If you’re in NY and you go out to clubs at all, you should know Daniel Nardicio. I don’t go out much at all to clubs and I know Daniel Nardicio (it helps that one of my friends owns one of the bars/clubs where he has hosted parties, but…)

If you remember a few years back NYC had a huge blackout. Apparently there was some huge candle-lit party that night that was a bit “frisky”. My bf and I went to the one year anniversary party of the blackout and let’s just say there were parts of the club where the candles were quickly blown out . Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it was an underwear party… So what do guys do when they’re drunk/high, in their underwear, in the dark? That’s right – dance/grind, suck dick, and fuck bareback… It was a great night. Back then my bf was trying to bottom for me, and so I was fucking him surrounded by a bunch of other people… It was pretty hot…

Anyway, I digress, but it is connected. Daniel used to have a web site (danielnardicio.com) which had pics from his events (including the blackout underwear party we went to). I’d go, look at the new pics and wish I were 19 and still doing the clubs… But recently the web site’s been down – don’t really know the background of why it’s down, but it is…

So I googled him and found his page on dlist.com which you’ve got to check out. His latest antic is to put a bunch of drag queens, go-go boys, porn stars, and other assorted club kids on a school bus and drive them around the US. It’s pretty funny when they stop at rest areas and one of the drag queens (a transsexual) goes missing ’cause she’s giving blow jobs to the truckers…

All in all, I love Daniel Nardicio’s energy. I’ll never be like him or even in his crowd, but people like that make the world go ’round and without them things would be boring. When the gay community was first coming out of the closet in the 60’s and 70’s people like Daniel were the first to come out, and it was a wonderfully colorful period in our history (not that I participated in it other than being inside the church gay people picketed).

People like Daniel are important because they push the boundaries of what’s acceptable. Even though all the “average”, “boring” people are coming out of the gay woodwork and establishing middle-American lives (and god bless them for it), we really don’t have acceptance unless people like those in Daniel Nardicio’s school bus are accepted too.

And for god’s sake – he’s funny and puts a smile on your face… So spend an hour and look at the videos from his road trip – you’ll be glad you did…

One of the guys I mentioned in my post the other day about young, adorable bug chasers just e-mailed me…

your blog entry makes me want to die. you will probably disregard this message, but i sincerely hope you take down my portion of your entry. that was me when i was a young kid and was thinking about my future. luckily and thankfully nothing came of my bug chasing. but your post makes it seem as though i still want it…which is not the case. i dont know how to say it any other way…please pleaseee take it down? yeah, thats my begging you–a 19 year old kid begging you to take it down because it will ruin him. i hope you understand. if not…cest la vie. i guess its just my fault in the end right? or perhaps its yours for attracting more men to message me? who knows…

I find the e-mail a bit funny. I mean “that was me when I was a young kid”. Dude… it’s less than a year later – you’re still a young kid…

Since I he’s probably reading this – let me be blunt. Kid – you’re need for seed won’t go away. And while you’re now scared of HIV, the fact that you were ever once in the headspace to write…

hey men, im at [state] university and looking for a man or a group of men to bring me out somewhere (i don’t care where you are)…and just endlessly rape my hole making sure that the last neg load to come outta my body was the one that lubed up my tight hole before u plowed in. im 18 years old, freshman, and lookin for it.

no regrets. give me your hot poz seed. whore me out, gangbang me, rape me…anything you want…

…means it was more than a casual desire to get pozzed. You may have toned it down a bit, but I’m guessing part of you still wants to get pozzed – you’re just scared of it. What that means is that when some guy shoves his raw dick in you when you haven’t discussed status, you’ll probably just take it, and sooner or later one of those guys will be poz and their bug will take.

I was chatting with someone a while back who said he had fucked the kid on a number of occasions a couple years ago and that he was a sweet kid. And yes, 18 minus 2 is 16, which is under the age of consent (17) here in NY (who knows how accurate the person was or if he actually ever had sex with the guy). My point is that virgins don’t start out wanting to get pozzed – it takes some experience getting fucked, taking loads, to know you like it and the likely result if you continue is that you’ll become poz.

There are a lot of reasons why guys would want to become poz. They may be majorly depressed, or they may just be incredibly submissive, or they may simply be sick of the worry and want to “get it over with” so they can be the slut they want to be without the guilt every time they fuck.

Depression they can get over, though they’ll still have to deal with the fact that sexual russian roulette was something that they found attractive. In other words, when they’re not depressed they may be able to control their urge to get pozzed.

Guys that are completely submissive are another thing completely. I remember reading a posting on bnskin where a slave didn’t know what to do because his owner (who was poz) wanted to fuck him raw and he was neg. His submissive side told him to submit and give his master what he wanted. His other side said to find a new master. In cases like these unless the slave finds a neg master and they’re pretty much monogamous, things don’t look so good…

If you layer promiscuity onto the whole submissive thing it gets very different. Here we’re talking about sluts who just love being sluts and getting cum in their ass. There’s really no way these guys are going to stay neg and personally I feel it’s one group where it actually makes sense for them to be bug chasers. I mean, there’s no way for them to stay neg, and since HIV will be with them for the rest of their lives, they should accept it, and if they want a ritualized conversion – fine…

Then there are the huge mass of guys who have a submissive or slutty side to them. It doesn’t rule their life, but from time to time they let some guy fuck them raw without asking the guy’s status… It’s hard to say what this group should do, but a lot become poz as a result…

So who knows which category the kid falls into, but personally I think he probably will become poz one day – those desires aren’t going to just go away. Being a bug chaser at 18 is pretty hard core…

There was a discussion on bnskin a while back on “do you forgive the guy who pozzed you?” and the overwhelming response was that no one pozzes you – you get yourself pozzed. Which means there’s a little bit of a bug chaser in all of us – even the guys who want to bury their head in the sand (or the pillow) and ignore the fact that it’s not safe to get fucked with a rubber by a poz guy…

So no judgements… Do what feels right, but please think about it first and make sure you really understand what you’re getting into and that you’re OK with it.

One side of bareback sex are the kids who learn to love cum in their ass so much that they choose to become poz. As kids have gay sex earlier and earlier and as HIV is seen as less of a problem, this is the case with an increasing number of kids (who knows how many). I’d guess most young guys who become poz didn’t exactly look for it as much as they stop thinking about it and it “just happens”, but a select few actually seek it out.

It’s one thing for an older guy who knows what he’s doing to choose to become poz, but I wonder sometimes about kids – whether they really know what they’re doing… Nevertheless, it’s their life. I just hope they’re happy with their decision 10 or 20 years from now.

Still, some of the young bug chasers are incredibly hot. This post is a run down of a few I’ve come across online. In some cases the links have stopped working, and who knows whether it was fantasy or real for them, or if they’re still in the same headspace, but here they are…

There’s this 21 y.o. in the UK who posted a message saying he was looking for a conversion party (the link doesn’t work any more)…

‘Mo_Boy69‘ (19, 6’, 160, Missouri) posted a message on a Google Group saying he was looking for poz tops…

Then there’s ‘BreedMyHole18‘ on bareback.com (19 y.o., 5’6″, 130) who says

I’ve known for years the only way to have sex is to bareback. Taken a lot of loads and always craving more.

His profile says he’s neg but will play with poz or neg – doesn’t come right out and say he’s looking to get pozzed, but he knows what he’s doing, so pretty close to a bug chaser…

And lastly, he’s not quite as young as the other ones (21), but there’s ‘crfish20‘ on bareback.com who lists himself as negative, but says he’s looking for guys who “can be positive”.

Tonight my bf and I watched Thank You For Smoking. I’d recommend everyone see it (especially people reading this blog). It’s basically a satirical look at how someone could be a tobacco lobbyist and sleep well at night.

If you’re wondering why it’s relevant to this blog, think about the parallels between smoking and bareback sex while watching the following clip…

The point is people choose to do things that are ‘bad’ for them ’cause they enjoy them. It’s all about thinking for yourself and making your own choices…

Yeah, I know… My sex life has been pretty sparse lately. I’ve seen ‘friend of a friend‘ a few times lately, but just for normal stuff like going to the movies and hanging out and having a drink – it hasn’t gotten sexual.

Part of the reason why it hasn’t gotten sexual is ’cause my dick felt a little itchy and I’ve been meaning to go have it checked out (it’s been 6 months since my last test). But it was itchy right around my PA – so it’s just as likely that that’s what’s acting up ’cause it’s been getting worked over as I J/O…

But anyway, I digress… So yesterday afternoon I was tired but horny. I figured I’d try to find a hole to drop a load in on my way to meet my bf and a friend for drinks, so I posted an ad on Craigslist. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a bareback bottom in midtown or Chelsea, but all I was getting was people on the Upper West Side and even one in the Bronx.

So I had another idea… I thought I’d stop by an ABS and see what the gloryhole action was like. So I got onto squirt.org and jotted down a few to try.

I should start by saying ‘back in the day’ I never really liked ABSs… They always seemed like a huge waste of money. I’m not big on blow jobs – they’re just foreplay to me, and bathhouses always seemed like a better bang for the buck (pun intended). Only once did I ever have a bottom back onto my dick in an ABS, but I’d get to bareback multiple guys when I went to a bathhouse…

Yesterday didn’t change my mind any… Not only did I get caught in a downpour with no umbrella on my way to the bookstore, but when I got there the sign said $1 for 3 minutes. $20/hr? Damn – bathhouses are a lot better than that… Bottom line I wasn’t going to pay $1 for 3 minutes of maybe getting my dick sucked, so I walked out…

I then met up with my bf and had a drink at Gym Sportsbar – I like that place a lot. In a day when all the bars charge an arm and a leg for crappy drinks, Gym has good drinks at good prices. And they have a good crowd – a little bit of everything, actually. I just wish bars in NYC had backrooms…

Turns out for the longest time we were standing next to the guy I thought was the hottest guy in there… He reminded me of a muscley bartender / go-go dancer I dated ages ago… Hot, hot body, and sweet guy, but also not the brightest bulb in the pack… And there was a latin bottom who reminded me of my Brazilian fb, who kept looking at me, but I was too tired to interrupt him and his friend and start talking to him…

So yes, one of these days I actually need to fuck someone and spread some of my seed… But life’s busy in a good way, so I’m not complaining…

I had an e-mail from a reader the other day…

My name is Jack. I am an avid reader of your blog and I wanted to ask you a question. I am an HIV negative bottom and I crave raw dick and cum in my ass. But, to date, I haven’t taken any raw dick, except from guys I have dated regularly and trusted. I want to branch out and try the occasional raw hookup, but I don’t know how to approach it. Obviously, this is a hard choice to make.

I am considering hiring an escort I know who does bareback occasionally. He claims he is neg and DDF, but I have no way of knowing for sure. He only barebacks for double fee, but I really want to have his cum in my ass.

Based on your estimates, what do you think my risk factor is?

Let’s just say I’m glad I’m not a bottom… It’s not easy making decisions like the one Jack’s making…

There’s a lot he didn’t say in his e-mail… How old is he? Though the fact that he’s thinking of hiring a hooker makes me think he’s not a twink. What are his priorities in life? How comfortable is he with risk in other areas of his life? Someone who drives like a maniac, goes skydiving, or backpacking through war zones is probably more comfortable with barebacking than an accountant who dreams of having the perfect heterosexual-style wedding and settling down in the country with his partner, two dogs and a kid…

I guess what it boils down to is that I think some guys should use condoms since it’s consistent with how they live the rest of their lives, while I think other guys should just give up and get into the mindset that they will become poz… The question is what should those of us who aren’t at one of those two extremes do?

For starters, make your own decisions and don’t second guess yourself after the fact. If you really need cum in your ass and in the moment you’re OK with doing that with a particular guy – don’t beat yourself up after the fact even if you became poz as a result. Bad things happen to people who think negatively… Don’t go there.

Or put another way, realistically think about your limits ahead of time, live by them, and if you don’t wind up living by them re-examine them since you may not have been realistic about things when you were just being theoretical. That’s not to say you shouldn’t learn from your experiences and do things differently in the future (I’m wondering whether the last two hookups were worth it)… Just don’t freak out about things after the fact…

Obviously Jack has thought about things and recognizes his need to get cum in his ass – and not just from whoever he’s dating… If he has that need then it’s good to be realistic about it and deal with it. Suppressing it isn’t a good long term strategy on many levels. So it’s good that Jack acknowledges it and is trying to find ways to scratch his itch…

At the same time he seems really concerned about risk. That’s an understandable step at the point he’s at, but he needs to be realistic about that too in that nothing is guaranteed. All he can do is play the odds and pick tops his gut tells him are neg. But even then he might wind up with poz cum in his ass… He needs to know that might happen and accept it the same way he accepts that when he drives his car on the highway he might get hit by a truck and be maimed for life.

But most importantly, Jack should avoid being consumed by fear. It’s easy for people like him to over think things and get let worry rule their lives. Sex is no different than any other aspect of his life in that to live an interesting life means there’s a certain level of risk. I love NY and find it invigorating to live here. But it’s also tends to be popular with terrorists. I love getting my cum in a guy’s ass, but that can put me at increased risk for HIV. Is there really that much difference between choosing to live in NY and choosing to bareback?

What would be sad (from my perspective) is 10 years from now for Jack to feel like he missed out…