Is This Blog Getting Too "Dark"?
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26 July 2008 | 15 Comments
It seems like there’s been a lot of discussion of bug chasing on this blog recently. The “Neg 4 Neg” gangbang bottom taking a poz load, the bug chaser going on a sex vacation in SF and wanting as many loads as possible, and so on… I’m wondering whether I’ve gone too far. Not sure if I’m 100% comfortable with the public image I’m projecting. I mean it’s all happening and on one hand it’s sort of like news reporting… But there’s also an element of facilitation and eroticizing guys becoming poz and that’s where it gets to be a bit “dark”.
So I’m wondering what you guys think of it? Am I going too far? Should I step back and lighten things up a bit? Tell me what you think… The poll has answers that sorta cover the gammut, but feel free to add something under “other” or better yet – leave a comment on the post…
Oh yeah – I’m not going to feel obliged to do what the poll results say, but I will definitely take them into consideration…
UPDATE: It’s pretty clear where the poll results are going… While about 1 in 5 of you want it to go darker, the vast majority want it to stay the same and preferably lighten up a bit. What’s telling is that the “lighten up” percentage has been going up as the days drag on. In other words, the occasional readers may be put off a bit by the heaviness of the blog. The argument for staying the same is that this is my life and it won’t be all that interesting if I censor it.
So, to that end… I’ll change how I right about things, but not so much what I write about. In other words, those of you who like it dark will need to read between the lines. I’ll put all the details in there (neg4neg gangbang, etc.), but won’t dwell so much on the risk factor. Here are a few examples…
The bug chaser visiting San Francisco wanting loads – I’d just leave out the bug chaser part and say a bottom is on vacation wanting as many loads as possible. It would completely change the nature of the post – if you wanted to read the other related posts you could figure out the details…
There will still be occasional updates on HIV and AIDS research – that won’t change. I may think twice about some of the stories however… For example, I’m not sure how important the “HIV Strikes Quickly” story really was.
The story about three sides of a stealth breeding gangbang – I’d do it with less detail and more as a cautionary tale (neg bottoms who take anonymous loads will wind up getting poz loads).
The story of what a bug chaser is thinking as he makes the decision to take all loads instead of being “neg4neg”… That one would be done pretty much the same way. There are some things I think just need to be expressed unedited.
When I talk about my hookups I usually just stick to the facts of what happened – so no change will be needed there…
I think that blogs tend to become lame when people start censoring what they’re going to write about. This is the stuff that is going on in your world lately and so your blog reflects that. It’s an accurate representation of the issues that are popping up for you. If your blog suddenly went all sunshine and unicorns I’d think you jumped the shark.
I agree with Sam. As reprehensible as “stealth breeding” or “bugchasing” is, the only way to have a rational discussion about it is to let all sides see the light of day.
@sam – It’s more about how I word things. For example the bug chaser in SF this week – I could omit the part about him being a bug chaser and just say he’s looking for as many loads as possible. Or I could have written up the bit about the neg bottom getting stealthed in a more cautionary tone. Or when I wrote up about his gangbang just leave it at “Neg 4 Neg” and let people draw their own conclusions…
I’m thinking that’s how I’ll write things in the future – in a more “read-between-the-lines” manner… Should make everyone happier…
@christopher – I will be adding a forum to the site in the next month or so. I’m sure there will be plenty of frank discussion there, but I’ve already decided that discussion of bug chasing and the like will be segregated, so people who don’t want to see it can easily avoid it.
This blog is the complete opposite of “dark”… You don’t sensationalize bug chasing at all, and I feel that you could do more. You mention that you’re going to segment the bug chasing discussion from the rest of the forums, but I honestly believe that the bug chasing/gift giving community and the barebacking community are one and the same…
The idea of segmenting it like its a dirty little secret isn’t something I’d like to see you do at all.
Just my .02.
Some one just left a response in the “other” category of the poll that they only want to read about my hookups – not my opinions on things…
I don’t see that part changing, but I will make it possible when I move the blog to WordPress to just read a category page that’s only hookup stories… You’ll even be able to subscribe to an RSS feed of just hookup stories…
Leave it alone. It’ll go back and forth just like before. BTW It makes me wish I lived in a bigger town so I could fuck all these guys.
Hey dude.
As a bottom who was “stealthed” not too long ago, I think it’s important that you find a way to talk about the issues that happen along with barebacking in the community and especially in the city. There’s a whole lot of people who start out just turned on by the thought of bareback who end up getting off on the idea of pozzing others or getting pozzed. It’s a problem, to be honest. HIV is a real illness. It has real symptoms that suck. I haven’t been able to get fucked since I started having symptoms because of the diarrhea. That basically ENDED the most fulfilling part of my sex life, for now. I never “chased” it, but I was ok with it in a way because of what I misunderstood it to be. It’s different. We’re not going to die from it anymore… but it still sucks, and there’s nothing erotic or freeing about it at the end of the day. It’s a lot of diarrhea and fever and swelling and blood-taking and fear. So yeah, lighten up a little in a sense – be erotic about the sex. It’s hot as fuck. But express the risks more directly and be careful not to eroticize something that’s still a very unpleasant and (for now) incurable illness. And how about a PayPal link to some charities that fight the virus? When someday we can all bareback without fear or hurting ourselves or others, your site will have helped us get there while giving us some hot jerk-off material along the way.
I like that you keep this blog centered around what is happening in you life, in your world. So it has its Dark moments. That is life.
I think BB sex is hot. I also think having HIV isn’t a good thing. I’ve gotten increasingly uncomfortable with the idea that if you’re a neg bottom who likes cock in your ass, you “deserve” HIV or that’s it’s inevitable that you’re gonna get it. I’m also uncomfortable with the stereotype of poz tops that says they’re out to infect neg guys, by stealth or otherwise. In fact, most poz guys are careful not to fuck neg guys raw – if they know – and neg guys can take steps to reduce their risk of getting HIV. These include just asking the top’s status (not perfect, but way better than not), not barebacking everyone or everytime you fuck or have sex, and getting tested regularly for STDs.
I don’t want you to never talk about the guys who are bugchasing or stealth pozzing, because I agree it’s going on and there’s an erotic power about it. But I’d love to see some balance.
Hey guys,
I am following the site from Europe, Germany (Berlin, the place where everyone seems to fuck around bareback… kinda. )
Anyway, I have been a regular visitor for the last couple of weeks or possibly few months. I enjoyed the write ups, I enjoyed the videos (Hell, yeah! Oh, I am a bottom by the way… just so you know). I also enjoyed reading about RawTop’s point of view on HIV and things. However, the last few reports have gone in a direction that I honestly didn’t “enjoy” or liked to read myself.
Now, I know that there are bug chasers, people being attracted by the possibility of being infected with HIV, but it’s just not my thing. I enjoy being fucked up, I enjoy taking cum (from everyone… well, there are limitations, but I am not going to get into that right now… Just to clarify, HIV status is usually not something I take into consideration if I am attracted by the guy), but it’s one huge turn off when people start talking like “hey, want to take my poz load?” “are you poz, too?” “Lets exchange poz cum…” whatever…. This may sound like I'd have a problem talking about HIV itself. To be honest… No. 😉 I'll happily talk about my status with everyone and have done so in the past, but I don't feel like it's something that I'd like to use when it comes to "turn someone on"—
I honestly don’t know if it makes sense to you guys, but I enjoy sex because of the action, not the (possible) consequences it may have on my life. Now, don't get me wrong… I know what the risks are and stuff, but I got started doing it BB when I was 16 and while I had times when I thought about it and stuff, I just feel it's the right thing for me.
Hope that somehow made sense to you guys. If not, I’ll try to clarify. 😉
I voted “lighten it up a bit”. Continue to write about what’s going on and what you think, but well… maybe keep in mind that not everything’s black & white. But you already do, I figured. Anyway, maybe my comment helps to show that there are (mostly) bottom bois (well, 25…) or guys out there enjoying bareback because of the action, not the “hey, use and abuse me and ruin the rest of my life” factor… I hope you get me.
I’ll talk to you guys later… we are having a beautiful summer and I reallllly need to soak up the sun!
Cheers,
BerlinCalling
Ugh, some signs seem to look weird for me in my previous post. I don’t think I can edit it, can I?
Looked “normal” and still does while previewing this comment.
Sorry guys. ,-)
BC
There has always been something dark and sinister about bug chasers and gift givers. Though at first I was appalled, I must admit that I was intrigued.
Of course, when I was diagnosed myself, even though I can count on one hand the times I’ve bottomed, I was mortified and angry. Moritifed because I was horrified about “coming out” all over again to friends and family. Angry because I knew the consequences. I knew what would happen if I kept sticking my dick in holes without condoms.
Many years ago, when condoms were first discovered to be the one thing that stopped the virus from being transmitted, I had already been wearing them simply because I didn’t like to get shit on my dick. And being, uncut, it wasn’t pretty when after fucking someone, I pulled my foreskin back to find a shitty cockhead.
Since then, I’ve grown more and more curious about negative holes wanting to be bred with positive loads.
Bottom line, the ultimate responsibility is up to the individuals involved in the breeding: the one giving the load and the one taking the load. And always, always assume that if you’re taking or giving raw cock and loads, you will eventually wind up positive.
As for “Neg Holes 4 Neg Loads” thats a laugh. You just can’t assume that the person who tells you is negative, is actually negative unless you see their labwork.
In conclusion, RawTop, leave your blog the way it is. There is no need to censor yourself, your thoughts or what you say. There is no sensationalizing; you’re merely bringing to light something that no one wants to openly talk about or admit to. There are a lot more raw fuckers out there than you might think!
I voted to leave the blog the way it is. It’s your life, RawTop, so tell it like it is. I think you do a great job of mixing up the hookups and gangbangs with your reports on your own physical problems, moodiness, etc. And you interject your opinions on politics, bug chasers, Manhunt’s owners, etc.
Not to mention your clearly stated views that all us sub bottoms exist solely to pleasure dom tops like you. But I agree with you. The best sex I have ever had was when my top used my hole for whatever pleased him, not me. And I want it that way.
I really like your honesty on this blog. Not everybody’s perfect all the time, and you freely admit your own shortcomings. Although you seem to get your fair share of tail. Hell, if I took over 50 loads in 8 months, I’d think I was in gay heaven.
So, retool the blog as you see fit, but don’t tweak it too much. It is about you, so keep it that way.