I was about to apologize for not posting more here, but it wouldn’t be right to apologize. My life is crazy right now – good things are in the works, but they’re just not related to sex. When I was a kid there was one and only one thing I wanted to be when I grew up – then I realized that the day-to-day business of it wasn’t really what I thought it would be so I gave up on that dream. Well, I’m getting to work on a project related to it right now and I’m having a blast doing it. However, I’m stretched really thin and feel like I’m beyond burning the candle at both ends, but it’s good stress and a lot of fun.

Thing is, the project keeps me so busy sex really isn’t on my mind. At the end of the day I sorta just collapse in exhaustion. I get horny sometimes, but only have enough energy to jack off. I guess the lesson in all of this is that there are times when life just isn’t about sex – and that’s not a bad thing…

The project is going to go on until at least the end of the year, but I’ll still try now and then to hookup and post things here – it’s just going to be a lot less frequent than normal. If you’re hitting me up on the hookup sites – don’t take it personally if I don’t get back to you or I’m never available…

Two weeks ago I had to go downtown for a meeting (related to the project). I hadn’t fucked in a while and felt like I should try to hookup. I looked during the day for someone to hookup with, but by the time when I needed to leave none of the people I was chatting with could hookup. Then this guy hit me up and he was available and could host. He wasn’t my usual type, but he was sexy and I had always wanted to hookup with him. In his pics he looked a bit severe. He was muscular, heavily tattooed and looked like he could beat you up if he got in the mood. He listed himself as a versatile top, but wanted to bottom for me.

So I headed down to his place. I had 45 minutes which should have been plenty of time and really I was mostly in the mood for a pump and dump. I got there and there was another guy who was leaving (putting on his shoes). My trick introduced him as his ex-boyfriend. We went into the next room, his bedroom, and closed the door. I started taking off my clothes and he wanted to take off my boots. It was a nice, submissive gesture. Then we felt each other up, and I sucked his dick a bit. But then he started directing the scene. He wanted me to lay back on the bed and let him do the work.

Back almost 20 years ago when I was versatile I remember one guy I hooked up with who was what I’d call a “do me” top. He just laid there and wanted me to do all the work. I didn’t enjoy it. In this situation the roles were reversed and I was being asked to be a “do me” top. I figured I’d give it a try, but it was clear this wasn’t going to be a quick pump-and-dump and I was little worried about the time.

It was nice just laying there being serviced, but oddly he didn’t suck my dick. It was all about me, but I wasn’t really in control of the situation. The guy was bigger than me and he got on top of me and I felt a bit trapped – it wasn’t a bad experience – not at all, but he was in control. Then he got a bottle of lube and put some on my crotch and started rubbing his dick in it. Again, a 20 year-old memory came to mind… I used to really be into frottage and that’s exactly what I used to do back in the day. Then, like I used to do, he put his dick between my legs and started sorta play fucking me. I knew where it was leading and asked him “You wanna fuck me, don’t you?” That sorta weirded him out and he kept saying he didn’t want to fuck me, while he was basically play fucking me. Thing is, he could have taken it further and I would have been fine with it, but it was just awkward since he clearly wanted to fuck me, but wouldn’t own up to it.

I wasn’t sure what he really wanted. I was there to fuck him, but he was basically overpowering me and not even sitting on my dick. If you’re playing power games with a top and in control – at least make it clear to the top you want to get fucked by putting his dick up your ass… On the other hand I was wondering whether he wanted me to turn the tables on him and overpower him… It was all pretty unclear.

I should probably stop for a second and describe him a bit. He had even more tattoos than I thought he would – he was almost covered in them. And when you felt his body there were scars you couldn’t see ’cause they were covered with tattoos. He was very masculine, but with me it was an odd mix of him being in control but still being very submissive toward me. It was all very interesting, but it was throwing me off my game a bit.

Finally, I decided I want to fuck, said as much, got up and fucked him. He wasn’t adverse to it (at all)… The problem was – like a lot of guys with his body type, his hole just wasn’t grabbing my dick the way I like. I still fucked him, but it was sorta clear to me I probably wasn’t going to cum. Every now and then I get a second wind and can cum, but eventually I just started going soft.

At this point he started getting self-conscious about the situation and that I wasn’t staying hard and wasn’t able to cum. He finally sucks my dick and tries to get it fully hard. Then he takes off my leather cockring and puts on one of his soft rubber cock rings on me. I used to like those things, but they now sorta scare the shit out of me. With those things my veins burst and I get ugly bloody spots on my dick. Hell, because of one of those I didn’t get into a Treasure Island video. I was worried, but let it go. He really put it on tight – twisted it a 2nd time around my balls. That got my dick hard, purple and veiny and I did finally get hard enough to fuck again. The 2nd time I got closer to cumming, but the worry of the cockring doing weird things to my dick set in, and I lost it.

At this point time was a factor and it was clear I wasn’t going to cum, I checked the time and it was a couple minutes after I was supposed to leave, so I wrapped things up as quickly as I could and left. He took it all pretty hard. It was like my not cumming was a personal failure and he just couldn’t understand why it happened. Here was this big butch guy completely devastated by a hookup that wasn’t all that bad. I mean it was different and generally pretty fun – it’s not like it was bad sex – it just didn’t quite work. Oh well… His issue, not mine…

Given a different bottom and more time I could totally get into just laying back and being a “do me” sorta top and let the bottom dote on me… Maybe another time…