I had meant to get an HIV test back in early January, but then kept putting off the doctor’s appointment ’cause he wanted me to get an echocardiogram and I didn’t have time to go get it. And with not having much sex, I wasn’t getting STDs, so wasn’t going into the doc otherwise – so it got delayed. January would have been a year since my last test, and I like to get a test at least every year, so I was almost at 15 months and I was overdue for the test. I was about to put off the appointment again (’cause I still hadn’t gotten the echo), but figured I’d go in, if for no other reason to get an HIV test.

My doctor is at Callen Lorde – which started out many years ago as a community health clinic / STD clinic at the gay and lesbian community center. When I told him I wanted an HIV test he hesitated saying he didn’t know if they had a testing person on duty. I told him I really preferred if he did the test (’cause I hate rehashing everything the counselor du jour), but he said Callen Lorde only has HIV testing counselors do HIV tests. I made some comment about how that seemed silly since doctors should be just as able to do the test. He said that while he does a pretty good job telling people they’re poz, HIV testing counselors are the best people to deliver that news. But he also said that Callen Lorde receives funding from the City for the tests. The tests are free but the deal is that the City-funded counselor does all tests.

So if any of you are in NYC and want a VERY gay friendly place to get tested, call Callen Lorde for an appointment. It won’t cost you a dime and the counseling isn’t too intrusive or hostile to barebackers. Last time I got tested I sorta cut the counseling part short by saying I’ve been getting tested for 20 years and just wanted the test. This time, knowing counseling is part of their deal with the City of New York, I put up with the counseling, but did say things like “I’m comfortable with my level of risk” to shorten the discussion and get on with the test.

One thing I should mention is that the tests at Callen Lorde are confidential, but not anonymous. If you test poz they do report that to the State of New York (as required by law). The only place to get an anonymous test that isn’t reported is at a City-run testing clinic. But you can’t make an appointment and you’ll wait for HOURS for the test.

It was sorta funny – going into the test I wasn’t nervous. But the pin prick in my finger sent a shot of pain up through my arm (may have hit a nerve or something), and then I was pretty nervous for the 15 minutes I had to wait for the results. But the test came back negative. So to those of you who always seem to think I’m poz or will be poz at my next test… You’re wrong again.  🙂

Anyway, if you read this blog regularly (or spend much time on my bb forum site – Breeding Zone) you’ll know I’m a bit indifferent to guys becoming poz. But I am a huge advocate of getting tested and knowing your status. I urge all of you to get tested every 6 to 12 months and never let it go more than 2 years. You’re MUCH more likely to die of HIV if you don’t get treated within 2 years of being infected. Early detection and timely treatment is the key to living a long time with HIV. Don’t put it off – make an appointment for a test at Callen Lorde – it’s just 15 minutes of anxiety and it won’t cost you anything. They also have a drop in clinic on Saturday mornings – no appointment necessary.

Know your status!

Load 2011-3

Several of you have posted comments here on the blog wondering where I went… Well, I’m still around but I can sorta tell sex just isn’t going to be a priority this year. Those of you who know me know there’s a big personal project I’m working on. I feel like I’m burning the candle at 3 ends and I’m usually just too busy for sex. (Just to illustrate the change in focus – I’ve done 22 blog posts in the past two months on my personal, non-sexual blog many about the project). Yeah, I get horny, but if I don’t jack off my horniness hurts my productivity – so I just jack off.

Simply put there are times in ones life when sex just isn’t all that important – and this is one of those times for me. I’m sure there will be some negative feedback for saying that – whatever – it probably comes from people who haven’t achieved much in their lives. Anyone who’s pushed to achieve something knows what I’m talking about.

From the looks of it the project will be over at the end of the year or early next year – so there is light at the end of the tunnel 🙂  And it’s something I really want to accomplish – so it will all be worth it.

Since I last blogged I’ve had just 3 hookups…

First Hookup (almost 4 weeks ago)

The first one was with a guy I fucked a few times in the past – the last time was nearly 3 years ago. I had sorta forgotten the details of how the previous times had gone, but they came back pretty quickly as I was fucking him..

The guy had moved. He used to be in a slightly rough walk-up building in Hell’s Kitchen – now he’s in one of those new fancy doorman buildings in Chelsea. The funny part was the two apartments had similar layouts. While I felt good that he’s (apparently) doing better financially, I worried that he may have given up a rent stabilized apartment to get one that’s market rate – where the rent can go up very quickly. (A doorman studio in Chelsea goes for about $2650/mo compared to $1900/mo on average for a non-doorman studio in Hell’s Kitchen).

Anyway, that’s a digression… I get there and he wants to suck my dick right inside his front door (like before). He sucks and sucks and sucks, but I want to fuck. I start bending over to feel his ass, but he doesn’t get the hint. Finally I tell him (several times) that I want to fuck.

When I finally slide into him, his ass feels great – very smooth and sorta silky. But he’s not a very good bottom – I want him to arch his back differently so, with him bent over, I push on the small of his back, but he doesn’t change his position. The position is sorta awkward for me, so I tell him I want to fuck him on his bed.

We move to the bed and it continues to be déjà vu… There I am waddling over to his bed (my pants are around my ankles), and I have to figure out whether it’s worth the trouble to take my boots off so I can get my pants off and fuck him properly. I’m supposed to meet friends at Rawhide soon so I opt for keeping my pants on.

Once on the bed, the fuck is OK, but still not quite right… At one point I pull out and smell shit, so that’s the end of that. I go into the bathroom and wash the crap off my dick, text the buddy I’m meeting for drinks (he texted me in the middle of fucking), and tell the guy I have to leave.

I’m not sure why, but he feels guilty about fucking – says “we shouldn’t have done that”… But he always lets me do it. Problem is he never prepares properly – this wasn’t the first time he was dirty.

Second Hookup (the next day)

So I was horny the next day ’cause I hadn’t cum the night before. There’s a guy who moved into my general neighborhood who I fucked years ago. My spreadsheet of fucks goes back to 2006 and it was before that – not sure exactly when it was, but I do remember fucking him (he remembered and said “so it’s been ___ years”). When I saw him we both had changed since our first hookup (me probably more than him with all the weight I put on).

Anyway, it was a pretty straightforward pump-and-dump. He was a good fuck. Didn’t last too long and as he was leaving he said something like “quick and nasty – just like I like it”… He got what he came for a load in his ass he could take to work. Bet he had a big grin on his face that day as he dealt with his customers as cum was leaking out of his ass… 🙂

Third Hookup (almost 2 weeks ago)

I had a few options that day. The guy from the second hookup was one option, but I didn’t want to fuck the same guy two times in a row. I probably should have gone with him though. Anyway, I had to stop in Harlem for something and then the plan was to stop by the Upper West Side to fuck a cumhole I’ve fucked many times over the past 7 years. I texted him from Harlem to confirm and he had double booked and canceled on me.

So I went down to the Rawhide and where I was going to meet a friend. I was early (’cause I hadn’t stopped to fuck) and he was running late, so as I drank my beer I checked on BBRT for ass in the neighborhood. Usually I strike out with that, but this was my lucky day – a hot guy nearby was up for a quickie pump-n-dump.

I walked over to his place, and he had left the door ajar and was on his bed with his ass propped up on two pillows. Hot body and sweet ass! His hole even felt good as I was fucking it. usually I don’t like pillows under a bottom, so I took out one and then the next, but in his case at least one pillow was a good idea.

He had a great hole, but I didn’t manage to cum in his ass. It was a combination of things – 1) I had had a pint of beer and usually I’m no good sexually when I’ve got alcohol in me – though I didn’t think 1 pint would make a difference, and 2) I was sorta rushed – I needed to get back to Rawhide to meet my friend, and lastly I just sorta wore our before I was able to cum.

I stopped at one point. Caressed him very briefly. Got up and zipped up my pants and left. As I was leaving he said “that was hot”.  I never let on that I hadn’t cum. Not sure if he figured it out or not…

So that’s the extent of my sex life lately – not really much to report… Gotta work on improving that a bit… Hopefully the project will stop being so stressful and I’ll relax enough that I want to fuck.

For a while now I’ve wondered if I was immune or resistent to HIV. And if I was either, I thought it wasn’t exactly “right” to be advocating bareback sex and encouraging others to take risks when I wasn’t taking all that much risk myself. Well, that’s not the case. I got a comprehensive genetic profile done at 23andme.com and I’m just as much at risk as the rest of you…

CCR5 Mutation & Resistance/Immunity to HIV

The most well known genetic mutation that’s related to HIV is CCR5. If you have one mutation (“DI” below) you’re considered “resistant”, if you have a double mutation (“DD” below) you’re “immune”. These mutations are apparently the result of your ancestors surviving Small Pox epidemics hundreds of years ago. Apparently, 10% of people of European ancestry are DI and 1% are DD.

The table below uses more strict definitions of “resistant” and doesn’t use “immune” at all. What people typically call “immune” just means immune from most forms of HIV, not all – total immunity doesn’t exist. 23AndMe calls that “resistant”. And what people typically call “resistant” just means HIV has to work harder to infect you because it has fewer places to attach to in your body. If you’re DI (single mutation), then HIV also can’t replicate as easily and you’ll naturally have a lower viral load if you get infected and that means you’re more likely to be a long-term survivor.

As you can see I’m “II” which means I’m not immune or resistant. I’m just as susceptible to HIV as most people. Which means the only reason I’ve stayed neg this long is because I’m a top and tops are at much lower risk than bottoms.

Honestly I was sorta hoping for DI – a single mutation. I thought it would be asking too much to be fully immune, but I would have been completely happy being a long-term non-progressor. I’m not a big fan of pharmaceuticals. They do great things and I take them when I must, but I’d rather not take them if I have the option. If I had been DI that would have let me stay off meds for many years after becoming poz.

The other thing is I’ve always seemed to be “top 10%” in a lot of things in life – at least the ones I cared about. But genetics isn’t very forgiving in that respect. You can’t work hard and achieve a better genetic profile. You just are what you are. In this respect I’m not top 10% – I’m just average. It was actually a bit of a bummer to find that out.

“Controller” of HIV & Disease Progression

One thing I found out from the genetic test is that there are more genes than CCR5 that affect HIV. There are others control whether your body is naturally able to control your viral load. The first controller genome is rs5968255, but I’ll gloss over it here because it only seems to benefit women – there’s no correlation for men.

Emerging research which was published in Science in November of last year, says there are two other genomes that affect whether your body can control HIV once you’re infected – rs9264942 and rs2523608 (boring names, I know…) – rs9264942 is related to HIV control in people of European ancestry, rs2523608 is related to HIV control in African-Americans.

For people of European descent every “C” in rs9264942 makes you 2.9 times more likely to be a “controller”. I’m “CT” so that means I’m 2.9 times more likely to be able to control HIV than an average person. If I had been CC I would have been 8.4 times more likely to be able to control HIV than the average person. It doesn’t mean I’ll be able to control HIV viral loads – it’s statistics – I’m just more likely to be able to control HIV. Given that I didn’t have a CCR5 mutation, I’ll take any good news I can get.

Unfortunately, rs2523608 isn’t one of the 900,000+ genomes 23AndMe maps. So if you’re black, getting the 23AndMe test done won’t tell you anything about your ability to control HIV. However, if you do find a way to get the results, each G makes you 2.6 times more likely to be an HIV controller. I have a black poz fuck bud who swears he’s undetectable despite not taking his meds – all I can think is that he must be GG on rs2523608.

I also don’t see any discussion on 23AndMe of the gene that’s supposed to make blacks 40% more likely to catch HIV.

So what does all of this mean?

For me it means I’m just as much at risk as most of you, but the silver lining is there’s a chance my body might be able to control HIV if I become poz – but that chance is far from a guarantee.

If you’re one of the “worried well” who are neg but feel drawn to barebacking you might want to get the test to understand your risks better. If you’re DD on CCR5 then you can sorta relax – your risk is truly minimal. If you’re DI on CCR5, or CC on rs9264942, or GG on rs2523608 then if you become poz then chances are being poz won’t be a huge problem and you’ll do fine with no or minimal medication. If you just have one C on rs9264942 (like me) then at least you’re “above average”. But in all those scenarios there are no guarantees. There are forms of HIV that can even get around a DD CCR5 mutation.

If you’re already poz you may want to get the test to understand whether your body can possibly fight HIV on it’s own. A lot of doctors rush poz guys onto meds immediately after infection. If you’re DI on CCR5, or CC on rs9264942, or GG on rs2523608 then that was probably a bad decision on the part of your doctor. In those cases the doctor should wait and see if your body can control HIV naturally. For those people the drugs you take may do worse things to your body than HIV. Now, if you stayed off meds for a while and it was clear your body couldn’t control HIV, then taking the tests is probably pointless – you already know your body’s response to HIV.

I’m a huge believer in data – the more you know the better decisions you can make. If you’re interested in getting a test from 23AndMe, realize they run sales. I got mine for $99 (for the test) + $65 (for a 1 year web membership) + shipping – so about $170. The prices are about $100 higher now.

Other results from the genetic tests…

The test is about a lot more than HIV. 23AndMe maps over 900,000 genomes. I was really glad I did the test because I found out I’ve got a 37% chance of prostate cancer. I’ve got 4 sisters and no brothers. My dad had 5 sisters and no brothers and my mom only had 1 brother (that survived to adulthood). So there aren’t enough men in my family for me to know I was at risk of prostate cancer. Now I know I have to get tested regularly for it.

I should mention that 23AndMe is backed by Google and some really big names in biotech. They’re definitely a reputable company. However, certain states (including New York) have outlawed direct-to-consumer genetic profiling. Their thinking is that these tests should only be performed and interpreted by doctors. As a result I wasn’t able to use the test kit in New York – I took it with me on a trip to Philadelphia, spit into the test tube and mailed it there. So if you’re in NYC and want to do this, realize that at a minimum you need to take a ride on the PATH over to Jersey to take and mail the test.

Honestly, I can sorta see why some people don’t want consumers interpreting genetic tests. For example, I have a much higher risk of Celiac Disease than the average person – I’m 6.55 times more likely to get it. However, even at that much higher risk, there’s still less than a 1% chance that I’ll get Celiac Disease. If I didn’t have a background in statistics I might misinterpret that result and start worrying about Celiac Disease. As it is, I haven’t even looked it up to figure out what it is.

Load: 2011-2

I’m doing horribly this year with having sex. Oh well… It is what it is, there are just a bunch of other things in life that are taking priority right now. Hopefully that will change and I’ll get back into the groove.

Two weeks ago I was going downtown to meet friends for a drink. I needed to hit my PO Box in Harlem before the post office closed at 7pm, but I didn’t want to start drinking too early – I wasn’t really looking to get trashed. So I got on BBRT and this guy hit me up – said he was looking for an anonymous pump-n-dump and he already had a load in him. I love a cummy ass, so told him to keep the load in him – I’d be there in a bit. He was a bit out of the way, but I did my stop in Harlem and headed over to his place.

I got there and the door was ajar and he was naked on the bed on all fours ass pointing to the door. I was sorta hoping he wouldn’t look back – ’cause I love it when a bottom just takes truly anonymous dick, but he did look back, but just briefly.

I’d been running around, so sorta needed to catch my breath, relax and get into the mindset to fuck. I got on my knees behind him and at him out. I love rimming ass and it’s a good way for me to get into the mood. It had been a couple hours since he took the other load, but I could sorta smell/taste a bit of cum. It wasn’t long before I was hard and looking around for lube.

After lubing up I pushed into his ass. It did feel a bit cummy, which is totally a good thing. Even though his ass felt good and cummy given my not-all-that-sexual mood lately I wasn’t sure for a while there if I could cum or not. I started doggy style, but eventually pushed him on his belly since that’s usually the most sure fire way to get me to cum. Then I finally felt it building and I knew I’d be able to cum. But then it was taking a while to actually cum and I started wondering again. But finally I did cum.

I wasn’t really in the mood to cuddle or anything. He finally turned around and I got a decent look at him. I mean I’d seen his body (which was quite nice), but hadn’t clearly seen his face. He wanted me to play with his nipples, but I’d cum and was sorta done. I told him I needed to run to meet friends. It was true, but in truth I could have delayed a bit. He’s a cumhole and got my load, so I don’t feel guilt or anything for not getting him off.

After that I took the bus over and met up with friends at Industry. I like the bar, but they need more bartenders and a better selection of draft beers. I mean seriously – they have Coors Light on tap – it’s possibly the worst light beer out there, and they only have 2 or 3 beers available on tap. Anyway, luckily I got there before my friends. My beard smelled of ass and cum – it’s not all that polite to kiss your friends hello smelling like that. So I went to the bathroom to wash up but then they didn’t have paper towels, so my beard was wet for a bit. Luckily it dried just before my friends showed up. The crowd at Industry is very trendy. Everyone there is trying pretty hard to look good. As a result there’s a lot of eye candy.

The one funny thing that happened is I met up with two friends – @PortaUrinal and a friend in the porn business who runs sites for Dick Wadd, Dark Alley and a number of other pretty hardcore producers. I had told the one friend that PortaUrinal was a piss bottom, but somehow he didn’t put 2 and 2 together and by the end of the night he was asking what we were doing in the bathroom. He thought we were doing lines of coke. lol  He didn’t get that beer makes you piss and piss bottoms will follow you to the bathroom to get the load of piss.

Sorry for getting this out so late – I’ve been pretty sick the past few days. (No, not what you’re thinking… Just a wiked sinus cold.) And before that I was swamped with work.

So the  “Canadian Sub” (the “winner” of the 32 load gangbang) spent the night Saturday night after the gangbang. I had to talk him into it. He seems to have “boundary” issues and was falling for me just hours after meeting me (lol). I just wanted someone to sleep with so when I woke up in the middle of the night I’d have a good cummy hole to fuck. (And I liked him). He was pretty wired and I was pretty tired. We stayed up talking, but about 3am or so I drifted off to sleep. Not sure how much sleep he got. It was nice having him around though. He was nice to cuddle up with and fuck. I think I woke up at one point and we fucked then drifted off to sleep again. Finally we got up around 8. He said good bye and went back to his room.

I don’t do particularly well on 5 hours of sleep. PortaUrinal and I went to breakfast at Union Station, but it was clear it was going to be a slow relaxed day – I just wasn’t up for much of anything else. And taking it easy was one of my goals for the weekend anyway.

Organizing for the gangbang was a bit of an issue… I had moved one of the bottoms to the Saturday gangbang, so I asked Canadian Sub whether he would be the other bottom for the Sunday gangbang – he said ‘sure’. Then the main bottom dropped out saying he wasn’t feeling well, so I needed to come up with another bottom. I knew it wasn’t going to be as big of a gangbang, but I preferred having two bottoms.

Then this 22 year old hit me up on BBRT. I asked if he wanted to bottom for the gangbang and he said he’d be into it. He was the wild card – I was just hoping he’d show up. His status said “Don’t Care” – I was sorta wondering what his story was…

That afternoon I flogged this guy (interesting story – he used to be involved with IML before they went anti-bareback). After flogging him we were laying in bed cuddling and talking and the 22 y.o. texted me and said he wanted to come over. It was more than an hour before the gangbang, but I figured it was better to get him in the room early than not have him show up.

He arrived and the flogging bottom left. He was this sweet, slightly awkward kid. He liked to talk and told me all sorts of stuff. Turns out he was sharing a room with two guys – one poz and the other a pretty serious bug chaser. He hadn’t been tested since the previous summer and didn’t really know his status. After talking to him I wondered how much he really got fucked. He said he had gotten fucked earlier that day, but before that the last time was a month ago. He was clearly was not the typical cumdump who you find bottoming at a bareback gang bang.

I had him check that he was cleaned out properly and we talked some more… He talked about how his parents had opted him out of sex ed in school and I wondered if that was one of the reasons why he had no fear about being a gangbang bottom… He lived in a relatively small town and I think mostly he just got fucked by straight and bisexual guys who needed a hole to cream. He seemed to see sex as a purely physical act (not emotional). Still, he was more than old enough to know what he was doing…

Canadian Sub and PortaUrinal showed up just before the start time. It was a different mix of guys and the vibe was different. Being Sunday it was also just a slower, more relaxed day in general. The blindfolds had worked really well the day before and both the bottoms wanted to be blindfolded, so that was good thing… It helps them concentrate on the dick.

The first top came in and started with Canadian Sub. I figured I would give the kid some dick so he didn’t feel left out. It was good I did – he was TIGHT. I started thinking he may not have gotten fucked earlier in the day – it may have just been a story (you never really know). It took me a while to get in and he was in a bit of pain, but I just held my dick in there till he got adjusted. He needed to be able to take my dick or else he wouldn’t be able to take all the other cock he was going to get. I’d be (sorta) gentle with him. Other tops not so much…

I swapped places with the other top and kept going back and forth between the bottoms for a good 30 or 40 minutes, maybe more… It was sorta fun, but I never did cum.

Then SFVersCumBoy and his boyfriend showed up. SFVersCumBoy is usually a bottom, but as his name implies, there are times he tops. He fucked the kid and his boyfriend fucked Canadian Sub. He gave the kid the BIGGEST load – he hadn’t cum in a week! That was a very good way to get the kid started – his hole was now completely filled with poz (undetectable) cum.

In general the tops were a lot more attractive than they were for the Saturday gangbang – especially early on. Attractiveness of tops is something I struggle with when I organize gangbangs. Sometimes not-so-hot guys can be great tops, and sometimes the bottoms don’t care – they just want the load, but where do you draw the line? At Saturday’s gangbang I wasn’t really comfortable with some of the guys and I didn’t know what the point was that I should ask them to leave. That wasn’t really much of an issue until the end of the Sunday gang bang.

After the kid had 5 or 6 loads in him, my buddy Brad Ramsey showed up. He’s got a THICK cock. After fucking Canadian Sub for a bit he tried fucking the kid. But the kid just couldn’t take Brad’s dick. Brad was patient and kept trying, but the kid was just in excruciating pain, so Brad finally gave up and went back to Canadian Sub and gave him the load.

A fuck or two later I was sitting across the room in a chair watching this hot guy pound away at the kid’s ass. He had the kid flat on his belly and it was a very hot scene. But after he got done the kid sorta curled up in a ball. I’m not sure what happened, but it was over for the kid after that. He said his hole really hurt and he couldn’t take any more. He was literally trembling. I just held him and didn’t push it. I was hoping it was temporary and that he’d get over it, but I realized after a few minutes for whatever reason that was it for him. So I showed him to the bathroom and gave him his clothes.

All in all the kid got 7 loads from 6 guys plus one oral load. Of course the one from SFVersCumBoy was huge and probably counted for several loads. He was counting dicks and thought he had taken 14 or 15 loads. Thing was people like me fucked him multiple times and others were going between the bottoms and then only one would get the load.

The gangbang continued with just Canadian Sub. In the end he racked up 11 loads. So he got 29 between the two gangbangs. Plus he had 8 other loads (4 Friday, 2 Saturday, 2 Sunday), so that means he had a 37 load weekend with 20 on Saturday alone – not bad.

PortaUrinal did pretty well – 10 loads of piss… He totalled 41 loads of piss for the weekend (24 of which were at my gangbangs). He wrote up a post on Breeding Zone raving about the weekend. Glad I could help him have fun – he’s a good guy.

Afterwards the Canadian Sub and I went down to the lobby to have dinner and a beer at the bar. I introduced him to some of the guys who fucked him. “This is Brad, he’s the one with the really thick dick…” It was sorta funny – people knew who he was, but he didn’t know who they were even though their loads were in his ass.  lol

We called it an early night and went back up to my room and he slept over again. I got more sleep this time, but I was still almost dangerously tired driving back to New York the next day (just the last half hour or so of the drive). Canadian Sub is a “grower”, not a “shower” and he had been soft (and really small) the entire time he was with me. I like a bottom with a little dick, but at one point Monday morning I collared him told him I wanted to own him and have him be my boy. He instantly popped a pretty respectable boner. After two gangbangs and 37 loads – that’s what he really wanted – a master to own him… Unfortunately, I can only fulfill that role one or two weekends a year. But it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want more from him if the circumstances were different.

I texted with the kid a few days later – he was apologetic for not lasting longer. Said his hole was sore the next day but he wants to do another gangbang. I think he’s caught the bareback gangbang bug, so to speak.

Load 2011-1

Well, after drinking WAY WAY too much the night before (thanks to @PortaUrinal, lol) much of Saturday was wasted recovering from the night before. This really hot guy wanted to come over, fuck and get videotaped and I kept stringing him along thinking I’d feel better but it was late afternoon before my dick started coming to life again (after taking both a Cialis and some herbal pills).

I went to breakfast with Jayson Park. I hadn’t eaten properly the day before and the rush of calories wasn’t necessarily a good idea. I have a 20+ year history of blacking out when my blood sugar is low and Jayson was sitting there going on and on about some porn thing or another and I was just saying “yeah, yeah” while my mind was consumed with which way I’d fall if I blacked out at the table – lol. Combine low blood sugar with pain or thoughts of pain and I would have blacked out (it happened over 4th of July weekend this past year – at a restaurant nonetheless). Luckily nothing Jayson talked about involved pain, so I got through the breakfast – but I felt like shit and just wanted to go back to the hotel room and digest and get back to normal.

I hadn’t gotten that much sleep and tried to get back to sleep, but it just wasn’t happening. So I stayed awake and tried to figure out the logistics of the gangbang that night. 125 had signed up on BBRT and I had another 10 or 15 off Craigslist (despite some Nazi flagging my posts over and over again). I thought I need 3 bottoms. I had one solid bottom planned. Then I moved a dependable bottom from Sunday to Saturday, but I still needed a third. I was being a bit picky about the 3rd slot. When the puppy I played with last year said he’d be up for it, I was really happy. Last year when we played he was neg, but he had told me he converted since then…

I also spent some time down in the leather mart with Jayson Park. We spent a while talking to the guys from Dick Wadd Fetish which was interesting. Treasure Island apparently had been complaining ’cause they tried for 6 years to get in, but MAL never accepts their application. But in MAL’s defense, vendor space is limited and Treasure Island isn’t fetish. On the other hand Dick Wadd is all about fetish – piss and fisting are a big part of what they do – which is why they were there and Treasure Island wasn’t there. The day before PortaUrinal hadn’t met Jayson and as we were walking past the Dick Wadd booth I pointed to the TV and said “that’s Jayson” – and there he was big as life on the TV screen in a sling getting pounded while guys were pissing in his mouth…

Since I wasn’t really up for fucking I did flog two guys that afternoon, but I’ll give more details about them in another post…

Problem was as we approached the gangbang time the puppy wasn’t responding to text messages. I got a cumhole who had been taking loads all weekend to say he’d come over if the crowd got too much for the two bottoms, but as it turned out that wasn’t necessary.

An hour before the gangbang the first bottom arrived (TallDCPig on BBRT). He lived in the area and needed to check his douche before getting started. He was a nice guy. Sorta a “man’s man” – pretty butch both in appearance and personality. There was a glimmer in his eye – he was excited to see how many loads he could take. Technically he’s still neg… It’s been a year since his last test and he doesn’t really know what his status is. He was a total top up until 2 years ago, then tried bottoming and found he loved it, and the rest is history… They say you should know your status and getting gangbanged and getting a bunch of anonymous loads is definitely one way to be pretty sure about your status 😉

[Though seriously guys – get tested at least every year and never let more than two years go by without getting tested. Guys who wait longer than that are the ones that have bad things happen and die earlier than they should as a result.]

About 15 minutes before the gangbang bottom number two showed up. He was VERY hot… Sorta this beefy muscle guy. Not a total muscle boy – still had a man’s body. In fact he had the body I should have (if I hadn’t stopped working out). I’m going to call him “Canadian Sub” and not give his profile name. There’s a lot more to his story and I want to give him a little distance from what I’ll say about him later…

PortaUrinal showed up about the same time and set up his the portable urinal he made himself using a MORMON training urinal and a bunch of other parts. He’s more than happy to drink from the tap, but some guys get hard and can’t piss which is where the Porta Urinal is helpful…

The first few minutes of a gangbang are sorta funny. The bottoms have been ready for 5 or 10 minutes, but nothing is happening. You look at the time and think “it’s 9:01 already – where are the tops?” but then they start showing up… Oddly they seemed to show up in pairs which was pretty much perfect ’cause it meant both bottoms were getting fucked. 45 minutes in each had taken about 4 loads and the night was off to a nice even start.

At about 9:30 this one guy showed up in a blue oxford shirt and kakkies – totally out of dress code for a leather event. Turned out he was a BIG fan – he was sorta gushing and saying stuff like “I’m so honored to meet you”, which I always find a bit awkward to hear, though I know the person genuinely means it… I just don’t see myself that way… Anyway he was one of the first ones there and didn’t leave until 1am. There was about 10 minutes when he left to talk to Jayson Park (who he’s also a big fan of). He stayed hard the entire time and just kept fucking and fucking and fucking. We dubbed him the Energizer Bunny. At first I sorta just wished he’d cum already, but by the end I was really glad he was there (I was just glad he was one-of-a-kind). It meant that from about 9:30 to about 12:30 the guys were getting fucked constantly – so it was a very good gangbang for them…

[PortaUrinal sorta fell in love with the Energizer Bunny. His stamina was incredible and he was hot as well…]

Managing a gangbang is always a little tricky. There were guys there who I didn’t really like the looks of, but they were respectful of the bottoms and not really causing problems – so the question is do you kick them out or let them stay? After all if I had kicked them out the bottoms would have gotten fewer loads – and the bottoms wanted loads.

However, some guys didn’t understand the difference between a gangbang and an orgy and they started sucking each other’s dicks and wanting to get fucked. Things get out of hand, things get stolen, etc. when it comes to orgies, so I had no problem stopping the guys who were trying to turn the gangbang into an orgy.

The gangbang was supposed to go from 9 to 11 or 11:30, but 11:30 came and it slowed down, but guys kept coming, so the bottoms kept taking dick.

At one point this hot silver haired (poz?) daddy came in. He fucked one of the bottoms but then seemed to want to get fucked. While I wasn’t letting the party turn into an orgy, it was my party and I can make the rules and fuck who I want, so I did fuck him briefly.

I kept alternating between the bottoms fucking one and then the other as the mood hit me, though I have to say I preferred the Canadian Sub. There was one point where I fucked him pretty hard and wasn’t quite sure if I came or not towards the end. His hole was totally sloppy with cum when I was done. He had like 14 loads in him at that point and I literally fucked the cum out.

Then this other guy came in… Hot little guy, probably tweaking a little… He fucked the bottoms a little and then wanted to get fucked. It was pushing midnight and there weren’t many people there. I slid into his ass and it was silky smooth – felt INCREDIBLE…. I hadn’t cum in 6 days and soon I felt my load building up and I blew an enormous load up his ass. When I pulled out he asked if he had gotten my load and I said yes. THEN he asked me my status. It’s been over a year since my last test. I can’t say with any confidence what my status is, so I told him what he wanted to hear – that my last test was neg. He was happy with the answer and didn’t ask when the test had been… [NOT a good way to stay neg.] I should have gotten his e-mail – he’ll be poz this time next year and would make a great gangbang bottom…

Curiously, PortaUrinal (a dedicated bottom) tried his hand at being a bareback top. He fucked the bottoms right at the end of the night. If you’re going to experiment with being a bareback top, fucking cummy holes is definitely the best time to start…

After 18 loads (from 17 guys) the Canadian Sub called it quits. The only people left were the two bottoms, PortaUrinal, the Energizer Bunny, and the “are you neg?” vers guy… The blindfolds had come off, I was in a chair in the corner and the Canadian Sub came over, and sorta curled up between my legs and pretty much melted as I caressed his head, neck and shoulders…

1:30 came and things were finally done. The Canadian Sub had gotten 18 loads from 17 guys. TallDCPig got 14 loads from 12 guys. PortaUrinal got 14 loads of piss. The Energizer Bunny had fucked 3 guys and given one bottom 2 loads and the other 1 load. I had fucked 4 guys and gave the neg visitor a 6 day load. It was a good gangbang…

By the time it ended Canadian Sub and I had been curled up together for close to a half hour. I persuaded him to stay and we had a great night together talking and fucking. Not sure exactly when it happened, but he had fallen for me sometime during the gangbang and was like putty in my hands. But more on that later…