Is your boyfriend a bug chaser?
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1 October 2008 | 10 Comments
The other night I met up with a guy I know through the blog. Didn’t fuck him – just went out for drinks. He’s like the third person I know who’s in his 40s, in a 10+ year relationship, who’s a bug chaser. In all three cases the boyfriend has no clue.
I’m wondering if there’s a difference based on age when it comes to bug chasing. He was talking about how younger guys (tweens) just think of barebacking as normal sex. Then there’s a whole group who just don’t want to admit they’re bug chasing when they tested neg and are taking anonymous loads from guys they don’t know. But I think guys in their 40s saw some of the horrors and when they decide to take loads they’re more honest with themselves about the risks and what they’re doing.
Then there’s the whole relationship angle… Needless to say that’s a bit complicated, and interesting as well…
I try not to judge and I love your blog but these dudes who chase and DON’T tell their BFs. Well, that’s just messed up. Seriously. I hope they are using protection but in a 10 year relationship, I somehow doubt it.
I would have to say that I agree with what he stated. Not all these guys that go bare are seeking to get infected. With that said there is a whole other group that do go bare and get off on the risk but wont admit to what they are really doing.
What I don’t agree with is this guy bug chasing and leaving his partner of 10+ years in the dark about it. I really hope this dude doesn’t wait until he infects his partner to say oh i’m positive now.
If my partner of 10 years was a bug chaser and infected me, I’d return the favor and kill him.
What he’s doing is illegal actually and people have been tried for attempted murder/poisoning on that.
Yeah, then again, I agree with Jeff. if you’re going to bareback, you know the deal and the risks, but a ten year boyfriend is a bit much. He should have him tested.
You’re all assuming that after 10+ years the boys still having sex. Maybe they seek their pleasures outside the relationship.
My partner of 7 years is into bug chasing, and high risk bottoming. He has told me, and while I’m dealing with it, it’s difficult. Our sex life has tapered off, and we’re careful. It’s very hard because I feel like I am the only one out there and of course I can’t talk to anyone about it. I love him, but I can’t totally understand his needs, but it’s his life. I am responsible for keeping myself healthy. Would I like a more normal life? Sure. Either he’ll stop at some point or he’ll seroconvert. That won’t make me stop loving him.
I think most of you guys are missing the point.As a person with mental isues.chaser.I feel it goes deeper then chasing.it is a slow form of suicide.We need to help these guys help.As for me I nkow i should get help,but part of mental heahh problems we just do’nt see in our selves what we see in others.FYI
i do have a bf but we are not haveing sex.A no he does’nt know i’ a chaser.So please do not judge chasers try to find the deeper story and try to help them.