Outsiders always have the initial impression that New York is some sort of sex paradise, but the reality is actually quite different. The only way in which NY is good for sex is the sheer number and variety of guys we have here. It’s not hard to find someone to hookup with – unless you’re picky or something… And then there are private sex parties (more on that in a moment)…

The problem is there are laws on the books that prohibit sex in commercial establishments – PERIOD. No oral, anal or vaginal sex. It’s a bummer – you go to a J/O club and there are “monitors” running around saying “no lips below the hips”. And any bar with a back room doesn’t last long before it gets shut down… The bathhouses are lame – the saunas and steam rooms are usually closed (by order of the Health Department), and you can’t do anything in public areas and the rooms have signs on their doors saying “one person per room” (yeah right)…

So now there’s a report out by the NYC Department of Health that makes it seem like things may get even worse. According to the report the rates of syphilis and HIV infection are up (even though another study says NYC HIV infections are down overall) and so the Department of Health is trying to figure out how to control people’s sex lives to bring down new infections.

It’s the controlling people’s sex life part that bothers me the most. They’re trying to limit anonymous sex in particular and social norms that encourage/accept large numbers of sex partners. Needless to say that doesn’t sit well with me…

Now the curious part is their evaluation of where things stand and what they can do about it. They talk about how there are only 4 bathhouses in the City, and they respond pretty quickly when a bar or club gets a dark room… The bathhouses they’re worried about because they can’t legally enter the “private rooms” to observe what’s going on and they seem convinced that there’s stuff going on.

Yet the “problem” continues and the root of the problem, according to them, is private sex parties which are largely unregulated. Some of these are highly organized and function much like bathhouses. But there are a few problems enforcing the laws when it comes to private parties – first, the parties move around as soon as there’s a hint of a problem, and second the DOH inspectors don’t want to remove their clothes to get into the parties and to take any action they have to actually observe the sex act.

One of the funniest statements had to be

In two New York surveys, bathhouse users reported large numbers of sex partners per year (mean 26-29, median 11-12)

Having sex with one guy a month is considered a “large number of sex partners”? LOL… In the gay world that would amount to a single guy who’s not successful at dating (or hooking up)…

The end result is that they seem to desperately want to close all bathhouses and private sex parties or, at a minimum, turn them into San Francisco style bathhouses that have no private areas and are rigorously monitored for safe sex compliance. UGH!!!

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone to a bathhouse or a private party (the closest I’ve come were the informal gangbangs last year) – so this doesn’t directly affect me. Actually, it helps in a way ’cause the guys who would go to the clubs and parties need another outlet when they get closed – so they turn to regular hookups which gives me more guys to fuck…

Still, all this really bothers me. I guess you’d call me a libertarian on this one – I just don’t think it’s government’s job to interfere with our sex lives. I’m all for education and information, but not regulation… If I were trying to improve the situation I’d focus on an expansion of free HIV and STD testing… That seems like a helpful role for government.

Frankly, I wish every bar had a back room – maybe then guys would go out to the bars like they did “back in the day” and New York would be fun again…