What Exactly Is “Traditional Marriage”?

2 June 2009 | 1 Comment

This video goes over everything you need to know about “traditional, biblical marriage”. But just remember – while it turns out it’s very inclusive – it just doesn’t include you

Also available in HD on YouTube

“Traditional Marriage”

29 May 2009 | 9 Comments

I haven’t been political for a while now, but saw these and thought they were funny…

As much as I want gay marriage I wasn’t all that upset by the Prop 8 ruling. I think if people in the middle of the road see that the discrimination is real they’ll care a bit more next time it’s in their power to vote or sign a petition.

And if you haven’t heard, the two lawyers who fought each other on Gore v. Bush (a Democrat and a Republican) are teaming up to take the Prop 8 fight into federal court. Their argument is that it’s fundamentally unconstitutional to create separate institutions for separate classes of people – in this case domestic partnerships for gay men and lesbians, and marriage for heterosexuals. And that marriage is a “fundamental right”. I’m somewhat surprised that they didn’t also mention how dangerous it is for a majority to be able to take away a right of a minority, deemed constitutional by the courts, via a popular vote. One of the purposes of the courts is to protect minorities from the tyranny of the majority. But that may factor into their arguments down the road – who knows…

Not surpringly most of the big gay rights groups are going ape shit over the lawsuit saying a negative precident could set us back years. I said pretty forcefully last year that I don’t agree with the hyper calculating approach to gay rights. I mean I get where they’re coming from and I know they have good intentions, but it just seems totally wrong to me to be polite and patient about discrimination. Call a bigot a bigot, be angry, challenge them…

IMHO, Losing On Prop 8 Was Probably A Good Thing

7 November 2008 | 15 Comments

I know this post is going to be pretty controversial, but while I would have liked to see us win on Prop 8, after thinking about it for a few days, I think losing on Prop 8 is actually a good thing for our community.

The gay community used to be pretty political – in your face, and radical. We used to look bigots in the eyes and say “fuck you!” Now we look those bigot in the face and want to be like them. We’re running to the suburbs, setting up house like Ward and June Cleaver, and wanting those bigots to accept us.

Well, they’re bigots, why in the hell do we want their acceptance? Why should their acceptance matter? Why is it that our sense of self-worth is in their hands in the first place?

That’s why I think losing on Prop 8 is good for us. It’s a slap in the face to all the people in our community who are trying to be “straight-acting”.

Then there’s the 27% of the gay community that voted for McCain. They fit in there somewhere, but in a very complicated way… Needless to say, they horrify me. Only 15% of Manhattanites voted for McCain, how can nearly twice as many gay people vote for him? How is it that Manhattan is twice as liberal as the gay community?

Yes, I’m legally married, and I think we should have the right to marry and have our marriages fully recognized everywhere. I don’t want civil unions, I want marriage because “separate but equal” is always separate and never equal. [I’d love to get Obama in a room and have him, as an intelligent black man, look me in the eye and tell me that “separate but equal” is a good idea.]

While I want gay marriage, I don’t want our marriages to mimic straight marriages. There are those in our community who want marriage so they can be more like straight people, so they can be better in line with heterosexual norms. That’s just fucked up.

This summer I said I was really disappointed in Lambda Legal for telling gay people not to sue for their rights. I think the loss on Prop 8 sorta vindicates what I’m saying. I realize there’s legal strategy behind what they were saying and they didn’t want negative precidents, but for god’s sake 30 states have now made gay marriage illegal. We can’t even win equality in California where the Republican governor is fine with gay marriage. What does that tell us about the US right now? If you can’t win through being nice in a place like California, you’re fucked and it’s clearly the wrong strategy.

I think we should have a blitzkrieg of lawsuits and our rallying cry should be that we are not 2nd class citizens and we won’t just shut up and sit in the back of the bus. I think we need to hold friends accountable for how they vote, and even take it into our business lives and refuse to do business with bigots, when we’re able to do so financially.

I really like the fact that some people are talking about stripping the Mormon church of tax exempt status. We need to be in-your-face radicals. We need to make people see that it’s not acceptable to be bigots. For too long we’ve let the fundies take the battle to us. Let’s turn that around. Let’s show that you’re not “pro-life” if you start offensive wars that kill tens of thousands of people, and you’re not “pro-family” if you can’t respect loving, stable homes that happen to be gay, and you’re not “defending our children” if you don’t allow unmarried people to be foster and adoptive parents.

If you need a model for how a radical strategy works, just look back to ACT UP and the fight for AIDS treatment. ACT UP was throwing blood on people, but it raised the issue, made a point, and softened people up so they’d make deals with the moderates in our community. But now we have no radicals and the right wing extremists are painting our moderates as “too extreme” and “dangerous”. Well, let’s show them too extreme and dangerous so they can understand the difference.




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