Repeat With A Guy I Fucked 7 Years Ago
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11 March 2008 | 10 Comments
Load 2008-20
Back in 2001 when my bf and I had been together for a little over 3 years, I wasn’t getting enough sex and I was fucking guys on the side (bareback of course). It was during this time that I fucked “Max” who went on to be the NY-based porn producer for Treasure Island, which is how 3 years later I wound up fucking Dawson in Dawson’s 20 Load weekend… But I digress…
My memory’s a little fuzzy, but if I remember correctly my bf found out I was fucking guys behind his back, there was a big argument, and the outcome was that we’d do 3-ways with bottoms. We thought this would be a great idea. We found a few guys and had a few good hookups (one of the guys we even later saw on Law & Order). But the problem was guys were usually either into one or the other of us, and we always used condoms, which I hated.
But we did find a few bottoms and the very first guy we did a 3-way with was this little, well-built, poz black guy. My bf was fine with him being poz because we were going to fuck him with rubbers… I remember a few things about him – like how his hole felt – it was like a wonderful muscular tube. The other thing was that he went shopping with us afterwards to Triple 5 Soul… (That was the first and last time we went shopping with someone after fucking them)…
Anyway, a few years later I see him online and we chat, he figures out I bareback, and he mentions that he wished he had taken my load. And then later he figured out I was the person behind this blog… For a number of reasons we never hooked up again – until last night…
I see him online yesterday on BarebackRT and tell him I want to fuck him. He had the day off, so he comes over after I was done with work. He looks great – hasn’t changed much in 7 years. He apologizes for having gained 10 lbs, but as I find later, the 10 lbs works well on him… Of course, I gained a lot more than 10 lbs over that time, but he’s fine with it…
He had said he was OK with pics or video provided people couldn’t figure out who he was, but the problem was I couldn’t find the tripod and my bf wasn’t around. I didn’t want the distraction of having to hold the video camera while I fucked, so video was out. After taking off the necessary clothes, I grab the camera and take pictures of his ass. The pictures aren’t as hot as the real thing… What you can’t see is how he’s like the perfect little beefy, muscular bottom. Nice ass, great chest and arms…
So then I put down the camera and eat out his ass, then I have him blow me, then eat out his ass some more, then he blows me again, etc… I then lube up his hole and my dick, pick up the camera again and go to fuck him. But the camera doesn’t take a picture when I press the button. I look and it turns out the memory is full on the camera. So sorry guys – ass shots are all you’re getting…
He’s a bit sensitive when I start fucking him, so I take it slow… His hole feels really good… He’s on his stomach, which is my favorite position with little guys. It would have been so easy to just blow my load after a few strokes, but I wanted it to last a while, so I fuck him with slow and deliberate strokes. Finally, I just can’t hold back any more and I unload in his ass. That’s what he came for – it’s the load he’s been wanting for years…
I keep my dick in his ass (I had taken a couple pills so I was able to stay fairly hard after cumming). I continue to slowly fuck him as we cuddle and talk a bit. His ass is all cummy and feels absolutely incredible… He tells me that was the first load he’d gotten in his ass in about two years. He has a boyfriend, doesn’t live in Manhattan where it’s easier to get laid, and since he’s versatile most guys seem to want him to top.
I remembered he was a sweet guy, but had forgotten what his personality was like. He’s sorta straight-laced in many ways – until he starts talking about sex. While he doesn’t get enough of it, he loves fucking raw – breeding and getting bred. And he’s really in love with Treasure Island videos…
I think I fucked him longer after I came than I did before. It was just nice and relaxed. Then I pulled out, he cleaned off my dick for me, and we cuddled and talked some more. Among other things we talked about him being poz… He’s been poz for something like 20 years – looks great, and has had very few health problems. (He previously he’d told me he’s been “undetectable” for years). He also mentioned he had jacked off 5 times that day thinking about taking my load. That was too bad ’cause I remember him having a really nice dick – but he wasn’t getting hard ’cause he had jacked off so much…
Then I wanted to fuck him more, so I went back and pounded his ass. This time I didn’t have to worry about cumming, so I was a bit more forceful than the first time. But at the same time, since I had cum earlier, I wasn’t completely hard. Eventually I went a bit too soft to fuck and we cuddled some more with my dick in his ass.
It felt really good to cuddle with him – his body was beefy and muscular – his chest and arms felt really good.
All in all it was a great hookup. I need to get him back here and videotape it (can’t believe I couldn’t find the damn tripod – but once he was here I wanted it to be about him, not about the video equipment…)
Rawtop,
It seems less and less like a “risk vs. reward” than an “inevitability for reward” that you are dictating your sexual life by. Fact is if you keep having bareback sex with guys who are HIV+, you will contract it. I’m curious why you have resigned yourself to this. Especially since HIV medications do take a toll. And they do affect many aspects of life. I see plenty of guys with facial wasting and other visible signs of HIV medications side effects here in the city and all over, really. It’s NOT a good look!
Seems like you just can’t find happiness unless you’re barebacking and marking up your load count. Is that really #1, the end-all, on the list of life’s pleasures? Just trying to understand…
And again, the reckless behavior you were pondering a few posts back is enabled by all the barebacking porn, blogs, etc. out there. They see it, they want to do it. It’s just a shame a whole new generation stands to become infected en masse.
ewelthorpe – I’m not some tweaked messy kid. I’m an adult making my own choices. I’m OK with what I’m doing, as are apparently a lot of other guys who are barebacking…
Let’s just leave it at that…
Devoting a website to barebacking isn’t just “being ok with what I do.” Its announcing to the world that this is the right thing to do. People don’t devote blogs to things they’re embarrassed or indifferent to.
Rawtop,
Alas, I can’t just leave it at that. If you and “some tweaked messy kid” engage in the exact same behavior, what is the big difference? And you, unlike the messy kid, is articulate and maintain a blog glorifying and exalting your behavior to boot. In some ways, you’re more dangerous because he’s gonna just self-destruct and no 19-year-old kid is going to follow his example.
Alas, what you said is pretty much the same as an anorexic who starts a blog about the glories of getting skinnier and dying from anorexia (and yes, there are a LOT out there) saying they’re different from a junkie who isn’t eating because they’re a messy tweaker.
And all due respect, you can argue what you do is your own business and consensual, but when someone becomes HIV-positive and insurance or public programs pay for their health care and meds, that DOES directly affect me and pretty much everyone else in the city/country. We all end up paying for it.
dan dan noodles – Yes, I’m saying barebacking is the right thing for me to do, and I encourage other people to try it. But ultimately it’s a personal choice.
I’m sure there are blogs on skydiving and bungee jumping. Whether you engage in those activities is a personal choice, but there’s a chance they could kill you. Why the double standard when the activity is gay sex?
ewelthorpe – So, you’re in favor of not spending public money to treat smoking related illnesses, or diabetes that was the result of the person eating too much fatty food? Again, why the double standard when the activity in question is gay sex?
In case you all haven’t gotten it yet, there’s a reason why I say sex is political and these two (presumably gay) commenters have illustrated my point beautifully – they’re fine with all the harmful behaviors we do like not getting enough excercise, eating fatty foods, smoking, driving too fast or driving when we’re tired… Go look at the mortality and morbidity statistics – those things are a lot more expensive and result in many more years lost than HIV. But they’re not OK with my sex life.
Why are these same people are OK with straight bareback porn but not gay bareback porn?
We need to stop the idea that gay sex is dirty and something to be ashamed of. That the only “acceptable” image of gay people are the sexless “married” (but not really married) “straight-acting”, suburban couples who pretend to be monogamous.
This blog started as a way for me to get down in words how I was feeling about some sexual and relationship issues. It’s morphed as my thinking and situation have changed.
I choose to bareback. I think others have the right to make the same choice. In fact I think most gay guys already have made the decision to bareback. IMHO, it’s not something we need to be ashamed of.
This blog continues to be a reflection of how I’m thinking about sex. ewelthorpe and dan dan noodles seem to think I shouldn’t have the right to express my thoughts.
Why don’t they just start their own blogs and talk about their sex lives and how wonderful it is to use condoms? While I completely disagree with it, Chi Chi LaRu’s new site is about as good as it’s going to get in promoting “safe sex”. They’re fighting an uphill battle (that’s probably already lost), but go ahead and try anyway…
The Internet is a marketplace of ideas. If you don’t like what you see out there, try to do better…
Rawtop,
you sound like Bobbi Campbell and all the others from the early chapters of And The Band Played On. I am very pro-sex, it happens. And I think someone can have 30 bathhouses’ worth of sex in a week and that’s dandy. But I do think we owe each other and future generations a bit of wisdom and a responsibility to try and curtail the spread of HIV. It is a horrible little virus. There is no cure. It mutates. The medications lose their effectiveness. And the fact is (and I think it was a doctor on a Savage Love podcast who pointed this out): something at some point worse is going to join the party. And when it does, if everyone is barebacking – because that’s what people encourage and hype – it’s gonna spread right quick and we’re going to lose a whole lot of our brothers yet again. I really don’t want to see that happen.
You yourself seem to be as enabled by all the websites and pro-bareback resources out there. You’re just paying it forward, I know.
And you’re right, I should put some time into a pro-condom blog or resource. Thanks for pointing that out.
And comparing bungee jumping, where only one person dies if there’s an accident, to barebacking, where you not only potentially get HIV yourself but spread it to untold numbers of people who in turn spread it to untold numbers of people (some or many of whom are too naive to make their own rational, adult, informed judgments, which is why we have that responsibility – personal choice isn’t always a sage choice or one that should be made, like a 7 year old voting), is a REAL stretch.
ewelthorpe – OK, maybe bungee jumping isn’t the perfect analogy… Maybe I’m the guy flipping hamburgers at McDonald’s – eating some of them myself, but enabling my customers to get heart disease and diabetes.
Actually, that’s not a bad analogy… The customers came into the store willingly, they know the risks, they could die from it if they take it too far. But yet they really just like the taste of Big Macs with a super-sized fries and an enormous Coke to wash it all down.
Just call me The Hamburglar!
Why is it all the safe-sex fanatics troll these bareback sites and criticize people? Methinks they’re getting off on it but don’t want to admit it. Reaction formation anyone? Look it up. The most vehement critics tend to be the worst offenders. Might I mention Eliot Spitzer, who crusaded against prostitution? LOL.
What I think is amazing, is that they’re actually so naive and arrogant to think that THEIR lecturing to people is actually going to make people stop barebacking. Yes, all powerful ewelthorpe. You have such a signficant impact, you are SO powerful that our behavior is going to do an about face due to YOUR words of “wisdom.” Rawtop has clearly chosen this route, and I’m sure he knows full well the side effects of HIV meds. And your “…if you keep having bareback sex with guys who are HIV+, you will contract it” statement is misleading. It’s not an inveitability for tops; Christ, it’s not even an invevitablity for BOTTOMS (though pretty close).
WOW. I can’t believe what I am reading here in the comment section. I’m confused. Did you not log on to a bareback sex blog? What were you expecting? Disney on Ice??? First, gentlemen, you chose to log on to this site, you chose to read the blogs (and probably watch some of the hot videos). It’s pretty simple, if you don’t like the site or agree with the content, don’t visit this site. I mean, really what could be easier? Second, I understand about the comments about spreading the disease. I, myself only practice safe sex. My choice. But we do live in a free society where we have the choice to practice somethings that are not healthy or safe for us. I personally smoke, even thought I know the dangers of smoking. It’s called making a choice and living with it. I appreciate the hard work and time rawTOP has put into this site and have enjoyed blowing numerous loads while visiting this site. Enough said. If you don’t like it go somewhere else!
I don’t understand why guys who want to promote safe sex (eg. ewelthorpe) criticize RawTop for being up front that this is a bareback site. Of course, it’s his choice, and it seems that RawTop is willing to take his chances and live with any consequences. More power to him.
I’m a 100% bottom who plays safe 90% or more of the time. (I occasionally have raw bb sex with a few trusted fuckbuddies who’ve always tested negative.) My choice!!! I’m negative, too, and hope I stay that way. But, if AIDS were not around, I’d much prefer to be gangbanged, and have my hole seeded with RawTop’s cum mixed with as many other hot tops’ cum as my greedy pig hole could take.
But AIDS is around, so instead of doing the raw deal myself , I fantasize more about it, and I use RawTop’s blog to read about his and his topbuddy’s adventures breeding every boihole they can find. So, in a sense, RawTop is doing me a public service. I’d give him a gold medal if I could.
We’re all big guys now, and should be able to make our own informed choices, and figure out what our own customized risk tolerance level is.
Keep on posting, RawTop.