I am SO over meth addicts
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12 May 2013 | 12 Comments
I am so sick and tired of meth addicts. These days I usually don’t bother with guys who are partying, but… The day after Jockstrap Night I was seriously horny ’cause I hadn’t cum and had had Cialis as well as herbal stuff, and with a hangover I wasn’t accomplishing anything, so I figured I’d hookup. This really hot tattooed muscle guy hit me up and wanted me to fuck him. I could tell he was seriously tweaked, but hot muscle guys can be fun – though when they’re partying they can be so flighty and unfocused that they’re bad lays – it’s a crap shoot with them. Well, my horniness won out and I said yes and headed over to his place.
Even before I went over I could tell something was up. He took FOREVER to respond every time I’d send him a message. In my experience that’s typical for meth addicts – time just passes at a different rate for them or something. They get distracted briefly and forget they’re chatting with someone online, etc.
So as I headed down to his place I tweeted “Headed to fuck a hot tattooed muscle guy but suspect he’s seriously tweaked. Fingers crossed.”
With WiFi & cell service in the subway these days I started receiving texts from him wondering where I was. I gave him responses but then he’d ask again a few minutes later. It wasn’t looking good… He was also rambling on about how he wanted me to humiliate him for having a small dick, etc. That’s all good, but usually guys who go over the top are in it for the fantasy, not the reality – so it made me worry just a little.
As I was crossing the avenue, about to get to his place he texted me and said “if the front door of my building is stuck I promise someone will cross over very soon too. We are having access issues.” Then a moment later he texted “I’m doing this”. That sent off huge warning bells. I started to see what was going on in his mind. I figured he was probably the type who couldn’t have sex unless he was high because he wasn’t honest enough with himself and comfortable enough with his sexual desires to do it while he was sober. But when he’s high he can tell himself “I’m doing this” / I’m really going to go through with it.
Then he texts me a pic of his ass (to the right) which reminds me why I’m there. I mean, a hot ass is a hot ass and can be a lot of fun to fuck.
I get to his building, press the buzzer and he buzzes me in the first set of doors, but I can’t get in the 2nd set of doors. I figure that was what he was talking about and don’t worry about it. I buzz again but he can’t get me in the 2nd set of doors.
Now at this point any sober person would have run down and let me in. But no, he stays in his apartment and continues texting me… “Are you in?” to which I reply “Throw on some shorts and come down shirtless to let me in” thinking it would be fun make a guy who’s high semi-expose himself to his neighbors. He responded “Give it 2 min please? If nobody works out I’ll get dressed.” I figured why not…
Then he texts me saying “I’m so spread open right now” and sends me a pic of his abused hole (to the right). I guess he’d been using a dildo on himself or something. Tight hole, loose hole, whatever… But he follows it with “Please come up and use me. Please.” To which I respond “Come down and let me in”. I mean time was passing and I was starting to get frustrated. But instead of coming down to get me, he replies “Get up here and split me open. Grrrr.”
Grrr indeed… With the frustration mounting I text him “I’ve been waiting 5 minutes already”. Does he come down and get me? No. Instead he tries to do a FaceTime call and when I don’t answer that he sends me a video of himself talking to me. Seriously? I mean I’m right down in your lobby. If you want to talk to me, come down and let me in…
A few minutes later I text him “I’m about to leave”. You’d think that would get him off his ass and down to let me in. He replies “Seriously?” and then a bit later “I just made a you a movie. I’ll come. Fine.” At this point I realized I didn’t want to fuck him anymore and I knew deep down that that meant I might as well not even try – it wouldn’t go well if I did.
So I left and from the street I sent “It’s 10 min. I’ve left. You’re fuckin’ rude.” Of course THEN he replies “I’m on my way” and I just reply “I’ve left”. He tries to blame the door for the problem and then winds up calling me “lame”.
At this point I’m over being semi-polite… “No. meth addicts are never worth the trouble.” He comes back with “You’re gonna start throwing names and crutches? I’m rude? Have a nice evening.” (BTW, if I didn’t mention it before – it’s noon when all of this is happening.) I challenge him by saying “Am I wrong? Don’t think so.” In other words I was 99% sure he was a meth addict. I didn’t call him any names that weren’t true. He response just didn’t make sense…
I asked you to give a couple min to allow a scene to carry on.
That’s all.
I’m sorry you’re upset. I wish you a good night.
“Allow a scene to carry on”??? To me that means he gets off making guys wait. Or maybe he didn’t mean that at all – who knows. The “good night” comment literally at noon (12:03 to be precise) was too funny. So I just figure I’d be brutally honest with him…
It’s not night. You don’t even know the time of day. You haven’t had a sense of time since I started messaging with you. Because you’re high you have no clue what 10 min of waiting feels like to someone who’s sober. Meth is going to kill you or at least make you a sad version of the person you could be. There’s nothing hot about you right now.
That was the end of the conversation. Never heard another word from him. I don’t know if being tough and brutally honest with a meth addict is even the right approach. But I do know that saying nothing and just letting them continue on accomplishes nothing.
Hopefully when he’s sober he’ll look at the string of texts and see things differently. Not sure that will help either though. I mean what does it take for a meth addict to stop doing meth?
If this meth guy has a drug problem, only he can fix it. If I thought that it was even remotely possible that you could help him without his participation, I would have cheered you on and told you to continue reading him the riot act!
But since he is in the grips of his own personal problems, you were just collateral damage. He did not mean you any personal offense.
You are way too cool to worry about him. He does not get to ruin even 1% of your mood by his actions. Good for you for walking away! Imagine if you had stayed…
Coming from a guy who’s had issues with meth in the past and hopefully not the future, I think you did the right thing.
Whenever I used it, I had similar issues to the gentleman you are talking about. I reckon in that sense I was worse than most.
If people legitimised my poor behaviour, by even not saying anything, then I certainly wouldn’t have woken up to distinguishing reality from fantasy as quickly as I did and may not have taken steps to control it.
In the end, when you’re on meth, you can be completely selfish. In turn, while you should consider a meth head’s predicament, you ought to be selfish in reply too.
Then again, if a meth head behaves well and plays your game, then you should reciprocate if that’s what you want.
I live in Berlin (Germany) and here drugs are a huge issue.
I personally don’t take drugs and don’t drink alcohol. I get my flash when fucking (true!). Nowadays a guy is exotic when not taking chems (as they call it here).
I was this weekend attending a session and we were three tops and two bottoms.
When i came in all the stuff was laying on the table and they were al taking stuff. I was invaited to get myself something and when I said “No thanks I don’t do drugs.” they all went silent and looked at me as if I came from Mars.
After a few moments one of them said “Really? And how can you sleaze than?”
I replied “Well I just love fucking and when I mound a guy I just fell comfortable and really happy. No need to take chems to be happy.”
They looked at me again as if was very stange and than one guy said “Cool!”
This proved me that they know in fact that it is crap to take drugs to be relaxed but the gay scene (all over the world and not only in Berlin) is very demanding.
So if a guy goes out to hit the bars/clubs or to attend a fucksession, they feel so insecure about their looks, their gear/outfit (depending which scene one is into) and if they are sleazy enough, that they need to numb their insecurities to be the “cool hot sleazer” they would love to be natural.
I am heavily into leather and when fucking fetish is a must. In the local leatherbars there are so many guys in perfect gear standing pretending cool and rough. But when one looks in their eyes (eyes never lie) than you can see that they are wearing a disguise to attract leathermen.
I thin if the gay “community” (which is not really a community anymore) would be more freindly and tolerant, the guys would be more relaxed and would not need drugs to feel good.
Personally I don’t fuck guys who took stuff.
This is an interesting discussion. I am 8 months free of meth now, after using it about once a month for a year. Meth makes you associate “the high” with “the activity” you engage in while high. Sex feels like driving a Ferrari, although you can’t get it up or cum. I drove while high (still a very safe driver). I thought driving was the most amazing thing that happened to me. Sex also felt like the best sex. Under active addiction, it becomes harder and harder to have sober sex. Sober sex feels like watching the grass grow, even though the guy is a super model. I totally understand why so many meth addicts can’t quit. It took me find a great therapist after trying out a few others. Underlying problem is almost always not loving yourself and not feeling good enough. Believe me, if you use meth a few times, you’d understand why meth is hard to quit. I am just telling you this so that you can understand why many can’t quit it.
@ rawTOP: You CAN NOT shake a meth addict awake. Trust me. I tried for 4 years. My ex and I would party and play. I didn’t do it all the time or consistently. I didn’t get so high I was tweaked out, but I’ll admit I really loved fucking and getting fucked while on meth. For me it was “recreational”, but for him it was a lifestyle. He could not play with out the “party”. I tried to move us in that direction as a couple and he just couldn’t be sober and have sex so I left. All these years later (10 to be exact), he is still deep in to that whole scene with no signs of stopping. Supposedly, I am the love of his life. He hasn’t been with anyone since me, but the truth is meth is the love of his life. Someone like that has to lose what ever is most important to them and truly hit rock bottom. You can say your peace to an addict but don’t expect it to change anything unless they are ready for it to change.
@ rawTop: I’m sorry to hear that. I have a four year old daughter and I’m not sure how I would ever recover from something happening to her. I assume on a level I wouldn’t. As far as your friend, he still has not lost everything because he is still alive and able to carry on with what he is doing (Albeit destructively). He may have to lose even more than his daughter! Maybe his own health. I don’t know what it is for him as it’s different for everyone. I think all you can do on your end is express concern, listen and point him in the direction of better choices. Ultimately, if it becomes to painful or toxic for you then you might have to cut him out of your life. I’m sorry if that sounds cold. Even though I don’t know him, I hope he gets better and can heal as much as possible from the tragedies that have broken his spirit.
Well, I think you shouldn’t have made tge assumption on your first approach. There could be a number of reasons why someone can be so erratic in their responses. However, the way you apprached him the second time seems like you had some genuine concern if he was, in fact, a user. All signs do point there. I’ve met my share of tweakers (former recreational user here) and I can understand the annoyance with solidifying plans, or lack thereof, with a sketchy user.
I dont think this was actually a meth issue. This guy was just a wanker. I dont think he had any intention to meet up with you in the first place. Dont ask me why or what is the logic. Some idiots just get off on that…
[…] I hate meth. I really and honestly do. With all the hysteria about barebacking and HIV, when was the last time you heard about someone dying of AIDS. I mean it happens and having HIV is no fun. But compare that to the last time you heard about someone dying of from meth. Meth keeps killing. You only hear about the porn stars that die of it, but for every porn star that dies there are tons of other regular guys that are dying. […]