Well, I’ve Kept The Gym Up For A Year Now

11 June 2015 | 1 Comment

A year ago I started back to the gym after more than 10 years of not going. I wasn’t quite sure how I’d do. I mean in the past I’d start back and then quit. This time I just tried to make a habit of it and never let it get to the point where it felt like work. I mean walking 12 blocks in the freezing cold in the dead of winter wasn’t fun, but I did manage to keep it up. I’m averaging going at least 3-4 days a week.

Improving how I looked was only one of the reasons I went back. I was seriously worried about my cardiac health. My father (who’s in his 90s) has had all sorts of problems and I saw myself repeating his health history. I’ve been on meds for hypertension for 12 years now. I got winded too easily (e.g. going up stairs). And there were little things like really cold hands and feet in winter that made me think my circulation isn’t as good as it should be. And then I read that erectile dysfunction is a sign of heart health problems. Anyway, I needed to take care of my body or I wasn’t going to have a very good next few decades.

At first I was hitting the gym pretty hard and doing rather long workouts that completely wore me out. As I was studying workout technique videos on YouTube I realized that I’d do better if I did shorter workouts. Some guys were saying never do more than 12 sets in a workout – and that is about the time when I start hitting the wall. Then I realized that >20 min of cardio actually can start burning muscle and so I reduced cardio as well.

The results the past year aren’t nearly as dramatic as even 6 months of working out when I was 29, but there is progress. By the numbers I haven’t changed all that much… I’ve only lost 1.9 pounds in the past year. BUT that’s made up of 2.4 pounds of fat (lost), and half a pound of muscle (gained). AND, more importantly, I stopped gaining weight.

So here are the before and after pics…

Before going back to the gym 1 year - frontal

Before pic after one year - angled

The change is more dramatic in person than it is in the pictures. People are saying I look different – more athletic. I can fit into medium t-shirts that weren’t an option before. The mediums are tight, but they’re an option. And I feel a difference –here’s just more muscle under all that fat than there used to be, and my cardiac stamina has improved. But even the pics show things like the lines that were defining the bottom of my gut are going away, and my waist (the narrow part just below my rib cage) is getting smaller.

My goal at this point is to be fit by the age of 50 (in 2 1/2 years) and do it in a way that’s completely maintainable. To quote Richard Simmons I want to “live it, not diet”. I was hoping I could get there by now (after a year), but that didn’t happen. At least I’m going in the right direction.

So little by little I’m getting there…

Married Neg Bottom Took My Load w/o Knowing My Status

9 June 2015 | 2 Comments

Load 2015-16

Yes, there was a load 15 – it was given at a sex party and fairly unremarkable – didn’t even see the bottom’s face – he was just bent over begging for my load. He had a rather beefy ass which isn’t usually my thing, but his hole felt good, and so I didn’t hold back when I felt my orgasm cumming.

But the fuck today was sorta cool. This guy hit me up on BBRT. He wasn’t totally my type but close enough and he was relatively close (in the same zip code, but about as far away as you can get and still be “0 miles” away according to BBRT). I noticed his profile said “Status: Negative” and he also mentioned that fact in his profile. But his “Looking For” was “No Preference”. So just from that he seemed a bit conflicted on the issue of HIV status.

My status on BBRT is “Don’t Care”. I’m on PrEP, but honestly if I became poz it wouldn’t be a big deal. I mean I guess I care enough to take PrEP, but beyond that I really don’t care.

So I told him to come over and then he asked if I’d pull out. I say no rather emphatically. Then he asks if I’m poz. I tell him I’ll answer that after my load is in his ass. I mean whether I’m neg or poz really doesn’t matter. Most poz guys are on meds and incapable of infecting anyone (it takes a viral load >1000 to do that and “undetectable” is <50). I figured my refusal to state my status would scare him off, but it didn’t. He was still willing to let me fuck him and breed him.

He came over, we got naked, and I saw a gold band on his finger – so he was married – and yet there he was going around taking loads from guys without knowing their status. Hmmmm… Then for some reason he asks if I’m piggy. I say “yeah”… So he’s now taking a load from a guy he knows is a pig, which has got to up the odds of him thinking I’m poz.

When I went to pushed my cock in it hurt him and he pulled off my dick. Then he flipped over on his back but that didn’t really feel all that great on my cock (and I prefer not to look at the bottom in the eyes when I’m fucking him), so once he had gotten comfortable with my cock I flipped him over.

I hadn’t cum in like 4-5 days and I’d been edging on and off most of that time, so I came fairly quickly and it was a pretty big load (from what I could tell). Then I slowly pumped in an out of his ass for a while before finally pulling out. He didn’t rush to the bathroom or anything. He just laid there and let the load absorb into him.

Finally I asked him “So what answer were you hoping to that question?” And he said “Neg”. He may have said “Neg”, but I knew the risk he just took was a big turn on for him. I told him I was neg and on PrEP and gave him a gentle lecture on how status isn’t important – what’s important is whether the guy is on meds – PrEP or ARVs. He seemed to know all that, but the fact remained that he took my load without knowing my status while saying he “wanted to stay neg”. I bet he tells his husband that he’s being monogamous or at least “really careful”. Yeah, right…

He never did try to expel the load. He left with all of it up his gut. And he doesn’t really know whether I was telling the truth or not. I mean I did sorta asked him what answer he wanted before telling him my answer. People have a habit of trusting me. That could have gotten him in a world of trouble today…

As much as I believe in PrEP and think it will bring down the number of HIV infections, I don’t think we’ll ever bring HIV infections down to zero. Some guys just have a dark attraction to HIV. That said it’s increasingly difficult to find unmedicated poz guys. The studies are showing the benefits of going on treatment sooner rather than later, and once a guy is undetectable it’s impossible for him to transmit the virus. It’s a bit like how vaccines have a “herd immunity” effect even if they don’t work on a particular individual, the individual is still protected.

Zack Sire – The Nasty Queen Who Thinks I Shouldn’t Have Any Privacy

3 June 2015 | 1 Comment

This past week has been a tumultuous one for the porn industry. A week ago today a porn blogger named Zach SireZach Sire Smiling (see photo to the right and below) did a post where he “outed” a fellow gay blogger – the blogger behind Queer Me Now (who I’ll refer to as QMN for the rest of the article). The whole thing was really petty – QMN had won “best porn blog” two years in a row at the Grabbies and Zach apparently felt he should have won, so he set out to destroy the life of QMN. I don’t use that phrase lightly. QMN is from “a certain Asian country” where porn is illegal and QMN could literally go to jail if the authorities know who he is (a fact Zach knew and mentioned in his attack on QMN). AND it wasn’t just jail – thanks to Zach everyone now knows that QMN has a rather respectable mainstream career as well – one that could get obliterated if people found out he was a gay porn blogger.

But let me stop and give you a little background. QMN and Zach have two very different approaches to porn blogging. QMN is an adoring fan who writes about what he loves. Zach does some porn blogging, but he also has a section that’s basically a gossip column – he just seems to love exposing people’s dirt.  Any time a porn star goes to jail, he covers it. Anytime anyone says nasty about someone else in the porn biz, he covers it. Basically he uses that part of his site to kick people when they’re down and revel in other people’s misery. Which is why I think he’s earned the label ‘bitchy queen’ and ‘mean girl’ many times over.

I’ve sat and chatted with QMN at two industry events and he’s one of the sweetest guys you’ll ever meet. Most everyone in the industry knows him and loves him. So when Zach attacked him there was a huge backlash. A guy named Danny brought it to everyone’s attention. Over the years Danny has run a whole bunch of different porn sites for producers (everything from Asian stuff to HDK to Titan). He’s also a really sweet guy who lived in Asia for years and knows what Zach’s post could mean for QMN. Then Dominic Ford picked up the baton. He’s a porn star / producer who started a business a few years back to fight illegal content on tube sites. So he’s used to dealing with “bad players” in the industry and has contacts with just about every medium to large studio in the biz.

Zach Sire What?Anyway, I won’t bore you with all the little details, but one important detail is that this isn’t the first time Zach’s exposed people’s identity. There’s this really wonderful woman who used to work for Treasure Island (she now works for Titan). Zach did  a whole piece on her a year ago saying what her real name was, what sort of work she did before working in porn, what sort of other things she’s posted on the Internet, and he imposed her face onto images of bareback fucking and cummy asses and generally implied that she helps in the transmission of STDs. As a result of Zach’s post on her she’s had to consider a legal name change if she wants to get out of porn. But if she does that she loses everything on her resume before she started working for TIM. She’s active on the webmaster board where all of this was being discussed, but she’s just one of many people Zach has fucked over. I mean you should see the things he says about Michael Lucas. In one recent tweet he said “@MichaelLucasNYC Better get back to your coffin, you vile piece of toxic shit. Sun’s coming up in just a couple hours in NYC…” Clearly Zach is NOT a nice guy. I mean I can’t imagine saying something like that about anyone – no matter how much I hate them. Yet Zach does it on a regular basis.

As the shit hit the fan last week people also found out that Zach has a business partner named Davyd Dixon who is a PR guy for many of the big studios. He conveniently claimed that he didn’t have any editorial control over Zach’s blog, but somehow his PR clients never seem to have the problems other studios have with getting slammed on Zach’s blog. (Hmmm…) And it’s not like Zach is even all that consistent. He slams Treasure Island and Lucas for barebacking – talking about how they’re spreading disease, but then he promotes sites like Sketchy Sex and complains that the Grabbies’ condom-only policy means they’re running out of sites to give awards to. His attacks are so random that it really does seem like negative PR rather than a genuine problem with the site or person he’s attacking. I honestly just don’t get where he’s coming from by promoting one site and slamming another that does more or less the same thing.

But seriously even if there is some difference I don’t understand, has Zach never heard of TasP? All the “toxic” stuff that TIM does, that Zach finds so objectionable, is fantasy. Poz guys on meds are some of the least risky people you can have sex with. In 19 years of guys being on ARVs, and probably millions of serodiscordant fucks, there have been no documented cases of an undetectable poz guy transmitting the virus. As a sex industry blogger Zach should know that. So what’s all the fuss? Let people have their fantasies. I mean the porn business is a business based on fantasy. Zach is hardly the god-appointed arbiter of what guys are allowed to jack off to.

Moving on… About 24 hours after the blog post on QMN went up “a hacker” brought down the site, took down the post on QMN, and redirected Zach’s blog to QMN. I don’t think QMN is technically capable of doing such a thing (IMHO, his site is a rather big mess technically). Instead, some people in the industry postulated that Zach just made it appear like he was hacked so he could then claim to be the victim. Which he promptly did in another blog post where he tried to justify his actions and say how horrible everyone was who opposed him. I was even quoted for having suggested on a private webmaster forum that he be permanently banned from getting awards at the Grabbies.

Zach Sire GrimaceThen he did a video on YouTube where he goes into whether people like me and QMN deserve privacy. He tries to say that bloggers should be transparent and have their identities public (see timecode 1:27). But that’s not how the industry works. It’s a well-established rule in the industry is that no one reveals anyone else’s legal name. Yet despite that, there is still accountability. All my sponsors know my legal name, as do people I meet face-to-face at industry events (at least they know my first name – not always my last name – depends on how well I know them). If I do something it can get back to me – but it goes through a filter of people in the industry who understand my situation because they’re in the same situation themselves.

He then goes on to say that there is no expectation of privacy when you show up to public events (2:30). The thing is at those public events QMN’s legal name was never used. And I would bet the fact that he was from “a certain Asian country” and his mainstream profession were never mentioned either (at least not publicly). To say that, just because he showed his face publicly, EVERYTHING about him is now open for dissemination goes against the well-established rules our industry has lived by for decades. We have those rules because of the stigma mainstream society places on anything related to sex work. We don’t have an issue with what we do, but lots of other people do. Why Zach doesn’t get that, I don’t know.

Zach Sire SkepticalHe gets very specific about this point (3:00) “If you’re writing in a professional sense and you’re a blogger and a conveyor of information you are 100% open to being exposed in terms of what your name is and who you are”. That statement goes against everything our industry has lived by for 40+ years. It’s wrong. It’s dangerous. It hurts real people.

But then he goes on to say (4:00) that pornstars, on the other hand, “have an expectation of privacy  … They don’t want their real names to get out because there are a lot of people who are stalkers. Porn stars are sex objects. They will literally stalk them and they will find out extremely personal information about them, their families, where they live… Scary stuff…  And that’s why porn stars use porn names.” All I can say to that is “Dude, don’t you get it? YOU are QMN’s stalker. All those ‘scary things’ your talking about – you’re the one doing them!”

Then he goes on again to reiterate the point even more (4:36) “Porn bloggers are not porn stars, they’re bloggers. Just because they have the luxury of being behind a computer and never having to really show their face or their name… They’re not entitled to the same protections as pornstars who are putting their face and everything out on camera and who are objectified.” All I can say to that is I’m a blogger AND I’ve been in porn. Sure, I was only in one commercial porn video, but some consider it to be “the most important gay porn video ever made”. So some of us are both pornstars and bloggers. (Though I’m not sure I’d consider myself to be a porn STAR, but presumably he doesn’t mean that smaller porn stars don’t deserve the same protections as bigger porn stars.) And hell, privacy is clearly important to me – I even wore a mask when I was in porn. How much more clearly do I need to make the point about privacy?

Zach Sire Open MouthBut my having been in porn is irrelevant to whether I’m deserving of privacy. Sexually-based stalkers are not the only legitimate reason why someone would have a right to privacy. That’s basically saying that bloggers are too ugly to deserve privacy. All I can say to that is speak for yourself – just because you don’t think you’re sexually attractive enough to deserve privacy doesn’t mean I don’t deserve it, or QMN, or any of the other bloggers out there. Hell, if the United Nations thinks encryption is a human right, then we all have a fundamental right to privacy.

He tries to justify his actions by saying (5:25) “If you are publishing information online you are open to being exposed 100%. Sorry, that’s just the way it is. This is 2015.” But what he fails to ask is “is that a good thing?” And, “do I really want to be one of the mean girls who expose people?” Or maybe has asked those questions and he’s got so little going on in his life and so few prospects for the future that he doesn’t care about being exposed, and he knows he just is a mean girl, so he sees no problem with it.

His other point (5:55) seems to be that he’s free to violate the industry’s code of ethics because he thinks other people are doing things he thinks are unethical. That is completely the opposite of how people should act. It reminds me of the saying that “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves everyone blind and toothless”. The only way we’ll have a better world is if each of us does our part to make the world better.

So what can you do to make a difference? It’s pretty simple – never click the links on “mean girl” blogs. That’s how Zach and Davyd (and bloggers in general) make their money. You can also make note of who his major sponsors are and simply not buy memberships at those sites. OR at least buy them only via clicking a link on a “good” site. (And by that I don’t mean one of the major tube sites – they’re the topic for a whole other blog post – but suffice it to say they’re a bigger problem than even Zach & Davyd).

And if you’re a porn star who has influence over some of Zach & Davyd’s major sponsors – say something! This is a privacy issue. And while it might not be your privacy that’s threatened today. That may not be the case tomorrow. And when your privacy is threatened in the future you’ll need people like porn bloggers coming to your rescue.

Zach Sire DemoralizedUnfortunately a week after all this inane drama started, not much has changed. Davyd took down two tweets that mentioned QMN’s real name. The hacker took down the post about QMN, and they’ve edited the article on the woman who worked at Treasure Island so it no longer contains her legal name. But it will continue to rank for her name since it once ranked for it in the past. And Zach continues to say he did nothing wrong. He’s even threatened to take a camera to industry-only events to continue to out QMN (and presumably people like me).

Unfortunately the eco-system in porn is so fragile that we can’t deal effectively with the bad players in our industry. The sponsors could end this quickly by dropping him, and a few have, but they’re probably ones that didn’t do much business with Zach/Davyd in the first place. His bigger sponsors won’t drop him because they have a responsibility to their producers to make money and dropping him means less money. And there are so few other big affiliates out there that it’s hard for other affiliates to force the sponsors to do much of anything. We might be able to get a sponsor or two to drop Zach, but I’m not sure that would change much of anything. And it sets a dangerous precedent that might makes right. Sponsors should just do the right thing because it’s right.

So the bottom line is where you click links matters. Clicking a link to a porn site means that site will get a cut of the revenue. You’re helping fund the site when you click the link. So don’t click if you don’t like the site. Don’t give the mean girls money to support their bad habits.

P.S.

Kudos to Banana Guide and The Sword (where Zach used to work) for doing blog posts that stood up to Zach & Davyd. I think a lot of folks in porn are scared to speak their mind because they don’t want what happened to QMN & the woman from TIM, happening to them.

P.P.S.

In the event Zach thinks he needs to out me so everyone “understands my motivations”… Let me just save him the effort and state them clearly…

I run this site and number of others (the two biggest of which are Breeding Zone and Raunchy Fuckers). I support myself entirely on income from the sites, so yes, making money is most definitely a goal of mine. Though, in all honesty, I probably make more money (on paper at least) through some smart real estate investments my husband and I have made over the years (starting before I got into porn), so these sites help, but they’re not solely responsible for everything I have.

And yes, there’s some “controversial” stuff on my sites – stuff like bug chasing. But it’s all consistent with my somewhat libertine belief that people should be able to do with their bodies as they please. I provide places like Breeding Zone where people can safely express their sexual fantasies. Talking about sex is a good thing. For example being able to safely admit to being a bug chaser provides the opportunity for others in the community to say “That’s fine, but are you sure? Maybe you should consider PrEP…” Where I draw the line is things that hurt others – especially non-consensual and/or permanent harm. So, I’m fine with someone being a gift giver, but not when the neg guy has stated he wants to stay neg and takes steps to try to stay that way. Or a guy can fantasize about stealthing all he wants, but my moderators and I try to keep real-life stealthing off Breeding Zone.

And yes, I have other things going on in my life to the point that I value my privacy. I wish the world didn’t stigmatize porn, other forms of sex work, being HIV+, etc. – and I literally work to break down those stigmas all the time, but there’s still plenty of stigma out there. So no, it’s not OK to “out” me just because you don’t approve of every little thing I do. That’s not what this industry stands for, and doing so doesn’t make the world a better place. Discuss my ideas, not my mother’s maiden name.

Despite the silence, I have been having sex…

24 April 2015 | No Comments

I apologize for not being better at blogging. The last loads I wrote up were loads 3 & 4 this year, but I’m actually up to load 14 so far in real life. A lot of the fucks have been at sex parties, so I’ve actually fucked more than I’ve cum – the number of times I’ve fucked stands at 57 so far this year. To put that in perspective, if I keep that same rate up I’ll give 45 loads this year and fuck 183 times. I know that load count is pretty low, but it is what it is. I’m just not always in the mood to fuck.

Let me do a quick rundown of the loads…

Load 5 – was at the CumUnion After Party. A guy was bent over in a dark corner and I just went up and fucked him and blew a load in his ass. I think he was Latino, but it was too dark to get a good look.

Load 6 – was given to the skinny black dude with the big dick from my neighborhood.

Load 7 – was with another black fuckbuddy of mine. I’ve been fucking him for years. He’s got this big muscley ass that always feels good on my dick.

Load 8 – was another black guy. This one was young and super skinny with a big fat cock.

Load 9 – was an anonymous pump-n-dump with a white cumdump in my neighborhood. A few weeks later I figured out it wasn’t the first time I’d fucked him 😉

Load 10 – was given to this Middle Eastern guy who’s usually a top and almost never takes loads.

Load 11 – was at a sex party. It was sorta a slow party and finally I just went up to this black kid with a big ass and shoved my dick into him while he was on a bed sucking another guy. He complimented me on my dick and how I fucked when I was done, which was nice.

Load 12 – was at a hotel sex party/orgy. A guy was there who I’ve seen top at gangbangs and online, but he’s totally my type (short, Latino with a tight body) and he’s vers, so I fucked him and gave him a load.

Load 13 – was at a bathhouse. The bottom (Latino) had posted on BBRT that he was there looking for loads. His ass was shaved and stubbly, but regardless he was still the hottest bottom there, so he got my load.

Load 14 – was at a different bathhouse. That experience was frustrating. Bottoms were telling me “no thanks” despite the fact that they were on their stomachs and not getting any action. Finally I found one who was cute (short, smooth, Latino) and wanted to fuck so I fucked him and dumped a load in him.

So that makes 4 black guys, 4 Latinos, one Middle Eastern guy, and only 1 white guy. That’s sorta normal for me though – Latinos are my all-time favorite ethnicity to fuck, and I live in Harlem, so plenty of black guys to choose from. White guys just don’t turn me on as much – or their fatter, or something.

Tonight I’m going to another sex party, and this weekend I’m going out to Fire Island. We’ll see what trouble I can get into though it’ll be on the cold side while I’m there. I’ll try to post stuff on the blog in a more timely manner, but we’ll see…

The Perfect Bottom?

24 January 2015 | 2 Comments

Loads 2015-3&4

A guy who I fucked a little over a year ago contacted me recently saying he was coming to town. I didn’t think too much of it ’cause I had forgotten that I’d given him rave reviews back then. But he texted me a couple of days ago wanting to hookup, but the timing wasn’t good. So yesterday he came by. Last time I raved about his hole. This time I gotta say pretty much everything about him was perfect.

Since I last saw him he had grown a beard and it made him look really hot. (As much as I like a hot body, it’s not complete unless the guy has a nice face).

Then he took off his clothes and I was pleasantly surprised. He’d been going to the gym and bulking up. He was basically a little muscle cub. Just the right amount of hair in just the right places, and the slightest layer of fat that actually accentuated his muscle making him look slightly beefy. As I was looking at him naked I was thinking “why didn’t I remember this guy better?” Clearly he’s been working out pretty hard since we last fucked.

I should back up and say that I wasn’t all that sure about how I’d perform yesterday. I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. And I didn’t exactly have a raging hardon when I looked at porn, etc. AND I had fucked up my back on the lower back / glute machine a few days ago and was in pain much of the day. And then there was my huge failure as a top a few days before – that didn’t help either.

But… As soon as he was on all fours with his well-fucked hole pointed my direction my dick started to respond. I rimmed him until I was completely hard (didn’t take long), and then stood up and shoved in, and then quickly pushed him down on his belly.

I knew he had taken 3 loads before coming over. I hadn’t tasted them when I was (literally) sucking on his ass, but once I was in him his hole did feel a bit wet. I’ve been good about my New Year’s resolution to not jack off and only cum when I’m fucking someone. OK, I did give that oral load a few days before, but that wasn’t jacking off – a bottom did get the load (one way or the other). Anyway, I had a nice big 4 day load in my balls that needed to come out. Needless to say with a great hole on a really hot bottom, I didn’t last long.

After I came I rolled him on his side and continued to pump his ass until my dick went soft. We talked a bit, made out, and then I tried to fuck him a bit more but didn’t really have it in me. Then we kept talking and making out.

He had mentioned that the guys who’d fucked him earlier were porn stars. I asked who they were and it turns out it was Adam Russo and Cutler X. Which was funny because that was literally the blog post that had gone live on my porn blog that day – Adam & Cutler fucking Draven Torres. Substitute the Latino bottom I had in bed with me for Draven Torres and you pretty much had the scene on my porn blog. Cutler had given him one load and Adam had given him two. And lucky me, I got Adam & Cutler’s sloppy seconds!

Adam Russo & Cutler X fucking a Latino bottom

Anyway, we kept talking and he was telling me about this one time when a top had told him to go to a bathhouse and take a bunch of loads and then go over to the top’s place so the top could fuck his cummy ass. He said he was really popular that night and got 12 loads in just a few hours at which point the top said to come over and he dumped two more load in him.

That story got me totally boned, so I climbed on top of him and kept fucking him again. The fucking went on a little longer this time and then I felt a load building up in my balls and then I blew a second load in his ass! It’s been just under two years since I last came twice in a session (including a fair number of sex parties).

According to him those were his 33rd & 34th loads of the year. So he’s on target for over 500 loads this year. I recommended he go to the CumUnion party, but it didn’t sound like he would – he had other plans. But I could totally have seen him getting another 8-10 loads there if he’d gone.

So I think this guy is pretty much my idea of the perfect bottom. He’s fairly short, Latino (both of which I like), younger than me (but not old enough to have his act together), muscular, attractive, a total slut, has a respectable job, is easy to talk to, and so on… To me that’s a pretty perfect package. I was surprised there was no ring on his finger. IMHO, he’s totally husband material – though he needs the type of husband that would love him for being a slut.

I think I’ll definitely be remembering him better next time he texts me saying he’s in town. 😉

Gave First Oral Load In 20+ Years…

24 January 2015 | No Comments

Unfortunately this story is about a failure on my part. Monday was a holiday so when a hot little mid-20-something hit me up wanting a dark room pump-n-dump I sorta had to say yes.

I got there and his apartment was so dark I didn’t know where to go. I finally found the bedroom and he was ass up in a jockstrap. Totally my type – short, thin, young, and looked a bit Hispanic, though his profile said “White”. He said he already had 2 loads in him.

Part of me wonders how my life would be different if I had had the sexual freedom when I was young that that cumdump has now. To be honest, I’m a bit jealous of kids of his generation. But I digress…

Anyway, I didn’t intend to stay long, so I kept my clothes on – even my jacket. His hole was really nice, his body was just like I like it but (long story short), my dick just never quite responded. I tried a few times to fuck him when I was semi-hard, but he was tight and I couldn’t get in. I was thinking once I was in him I’d get harder, but I couldn’t get in him.

I gotta say he was an incredible bottom. He was completely patient. Most bottoms would have gotten frustrated, but not only was he not frustrated, he was rock hard the entire time.

Who knows why I didn’t get hard enough to fuck. I hadn’t taken a Cialis in quite a few days, but I was getting rock hard looking at porn just an hour or two earlier. Maybe it was my blood sugar or some other factor. Who knows.

Anyway, I finally laid down on the bed and rimmed his hole while we alternated between me jacking my cock and him sucking me. Then I felt my orgasm coming. I still wasn’t rock hard, but he got a pretty big load in his mouth.

I can literally count the number of times I’ve given an oral load on one hand, and probably have fingers left over. It’s probably been around 25 years since I last came in someone’s mouth. So there’s a chance I haven’t given an oral load since before the he was born. Sorta funny to think about it that way…

So I was (and am) frustrated. The whole thing feels like a huge failure. But at least the bottom got my load one way or another. Hopefully I can make it up to him at some point with a good and proper fuck. He deserves at least that much.

 

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