Load 2013-47

I was a little shocked today when I was filling in my hookup spreadsheet. I realized that there had been a full, 4 week dry spell before the hookup I had on Monday. That’s pretty awful, but there are a number of reasons for it.

For starters, I’ve been feeling weird sexually. About a month ago my dick felt really weird. It was like there was something going on in my urethra. There was no discharge and my STD tests were clear. I wondered if it were herpes, so I took 10 days of herpes meds, but that didn’t change anything so that wasn’t the issue. I also wondered if I had a wart in there. It’s not something I’d even think of, but I have a friend who has that issue. Thing is, that doesn’t go away on it’s own and the problem did finally go away – so that wasn’t the issue either. In hindsight I’m confused what the problem was. I guess my PA could have irritated something. Or maybe there was some sort of internal bruise/scar that took time to break down.

I really have no clue, but it’s gone whatever it was. The point was that, despite what some of you think of me, I really don’t get off on giving STDs to the guys I fuck. OK, I do fantasize sometimes about pozzing some of the guys I fuck – but I’m neg and on PrEP – it’s just a fantasy and sometimes that fantasy seems to backfire on me. So the issues with my dick sorta put me off sex.

On top of that, I’ve just been really stressed lately. Maybe it’s the winter blues – or maybe it’s the fact that I’m in the middle of no fewer than 3 lawsuits and that brings a certain amount of bad karma into my life – or maybe it’s just that I’ve been feeling really pressured to fix certain things about my business and get my income back where it needs to be (it was on a very gradual decline the last few years). But one way or the other I just wasn’t all that horny most of the time.

And if that weren’t enough my ass has been bugging me – my fissure has returned. Anal fissures go hand in hand with stress. When people say uptight people are anally retentive – it’s not just a figure of speech. Stress makes your ass tight and when your ass is too tight you get fissures (so says my colorectal surgeon). On top that, the experimenting I did with that funnel hurt like hell and may have torn something. (Lesson learned on that one!)

And it didn’t help that I got in the habit of jacking off to Tumblr when I woke up in the morning. I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with people for sex. Jacking off seemed like a better idea – but it was pointless to hookup after jacking off – I only have one good load a day.

That was actually an issue in the hookup on Monday. The guy came over. He was a little stockier than I’d usually think was my type, but he was short and smooth and had a good hole. Things should have gone well with him, but I just couldn’t cum with him. It was frustrating. I had no problem getting hard and giving him a decent fuck, but the cum just didn’t come. I had jacked off once or twice the day before. Guess that was the reason I couldn’t cum. Who knows.

But I fucked this guy today. Initially I thought he had just an average body, etc. But when I got in his ass it was incredible. It was like a vice most of the time I fucked him. It only loosened up a little right before I came. And it wasn’t just his hole – his glutes were hard as rocks. His ass just felt muscular as I had him on his belly slamming into it. So bottom line the sensations with my dick weren’t at all what I was expecting when I saw him walk through the door. It’s funny how there are guys who may not turn your head in a bar but are excellent fucks. And then there are really hot guys who I can’t cum with. Go figure.

So I did finally break my dry spell. Thank god! The funny part was I didn’t realize how long of a dry spell it had been. Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll at least get up to 50 loads. I’d feel a little bad if I didn’t hit that mark.