My first failure in 6 months
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26 September 2012 | 2 Comments
Sunday morning I had a hookup with a guy in the neighborhood. He’s one of those “neg for neg” types who I wonder about. Probably is neg, but not sure how much longer… He made the comment before I went over that he’d been partying a bit. PNP + bareback isn’t a good formula for staying neg – especially when you’re a bottom…
But I digress. When I woke up I had morning wood so I got online not really sure whether I wanted to hookup or just stay in bed and rest. The guy hit me up and he was so close I couldn’t really say ‘no’, so 5 minutes later I was at his place. He had a duplex and he went ahead of me down the stairs. As we got to the lower level things were really dark. I could barely see where I was going and actually walked into a side table at one point.
We got to his bedroom and the blinds were drawn but there was still just enough light to see what was going on. The guy had a stocky build. Some might consider him a cub, but he definitely wasn’t a bear. That body type is hit or miss with me, but other than when I was sick, and the sex party where the guy wanted me to rubber up after I started fucking him raw, I’ve had a perfect streak of being able to cum every time for 6 months now. I had thought I was past my problems with not being able to cum every time.
But that’s not how it went. For the most part my dick cooperated to the point where I’d get hard enough to fuck – I’d say it was about 80% hard. But I just couldn’t find a position with him that rubbed my dick the right way so I’d go the extra 20% and be hard as a rock and cum. Hell, I’ve even cum when I wasn’t fully hard, but that didn’t happen with him either.
I’m not sure if we’re just not a good match physically, or if my dick just wasn’t in the mood that day, but I tried a number of times with him and couldn’t make it work. He definitely got a few decent fucks in there while I was trying (it wasn’t a complete waste of time), but the point of it all – cumming in his ass – just never happened.
Finally I just gave up and left.
Since he mentioned he’d been partying a little I asked if he’d gotten fucked by other guys. He said ‘no’. That actually worries me a little – I wonder if he’s partying by himself. Doing drugs solo is always a bad idea. Besides being a little sad, you could have a bad trip and need help and there won’t be anyone there with you to look out for you.
Afterwards I realized he lives next door to someone I know socially. I’m sure they know each other. I’m starting to wonder whether fucking people who live so close is really a good idea. Verdict’s out on that one…
Meh…I wouldn’t stress on it too much. As you’re well aware, we’re all subject to these mysterious failures to perform, even under the hottest circumstances. Then the performance anxiety kicks in, effectively killing any chance of success. I oughta know lol. It’s all part of being male.
I wouldn’t worry too much about acquaintances finding out your “dirty little secrets”. One thing I realized early on is that almost every gay man, including the ones whose profiles loudly scream about their morals and monogamy, will need to scratch that itch now and then. Heck, I get more of that kind than anything else as a truck driver, since I reliably won’t be around to expose their indiscretions. I’ve found that most of the concern about what people will think is confined to your own head.
As for the partying guy, well yeah, partying on your own is kinda sad. But it’s entirely possible that he started out with friends but the party had broken up and he was on the downward slope of the run. It’s also possible that he was lying about other guys fucking him (a lot of tops don’t like the idea of sharing) and he was just saying whatever he had to to get laid. Tweakers do that. Or it’s possible that everyone else he might have been partying with was a bottom and/or couldn’t perform. Point being, you should never trust a single word coming out of a partier’s mouth. Except when they say they want you to fuck them; that’s rock solid.
[…] A mid-20s blatino guy (just my type). He’s almost been too eager. The other day when I had the failure, he was texting me and calling me while I was fucking the other guy. In hindsight I should have […]