I had an e-mail from a reader the other day…

My name is Jack. I am an avid reader of your blog and I wanted to ask you a question. I am an HIV negative bottom and I crave raw dick and cum in my ass. But, to date, I haven’t taken any raw dick, except from guys I have dated regularly and trusted. I want to branch out and try the occasional raw hookup, but I don’t know how to approach it. Obviously, this is a hard choice to make.

I am considering hiring an escort I know who does bareback occasionally. He claims he is neg and DDF, but I have no way of knowing for sure. He only barebacks for double fee, but I really want to have his cum in my ass.

Based on your estimates, what do you think my risk factor is?

Let’s just say I’m glad I’m not a bottom… It’s not easy making decisions like the one Jack’s making…

There’s a lot he didn’t say in his e-mail… How old is he? Though the fact that he’s thinking of hiring a hooker makes me think he’s not a twink. What are his priorities in life? How comfortable is he with risk in other areas of his life? Someone who drives like a maniac, goes skydiving, or backpacking through war zones is probably more comfortable with barebacking than an accountant who dreams of having the perfect heterosexual-style wedding and settling down in the country with his partner, two dogs and a kid…

I guess what it boils down to is that I think some guys should use condoms since it’s consistent with how they live the rest of their lives, while I think other guys should just give up and get into the mindset that they will become poz… The question is what should those of us who aren’t at one of those two extremes do?

For starters, make your own decisions and don’t second guess yourself after the fact. If you really need cum in your ass and in the moment you’re OK with doing that with a particular guy – don’t beat yourself up after the fact even if you became poz as a result. Bad things happen to people who think negatively… Don’t go there.

Or put another way, realistically think about your limits ahead of time, live by them, and if you don’t wind up living by them re-examine them since you may not have been realistic about things when you were just being theoretical. That’s not to say you shouldn’t learn from your experiences and do things differently in the future (I’m wondering whether the last two hookups were worth it)… Just don’t freak out about things after the fact…

Obviously Jack has thought about things and recognizes his need to get cum in his ass – and not just from whoever he’s dating… If he has that need then it’s good to be realistic about it and deal with it. Suppressing it isn’t a good long term strategy on many levels. So it’s good that Jack acknowledges it and is trying to find ways to scratch his itch…

At the same time he seems really concerned about risk. That’s an understandable step at the point he’s at, but he needs to be realistic about that too in that nothing is guaranteed. All he can do is play the odds and pick tops his gut tells him are neg. But even then he might wind up with poz cum in his ass… He needs to know that might happen and accept it the same way he accepts that when he drives his car on the highway he might get hit by a truck and be maimed for life.

But most importantly, Jack should avoid being consumed by fear. It’s easy for people like him to over think things and get let worry rule their lives. Sex is no different than any other aspect of his life in that to live an interesting life means there’s a certain level of risk. I love NY and find it invigorating to live here. But it’s also tends to be popular with terrorists. I love getting my cum in a guy’s ass, but that can put me at increased risk for HIV. Is there really that much difference between choosing to live in NY and choosing to bareback?

What would be sad (from my perspective) is 10 years from now for Jack to feel like he missed out…

I was a bit horny late this afternoon and so I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a hole to seed on my way home from work. Got 3-4 responses in about a half hour. One was really hot, but too far out of the way, one didn’t respond, one just wanted oral, etc… So I went with the one who was just a little out of the way. He sent a face pic and he looked like a pretty normal/average guy. He mentioned that he was a bit heavy, but I figured I’d just deal with it.

I show up at his place, the door’s ajar and I saw a naked guy through the window in the living room, so I just went in… There was theater memorabilia all over the place, and the guy looked like his pic, but wasn’t really my type (bodywise – which wasn’t visible in his pic). He wasn’t skanky or anything, just not my type…

I figured I’d give it a shot anyway, so I had him suck me. When I was sorta hard we tried fucking. Every time I’d pull out he’s clean off my dick…

Finally it was obvious it just wasn’t happening, so I told him I wanted to take a piss, clean up, and go. He asked if I wanted to piss on him, I said sure… I positioned myself over him, and he started sucking on my dick. It took a while for me to be able to piss with a 1/2 hardon, so I just gave it time and relaxed as much as I could.

I started to piss a bit while my dick was in his mouth and he swallowed it. But I don’t think he intended to be drinking piss, so when the next spurt came it went mostly on his chest.

He then got up and I heard him gagging a bit in the other room… My piss was probably pretty rank – it’s not like I’d been drinking beer all day at work… He returned, gave me his cell number and told me to stop by again sometime.

?

Back in the beginning of January “Bubble Bottom Slut” started a blog about his sex life called “Staying Faithful and Being a Slut” where he tells all about the sex he’s having behind his boyfriend’s back. (He has an interesting definition of ‘faithful’)…

Anyway, since January 10th, he’s gotten fucked 90 times with a condom. In 43 of those encounters the guy came in his ass (in the rubber). It should be mentioned that most of those encounters were in sex clubs where he’d offer his ass to whoever he thought was hot… He also got fucked bareback 9 times by guys he was pretty sure were neg – getting 7 loads of cum in his ass in the process. Plus his boyfriend has fucked him bareback 8 times and shot in his ass 4 times (which explains why he’s looking elsewhere for sex).

If you read his blog he’s been a bit conflicted about barebacking with guys other than his boyfriend. He likes it, but he’s worried about the risk he’s taking. It should be mentioned that if he became poz he might have issues with his career – so becoming poz is a problem for him on many levels…

A lot of his readers are telling him to stay “safe” and always use rubbers. But my contention is that he’s safer when he’s barebacking… Why? For two reasons – 1) He doesn’t know anything about the guys who fuck him with condoms but he does a good job vetting the guys who bareback him – he makes them get tested before they can fuck him raw, and 2) Condoms fail 10% of the time…

In other words, having 90 strangers fuck you with a condom and taking “safe” loads from 42 of them is the equivalent of having backing your ass to a glory hole and having 9 guys fuck you bareback and getting anonymous loads from 4 of them. Mind you, he’s had a lot more fun over the past 5 months than he would have backing his ass up to a glory hole one or two nights (risk vs. reward), but my point is – there’s still some significant risk…

Let’s go into more detail… What I’m about say is based on an article in the January 2002 issue of Journal of Sexually Transmitted Diseases, entitled “Reducing the Risk of Sexual HIV Transmission: Quantifying the Per-Act Risk for HIV on the Basis of Choice of Parnter, Sex Act, and Condom Use”. It was written by researchers from the Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention-Surveillance and Epidemiology at the CDC in Atlanta. I encourage people to read the entire article. The article doesn’t have new findings, but it’s a compilation of what was known at that point…

IMHO, the most important part of the article is the table at the top of the second page. To figure out how much risk you’re taking you take a number from each of the three columns and multiply them together and then compare the results.

Let’s take the two scenarios for Bubble Bottom Slut…

Getting fucked “safely” by strangers has the following risk factors – 43 for gay sex with a person of unknown HIV status, 100 for receptive anal and 1 for using a condom.
Total score: 4,300 (though I’ll discuss the 43 below)…

Getting fucked bareback by someone you’ve vetted pretty well – 1 for gay sex with someone who has had a recent, negative HIV test, 100 for receptive anal, and 20 for not using a condom.
Total score: 2,000

So just looking at those numbers it seems he’s more than twice as safe when he barebacks than he is when he’s taking “safe” loads from strangers in sex clubs.

But it gets worse… If you read the article closely they discuss how they came up with the 43 number – it’s based on an assumption that 10% of the people you’re having sex with are positive. Having sex with a HIV+ person has a risk factor of 430 – 43 is 10% of 430. Bubble Bottom Slut is having anonymous encounters at a gay sex club in San Francisco. Mind you it’s not the rauchiest of sex clubs, but the percentage of poz guys is probably more like 30-40% (and that’s a conservative estimate).

That means his risk is 3-4 times higher than we thought, and instead of being about twice as safe when he barebacks, he’s actually 12 to 17 times safer barebacking than he is having “safe sex”.

But it gets even worse… If you read the article carefully you’ll see that they say the risk factor (20) for not using a condom is based on a 5% failure rate for condoms (1/20 = 5%), but they say you only achieve a 5% failure rate when the condom is used perfectly. The real failure rate is around 10% (some studies say as high as 13%). So that means in reality his risk level needs to be doubled again and he’s actually about 25 times safer getting fucked bareback than he is having safe sex.

If Bubble Bottom Slut tested HIV+ today, based on his activity since January 10th, it’s far more likely that he became positive from the “safe sex” he’s been having than the little bit of barebacking he’s been doing.

Put another way, he could have had his vetted bareback fuck buddies cum in his ass over 1,000 times and not taken the risk he’s taken getting fucked “safely” by the 43 strangers who’ve used rubbers when they shot their wads in his ass…

Even if you’re skeptical of the accuracy of those numbers, the point is that he’s a lot safer getting fucked bareback by negative guys than fucked “safely” by strangers. It’s the reason why the San Francisco Department of Health promotes the concept of serosorting.

The important part in this scenario is for Bubble Bottom Slut to really know and trust his tops… When I say ‘know’ what I mean is that he wants tops who are doing low risk activity (which can include being a bareback top with negative bottoms). My advice to him is to find 100% tops who never bottom…

The reason I say find 100% tops is because those of us who don’t bottom are at much lower risk. Insertive anal has a risk factor of 13 – compared to 100 for receptive anal – so it’s 7.7 times safer.

Frankly, ‘serosorting’ will probably work better for him (as a bottom) than it will for me (as a top) because he’s so careful. I tend to trust what people put in their profiles or say something like “your neg, right?” He actually goes through a lengthy process where he makes them go get an HIV test. He is actually doing serosorting properly – I’m a bit lazy with it.

So, if you’re one of the people encouraging Bubble Bottom Slut to “be safe” and use rubbers, you’re actually telling him to engage in high risk activity. He’s actually a lot safer with his vetted bareback fuck buddies.

The question is whether he’d be as satisfied with a sex life where we was only getting fucked by a few, well vetted guys. He seems to like public sex with strangers. And if he’s going to be engaging in public sex with strangers, then he’s being as safe as he can be by using condoms when he does it.

Bottom line, he should stop worrying about the little bit of bareback sex he’s having – it’s low risk. If he wants to reduce his risk, he should start by cutting down on all the strangers who are fucking him with condoms…

“Confessions of a Bareback Top” is a blog by a guy who says he advertises himself as a “safe sex top” but then gets the bottoms he fucks to go raw and take his load. I’m guessing most of you have read the blog at one point or another… I think some of what he says is probably true, and it can definitely be an entertaining read, but I’m now absolutely convinced some of the big details that make him so controversial are completely made up…

Let’s take his latest post… He talks about hooking up with a “kid” off Craigslist, doctoring the condom and fucking the kid raw when the kid thinks he’s got a condom on, and then cumming in the kid’s ass. Not only does he call his trick a “kid”, but he insinuates that he might be a virgin – it’s all in there to make people feel more strongly (one way or the other) when reading the story – which does make for a good read…

But what gives ‘Confessions’ away is the details of how things went when he bit a hole in the condom… First off, have you ever tried to bite a hole in the tip of a condom while having sex without the other person noticing? I have (years ago – not in that headspace anymore). It’s not easy and the one or two times I tried I was unsuccessful – the condom did just fine. If he really did write up how that went it would be pretty funny, ’cause he’d keep biting and biting and nothing would be happening and the kid would be like “fuck me already”…

Next he says (more than once) that the condom stayed on the shaft of his dick and just the head was uncovered. That’s just pure bullshit. I have had condoms fail on me before (intentionally and accidentally – again years ago – don’t touch the things anymore), and after one or two strokes the condom is all bunched up at the base of my dick like a bit messy plastic bag.

If you don’t believe me – try it yourself… Just try to discretely bite a hole in a condom and see how long it takes you to actually puncture the rubber. Then when you do finally get a small hole in there (use a knife or razor blade when you give up trying to bite a hole in it), put it over your hard dick and masturbate a little and you’ll see what happens. But realize ‘Confessions’ has said in the past he’s got a big dick, and the kid’s hole was tight, and that he was fucking the kid pretty hard. I know there’s no way in hell to keep a condom on the shaft of a big dick that’s pounding a tight hole…

IMHO, ‘Confessions’ not only didn’t do what he said, but he’s never doctored a condom in his life. If he had, he’d know it just doesn’t work the way he described…

Some of what ‘Confessions’ says is true. He’s fucked a couple of guys I’ve fucked (at least he says he has) and in one particular case, he described the guy’s personality pretty perfectly. But I think he likes to embellish some of the details pretty significantly… When he said he barebacked the husband of an A-list celebrity all sorts of people tried to guess who the guy was. He told me some of the comments got pretty close, and even told me who the person was. I’m tempted to spill the beans, but it’s really irrelevant – ’cause it’s all fiction… He may have actually fucked some guy in the bathroom of a mostly straight club, and the guy might have had a passing resemblance to the husband of a big name actress, but seriously…

Bottom line, Confession’s sex life is just too spectacular, and now there are serious holes in some of the critical details. I think there are elements of truth to it… I think plenty of “safe sex” guys will forego condoms in the heat of the moment, and there are definitely tops out there that will cum in a guy’s ass when the bottom doesn’t want it. I know, I’ve been there… Hell, I’ve even taken off a condom half way through having sex and then cum in the guy’s ass… [Again, not in that headspace anymore – so don’t have a tizzy, plus I knew I was neg (and still am).] I’ve even barebacked “monogamous” boyfriends, but you don’t have notable sex every week or two. Real sex lives are more boring than that – even if you’re a bit of a slut…

I’m not saying you shouldn’t read Confessions (he’ll stay in my blogroll), I’m just saying you should take a lot of what he says with a grain of salt, ’cause chances what you’re reading is at least partially fiction…

Incidentally, from a professional standpoint, what he’s done (intentionally or inadvertently) is brilliant Internet marketing – but that’s the subject for another post…

UPDATE:

I’ve just become confident in a hunch I’ve had for a while… That Confessions is the same guy who for years kept literally begging me to fuck him and cum in his ass. I even went to hookup with him once – though I think he gave me the wrong address and phone number (or he’s not as attractive as his pics)… Sorta puts a whole other light on the guy… Not a bad light, just a different light…

Are there any bottoms out there who want me to line up guys to fuck them? Basically, you’d give me your details (pics, stats, when you’re available, etc.), and I’d put ads on-line and find guys to fuck you… You can’t say no to a fuck unless the guy’s a complete troll and lied big time on his pics and stats, or has an obvious STD infection or something… I’m not going to be responsible for making sure the guys are neg, so you’d need to be OK with taking loads from guys without knowing their HIV status…

This would just be an occasional, on-going thing (not a one-time gangbang) and we’d need to work out the practical details… But if you’re interested, e-mail me at rawtop@yahoo.com. Send me your pics, stats, availability and most importantly, tell me your limits…

I’m guessing there are a fair number of bottoms who’d be up for it, so just realize I’m only going to pick one or two bottoms to work with…

Just thought I’d mention that in addition to the daily bareback stories I’m posting in the ‘fiction’ section, I’m now starting daily bareback pics in the porn section….

ENJOY!