The other day I mentioned that HIV infection rates in NYC were down overall, but up for young gay men. Now the City has released the analysis of the causes of death for 2006 (PDF) and actual deaths from HIV are the lowest since 1984. In fact they went down a whopping 14.8% between 2005 and 2006. Given that we didn’t know HIV/AIDS existed until 1981 or 1982 – we’re basically at an all time low for HIV-related deaths.

For those of you who wonder why guys would “risk their lives” barebacking… The reason is simple – ’cause they don’t see people dying anymore. The generation before me was decimated, my generation saw some people die and a lot of others have serious problems (prior to 1996 when protease inhibitors came out). The generation after mine just never saw the sick or dying and they are the ones where HIV infections are on the rise.

Still, 1209 people died of HIV/AIDS in New York last year. I really wish the report told more about them. We know 34% of the deaths were black men; 21% black women; 11% white men; and 3% were white women. We know they were more likely to live in the Bronx (357 with a rate of 26.8 per 100,000) than in Manhattan (277, 18/100,000) or Brooklyn (363, 14.7/100,000). We know (luckily) that kids are no longer dying of it – just one death under the age of 15. We know the average age of people dying of AIDS is climbing (now up to 48.7 years for men). We know that in terms of “years of potential life lost” that both cancer and heart disease are each two and a half times the problem of HIV/AIDS. HIV/AIDS is on par with overdoses and murder in that regard.

But how long had they been poz? Did they have good insurance? Did they adhere to their cocktails? Did they take recreational drugs? Did they have other health complications? Were they gay, bisexual, IV drug users?

There are trends in the statistics that make me think actual deaths from HIV/AIDS are primarily hitting low-income communities of color. If the deaths aren’t predominantly in the gay community, it means AIDS-related deaths in the gay community really are at an all-time low and explains why the only group with an increasing rate of HIV infection is young gay men – they just aren’t seeing the problem, so they don’t see the need for a solution. It’s classic risk vs. reward behavior.

Outsiders always have the initial impression that New York is some sort of sex paradise, but the reality is actually quite different. The only way in which NY is good for sex is the sheer number and variety of guys we have here. It’s not hard to find someone to hookup with – unless you’re picky or something… And then there are private sex parties (more on that in a moment)…

The problem is there are laws on the books that prohibit sex in commercial establishments – PERIOD. No oral, anal or vaginal sex. It’s a bummer – you go to a J/O club and there are “monitors” running around saying “no lips below the hips”. And any bar with a back room doesn’t last long before it gets shut down… The bathhouses are lame – the saunas and steam rooms are usually closed (by order of the Health Department), and you can’t do anything in public areas and the rooms have signs on their doors saying “one person per room” (yeah right)…

So now there’s a report out by the NYC Department of Health that makes it seem like things may get even worse. According to the report the rates of syphilis and HIV infection are up (even though another study says NYC HIV infections are down overall) and so the Department of Health is trying to figure out how to control people’s sex lives to bring down new infections.

It’s the controlling people’s sex life part that bothers me the most. They’re trying to limit anonymous sex in particular and social norms that encourage/accept large numbers of sex partners. Needless to say that doesn’t sit well with me…

Now the curious part is their evaluation of where things stand and what they can do about it. They talk about how there are only 4 bathhouses in the City, and they respond pretty quickly when a bar or club gets a dark room… The bathhouses they’re worried about because they can’t legally enter the “private rooms” to observe what’s going on and they seem convinced that there’s stuff going on.

Yet the “problem” continues and the root of the problem, according to them, is private sex parties which are largely unregulated. Some of these are highly organized and function much like bathhouses. But there are a few problems enforcing the laws when it comes to private parties – first, the parties move around as soon as there’s a hint of a problem, and second the DOH inspectors don’t want to remove their clothes to get into the parties and to take any action they have to actually observe the sex act.

One of the funniest statements had to be

In two New York surveys, bathhouse users reported large numbers of sex partners per year (mean 26-29, median 11-12)

Having sex with one guy a month is considered a “large number of sex partners”? LOL… In the gay world that would amount to a single guy who’s not successful at dating (or hooking up)…

The end result is that they seem to desperately want to close all bathhouses and private sex parties or, at a minimum, turn them into San Francisco style bathhouses that have no private areas and are rigorously monitored for safe sex compliance. UGH!!!

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone to a bathhouse or a private party (the closest I’ve come were the informal gangbangs last year) – so this doesn’t directly affect me. Actually, it helps in a way ’cause the guys who would go to the clubs and parties need another outlet when they get closed – so they turn to regular hookups which gives me more guys to fuck…

Still, all this really bothers me. I guess you’d call me a libertarian on this one – I just don’t think it’s government’s job to interfere with our sex lives. I’m all for education and information, but not regulation… If I were trying to improve the situation I’d focus on an expansion of free HIV and STD testing… That seems like a helpful role for government.

Frankly, I wish every bar had a back room – maybe then guys would go out to the bars like they did “back in the day” and New York would be fun again…

I just want to give a huge thumbs up to a fellow blogger top in DC who fucked a virgin raw and came in his ass… Then he was feeling guilty for what he did (he doesn’t always bareback, which is why he’s not in my blogroll), but the kid came back with e-mails saying…

I wanted to be there, but I was freaked … The only thing that kept me there was that you took the lead and didn’t give me any chance to change my mind … Thank you for making it so GREAT! The feeling of you cumming inside me was awesome. I fingered myself and tasted your load all night after I left. I will do almost anything if we can do it again sometime.

Needless to say he’s hooked up with him several times since then and dumps one or more loads in the kid’s ass every time…

I’ve never been one to really have the patience to deal with guys who are not sure they want to have sex. It did happen to me once – but it was a weird hookup (long story)… But if you’ve got the patience – take a lesson out of DC Top’s play book and get them addicted to getting cum in their ass with their first fuck…

There’s an article in the NY Times today about HIV infection rates in New York. In the five years 2001 to 2006 the overall rate of infection was down, the rate among men who have sex with men (MSM) over 30 years of age was down 22%, but the rate among MSM under 30 was up 32% (up 34% for blacks and hispanics).

They attribute the increase among young men to a number of things including drug abuse and a growing stigmatization of HIV among gay men which results in a “don’t ask, don’t tell” attitude about HIV status.

I’m too much of a control freak to have addiction issues – when I was young I didn’t like feeling out of control, I never really have done many drugs (just X a few times and pot a couple of times), and I don’t smoke. It’s rare for me to feel drunk, and prescription pain killers don’t really do much for me either… The point is I feel for these young guys with addiction issues, but can’t say I really understand what they’re going through. But obviously guys who do drugs are having a lot more ‘uninhibited’ sex than guys who don’t – it matters how many guys fuck you in a night…

The other curious thing is the whole “don’t ask, don’t tell” thing that’s going on. I’ve had bottoms who had ‘negative’ in their profile tell me they were poz and they had neg in their profile ’cause they had friends who knew which profile was theirs who they didn’t want to know about their being poz…

The article talks about how being poz is now related to reckless behavior, not seen as a tragedy like it it was in the past. Personally, I don’t think of it as either of those items – but that’s the topic for another post… I think we see some of the stigmatization in the vitriolic comments on this blog. And ironically the condom nazis are shooting themselves in the foot – by stigmatizing guys who bareback, they stop people talking about it (people just bareback without any discussion) and the HIV infection rate goes up. I don’t mean to say they’re solely responsible, but they do play a significant role…

The article also talks about a 20 year old kid who realized one day that he was the only person in his circle of about 20 guys who was still neg. That’s absolutely unreal to me and makes me think things like a drug culture really are at the heart of the issue.

The other thing I found really disturbing in the article was the whole idea that poz guys aren’t worthy of relationships. There was one guy who talked about the fact that after he found out he was poz (at the age of 23) guys would hook up with him and maybe go on what he called a “pity date” with him, but no one seriously considered him as boyfriend material. Guys – that’s fucked up… First off, why is it that poz guys aren’t dating poz guys? And why is it that sluts aren’t seen as potential boyfriends? I mean Dawson has a boyfriend… This whole “be like straight people”, “be monogamous” shit is really counter productive. I just do hookups because I’ve got a boyfriend – but long-term relationships are important.

Take a moment, read the article and think about the issues it raises…

Our dear reader ‘ewelthorpe’, who loves to give me a hard time, posted a comment on my last post which went as follows…

Yeah, why not have goals of licking ebola and plague out of someone’s bloody ass? I mean – get a grip! And HIV aside, you must have contracted or spread at least a few viral or bacterial agents while doing your load goal making. Like warts/HPV, hepatitis C, syphillis. Crabs! Now fess up – the butcher’s bill, as it were. What else did you give and get while loading these folks up?

His melodrama is incredible, but nonetheless this post answers his questions – thing is, he’s not going to like what he hears – but then again, he never does…

For starters – a little education… Hepatitis C is something that is nearly always passed in blood-to-blood contact – so it’s an issue primarily for IV drug users, not barebackers (unless they’re slamming crystal). Yes, if my dick were bleeding at the same time some guy’s ass were bleeding it would be possible for me to get Hep C, but the chances of that are close to nill.

When I was younger I was avid about having so-called “safe sex”. I even had two safe sex posters on the wall in my dorm room (grad school), across from my bed… So I think it bears mentioning that during my safe sex phase I was constantly getting crabs and even managed to get Hepatitis B! I remember a time when I was feeling a little down (not too bad) and I remember the whites of my eyes being a little yellow. A friend commented about it, but I didn’t feel all that bad, so I didn’t go to see a doctor. Years later I got vaccinated for Hep A and B and I remember one of the shots making my shoulder really sore. After the vaccination they checked to see if the vaccines worked and realized I had had Hep B previously, my body fought it off, and I was now permanently immune.

A few years after that I had a friend who nearly died of Hep B – they almost didn’t find a liver soon enough, and even after the liver transplant he still has issues… So yeah, I was lucky, but the fact of the matter is “safe sex” isn’t safe – it’s just safer… My most serious STD came from safe sex – and it was an STD that could have killed me.

[BTW, if you get crabs, trim your pubic hair really short and wash all your clothes and bedding in really hot water. You don’t need the combs and nasty liquids if you just trim your pubes. I had to keep my pubes trimmed to avoid crabs – did that for quite a while (made my dick look bigger too…)]

I think it was around 2002 I had an outbreak of genital warts. I wasn’t hooking up much at the time and it’s hard to say when I actually got the warts since they can lie dormant for months or years. Something like 40% of gay men have them and (like most STDs) they can be contracted when you’re using a condom. [BTW, if you have warts treat them early with freezing or lasers. You do not want to have them spread and go through the pain of getting rid of them from inside your ass… I know a few guys who’ve had to do it and it’s extremely painful.]

Otherwise, I’ve gotten a total of two STDs over the past few years (been 100% bareback since the fall of 2004, and about 50/50 before that)… Gonorrhea in 2001 from barebacking at a bathhouse in LA (Flex), and chlamydia early last year.

As far as passing things on to others… My bf had to take two pills in 2001 since he had sucked my dick before I realized I had gonorrhea – but it was just preventative – he didn’t have any sign of it. The chlamydia was more serious in that I had no idea I had it (which is pretty typical) and don’t know how many guys I fucked before I found out. I contacted 2 or 3 of my regular fuck buddies and they got tested and all came back clean.

‘Ewelthorpe’ isn’t going to like this, but all in all I’d say I had a worse time with STDs when I was having safe sex. I mean Hep B is serious and I was getting crabs constantly… What little I’ve gotten barebacking either got caught quickly or was so mild there were no symptoms and didn’t get passed onto other guys – even if I fucked them multiple times… Your milage may vary (I expect it to since statistically safe sex reduces STD infections), but that’s been my experience…

Personally I don’t think that’s a horrible STD history for 18 years of sex… Especially since I’ve sometimes barebacked guys who take anonymous loads – if I’m going to get stuff it’s more likely to be from them than anyone else, but yet I really don’t get all that many STDs – years pass between infections…

That said – get yourself vaccinated for Hep A, Hep B and HPV – even if you have “safe sex” and think you’re low risk. It’s just silly to catch something potentially serious and/or painful that you could avoid with a simple vaccination… And if you think you have something – go to a clinic and get treated.

Well, 2007 was an OK year sexually… Got my dick in raw hole 42 times, 23 of those were holes I hadn’t been in before, and I got 24 loads in guys’ asses, 14 of those were guys I hadn’t cum in before. That’s generally better than 2006 when I only fucked 37 times and only gave 21 loads. Though I did fuck a few more new holes in 2006 than 2007 (26 vs. 23).

Last year this time I had grandiose notions of getting 100 loads of cum in asses in 2007 – but I gave up on that pretty quick. This year I’m going to set minimum and maximum goals. The minimum goals will be to give at least 36 loads (3 per month average) with a minimum of 2 a month, with more other months. In other words, no more going 90+ days without fucking. In addition I want to bareback at least 2 different teenagers this year (legal, of course), and go out of my way to fuck holes that already have a few loads in them, and bottoms who will do bondage/hoods/etc… The maximum goal will be 52 loads (average 1 a week). In order to make those goals happen I’m going to try really hard not to jack off unless I’m confident I’m not going to hookup in the next 48 hours… That should help a lot…

I know those goals are modest by some standards. There’s one bottom here in NY who posted on bnskin.com that he ‘only’ got 228 loads in his ass in 2007 when he was shooting for 250, and I’m sure there are bottoms who get a lot more than that, but I’m happy with my modest goals…

So I encourage all of you to think about what your goals are for this year. Quantify them, and then keep track to see if you’re achieving your goals.

If you still use condoms sometimes, maybe you just start with a goal of not using condoms. Tops can pledge not to have another condom on their dick. Bottoms can pledge to not have condoms available for their tops, and make it clear to tops that they’ll go raw…

Think about what will take you to the next level… Maybe it’s putting out an ad for an anonymous hookup where you don’t get a pic, and you put on a blindfold and just let whoever it is dump a load in you… Or maybe it’s going to a sex club or bar with a dark room and guiding dicks to your raw hole. Maybe it’s breaking your record for the most loads you’ve gotten in your ass in a night or weekend… If you’re in a small town you may need to schedule a holiday around sex – go to Berlin or some other city where you can get good and raunchy…

But one way or the other – let’s all just take it up a notch this year…