The anti-bareback crowd is funny sometimes…
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1 January 2009 | 13 Comments
There’s an affiliate program out there, Condom Cash, that I really didn’t pay much attention to. I mean, just based on the name you wouldn’t think it would be appropriate for me, right? Well, it turns out if you thought that (like I did), you’d be wrong…
Condom Cash has not one but two bareback sites – RetroMale.com and GayRetroPorn.com. They’ve conveniently redefined bareback to not include what’s been euphemistically called “pre-condom” – you know, the bareback stuff from the 80s.
Think about it for a minute – if you didn’t use a condom in the 80s it could actually kill you in a matter of a few short years. Compare that to now, where if you bareback, and start treatment within a reasonable amount of time after infection, it may not kill you at all. So the people who think “barebacking” (their definition) is evil (or at least horribly, horribly wrong), are fine with the far deadlier version of barebacking which they’ve called by another name – “pre-condom”.
I just find the whole situation pretty funny…
Pre-condom is really pre-AIDS. It took a while to learn that condoms stopped the spread of AIDS and I think the porn industry played a big part – at the beginning.
I have HIV and I am 45. Barebacking is a choice and, honestly speaking, my barebacking was the cause of my illness…I know it and admit it ( I am versatile and can bottom/top.) Porn did not cause me to go out there and do it, I just liked barebacking period. Hey I played with fire and I eventually got burnt. What I do want to clarify is that living with HIV IS NOT EASY! Sure they have the one or two pill regiment( I have the two pill and I have an undetectable viral load). These meds cause major side effects both physically and emotionally. You also have to live with the “stigma” of having this disease and, believe it or not, the worst rejection and discrimination has come internally from the gay community…WTF! What is also worse is the amount of guys – that I know – who bareback, do not have HIV, BUT have a ton of other STD’s! You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t!
No, you’re not damned if you don’t, you’re safe if you don’t.
Thanks, BK, that’s what I meant to say but it came out wrong…LOL!!!!
LOL, it’s NP.
My personal stance is it’s okay to BB with a trusted loved one who has been tested and gets tested regularly. Personal Health & Safety should be a top priority for everyone.
I have to disagree with a lot of what JC says. I found out I was poz in the spring of 2008 after a bout of pneumonia which was diagnosed as aids related. I traced back in my mind and figured I have been poz for about 5 yrs. It was my decision to bb, I loved it and still do and I have no regrets about it. Because of my hiv related pneumonia and my VL and Cd4 numbers it was suggested I need to start medication as soon as my pneumonia cleared up. I take one a day Atripila and it has been a relatively easy adjustment with no side effects and I feel better then ever. The doctors have assured me as long as I take good care of myself, take my medication without fail, chances are excellent I will live a normal life span and will likely die of from something unrelated to hiv/aids. My VL is undetectable and my Cd4 is in the normal range now. I am also finding my status has not had an negative impact on my sex life either. My only warning, make sure you have good health insurance. The tests and medications are expensive and I am thankful I have always had good health insurance. Take care and keep barebacking!
scott, that is so fucked up what you are saying. You can still die from HIV and the side effects can go from nothing to living a terrible life of pain and misery. Young people lead by example and your a poor example to follow.
You are a lucky one. My ex husband died from HIV. He did what you did. Never got tested until he came down with pneumonia. Well by that time it was too late. He lived for another 4 years. In and out of the hospital. But the initial damage was done. His immune system was ravaged by his foolishness. Not being tested on a regular bases. Waiting until he got an HIV related infection. How stupid. His body never recovered from the damage done by Pneumonia.
“I am also finding my status has not had an negative impact on my sex life either.”
That’s probably because you never tell your sex partners your status. Cause if you did you would be rejected by many. That is their right to reject you.
BTW, You are not HIV positive. You have crossed over the line with an HIV related infection and you officially have AIDS. Do you tell your partners that? Of course not it’s the other guys responsibility, right? How many guys have you infected?
raw top,
“Compare that to now, where if you bareback, and start treatment within a reasonable amount of time after infection, it may not kill you at all.”
How reassuring to know that it may not kill you. You could say that it might kill you too.
Take care and wear a condom for the other guys sake.
Tom, thanks for injecting some sanity in here. Nothing sucks more than some 18 year old boy telling you he is HIV-positive because all he knows and sees online is bareback, bareback, bareback.
Oh – and let’s not forget Hepatitis C, which apparently is being transmitted via anal sex. Last time I was tested at Callen Lorde, I was told they are seeing at least one new infection per week (and this was 3 months ago – could be more by now). So barebackers have something new to enjoy, since worrying about potentially terminal illnesses doesn’t seem to sway them.
And finally, paying out the nose for meds, even if insured since many people still have a co-pay for prescriptions, sucks, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t you rather spend that money on dinners, travel, DVDs, clothing, and other luxuries/necessities?
@Tom:
What you said to Scott is pretty rediculous, and comes off sounding ignorant–especially for someone who should be relatively well-educated about HIV.
Scott IS HIV-positive. AIDS is a syndrome, and obviously acquiring an HIV-related infection doesn’t negate the fact that his blood is seropositive. That’s what HIV-positive means. They’re not mututally exclusive.
It’s not instructive, or useful, to suggest that he pronounce himself as “having AIDS” versus being “HIV-positive.” Firstly, it makes no difference from a transmisibility prespective. Secondly, it really doesn’t matter from a prognosis perspective any more. You may be aware that the common STDs “officially count” as “AIDS-defining” infections as well, such that many HIV-positive people who have never had CD4 counts below even 400 could be categorized as having AIDS by, say, people who make actuarial tables. But from a practical perspective, what matters is his viral load and CD4 count. If you disagree, ask a clinician. They’ll tell you I’m right.
That being the case, I can only assume that you said what you did purely to stigmatize and shame Scott. That’s a pretty crappy thing to do, considering your close connection with the disease. You suggest he doesn’t tell his partners, even though he’s given you no real reason to think that. And you tell him he’s worthy of “rejection.”
Maybe you should spend some time trying to deal with your feelings about what happened to your partner. Don’t lash out at other people just because you’re angry at him, missing him, mourning him, or whatever else you’re feeling. Give Scott a break.
@ Joe.
Anybody that makes a ridiculous statement like this “Take care and keep barebacking” is worthy of rejection. Especially if he is positive.
It’s ridiculos to make statements that he has no regrets at becoming HIV + through barebacking. Like it’s some kind of trophy to put on his mantle. That is fucked up!
And I am sure he was thinking about his “good health insurance” as he was barebacking. That was the farthest thing on his mind. Truth is, he would have done it anyway, insurance or not. That’s the real world. Then we the tax payer would pick up the bill, so what does it matter right?
The guy is fucked up. He is probably spreading HIV and other STD indiscriminately and doesn’t know it or care because according Raw Top the blogger for this site, it’s the other guys problem not his. A group think!
I don’t know what world you come from but in this world rejection is very common once you convey it to a potential sex partner. Once again it is very common. Especially if you want to bareback. That is the price you pay for being honest. It sucks but it’s life and I have accepted that. That is 1 million times better then keeping it quiet if he doesn’t ask. The possibility of infecting him is a million times worse then that rejection. I just move on to the next guy until I find someone compatible. So do you think it’s OK to not tell just because the other guy didn’t ask? Are you willing to risk infecting another human being for life because you are horny?
“Give Scott a break.” The guy who has no regrets about barebacking. Who is dumb enough to never be tested for 5 years till he gets a bout of AIDS related pneumonia and gets AIDS. A disease that was completely preventable if he just had not acted so recklessly? No way! He deserves shame, scorn, and a good self esteem counselor.
One thing I have to say. I appreciate Raw top allowing dissenting points of view. Being banned or being deleted is just too easy. It’s stops debate that is important amd necessary.
Wow! Where do I begin with a reply! Looking back, I was a complete idiot thinking with my dick, not my brain. Now I see everything completely different when I became poz, very different. First the HIV meds. cost a fortune, luckily I have good insurance and I work…otherwise I am looking at a near $1000.00 a month regiment(!!!)…think about that for those focused on money issues. Everyone reacts differently to the meds.and it takes awhile to find the right combo. and the ones that will give less side effects. The meds are very potent and fuck around with your liver and kidneys. The guy who gave it to me never told me and I didn’t ask…what a fool I was. I probably infected others and that I have to have to hold in my conscious. There is discrimination out there against poz people, even within the medical community (try going to a dentist and not be given the look of dread and disgust). Luckily I have friends and family who accepted me and I am forever grateful for that. Yes, life goes on but it is a pain to live with and a hassle to have this disease. I admire Rawtop for his honesty and also his “controversial” views…hey it makes life more interesting. ***Please also know, in many U.S. states, having HIV and having unprotected sex without consent or disclosure with the other person is considered a crime and even “attempted murder.” That person can press charges against you. Believe me, there are a lot of people out there who refuse to get tested, know they are but won’t tell or simply don’t care. Please check out this site http://www.thebody.com which is a superb site about everything HIV/AIDS. Hey think with your brain, not your dick out there!!!!