Safe Sex Guy Goes Off On Me On Manhunt
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18 June 2008 | 7 Comments
HIM:
how many give you shit for your profile?
ME:
very very few these days. 3 or 4 years ago that was different – guys would get nasty if i even complimented them on their pics…
HIM:
that’s unfortunate.
how do you do it man? so adamantly work against the safe sex movement with such pride?
I can’t help but detect you gloating about the amount how aren’t speaking up to you-the younger generation is in trouble due to men like you..
ME:
how i have sex is between me and the guys i fuck. i’m upfront about what i’m looking for. i’ve done my research and know the facts usually better than people who use rubbers…
here’s how i look at it… people drive in cars and don’t think twice about it, but public highways are one of the most dangerous places in the world. people speed, they drive when they’re tired… it’s all really dangerous.
people skydive, people bungee jump off bridges… they do all these things because they make their lives more enjoyable.
so why is the safe sex crowd think sex should be different than any other part of a person’s life? they’re ok with straight people barebacking and having unwanted children – why is it that gay sex is so horrible that we have to have a completely different standard for it?
bottom line – it’s a personal choice.
HIM:
just because protease inhibitors exist doesn’t mean you can spit on the graves of the 100s of thousands who died. It doesn’t mean you can encourage those who are less educated than others that barebacking is acceptable. It doesn’t mean that 14, 15, 16 year olds who are coming out should consider this an option…have all the one-on-one, group-on-group personal choices you want- but the broadcasting of this is dangerous.
Despite what you may think- the message isn’t out there loudly enough. Trust me, I understand your stance on personal choice- but you purposely put fetish around it, you enjoy the luring other people to think and act like you do. The personal choices of 18 year olds wouldn’t necessarily be their choices at 20 or 22 or 30 and so on…why jeopardize would-be negative men..
you’re creating a dangerous environment- don’t assume people are as wise as you.
ME:
i had a lover die of AIDS in early ’95… i don’t need the lecture. i’m guessing you’re young enough you haven’t had someone close to you die. until you have, that’s a trump card you don’t have the right to play.
even people in public health call the era we’re in “the post AIDS era”… it’s not like it was before ’96 – not even close…
the safe sex message is failing because the people promoting it don’t seem genuine. they’re saying the same things they were saying 20 years ago and don’t acknowledge that things have changed. it’s not my responsibility to do their job for them.
in contrast bareback porn is honest – it shows obviously poz guys fucking the way they fuck at home and at sex clubs. i take it you know i’m a blogger – blogs like mine are honest too… people respond to that honesty. don’t get on my case for honesty… get on the case of the safe sex crowd for not being honest.
HIM:
Yes, I have had a friend and mentor die of AIDS. Despite the myriads of men I know living with it and wish they weren’t.
Can I play that card now?
Yes you’re honest. I’ll give you that.
It just saddens me that you’re shrugging this off and that people are following in your footsteps. Weak strain, heavy strain. It’s all a lottery – not everything can be “hot” all the time.
goodbye now- I do appreciate your response.
ME:
You know it’s weird… I’ve never had a poz guy tell me they really hate being poz (at least none that have been poz for a while and have adjusted to it). I don’t see poz bloggers really talking about it either. And on top of everything it seems at least some poz tops really get off breeding neg bottoms…
The situation is not black and white…
I need to qualify that last bit… The guys I know either 1) don’t tell me they’re poz, or 2) don’t talk about what it’s like to be poz. Years ago they used to… If it comes up at all these days it’s brushed off. Maybe they don’t think a neg guy would understand – or they don’t want to go into it – or their lives just don’t revolve around he issue anymore – I don’t know…
And I’m sure there’s some blogger out there somewhere who talks about what it’s like to be poz. I know Geek Slut did from time to time (his blog is offline right now). He’d mention when his doctor changed his meds and it would sorta knock him for a loop.
I’m not saying poz guys have it easy. I’m saying that I’m neg and it’s not my job to communicate the experiences of poz guys. They can start their own blogs or comment on blogs like this one (starting their own is the best way to get credibility – far better than “dropping bombs” on blogs like this one). Fred Mayer is starting a new cam site and blog. I’m really hoping he’ll fill in some of this void with his blog…
Did you also notice how the guy above seems to think I don’t have a right to talk about my sex life and my opinions? Damn! That’s a pefect example of political correctness gone completely wrong.
He’s probably also a republican.
“here’s how i look at it… people drive in cars and don’t think twice about it… …people skydive, people bungee jump off bridges… “
people use seat bells and other safety measures, bungee jumping is supervised by trained people. they are all trying to make it be safer. condoms do that too, they arent bulletproof. but the main difference is that they dont jeopardize other people as barebackers do by spreading stuff around.
if we look it statistically all barebackers will get hiv at some time, sooner or later, risk of transmission grows exponentially. they will die sooner then they would by staying hiv-, for most of them life will be A LOT harder.
i respect that choice for people who know they are making it. most of them don’t.
@zokiboy – True, I wear a seat belt when I drive, my car has something like 7 airbags, anti-lock brakes, traction control and AWD… Unlike condoms, none of those things reduce the pleasure of driving so I don’t mind them. But even with those things people still die and get maimed in car accidents.
Not all barebackers will get HIV. It’s far from certain for total tops, and there’s the 1% of Western Europeans who won’t get it… For some people it’s unclear whether they will die earlier… The people who are dying tend to get diagnosed late or have had earlier medications do bad things to their bodies…
Everyone in the US who barebacks knows they’re taking a risk. Probably more so than people who drive in cars who don’t realize how much risk they’re taking by doing so…
It’s all about what a person feels is the right level of “acceptable risk” for them. It will never be a constant that applies to everyone equally.
Pleasure is very difficult to define. For me bareback was only more pleasurable with some guys but after being treated for std several times I dont find it worth it anymore… maybe in ltr.
Statistically, for a bareback top after 1000 anal intercourses with pozz he has 50% chance of being infected with hiv, assuming no stds and no condom.
most of people you fuck have hiv, and you know that they have a lot bigger chance of having it because they are bottoms.
maybe ppl in us know the level of risk… i’m from europe. most ppl who want bareback with me dont know them, if you start the subject about condoms they put you on ignore list, others are just reckless, they feel like they had it bareback several times before nothing bad happened why now reach for condom
btw thanks for the reply
Personal choice? Now YOU are the one sounding like the republican 🙂
AND, I agree with you.
@stopNgoBeau – Republicans don’t believe in personal choice! They’re against abortion, against choosing to be out and gay, against choosing to be something other than a devout Christian or Jew – the list goes on and on…
If anything I sound like a Libertarian…
@rawTOP – OK, I’ll give you that. I am what the Republicans SHOULD be by their original intent. That has greatly changed, as we all well know. I’d be a libertarian if they had much clout.