If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know for a number of years there my physical appearance wasn’t on the top of my list of priorities (to put it nicely). I sorta let myself slide and in the process got heavier and heavier. Then a few years ago I started losing weight unexpectedly – about 3 pounds a month (I was a bit more active and just wasn’t as hungry). I dropped about 35 pounds that way over about a year. Then I leveled off between 215 and 220. I stayed that way until last Thanksgiving last year when I started going back up slowly. Recently I’ve been in the 225 to 229 range.

What I realized in all of this was that I’m too sedentary. While it’s nice to lose 35 pounds without really trying, eventually it comes back so I need to do more. Plus, on top of everything else, I’m not happy with my stamina – especially when it comes to sex. I cum quickly because I’ve learned if I wait too long I can’t cum – I just sorta run out of steam. Same goes for my erections. I’m not going to pass judgment on others, but being a bear just doesn’t suit me. I don’t enjoy it.

So as of a couple weeks ago now, I’m now back at the gym. My goal is to #1 increase my cardio health, #2 reduce fat (particularly around my waist), and #3 build strength and muscle.

My running out of steam should be helped by all three. Better cardio health will improve endurance and blood flow. Blood flow is related to erections, so that’s a plus. My favorite position is with the bottom on his belly – but that means I have to support my entire weight as I hover above them. Weighing less (#2) will help, and being stronger (#3) will help me support myself more easily. And who knows – I may find with my “new body” that there are other positions I like. I mean I remember when I was in my 20s I used to love to have a bottom with his legs in the air. Maybe I’ll go back to liking that. And I remember when I was stronger literally tossing bottoms around the bed when I wanted them in a different position.

So I’m expecting things to improve for me sexually. But I realize it’s going to take time. I have a scale that tells me body fat percentage. It’s not terribly accurate, but it gets in the ballpark. Right now it’s telling me I’m carrying about 70 pounds of fat on me. But back in the day when I was in good shape I had about 30 pounds of fat on me. So the ultimate goal is to lose 40 pounds of fat. (If I manage to gain some muscle, total weight loss will be less than that). However, I look decent when I’m around 200 lbs and carrying 40 pounds of fat on me – that’s how I was when I did Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend (10 years ago now). So even losing 25 pounds (30 lbs of fat plus gaining 5 of muscle) would be great, but I’d like to lose more than that if I can.

When I was younger (late ’90s) I lost about 20 pounds in 3 months and then kept going down – 40 pounds after 7 months, etc. I’m older and being a little less rigorous with my diet this time, so I’m not expecting to go down that quickly this time, but hopefully by New Year’s I can be in decent shape (around 200 lbs or a little less) and then lose the rest early next year.

After not going to the gym for probably 12-15 years, I was actually a bit shocked at how weak I’ve gotten. I used to be able to lift quite a bit more weight. I mean it makes sense when you think about it, but you don’t really notice it when the muscle is fading away. The only exception is my legs – they’re still relatively strong.

The problem is that the way I was taught to do weights when I was in college was to go to failure on every set (while being careful about form). That sort of workout is exhausting when you haven’t been to the gym in 10+ years. Right now I can barely walk ’cause I did a leg workout a couple of days ago. My quads are killing me. And if it’s not my legs, then I’ve probably done some upper body exercise and holding my arms up is difficult.

So oddly, right at the moment, working out is killing my sex life. It’s hard to even sit in a chair and do work. The idea of expending energy to fuck someone is just out of the question. But hey, it’s temporary, and in the end my sex life will be better, right? The question is how much better… We’ll see…

I forgot to take before pictures. I didn’t take any until I’d been working out for a week and a half, but for the record, here’s where I stand as of a few days ago… I’ve got a lot of work to do to whip this into shape…