I was chatting with a porn producer the other day on Skype and he told me that doing breeding videos with internal cumshots, was nearly impossible because so many of the porn stars these days inject trimix, and 80% of the guys who inject can’t manage to cum when they’re fucking – they have to pull out and jack off to cum! (Which is sorta sad, IMHO). So I asked another (well-known) producer and he hadn’t thought about it, but as he thought it over he thought it was probably true.

I’ve noticed that trimix is sorta taking over porn. When one studio shot at my house the producer offered all the models an injection of trimix before they started. And in some of the other scenes I’ve watched the more “professional” porn stars (aka full-time escort tops), bring their own needles and trimix to the shoot. Yes, they had rock hard cocks for hours, but losing the ability to cum makes me wonder…

I know there are times when I wish I could stay hard for hours – namely when I go to sex parties. I’ve thought of talking to my doctor about it, but I hate needles. I used to actually blackout when I got injections. I’m better, but can’t really look at the needle when they’re doing things like drawing my blood. So I doubt it would be a good idea for me to stick a needle in my cock at the beginning of a sex party. [It also explains one of the many reasons why I’m not an IV drug user.]

However, I’m thinking of talking to my doctor about Muse when I go in for my quarterly PrEP check-up in a couple weeks. Muse is a suppository you put up your urethra. It’s more or less the predecessor to trimix – not quite as effective, and doesn’t require injection. Not sure if it causes the same problems with cumming like trimix, but at sex parties it’s fun just to see how many guys you can get your dick in. Cumming is optional (though nice).

So next time you see a breeding video with internal cumshots – give those tops a bit more  respect. They’re doing something most porn stars can’t do.

Load 2013-33

I think I’ve figured out why I don’t feel my cumshot sometimes – but more on that in a moment. Today I wanted to fuck, so I took a Cialis and it kicked in quicker than I was expecting (see pic). Problem was I then had problems finding a bottom who I wanted to fuck. New Yorkers work a lot and looking for hole in the middle of the day is a lot harder than nights and weekends – especially when you want to host and you’re not in a gay neighborhood or in a neighborhood with a lot of office workers.

This one guy kept hitting me up. I knew I wasn’t all that into him but he was so persistent and no one else was biting, so finally after saying ‘no’ I gave in and said yes. Then he started having second thoughts since he was traveling and I just wanted a quickie, but then when I said “let’s forget it” he said he was out the door and on his way.

He shows up and he looks older than I was expecting. His profile said he was 2 years older than me. He looked 10 years older. He knew he was just a hole to me. He comes in strips down. He had talked about being hooded so I gave him a hood to put on.

I started by having him suck my dick. I’m not sure he really liked sucking with the Prince Albert in – he only seemed to do a so-so job but it was enough to get me hard (thanks to the Cialis).

He said it was OK to take pics or whatever I wanted. So I pulled out my phone and snapped a couple pics of his sucking and then put it in video mode. I didn’t shoot much video and it was just with the iPhone, but I’ve put it up on Raunchy Fuckers if you want to have a look.

Then I lubed up and went fucked him. I shot a little video of the beginning of the fuck and then put down the phone and concentrated on the fuck. Since I didn’t really like him and he knew he was just a hole I wasn’t particularly gentle fucking him. I did long strokes which, with the PA, means the ball on the bottom of my dick was going in and out of his ass. He was pretty loose and didn’t seem to have much trouble taking it – though I think it was intense enough that he felt it. He made some comment about it being the first time he’d gotten fucked with a PA.

He was pretty verbal at first, but then asked if I liked him being verbal – I said “whatever – you’re just a hole to me” – at which point he got quiet.

I could feel my orgasm building and I was about to cum then I didn’t feel the cumshot. Ugh. Right about that time the bottom pushed his ass up a bit which was really bad timing. I figured I hadn’t cum and so I continued fucking him. Shortly after I wanted to remove the PA as a possible reason why I didn’t cum, so I took it out. Thanks to the Cialis I was able to keep going, but I did start getting softer.

I was a little frustrated thinking I hadn’t cum. I was sweating like a motherfucker – I mean sweat was literally pouring off me. So here I was overheated, hadn’t cum and my dick was starting to go a bit soft. It wasn’t good.

I pulled out and told the bottom to suck my dick, but he refused saying he doesn’t suck dick once it’s been in his ass. Whatever (it seemed pretty clean to me). So I started playing with his ass. He was loose so I put more and more fingers up him until I had about 4 fingers in him. If I had smaller hands I could have fisted him – I was getting pretty deep inside him as it was.

I then went back to fucking him, but wasn’t all that hard. Since he was loose I figured I’d put on my cock sheath and fuck him with that. That didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I didn’t really feel much of anything and I wasn’t all that hard. The sexual energy was sorta dying, so I finally gave up and ended things.

Once again my dick was acting like it had cum, so that usually means I did indeed cum. Then it struck me – the common factor in the fucks when I haven’t felt my cumshot lately – it’s my PA – in particular the curved barbell. I’m thinking PA takes up so much space in my urethra that the cum can’t shoot out – it has to trickle out. I’ve noticed this with pissing – I piss more slowly with the PA in.

I like fucking with the PA, but it seems like it’s a choice between that and feeling my cumshot. Hmmmm –  not sure which to choose…

Load 2013-25

There’s a sub bottom who’s been hitting me up for a while now. Finally yesterday things worked out and we were able to fuck. What put a smile on my face was he asked if I was going to videotape it. I figured “what the hell… I really should be videotaping more of my fucks”, so I said yes and got things ready.

He had hit me up via text, so I hadn’t gotten a chance to study his profile before he got here. All I remembered was that he was really sub and he’d be up for S/M. He did mention that he wanted to be hooded for the video, so I got out a hood for him and for me as well as puppy mitts for him.

I put a hood him while he was stripping down and then put mine on and turned on the camera. He started by sniffing my pits, and licking me a bit. I had sweat when I did a little tanning before he got there, so I was probably a bit musky – but in a good way (I think). He seemed to get into it.

My intention was to lay back and let him suck me and get me hard, etc. I had gone out to jockstrap night at the Eagle the night before and was still a bit hung over. I really wasn’t sure how I was going to perform. But when I told him to get on the bed he got on all fours with his ass up. That always gets me going, so instead of him sucking on my dick, I sucked on his hole.

And of course once I had his hole lubed up with spit the next logical thing was fucking him. I was just shooting with natural daylight so I had to reposition a bit. And I probably should have used some lube, but I just went with spit. There were all these things I wasn’t doing as planned, but it felt right in the moment.

One thing I did know was that he was neg as of a test a couple months ago. So I was pretty verbal with him about raw fucking his neg hole. At one point I even said “You want my dirty load up your neg hole boy?” And he came back with “Yes SIR” – like a good sub should always answer. Even though I’m neg it’s always hot breeding neg guys. I love the risk they take getting fucked raw. (But more on him being neg in a bit…)

Even though I’ve been wearing my big Prince Albert lately I took it out to fuck. Guys were tugging on it all night at the Eagle the night before and it was rather sore. And as it turned out it was good I did take it out. Typical for me I came pretty quickly and he got a HUGE 5 or 6 day load. But then when I pulled out I figured out he was dirty. UGH! For being dirty it wasn’t too bad – didn’t get on the sheets or anything. But just imagine if I had been wearing my PA – it would have been covered in shit right then. To complicate matters I had to get the puppy mitts and hood off him while standing there with shit on my dick. Needless to say I did it as quickly as possible.

Don’t get me wrong – “shit happens” – I wasn’t upset with him or anything. It was just a complication. We went to the bathroom and I washed off my dick and gave him a portable douching bulb which he used to clean out some more. Meanwhile I went back to the bed, laid down and jacked my dick a bit.

When he came back I hooded us again, turned the camera back on and we got back down to business. While it was a bit backwards it was at this point we did some foreplay. (Is it still foreplay if it happens after you cum?) He sucked my dick a bit, and licked my pits, etc. As he was licking my pits his cock was rock hard and pushing at my hole. He wasn’t getting in my hole, but he did manage to make it clear that, if SIR wanted to get fucked, it was an option.

Then I moved him around into a 69 position to rim him. Usually guys suck on my dick in this position – and he did a little, but what we was mostly interested in was rimming my ass…

For a sub bottom he had a rather big top streak in him 😉

After a while I got a bit of a second wind and I put him on his belly and fucked him a bit more. Thing was I had already cum, so it wasn’t the most intense of fucks and I didn’t cum – it was more of a play fuck.

You can tell in that pic (and one I posted on Twitter) that, while I’ve got a ways to go to be “in shape”, I’m in way better shape than I was a year+ ago. I’ve been a little frustrated since I haven’t lost weight since Thanksgiving, but I do want to get back to the gym in a few weeks with the goal of being a lot closer to “in shape” by MAL in January.

Anyway, getting back to the hookup… We then cuddled a little bit, then finally turned off the camera, took off our hoods and laid there a little more talking, etc. At one point I got hard again and fucked him a bit more (off camera). While I had my dick in him that last time I asked “So I see in your profile you’re neg, but you’re taking raw dick…” He said I was the first guy to cum in his ass in a long time (years) and prior to that he had only gotten bred by boyfriends. There was only one regular fuck buddy he’s been seeing for years that fucks him raw and the guy pulls out when he cums. I was a little shocked – usually I think of barebacking as a one-way street – once you do a bit of it you want more, and then a little more, and a little more, etc. But here was someone who didn’t do that. He said he trusted me because he’s been reading my blog for years and I seem honest – and I’m on PrEP so he was pretty sure I really was neg.

Still, he’s a sub bottom who pokes his rock hard cock at your hole. And he’s a bareback bottom who’s managed to say ‘no’ to more barebacking (at least taking loads). And he’s in a really femmy profession but not femmy himself. He’s definitely got some unexpected elements to him.

Since he’s up for video hopefully we’ll hookup pretty regularly. When I get a chance I’ll edit the video and put the full version on rawTOP.tv and a shorter clip on RaunchyFuckers.com.

Oh yeah – there’s one hookup (with another neg bottom) that I haven’t written up yet. I think there’s going to be a part 2 to that hookup, so I’ll write it up then.

Today a well-known porn studio did a shoot at my place. You’ll understand in a bit why I’m not going to give details. It was a big crew – like 8 porn stars (I didn’t participate other than being there). The professionalism among them was completely uneven. Most of them were polite and courteous and professional, but there was one who was just a huge messy queen…

The mess showed up 2 hours late and at one point went outside (in view of all my neighbors) with no shirt on. When I said “why did you do that?” He said “I don’t care (what people think)”. My response was, “Well, I care. I have to live here.” He was clearly high – sorta bouncing off the walls and saying stupid shit. He asked me how he looked, then said a little prayer in front of me (about him staying clean) and insisted I say the “Amen”.

Then a few hours later one of the porn stars I’ve known for a while says “believe it or not, he’s higher than when he arrived.” This, despite the producer telling everyone in advance that drugs weren’t allowed. Then a half hour later I see he’s passed out in one of the rooms…

I mean that’s pretty hot to walk in on – sorta perfect how he managed to have his shorts pulled down – like he hoped someone would come along and fuck him (some more). If he weren’t such a mess I might have gone up and felt him up. But when other people are paying guys to perform I’m sorta stand-offish with porn stars – they’re not mine during that time – they belong to the producer. Plus, he was totally out and even snoring… Given how erratic he was acting I preferred him asleep. Our place can be pretty dangerous if someone’s not being careful.

When he was woken up his mood changed yet again – he got all angry and irritable. Then a few minutes later he had mellowed a bit, but was super anxious to leave (which was fine by me). All in all he was sort of a sad character. Mind you, the video of him getting fucked is going to be incredible. He’s hot and can take an incredibly hard pounding (thanks in part to him being plastered out of his mind). But his life is just a huge disaster from the looks of it.

Then there was another really well known porn star bottom who showed up and promptly had to spend a lot of time cleaning out. Shit happens (so to speak), and in all other respects I really liked the guy – seemed genuine, well-balanced, was really nice to be around, but the bottoms were told it was going to be difficult to clean out – you’d think someone of his caliber and who’s generally really professional would do a bit more to be clean. But he was so good in other respects that I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt – maybe he was just having a bad day.

Most of the guys (like my friend) were completely prepared and put their all into it. They seemed like they’d be a pleasure to work with.

There are times I think it would be fun to produce porn. But then there are moments like today when the one bad apple in the barrel makes me wonder. The problem porn star reminds me of other porn stars I know. There’s one (who I’ve fucked) a friend told me about the other day who’s deals and uses drugs. Apparently he’s progressed in his drug addiction to the point where he has paranoid spells – it’s just a matter of time before he comes to some tragic end (sad). Then there’s one who worked for me at one point who was a nice, personable guy but the more I got to know him the more I realized he lived in a fantasy world where he thought he could do what he wanted and somehow people would want to take care of him.

I’m not saying all porn stars are messy, but there are enough messy porn stars that I can’t imagine getting full-time into production – I don’t “suffer fools” very well. Porn production would just be an exercise in frustration. Now, the occasional amateur shoot – that could be hot – but even then I’ll encounter flakes, but at least I won’t be paying them…

UPDATE:

Right after I wrote this I saw the news that Whitney Houston died. People (hard) drugs lead to big problems. Yes, you might accomplish something and people may know you – and part of your creativity may come from the drugs. But ultimately they’re just not worth it. I hate to sound like Barbara Bush Nancy Reagan – but seriously, “Just Say No”.

I know some of you have been wondering what’s going on since updates on this site pretty much stopped… Well, it’s pretty simple actually… My bf and I bought a place a couple years ago (an old crack house), and renovations have been consuming a crazy amount of our time (even with a contractor doing all the work).

Bottom line – I haven’t had much time to fuck and haven’t even had enough time to keep up with my sites. The good news is that the end is in sight. I think the contractor will be pretty much done in 4 to 6 weeks – so hopefully we’ll be moved in by the end of February and things will return to normal. I actually miss my regular work (and regular fucks). I just want life to return to normal.

Our new place has a lot more space so there’s the possibility that I can host gangbangs and small sex parties, but there are complicating factors – so we’ll see whether I can do the gangbangs or not. Even if I can’t do gangbangs I can do a lot more videotaping of my fucks – so that’ll be fun.

One really good thing is that, while I’m still uptown, after the move I’ll be a lot closer to downtown. Where I am now I’m just on the A train. But the new place is close to 6 subway lines, 4 of which are express. So I can get to the Upper West Side, Hells Kitchen and Chelsea really quickly (and my tricks from there can get to me quickly).

I have taken a little time out for fun. I’ve fucked a few guys but there are whole months that go by when I don’t fuck anyone. Two hookups in particular stand out – both were in the new place – it’s cool hooking up in a place that’s under construction. In one case this muscle guy who’s almost always a top wanted me to fuck and fist him. It was hot even though I couldn’t manage to cum with him. In another case we had the fireplace working and this other muscle guy and I had sex in front of the fire.

Shooting Porn

I’ve tried to find porn companies to shoot in our place. I love Max Sohl (TIMFuck.com), but when it comes to adventuresome locations he’s a bit of a whimp – so he passed on shooting at our place. Dark Alley (RawFuckClub.com) has a big new expensive studio which they need to justify, so they passed too…

But BK from Forbidden Funk (BlackBreeders.com) shot a scene on that weekend when the (rather anticlimactic) hurricane hit the NYC. Unfortunately, while I did get to see the guys when they were off camera, I didn’t actually get to watch them fuck. They didn’t want people showing up in the background on the video – especially white guys 🙂

The scene featured Kane Rider getting tag teamed by two hot, big-dicked, black tops. I gotta say, I sorta fell in love with Kane. He’s a total exhibitionist. I think he stripped nude even before he was asked to. At the time there were no windows in the place and they kept having to tell him to step away from the windows so neighbors wouldn’t see him. His body was really hot. He’s a little guy (my favorite) with muscles in all the right places. He’s got these really powerful legs and from certain angles he looks particularly good – curvy in a very good way. BK oils up his models before the shoot – which made Kane look even hotter.

But the best part was that Kane seemed like a really sweet guy – sorta submissive, but not a passive sort of submissive – instead he was horny and eager to fuck – which is totally my type personality-wise. The funny part with Kane was he had hit me up on Twitter a month or so before said he was a fan, but when he was doing the shoot he knew I owned the place, but didn’t realize I was rawTOP until the end when I mentioned that he had send me a DM on Twitter.

The two tops fucking Kane were Champ Robinson (the darker top in the pics below) & Wade Stone (the lighter-skinned top). They were nice enough, and they had big dicks, but they were tops, so not really all that memorable given that I’m a top who’s mostly interested in bottoms. A top has to be over-the-top hot for me to really take note of him.

Here are some pics of the action – you can see the construction in the background… Wade started out with some pretty rough fingering while Kane serviced Champ’s dick, which of course lead to fucking…

 Wade’s fingering was so rough just after the 12 minute mark in the video you can see Kane bleeding as Wade fucks him. It’s sorta hot to think the tops’ DNA is going to get absorbed directly into Kane’s bloodstream and his dirty blood is the lube as he gets fucked. It’s not terribly clear in the picture below, but when you watch the video you see the bottom of Wade’s dick is all red with Kane’s blood. You can also see what looks like a tear in the pic below…

Moving on… Both Wade and Champ take turns on Kane’s bloody hole, then they take a breather and then they start fucking in the stairwell…

 Then they took another breather. I think it was during this breather when the guys were joking around and Kane was so horny he started bending over and sucking his own dick… Then went back at it – more or less one-on-one this time. There seemed to be really great chemistry between Wade and Kane – Kane did all sorts of acrobatics to get Wade’s load. Guess Kane likes rough tops 😉  Kane even shows off how he sucks his own dick… That’s one limber fuck boy!

 Of course, after that cum shot Wade sticks his cummy dick up Kane’s well-fucked hole. Given that Wade had Kane bleeding earlier in the shoot – Kane definitely got the full impact of the load 😉  Then when Wade was done with Kane’s hole, like a good slutty bottom boy Kane cleaned off Wade’s dick – making sure he absorbed every last drop of Wade’s dirty load.

Then Wade retired and Champ took over. Doesn’t seem Champ and Kane did much of any fucking – Kane gave Champ a blowjob and then they snowballed the load.

Then Kane jacked off. Kane’s a top in some other videos – but he was just a cumhole in this video.

While Champ and Kane were fucking I learned more about Wade – seems he’s in a serious committed relationship. I got the sense he’s a pretty stable / level-headed / professional sort of guy… Seems like he’s that ideal top so many bottoms want to have for a boyfriend – and he’s got a kinky sexual side to him as well.

You can see the full scene at BlackBreeders.com – it’s titled “Hard Labor”

Best part is, it looks like they’re going to do another, full-on 4 or 5 hour gangbang at our place in a few weeks – once again featuring Kane Rider as the cum dump bottom. I’d love to felch and fuck him after he’s taken all those loads – his ass will be so silky and wonderful, but I’m not sure the circumstances will permit that – but it would be sweet if it happened.

Dick Wadd (RawAndRough.com) has also inquired about shooting at our place this coming month. Given all the piss and other fluids that go flying in their videos I wasn’t quite sure I wanted them in the house until all the floors are sealed, etc. But apparently the sex just looks messy – they actually do a great job cleaning up after themselves. So hopefully that will happen as well.

2011 – Year in Review

Needless to say last year was slow. In fact the numbers were almost the same as 2006 (the first year I started tracking all my fucks) – which is pretty sad… I only had 36 hookups – 27 of them were with guys I hadn’t fucked before. And I only gave 23 loads. One load every two weeks is not good at all… But I knew the year was going to be like that. Unfortunately 2011 was the year when other things were more important than sex. That happens sometimes.

Going Forward – 2012

I was supposed to start the year on January 1 by fucking this guy who was visiting NYC, but the timing didn’t work out. It would have been fun – he’s a young guy who’s only recently started barebacking and he’s conflicted about it – he’s actually turned on by the idea of bug chasing, but also really scared about all the risk. It would have been a lot of fun to do mind fucks on him while fucking him, but it didn’t happen…

Unfortunately I’ve got another two months of chaos before I can get back in the swing of things. I’ve got a hotel reservation for MAL that I made months ago, but it looks like I’ll have to cancel (anyone need a nice corner room?). Even if I found the time to go I’d be too tired to really enjoy it. In late March I’m going to Phoenix (Tempe) for a porn conference – I’m thinking of organizing a gangbang or two while I’m there. And I’ve made a hotel reservation for IML – but I don’t know if I want to fly or drive. Flying was sort of a disaster last time – the police were called when the TSA agent thought my sex toy was a weapon. lol  The time before that I drove, but it’s a long two day drive. It’s relaxing at first, but then it gets sort of boring – especially on the way back. If someone wanted to do the drive with me, it would make it more interesting (any volunteers?)

In terms of the sites, once the chaos is over there’s a whole bunch of stuff I want to do. I think you guys will really like the enhancements – a couple quality bareback tube sites, plus enhancements to Breeding Zone to make it easier to find and hookup with other guys.

Load 2010-1

UPDATE: Remembered a few more details, so I changed the post…

A lot as happened since Saturday morning, but I’ll try my best to remember the details. My bottom had taken three loads in pretty rapid succession the night before and we had a gangbang scheduled for 2pm on Saturday with over 100 tops expressing an interest in coming. However, the gangbang of another cumhole the night before was a bit of a dud, so I wasn’t sure how things would go…

I didn’t sleep well that night and got up feeling tired. One of the lessons I learned at IML was to eat properly so you don’t get run down, so I went to breakfast (the bottom said he didn’t want to eat). I had a full breakfast with cold runny eggs, cold french toast, etc. – it was pretty lame, but it got food into my system.

I wanted to videotape me fucking the bottom, so I set up the lights and got the camera ready… For a few reasons my dick just wasn’t into it. It was hot, I was tired, and I think my digesting food didn’t help either. So we took a break. However, I did notice a certain hesitation on the part of the bottom about being videotaped. I couldn’t have been more clear when we were discussing the weekend. I was paying the room charges and finding tops to fuck him in exchange for him letting me videotape him. I was fine with him wearing a hood, but me videotaping him was a given (so I thought)…

The bottom then decided he was hungry so he went for breakfast. While he was downstairs eating there was a knock on the door. I had been giving out the room number and wondered who the guy was here for. He was young and lean and pretty hot so I had him come in. We started playing together and he just wasn’t responding when I touched his ass, so I asked if he had been chatting with a top or a bottom and he said a bottom. Now mind you, I looked nothing like the bottom – I’m not sure why he didn’t say something sooner. So I texted my bottom and told him he had a top waiting for him and then I played the role of cocksucker to keep the guy happy and in the room while the bottom got back. Frankly, I did a lot more cocksucking than I’m usually comfortable with and he said he almost blew his load a few times, but I was purposely just trying to edge him and not let him cum since while I love the taste of cum, I wanted the load up my bottom’s ass, not down my throat.

Finally the bottom got back and it was just in time ’cause the guy was literally ready to blow. The bottom started giving him a blowjob but I told him he was ready to blow so the bottom just bent over the bed and took the guy’s dick and since I had been edging him for 15 minutes or so he blew in the bottom’s ass pretty quickly.

After that another top came by and fucked him and blew in his ass. I was sitting and jacking my dick and seeing him take a load got me boned. So now that he had 2 loads in him I got up and started fucking him. I suggested putting our hoods on and turning on the video camera but he talked me out of him. Later he said he was worried it would interrupt the flow and I accepted the explanation, but now I wonder if it was just avoidance…

So I just kept fucking him. His hole felt good and it was getting me off that he was taking loads… It wasn’t long before I blew my load up his hole. The last time I came had been Thursday, so it was a big load. When the other top had gone the bottom seemed really happy.

Then another top came by a little while later and the bottom took a 4th load – all before the gangbang… So now he was up to 7 loads.