I Violated The Rule I Laid Down For Myself…
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2 September 2012 | 5 Comments
Back in May I told myself I’d never cum except when it was in a bottom’s ass. Well, I violated that on Friday… I’ve been sick for way too long and on Friday it had been two weeks since I last came. I had tried to fuck someone earlier in the week but it hadn’t been successful. So with a 14 day load in my balls I was casually looking at profiles on BBRT. One profile in particular got me going and I figured WTF and just let myself cum. I knew it would be a few days before I’d be up for fucking so why not?
If you’re wondering, my being sick started with what I thought was viral gastroenteritis. I never did see a doc – in part because I was pretty confident about what I had (I’d had it several times before – though not recently), and things improved. But then as the gastro was wrapping up my ass started being really really sore during bowel movements and there was blood. I chalked that up to an old anal fissure opening up. It wasn’t too bad early in the week and seemed to be improving. But then later in the week it got worse. I should have called to go in on Thursday, but I waited until Friday. I go to Callen-Lorde and they’re understaffed and were completely booked. I just didn’t feel like going anywhere else, so I figured I’d suffer through it (how New England WASP of me).
Finally this morning my bf dragged me to an “urgent care” place. The doc there suspects I have some sort of infection in my lower bowels, so he’s put me on Cipro. He ran a bunch of tests (including stool samples). All in all it didn’t feel like he was all that helpful (he didn’t even look at my ass). But I guess he’s got the tests started a few days early for my doctors.
I’m just completely sick of being sick. I need to get back to normal…
One thing though… All of this has made me decide I want surgery on my ass to finally fix the fissure. I’ve had it for 21 years now – usually it doesn’t cause problems and it’s never caused this level of problems before. That fissure is a big reason why I’m an exclusive top. It just hurts like a mother-fucker when I get fucked and I almost always bleed… I think mentally I’m still 95% top, but we’ll see what happens after the surgery 😉
Haha you’re very popular as a top, but i’m very sure there s loads of guys out there itching to fuck you too!!
Hi Randall,
I had surgery for a fissure and it was successful. I have not had an issue since.
My Best to you,
Lee
I’ve had the surgery. There are drawbacks to it… because they typically remove part of the rectal sphincter muscle, it’s almost like you have to learn to poop (and pee, to some extent, since the rectal and urethral sphincter muscles are controlled by the same impulse from the same part of the brain)) all over again; it just feels different. You have to learn to react to different messages, and in less time than you’re used to having. For the same reasons, you have to learn to bottom all over again, because it feels totally different. (You probably should bottom for at least a few months, and maybe even a year, after the surgery, so that you don’t fuck up the healing process.) Also, recovery from the surgery can be slow and painful, depending on how severe the fissure is.
But on the flip side, it’s not always that bad (my rectal fissure was pretty severe, so it was seven months before I could poop without bleeding) and you’ve already been suffering for 21 years; I daresay that’s plenty. I would also assume that there’s a constant risk of infection when you’ve got a tear down there, and the tear can always get worse.
Overall I think it’s a good decision to get it done. Even in the worst case scenario, the thing you’re avoiding is almost never as bad as you fear it will be. Your recovery will almost certainly be longer than the 7-10 days they usually predict, but it’s an investment you’ll appreciate when you’re through the healing process.
that should have been “react to different messages FROM YOUR BODY”… this is what I get for trying to rush through a long reply. 🙂