I’m feeling like shit this week since I’m taking some nasty pills to get rid of parasites (don’t know if I got them from rimming or ’cause some restaurant worker didn’t wash his hands after going to the bathroom). As a result, don’t think I’ll be hooking up until the weekend.

So to keep you entertained, here’s Wanda Sykes’ thoughts on gay marriage…

Remember – BE POLITICAL! If we don’t ask for equality, no one’s going to give it to us…

The other night “friend of a friend” came over to hang out. He and my boyfriend were doing tequila shots plus drinking wine, so they were pretty drunk… Somehow the fact that I had been an escort many years ago came up. That was followed by someone labeling me a “whore” and the other person basically agreed. They didn’t mean it in the pay-for-sex literal kind of way as much as he meant to say I was a slut…

But I don’t really think of myself as a “whore” or a “slut”, though I do fuck guys in dark rooms and anonymous sex gets my dick hard fast… I don’t know – you guys read the blog… Am I a slut (or a whore)?

Then last night when I was fucking the Brazillian guy we got on the subject of body types. We were talking about sex parties and how there were some for “big guys”, and another one for “men” that his boyfriend went to had some guys who were overweight attending it. I mentioned that I consider myself “stocky” and want to get to the point where I’m just “beefy”, and that I didn’t know if I qualified for either “bear” or “cub” at this point. He didn’t understand the difference between stocky and beefy, so I said to me “beefy” was having a little bit of fat over your muscles but no real belly, whereas “stocky” was having a belly, and “chubby” was having a pronounced belly, and “fat” was just, well… fat…

But if that’s beefy/stocky/chubby/fat, where do “cubs” and “bears” fall into that picture? To me they’re partly differentiated by age, with younger guys being cubs and older guys being bears, but I also think of cubs as being somewhat leaner… I also don’t ever think of cubs as being tops, but maybe that’s just me… And to me the “ideal bear” is also hairy, and masculine. In my mind I can’t see labeling myself a cub, but I don’t think I’m heavy enough to be a bear either. I feel like I’m in between labels on this one and “stocky” is the only thing that fits. Guys who really like bears might call me a bear – but I’m definitely on the lean side of “bear”…

Speaking of cubs and bears – the related label that’s pretty well defined is “otter” – a lean hairy guy who’s probably into leather.

The other thing I asked the Brazilian guy was whether he’d describe me as a “dom top”. I’ve never really felt like I fit that description. I think of “dom tops” as being pretty forceful. I just manage to get my way. He thought I was pretty dominant though since I come across as pretty stern and serious. That much is about right since I don’t really want to talk or be all that affectionate until after I’ve given the bottom my load…

The other label that seems pretty well defined but very few people who qualify want to embrace is “bug chaser”. I’ve had a number of guys recently who admit to being HIV negative and taking poz loads in their ass, but follow that up by “but I’m not a bug chaser”… In many cases they’re even turned on by the idea of getting a poz load and they’re excited when they find out (usually after the fact) that a load they just got in their ass is poz, but since they don’t want to become poz they don’t think of themselves as “bug chasers”. In other words, they’ve defined the “bug chaser” label as someone who wants to become poz – they don’t want to become poz, they just want the thrill of getting poz cum in their ass, so they think they’re not a bug chaser. Umm… “distinction without a difference”? At the same time I know exactly what they mean.

And for god’s sake “VGL” has got to be the worst label of all… I mean beauty is in the eye of the beholder, some may say bears are “VGL”, where others would think the same bear is a disgusting old guy…

Labels are a funny thing… Can’t live without them, but they often raise more questions than they answer…

Last night I wrote a post saying I think most “neg” bareback bottoms are actually poz. Now today the big news is that poz bottoms are now neg… At least in Switzerland…

OK, not exactly, but… This one is big, so pay attention…

[See the update at the end of this post…]

The Swiss Federal Commission for HIV / AIDS has put out their first ever consensus statement saying they all agree that HIV-positive individuals on effective antiretroviral therapy and without sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are sexually non-infectious.

That’s right – you can’t get HIV from a poz guy if all of the following are true:

• the person adheres to antiretroviral therapy, the effects of which must be evaluated regularly by the treating physician
• the viral load has been suppressed (<>
• there are no other sexually transmitted infections

That’s huge… They’re comparing this pronouncement to the statement many years ago that you can’t get HIV by kissing someone. It’s impossible to prove it for certain, but they’re unable to find any evidence that it’s wrong.

This has a lot of implications. In yesterday’s post I was saying that I didn’t think barebacking with poz bottoms was all that much more risky than barebacking with neg bottoms since the neg bottoms could have just converted and be highly infectious – looks like I was right on target – at least for guys who have been poz for a while and are on meds.

It also has implications for serodiscordant (poz/neg) relationships… Those couples can now breathe a sigh of relief – and even “safely” bareback each other. They just have to keep on top of those viral loads and avoid STDs for both partners.

But curiously it puts the burden for protecting the community onto the poz guys. I worry a little bit that there will be a pressure for poz guys to take meds earlier and earlier to get viral loads down to absolute zero and stay there. I’m not sure that’s completely fair, but the flip side is that I expect this will have poz guys feeling a bit better about the social implications of being poz.

And I’m guessing you’ll start seeing “undetectable for X months” in profiles to signal to neg guys that the poz guy is “safe”. In a way, this almost makes the poz guy safer than some neg guys to have sex with since the risk is more controlled and predictable. Wouldn’t it be weird if neg guys started preferring poz guys ’cause it was safer than it is with neg guys…

This does change the whole landscape of “safe sex”. Any guesses how long it will take the “condom nazis” to pick up on this news?

UPDATE:

The news is now out a day later that the Swiss researchers only looked at studies with heterosexuals in drawing their conclusions. So presumably most of the sex behind the studies was vaghttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifinal sex, not anal. [What were they thinking?]

So what does this mean for us gay guys giving and getting cum up the ass? I think the straight studies are parallels. In other words, if you can say conclusively that straight bareback sex with a poz partner is “safe” then you can say that gay sex with a poz partner is “relatively low risk”. In other words what they’ve shown is that the viral load of the poz partner makes a difference. That’s not going to change for gay guys, but it may not reduce the risk down to, or close to, zero in our case.

For me, it’s about relative risk and I still feel comfortable in hooking up with poz guys with undetectable viral loads. It may not be zero risk, but it’s relatively low risk and consistent. You’ll each need to make your own decisions. Hopefully they’ll look at the data for anal sex and give us a statement on that as well…

UPDATE 2: Please see my post on the video one of the authors of the statement gave…

The other night there was a party listed on BarebackRT.com – the “neg” gangbang bottom I had fucked twice last year (1, 2) listed himself as being at a private club “with ass in the air for all nasty top breeders”. Now I’ve watched his profiles and posts on Craigslist over the past year and almost without a fault he says he’s neg and looking for neg tops. He’s consistent which is one of the ways I’ve tried to figure out if bottoms are really neg.

But the last time I fucked him there were guys fucking him who looked pretty poz to me. Yeah, I know you can’t always tell, but please… The guy’s there with a blindfold on letting as many guys as possible cum in his ass for over two hours…

This time the first guy on his approved list of party attendees was a guy who’s profile said he was a poz versatile bottom, and when I inquired about the party it was at one of the sex clubs downtown that was previously said to be closed, but apparently now open from time to time… He’s obviously not screening the tops – he’s just laying ass up taking all the loads he can get – and given the crowd most of them are poz. Yet his profile says he’s neg and he’s looking for “neg only”. I just don’t get that – he’d get more loads if he dropped the “neg only” part…

Then there’s the latin bottom who told me he took a 110 loads last year at MAL. Whether you believe the number or not, once again he’s an anonymous bottom who advertises constantly on Craigslist and it’s safe to say he’s getting a lot of cum in his ass. Yet his Manhunt profile says he’s neg.

Then there was the bottom near where I used to work who answered a direct question before I hooked up with him the first time and said he was neg. Then later backtracked and said “that’s a scary question” when I asked him again a few months later.

Then there was the guy I talked to online who’s Manhunt profile said he was neg, but who quickly told me he was actually poz – that he just didn’t want friends knowing he was poz. At least he was up front about it…

Then there was the poz guy who said he only liked to hookup with neg tops because he thought he was less likely to get STDs…

The scenarios go on and on…

So I’ve come to the conclusion that most “neg” bb bottoms are actually poz. Well, at least the ones who are actively barebacking. Sure there are some who I think are genuinely neg, but they tend to be so skittish about hooking up that it’s rare for me to actually fuck one of them. When I do get to fuck one, they tend to be in relationships and hooking up with guys they think are neg… The Brazilian guy falls into that category. Or they’ve been fantasizing about taking a load and I’m one of their first raw loads – ’cause they’re trying to experiment “safely”.

While I’d love to think serosorting is the answer for me, the fact of the matter is that it just doesn’t provide enough bottoms to fuck. I mean the other night I was trying to hookup with two different neg bottoms and both of them fell through, which didn’t surprise me at all. Compare that to poz bottoms which will come right over as soon as you ask.

Even when I’m asking bottoms if they’re neg, I wind up fucking poz bottoms. So yeah, I’ll continue to go out of my way to fuck guys I think are genuinely HIV negative – but frankly, since I’m fucking poz bottoms one way or the other, I’ve stopped ruling out bottoms just because they say they’re poz – after all that’s just punishing them for being honest and rewarding the ones that lie. Plus, there are some really hot poz bottoms out there who are incredible fucks – for some guys once they test poz they seem to really crave taking loads which takes the sexual energy up a few notches…

My risk might be a little higher now, but I’m still OK with my level of risk and won’t freak out if I become poz. I’ll probably just get tested every 6 months or so instead of every year just to do a better job of protecting a few of the neg bottoms who are taking my cum…

Now a word to the true neg bottoms out there. There have been two neg bottoms that I’ve known about who I’ve fucked and a few years later wound up getting stealth bred. In one case the guy just lied. In the other case it was an occasional fuck buddy who knew he became poz, knew the bottom was neg, didn’t say anything, and continued to fuck him. In other words, it’s not just poz bottoms who are lying about their status.

I got a lot of heat for my post saying a cum-addicted young neg bottom might think about getting himself pozzed with a mild strain of HIV – but honestly, given what I’ve seen, I don’t think there are a lot of other realistic options out there for someone who really feels the urge to get cum in his ass on a regular basis.

To the other neg bottoms who bareback now and then… I don’t want to make you even more skittish than you already are (you’re hard enough to hookup with in the first place), but just be aware of what you’re doing and be comfortable with your decisions.

Then there’s the neg bottom, in a relationship, who describes himself as “not a bug chaser” who wants me to arrange lots of tops (including poz tops) to fuck him at IML… But that’s a subject for another post…

CLARIFICATION:

A reader wrote me and said the following:

hey there. i really like reading your blog and have been for a while. i see alot of my self in ur blog. i have noticed over the last 6 months or so u have seem to have becum a lot more relaxed. ur not as scared as poz. the same with me. i agree with what u told those neg bttms.

i also get the sense ur ready to convert. u won’t chase but ur ready to move things up to the next level where the chances r better. i know i have. i also think about what it is like to be a poz top shooting that poz load.

Let me make this clear – my level of risk hasn’t changed all that much. 10+ years ago I’d bareback guys who laid on their stomachs in their rooms at bathhouses – probably 5 or 6 a week – in hindsight, most of them were poz. I’m still doing similar stuff now – only more 1-on-1 which actually lowers my risk because I’m not hooking up with multiple guys per night – more like 1 or 2 a week (or less). And some of the guys I hookup with really are neg – which lowers my risk even further.

So things may have changed over the past 4 or 5 years, but they’re just back closer to where they were 10 years ago.

And I’m definitely not “ready to convert”. In fact I expect I’ll be neg for quite a while longer…

UPDATE:

One other important point one of the reader comments made me realize I’d left out of the post… Guys are a lot more infectious right after they convert than they are years later when they’re on meds. From that perspective barebacking neg bottoms is a bit more of a minefield than you might expect. Sure, most of the time your risk is near zero (if they’re really neg), but then you get the one who doesn’t know he just converted who’s super-infectious. Long-term poz guys on meds with low viral loads are just a constant, low level of risk… To me it seems like a bit of a toss up, and I’m not certain, when all’s said and done, that I’m taking that much more risk barebacking poz bottoms.

UPDATE #2:

A panel of experts in Switzerland has come out with the statement that you can’t get HIV by having sex with a poz person who has an undetectable viral load and no STDs. So the irony after this whole post is that some poz guys are effectively neg. And in some cases it’s no big deal that the poz guys are saying they’re neg, ’cause it’s as safe to have sex with them as it is with a neg guy.

But one way or the other it definitely confirms “update #1” and my being OK with barebacking at least some poz guys…

Our freedoms don’t come cheap. In the Western world we may be fighting for things like bathhouses and backrooms at bars, but in other countries they fight for things that are a lot more basic – namely the right to live.

The kids in this photo are teenagers and they’re being executed for being gay…

The photo is from 2005 when two gay teens (14 and 16 years old) were executed in Iran for being gay. Now two more (Hamzeh Chavi and Loghman Hamzehpour – 18 and 19 years old) have been arrested and it looks like they might be executed as well… And to make matters worse, the news on the issue is pretty limited… I found out about it on a blog that usually has X-rated pics of muscle guys. It’s just sad that those of us promoting sex and porn are more interested in this than the mainstream press.

There is a petition you can sign urging the UNHCR to do something about the situation. While it might be a pipe dream to think we can stop the executions, it can’t hurt to sign it…

But the real issue is gay rights around the globe. It doesn’t surprise me that Iran is executing gay guys, but for all the progress we’ve supposedly made in the West, it shocks me that there isn’t more of an outcry about this. If you think you’ve got gay rights, think again…

The reason why we need deeply entrenched gay rights in the West is so our governments will act when they see these types of things in other countries. We need asylum policies that are generous to gay people facing persecution. We need our governments to pull strings and offer countries like Iran a way to not execute the men, but still save face (like deportation to a western country with lots of negative rhetoric. Hell, give them a beating and then give them to us – whatever it takes to keep them alive).

I doubt the Bush administration would think twice about doing anything. Even Canada with it’s liberal policies has a government led by Robert Harper – a Conservative who came in promising his fellow conservatives that he’d put gay marriage up for another vote to try to get rid of it.

The actions of our western governments matter a great deal. It sickens me that Bush was elected not just once, but twice – that our rights in this country have gone backwards over the past 8 years. Ironically Iran has one of the few somewhat democratic governments in the Middle East. But instead of our government doing what it can to quietly support the more liberal, educated elements in Iran, Bush labeled them “The Axis of Evil” and isolated them even further. That actually helped the conservative elements in Iran take back power – and guess what – Iranian gays started getting executed under the more conservative government. Who we elect as our President does have a huge effect on gay rights around the globe. Any of you “Log Cabin Republicans” should be ashamed of yourself. Your vote for George W. is helping kill these kids in Iran…

Until we have true equality, we have to be political – even little things can add up and make a real difference. Whether it’s shutting down bathhouses, or not being allowed to marry – don’t just sit there and take it. When you see the opportunity to say or do something – do it… And for god’s sake – don’t vote Republican in the elections this year!

Get this one… The great city of Memphis (where I had less than stellar success finding bottoms to fuck earlier this year) has just passed a law that requires everyone working in adult businesses to be licensed at a cost of about $198 the first year and $113 every year after that. The licensing process includes a criminal background check. So if you’ve ever been arrested for prostitution, you won’t be allowed to be a stripper – which is funny ’cause some might see prostitution as a job requirement for strippers. And if you’ve ever been arrested for “distribution of obscene materials” you can’t even work as a cashier in an adult video store. Isn’t the point of video stores to distribute obscene materials? The list goes on and on and the implications are pretty funny…

But the other thing about the law is that it creates a bit of a scarlet letter – permanently branding anyone in the sex industry with a public record of the job they had to take to support themselves and their kids. That’s just wrong – we’re headed into some iffy economic times and some mothers (who aren’t prostitutes) are going to become strippers to support their kids, and their stripping will now follow them around forever…

The problem is, I’d guess they’ll get away with it just like Giuliani got rid of sex shops through stricter zoning.

But the ultimate irony is this is happening in the same state where 40 year old, married, Tennessee Highway Patrolman James Randy Moss got a slap on the wrist (4 years probation, and loss of his job) for accepting a blowjob from porn star Barbie Cummings when he pulled her over for going 20 miles over the speed limit.