when I was in college was to go to failure on every set (while being careful about form). That sort of workout is exhausting when you haven’t been to the gym in 10+ years. Right now I can barely walk ’cause I did a leg workout a couple of days ago. My quads are killing me. And if it’s not my legs, then I’ve probably done some upper body exercise and holding my arms up is difficult.

So oddly, right at the moment, working out is killing my sex life. It’s hard to even sit in a chair and do work. The idea of expending energy to fuck someone is just out of the question. But hey, it’s temporary, and in the end my sex life will be better, right? The question is how much better… We’ll see…

I forgot to take before pictures. I didn’t take any until I’d been working out for a week and a half, but for the record, here’s where I stand as of a few days ago… I’ve got a lot of work to do to whip this into shape…

Load 2013-47

I was a little shocked today when I was filling in my hookup spreadsheet. I realized that there had been a full, 4 week dry spell before the hookup I had on Monday. That’s pretty awful, but there are a number of reasons for it.

For starters, I’ve been feeling weird sexually. About a month ago my dick felt really weird. It was like there was something going on in my urethra. There was no discharge and my STD tests were clear. I wondered if it were herpes, so I took 10 days of herpes meds, but that didn’t change anything so that wasn’t the issue. I also wondered if I had a wart in there. It’s not something I’d even think of, but I have a friend who has that issue. Thing is, that doesn’t go away on it’s own and the problem did finally go away – so that wasn’t the issue either. In hindsight I’m confused what the problem was. I guess my PA could have irritated something. Or maybe there was some sort of internal bruise/scar that took time to break down.

I really have no clue, but it’s gone whatever it was. The point was that, despite what some of you think of me, I really don’t get off on giving STDs to the guys I fuck. OK, I do fantasize sometimes about pozzing some of the guys I fuck – but I’m neg and on PrEP – it’s just a fantasy and sometimes that fantasy seems to backfire on me. So the issues with my dick sorta put me off sex.

On top of that, I’ve just been really stressed lately. Maybe it’s the winter blues – or maybe it’s the fact that I’m in the middle of no fewer than 3 lawsuits and that brings a certain amount of bad karma into my life – or maybe it’s just that I’ve been feeling really pressured to fix certain things about my business and get my income back where it needs to be (it was on a very gradual decline the last few years). But one way or the other I just wasn’t all that horny most of the time.

And if that weren’t enough my ass has been bugging me – my fissure has returned. Anal fissures go hand in hand with stress. When people say uptight people are anally retentive – it’s not just a figure of speech. Stress makes your ass tight and when your ass is too tight you get fissures (so says my colorectal surgeon). On top that, the experimenting I did with that funnel hurt like hell and may have torn something. (Lesson learned on that one!)

And it didn’t help that I got in the habit of jacking off to Tumblr when I woke up in the morning. I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with people for sex. Jacking off seemed like a better idea – but it was pointless to hookup after jacking off – I only have one good load a day.

That was actually an issue in the hookup on Monday. The guy came over. He was a little stockier than I’d usually think was my type, but he was short and smooth and had a good hole. Things should have gone well with him, but I just couldn’t cum with him. It was frustrating. I had no problem getting hard and giving him a decent fuck, but the cum just didn’t come. I had jacked off once or twice the day before. Guess that was the reason I couldn’t cum. Who knows.

But I fucked this guy today. Initially I thought he had just an average body, etc. But when I got in his ass it was incredible. It was like a vice most of the time I fucked him. It only loosened up a little right before I came. And it wasn’t just his hole – his glutes were hard as rocks. His ass just felt muscular as I had him on his belly slamming into it. So bottom line the sensations with my dick weren’t at all what I was expecting when I saw him walk through the door. It’s funny how there are guys who may not turn your head in a bar but are excellent fucks. And then there are really hot guys who I can’t cum with. Go figure.

So I did finally break my dry spell. Thank god! The funny part was I didn’t realize how long of a dry spell it had been. Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll at least get up to 50 loads. I’d feel a little bad if I didn’t hit that mark.

Just wanted to give a little update… I’ve been in a bit of a melancholy mood since returning from MAL. Actually the first couple days back I was still on a sexual high and pretty horny. I fucked the thug the first day back, and I was really horny the 2nd day too. But I couldn’t find anyone that day, and forgot about texting my fuckbud in the neighborhood, so I wound up jacking off. As I came I could feel it was a bit load and it was like my sexual energy went out of my with the load.

After that I needed to get back to the the real world and all the pressures of life. I just sorta got out of the mood to fuck. Even sorta stopped wanting to be around people. I know it’s probably just the winter blues, but it is what it is, and I just don’t feel like fucking. Unfortunately the last few days I’ve just wanted to jack off and be done with it.

Yesterday there were some really hot guys hitting me up on BBRT. That got me a bit more in the mood 😉 And as I walked the dogs last night I noticed that it looked like a full moon was coming. (Just checked – it’ll happen on the 26th). I’m always hornier around full moons, so that’s promising…

So hopefully later this week I’ll get back into the swing of things. But nothing for now.

BTW, if you’re feeling the winter blues – it may be a Vitamin D deficiency. In the summer we get plenty of Vitamin D by being outdoors in the sun, but in the winter most Americans in northern climates are Vitamin D deficient. So take your Vitamin D. [Unfortunately the Vitamin D they put in milk is the wrong type of Vitamin D and the body doesn’t absorb it very easily – so get the pills from your local pharmacy.]

The last few days have been really frustrating sexually… We’ve got a house guest staying with us – the type I don’t discuss my sex life around. The guest is staying for 7 days, and I didn’t fuck for a couple days before – so right now I’ve got an 8 day load in my balls…

Monday I came up with an excuse to get out and fuck. I was going to “go pick something up”. I arranged with this Brazilian fuck bud to stop by his place on my way. I get there, ring the bell over and over, but he didn’t answer. After 10 or 15 minutes I gave up and left. He never did explain why he flaked. He did something similar years ago, but has had a pretty good track record lately. No clue what happened with him.

[Update – the guy texted me at 5am in the morning this morning – wondering if I wanted to hookup. That pretty much means he’s gotten deep into PNP – sad. I asked him about the other day and he said he had a business call. Bullshit – if that were the case he would have gotten back to me.]

Then yesterday I “needed to go pick up something else”… So I went down to Chelsea to this guy’s place. I get there and he’s wrapping up a PNP session with a few other guys. He does this really awkward “I don’t think my friends are into you” excuse. UGH. Whatever. I just walked out. Then he texts me apologizing… Seriously? Why not just tell me to wait 10 minutes until they leave? I really hate PNP… It makes people flakes.

After that I got onto A4A Radar & BBRT Mobile. There was a guy nearby who was interested earlier – he’d read my emails and not respond. When he did finally get back to me I was home and couldn’t hookup.

Today I got online and there just weren’t many guys looking – so couldn’t arrange anything…

I feel like I’m about to burst. Assuming I don’t get any tomorrow, someone is going to get a HUGE load in their ass Friday morning… Anyone available?

Load 2011-3

Several of you have posted comments here on the blog wondering where I went… Well, I’m still around but I can sorta tell sex just isn’t going to be a priority this year. Those of you who know me know there’s a big personal project I’m working on. I feel like I’m burning the candle at 3 ends and I’m usually just too busy for sex. (Just to illustrate the change in focus – I’ve done 22 blog posts in the past two months on my personal, non-sexual blog many about the project). Yeah, I get horny, but if I don’t jack off my horniness hurts my productivity – so I just jack off.

Simply put there are times in ones life when sex just isn’t all that important – and this is one of those times for me. I’m sure there will be some negative feedback for saying that – whatever – it probably comes from people who haven’t achieved much in their lives. Anyone who’s pushed to achieve something knows what I’m talking about.

From the looks of it the project will be over at the end of the year or early next year – so there is light at the end of the tunnel 🙂  And it’s something I really want to accomplish – so it will all be worth it.

Since I last blogged I’ve had just 3 hookups…

First Hookup (almost 4 weeks ago)

The first one was with a guy I fucked a few times in the past – the last time was nearly 3 years ago. I had sorta forgotten the details of how the previous times had gone, but they came back pretty quickly as I was fucking him..

The guy had moved. He used to be in a slightly rough walk-up building in Hell’s Kitchen – now he’s in one of those new fancy doorman buildings in Chelsea. The funny part was the two apartments had similar layouts. While I felt good that he’s (apparently) doing better financially, I worried that he may have given up a rent stabilized apartment to get one that’s market rate – where the rent can go up very quickly. (A doorman studio in Chelsea goes for about $2650/mo compared to $1900/mo on average for a non-doorman studio in Hell’s Kitchen).

Anyway, that’s a digression… I get there and he wants to suck my dick right inside his front door (like before). He sucks and sucks and sucks, but I want to fuck. I start bending over to feel his ass, but he doesn’t get the hint. Finally I tell him (several times) that I want to fuck.

When I finally slide into him, his ass feels great – very smooth and sorta silky. But he’s not a very good bottom – I want him to arch his back differently so, with him bent over, I push on the small of his back, but he doesn’t change his position. The position is sorta awkward for me, so I tell him I want to fuck him on his bed.

We move to the bed and it continues to be déjà vu… There I am waddling over to his bed (my pants are around my ankles), and I have to figure out whether it’s worth the trouble to take my boots off so I can get my pants off and fuck him properly. I’m supposed to meet friends at Rawhide soon so I opt for keeping my pants on.

Once on the bed, the fuck is OK, but still not quite right… At one point I pull out and smell shit, so that’s the end of that. I go into the bathroom and wash the crap off my dick, text the buddy I’m meeting for drinks (he texted me in the middle of fucking), and tell the guy I have to leave.

I’m not sure why, but he feels guilty about fucking – says “we shouldn’t have done that”… But he always lets me do it. Problem is he never prepares properly – this wasn’t the first time he was dirty.

Second Hookup (the next day)

So I was horny the next day ’cause I hadn’t cum the night before. There’s a guy who moved into my general neighborhood who I fucked years ago. My spreadsheet of fucks goes back to 2006 and it was before that – not sure exactly when it was, but I do remember fucking him (he remembered and said “so it’s been ___ years”). When I saw him we both had changed since our first hookup (me probably more than him with all the weight I put on).

Anyway, it was a pretty straightforward pump-and-dump. He was a good fuck. Didn’t last too long and as he was leaving he said something like “quick and nasty – just like I like it”… He got what he came for a load in his ass he could take to work. Bet he had a big grin on his face that day as he dealt with his customers as cum was leaking out of his ass… 🙂

Third Hookup (almost 2 weeks ago)

I had a few options that day. The guy from the second hookup was one option, but I didn’t want to fuck the same guy two times in a row. I probably should have gone with him though. Anyway, I had to stop in Harlem for something and then the plan was to stop by the Upper West Side to fuck a cumhole I’ve fucked many times over the past 7 years. I texted him from Harlem to confirm and he had double booked and canceled on me.

So I went down to the Rawhide and where I was going to meet a friend. I was early (’cause I hadn’t stopped to fuck) and he was running late, so as I drank my beer I checked on BBRT for ass in the neighborhood. Usually I strike out with that, but this was my lucky day – a hot guy nearby was up for a quickie pump-n-dump.

I walked over to his place, and he had left the door ajar and was on his bed with his ass propped up on two pillows. Hot body and sweet ass! His hole even felt good as I was fucking it. usually I don’t like pillows under a bottom, so I took out one and then the next, but in his case at least one pillow was a good idea.

He had a great hole, but I didn’t manage to cum in his ass. It was a combination of things – 1) I had had a pint of beer and usually I’m no good sexually when I’ve got alcohol in me – though I didn’t think 1 pint would make a difference, and 2) I was sorta rushed – I needed to get back to Rawhide to meet my friend, and lastly I just sorta wore our before I was able to cum.

I stopped at one point. Caressed him very briefly. Got up and zipped up my pants and left. As I was leaving he said “that was hot”.  I never let on that I hadn’t cum. Not sure if he figured it out or not…

So that’s the extent of my sex life lately – not really much to report… Gotta work on improving that a bit… Hopefully the project will stop being so stressful and I’ll relax enough that I want to fuck.

Loads 2010-19,20,21 (!)

Went to a sex party last night and had a VERY good time. Fucked 4 guys, came in 3 of them. Given that I usually only cum once and I’m done, that’s very good indeed…

The organizer has been asking me to go for a while now. I got there a few minutes early to meet him and chat with him and finally the time rolls around and a guys start arriving. I was a little surprised when he asked me to pay (thought I remembered him telling me like a year ago that he’d comp me) – but in hindsight it was worth the $20, so no big deal.

Back when I was thin I had no problem knowing what to wear at sex parties. Naked with combat boots and a cock ring worked pretty well for me. But now that I’m a bear I’m never quite sure – it’s actually one of the reasons why I don’t go to parties very often – I’m a little body conscious. I know some guys are into my body type, but I know a lot of other guys aren’t. I decided to wear a pair of A&F boxers (and a cockring) and it worked well for me – I’d take off the boxers in the playroom and put them on when I went out to the living room. Actually I was more self-conscious out on the street ’cause I was wearing a “Black Is Beautiful” t-shirt. Not sure how well received a white boy would be with that t-shirt. But it was the black-on-black version (black with black lettering) – and it looks really good with my black Wesco boots… 🙂

So we strip down and then sorta have to wait since we’re both tops (and even if he were a bottom I wasn’t into him). Pretty soon some other guys show up and there are bottoms and versatile guys. I should mention that you could tell what someone was ’cause the organizer gave out wrist bands. There were non-porn movies playing in the living room, so I moved into the bedroom that was the play area. I was the only one there, but I wanted my mind on sex, so I just watched the porn that was on the TV there and slowly jacked my cock.

This versatile guy came in and stood next to me – so close we were touching even though there were just the two of us in the room. He was sorta cute, so we started playing with each other. I quickly figured out he was more versatile top and didn’t seem all that interested in bottoming. So when we hit a lull after some cocksucking and other guys were coming in I moved around a bit. But things were slow to start and after a little while I wound up sitting on the bed with him. We were alternating between me fingering his hairy ass – which was so tight there was no way he was getting fucked, and him sorta laying next to me with his head snuggled up against me.

Some of the initial guys who showed up weren’t really my type. They ranged anywhere from guys that were nice enough, but had weight issues (hint: if you’re a bottom and are sagging a bit – wear a t-shirt and a jockstrap – you’ll get a lot more action), one was a bit aggressive and didn’t seem to be anyone’s type – but at least he wasn’t too aggressive.

Finally some cuter guys showed up. The first really cute guy was this Asian twink. He was maybe 5’2″ and I doubt he was over 110 lbs. He started off watching TV in the living room and sorta latched onto the guy he was sitting next to. They came into the bedroom and started playing, but they’d ignore anyone who came up to them and tried to join in. At first I thought they were a couple who got off having sex in front of other guys. But as the night wore on I started comparing notes with this other top and we were both a bit frustrated we couldn’t fuck the Asian kid. The guy he latched onto did eventually start playing with other guys, but then the Asian kid was turning down everyone who made advances on him. More on him later.

Sex parties really need slutty bottoms to get them going (and tops of course). Well, this lean, furry almost daddyish type was the first guy to be a good slutty bottom (even though he flagging versatile). He and the versatile guy I cuddled/fingered earlier started playing, and then he got into the sling and started getting fucked. When the versatile guy was done, he sorta told me to fuck the guy. Lube was a bit of an issue (the party host just had this water based stuff that dried out really quickly), but the bottom had brought his own (silicone based I think) – so his ass felt great. He was pretty open and it felt a bit cunt like (or at least what I’d imagine a woman’s cunt to feel like).

Thanks to not cumming between fucks I’ve been shooting really huge loads lately. The hairy guy’s hole felt great and fairly quickly I felt like I was going to cum. I decided to try to cum a little and see if I could save some of the cum for later. So I just started unloading in his ass. I didn’t say anything though – I was trying to work out the mechanics of 1/2 a load in my head. As it turned out he got a pretty big load I pulled out briefly to try to stop my load, but just wound up continuing to cum so I shoved back in. I kept my dick in him and tried to continue to fuck him, but the problem was I had to fuck really gently so I wouldn’t keep blowing my load. So not long after I just pulled out. I’m not sure he ever knew he got my load…

I took a quick break, got a little lemonade and went back into the playroom. This other hot Asian guy had arrived. He wasn’t as young as the first one, but still had a great body, and the best part was he seemed to want to get fucked by as many guys as possible. He was pulling guys over to suck them while tops were fucking him. So when one top was done I started fucking him. Great hole. Great body. The first fuck had been in a sling, which is not a position I’m used to. This one was doggy, which I’m just rediscovering lately. I’m pretty sure he had a few loads in him already and his ass felt great. Once again it wasn’t long before I started cumming. And once again I was trying to work out the mechanics of not giving a full load and didn’t really say much when I came (plus I came pretty quickly). He still got a decent sized load, then I had to pull out to avoid cumming even more.

I stood a close by and sorta jacked my cummy dick a bit. He went to suck it some more, but it was too sensitive, so I bent over and told him my dick was really sensitive right then ’cause I’d just cum in his ass. He grinned and understood and stopped.

I then went for a longer break and more lemonade, and stood around and talked with the host for a while. The standoffish Asian twink came by at one point to get something to drink. I saw him observing me a little bit, but then he was gone. About this time a really hot guy came in and stripped naked except for boots. He was really hot and I wanted to fuck him pretty badly. He also kept looking at me, so I knew he’d be up for taking my dick. So I went into the playroom looking for him…

He was making out with some other guys, then he gradually wound up over by me. I felt up his body and it was pretty wonderful. Smooth, soft, but perfectly proportioned. His ass was so soft and smooth it felt like a baby’s ass or something… Then this other guy about the same age as him and just about as hot as he was horned in on the 3way that we were in and I didn’t feel like competing, so I removed myself from the group and just watched all the action from the sidelines. I had already cum twice when I can usually only cum once in a night, so my dick was starting to be a little temperamental. It would get hard when something really turned me on, but then sorta lose it pretty quickly when I stopped focusing on whatever the stimulus was.

Then the hot guy who horned in on the action with the hot guy I wanted to fuck got the hot guy I wanted to fuck into the sling. I hung close by the sling sorta waiting to fuck the hot bottom. I preferred to fuck him after he’d had a few loads in him anyway, so didn’t mind waiting my turn.

Now, I should mention that the young Asian twink who had been so picky had finally picked another top and was getting fucked on the bed while all this was going on. But then that sorta ended (the top came) and the Asian kid was making his way slowly to the door of the room. He walked in front of me and stopped to look at the hot bottom getting fucked in the sling. I figured what the hell and slowly and tentatively stroked his back as he stood in front of me. To my surprise he responded by backing up and pushing his ass into my crotch. BINGO! I had just been chosen by the picky bottom everyone wanted to fuck…

While I had been concentrating on fucking the hot bottom in the sling, when it was clear I could fuck the young picky Asian kid I lept at it… I didn’t want to scare him, so for a minute or two I just felt him up, but he was basically grinding his ass into my crotch and barely even looking back at me. It was very different than the more connected, intimate sex I’d seen him having with the other two tops. So I rubbed my dick up and down on his ass crack and finally spit on my dick and shoved in. He moaned and I knew I had him.

Fucking standing up wasn’t very comfortable, so I pulled out and moved him over to a clear spot in the bed. He got on all fours and I just started eating out his smooth sweet boi hole. He’d gotten fucked by two guys so far and had a nice cummy, well lubed hole – and he was so smooth and petite it was incredibly hot. Despite having already cum twice, the prospect of getting my load in his little boi hole had me boned, so I started fucking him. At first I tried doggy style with him, but that wasn’t quite right, so I quickly just pushed him down on the bed. I knew with small bottoms this is usually the best position.

I pumped away and it felt great in his cummy little ass… I also knew I it was going to be difficult for me to cum and I didn’t want to wear out. The room was getting hot and fucking a bottom on his belly takes a lot more work than it does standing up. So I just concentrated on cumming in his ass. Pretty quickly I could feel my orgasm cumming, but then it didn’t cum – it just continually felt like I was just about to cum. I kept at it and finally I could feel myself cumming just a little. Then it was like the weak dribble of a cum shot just kept going and going. The load definitely wasn’t as big as the others, but he did get my load and it was more than a few drops.

Immediately after I was done I got up and started felching his ass. Needless to say it was cummier and sweeter than before. It wasn’t really the place to lay next to him and cuddle him, but I tried to be tender but still make it clear the sex part was over. I don’t know that he really ever reached out to touch me the entire time, but I could tell he liked the affection he got from me. He wasn’t into me so much as into me being into him. A few other times later in the evening we’d pass each other, I’d pay him some attention and he’d seem to like it… I would have love to have been a mind reader to know what all was going on in his brain that night…

As I walked out the hot bottom was in the hallway. I paid him some attention, kissed him a bit, felt him up some more. He made the comment “You’re pretty bashful”. He sorta nailed it in a way – at sex parties I am sorta bashful. I responded with “Yeah, but I always manage to get my way”, and then he said something like “you’re just as hot as last time”. I immediately responded “this is my first time here”, but half way through saying it I realized he remembered hooking up with me at some point and I must have forgotten him – he did stand out in the crowd and did seem sorta familiar. I felt like shit – I mean he’s incredibly hot – how could I forget him? He let my comment slide (thank god) and we kept making out. But I really needed to take a break. I’d cum three times already…

I went and got some more lemonade, chatted with the host and the guys around him. The hot guy was across the room, and looking at him I started to realize who he was… He was actually a guy I had fucked and filmed about 18 months earlier. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me recently – when you put a hood on a bottom it’s easy to forget his face – it’s not burned into your memory like it is when you have regular sex without the hood.

I was contemplating just going home ’cause I’d already cum three times which is way beyond my normal abilities, but I had to go at least talk to the hot guy again. I went over and we started talking again. I asked him “You’re Village Cumhole, right?” and I could tell he was happy I remembered who he was. I apologized for forgetting him and blamed it on the hood (which is the truth). I then told him I wasn’t sure I had a 4th fuck in me, but I really wanted to fuck him. We played around a bunch – just kissing and feeling each other up.

I just felt like I couldn’t leave until I at least tried to fuck him, so I pulled him into the playroom. He started motions to drop to his knees, but I know myself well enough to know the only thing that would get me hard when I’m that out of it would be rimming… I told him to get on the bed and then I ate out his ass. And, as expected, I got pretty hard. he’s got such a sweet smooth hole…

When I was hard enough to fuck I pushed it in and went for it. Doggy position wasn’t really working for me, so I pushed him onto his belly. I knew it was a fair amount of exertion given the evening so far and the heat in the room, but it’s what was working for me best in the moment. I gave him a decent fuck – not very long, but long enough given the circumstances. Then I got him back on all fours, and finally just gave up and pulled out. I was pretty soft by the time I pulled out, but that was sorta expected and there was just no chance of a 4th load…

We wrapped things up, I got dressed and noticed the first Asian I fucked was leaving at the same time. But hot guy stopped me in the hall and we made out some more. I was a few minutes behind the Asian guy leaving, but when I got to the corner of the block there he was waiting to cross the street. He was lost in his music and didn’t see me, but I sorta wondered why he wasn’t already gone… He’s another one I’d like to fuck again and from the sounds of it he’s getting into porn – the guy who organized the party said he’d shot a scene with him… I’d love to shoot a scene with me fucking him – he’s hot!

So that was a pretty excellent night. I didn’t fuck as many guys as I thought I would but all the ones I fucked were sorta exceptional, and cumming three times definitely made it a great evening… Now I just need to go back on a regular basis…