Well, I spent 3 hours today getting an HIV test. Thought I'd try the free, anonymous clinic, but there was a waiting room full of people there when I arrived. My bf had gotten blood drawn at a doctor's office a couple weeks before, so he was off getting his results too. For the record, we're both still neg. Other than the wait time, I was pleasantly surprised at how non-judgemental the conselor was. She just asked the questions she was required to ask and didn't give any commentary at all.

After running around doing other stuff, as I came into our building I realized today is the 12th anniversary of my lover's death. He died January 5th, 1995 – about a year before protease inhibitors came out. I always wonder whether he'd still be alive today if he could have held on for another year. But once he had dementia, there was no point in trying to prolong things.

So for those of you who think I'm cavalierly taking risks and don't fully appreciate the consequences – you're completely wrong. I stayed with my lover until the day he died and one of the strongest memories I'll ever have is giving him a bath in the hospital a couple weeks before he died. I knew he had lost weight, but I didn't realize how much. He used to have the most amazing bubble butt – nice perky and muscular. But it was gone – just completely gone. But the fact of the matter is that HIV/AIDS is very different today than it was 12 years ago – you have many, many more good years these days. But chances are eventually it will catch up to you even now…

But at the same time I'm a huge advocate of the idea that it's completely sane, normal and "healthy" to take some risks in your sex life. In many other aspects of your life you take risks to make your life more interesting and enjoyable, and some of those risks can kill or disable you. Why is it that when it comes to sex, people think there should be zero risk? I mean I was watching a guy ski down the face of a mountain the other day on TV and nobody was wagging their fingers at him telling him he was going to die… Our society glorifies some risks and stigmatizes others…

Enough preaching…

So after the HIV test my bf and I went to look at cell phones and renew our cell phone contract. I had researched and researched and researched and knew what I wanted. Like the last time, he just showed up and said OK to what the sales guy suggested. That didn't go so well last time so this time I talked him out of the one he was about to buy and he said later he was glad I did…

You're probably wondering what in the hell this has to do with my sex life… Well, I got a Nokia E62 – big screen, full keyboard, web browser, chat client, e-mail… Guess what I can use it for? That's right – hooking up when I'm not at home… Very handy… The first thing I did when I got home was point the web browser at Craigslist to see how it did with that and it did pretty well. We'll see if it improves my sex life or not…

After getting new cell phones, we went to my favorite piercing shop on 8th Street and got myself a new ring for my PA – 2 gauge, 1" diameter circular barbell. Tried to put it in when I got home, but my hole needs to be stretched a bit – maybe it will go in tomorrow…

As far as sex goes… Let's just say multiple plans for hookups have fallen through… It's a bit frustrating, but hopefully I'll fuck somone soon…