Grrrr… I just got stood up by a sub bottom and it’s not the first time he’s done shit like this… When I was first trying to hookup with him he’d cancel at the last minute, but he hasn’t done that in quite a while. He hasn’t been as eager as I’d like, but he hasn’t told me one thing and done another in quite a while.

The bottom is actually the bottom I fucked a couple of years ago with my PA. He was getting gangbanged and I think I sorta tore him up inside and he couldn’t really take dick after that. Then one of the tops told him he wasn’t really neg – that he was poz (making the fact that I tore him up a little more significant)… There was a lot of drama and the bottom didn’t really like the things I said when I wrote up the encounter. For a while he didn’t want anything to do with me, but then he finally came back for more – deep down he needed it.

Anyway, that fuck was one I videotaped – here it is…

And here’s an earlier video I did of him…

So here’s how it went down this time… He hits me up on BBRT and wishes me Happy Pride. I ask him if he’s looking and can host, he says ‘probably’ and asks if I’ve pissed yet (he likes to get pissed on). I tell him I can come over pretty much right away (he’s within easy walking distance). And he says “thats up to u SIR. [Whether I drink a bunch so I can piss on him.] or u can just come over and dump a quick load in me SIR. u tested recently?” I avoid the question about my status (just to sorta play a head game with him), and say “give me your address and i’ll come over now”. There’s a bit of a delay and he finally says “sorry SIR – could u answer my question SIR? have u been tested recently SIR?” Since he pushes the issue I answer – “last test was january. it was neg.” He comes back with “understood SIR. thank u for answering SIR. XXX west XXXrd street SIR. #XX. hole will be lubed for you SIR. no pa, right?” I tell him I’ll take the PA out to fuck him. He thanks me and says he wishes he got my 6 day load. I tell him he’ll be getting a 3 day load and it’ll be plenty big and thick. I get dressed and head over.

When I get to his place I press the buzzer. No response. I press again. No response. Then I call him and it goes to voicemail. I leave a rather terse message. Then I ring the buzzer a few more times. Then I text him. Finally I login to BBRT and see he’s left me a message… “actually SIR – just found a load a little closer and ready now. so gonna cancel on u – im sorry!” The little shit… I know it’s a lie – that he’s in his apartment listening to me ringing his bell and calling him. But there’s no point waiting, so I leave.

He finally responds to my text and among other things says “i have no good excuse but i really do apologize SIR.” He’s obviously a Catholic and doesn’t realize he’s dealing with a Protestant. Protestants only care about actions – apologies that aren’t accompanied with action are meaningless and sorta insulting. I give him an earful and tell him I’m just 4 blocks away – I can come back. I mean it’s one thing to get cold feet and that was his chance to redeem himself. He apologizes some more but doesn’t take me up on my offer to redeem himself. I tell him he should be a better sub than that and that next time he’s getting fucked with the PA as punishment. I know he doesn’t like it, but he can endure it… Seems like a good way to get back at him. He then gets back to me with more of an explanation…

i don’t have a good explanation SIR, like i said. i am actually in formal training with a master now to be a better slave SIR, and for the first time i just dug in my heels and disobeyed a direct order from him SIR. he has already told me i will be punished quite severely SIR. i am truly sorry to have let both of u down. i don’t know why i did it SIR. i am sure that he will correct the matter and you will have full access to my hole any time you need it in the future SIR. in spite of my behavior today, he is an excellent master SIR and has been training me well.

I’d love to be there when he gets punished. I don’t think he’s all that much into pain, but it would be sorta fun to take a whip to him and then fuck him in with the PA and dump a big load in his abused hole.

At the root of the problem is the fact that he’s a submissive cumdump who wants to stay neg. I think his misgivings about tops is what makes him disobey. Honestly, I think his life would make a lot more sense if he were poz. Being poz just sorta fits with where his head is at sexually. But it’s the conflict between the two that’s at the root of all of this. He wants to submit, but he’s concerned about the implications.

We’ll see what happens next…