There was an important update to the Swiss statement a few weeks ago that people who are poz but have an undetectable viral load are not sexually infectious… Bernard Hirschel, MD, one of the authors of the Swiss statement, was interviewed at a conference by Regan Hofmann, a straight poz woman. He had a few important things to say…

For starters he addressed the issue of anal sex saying (start at 9:30 in the video, in the link above)…

There are no data… of course one can logically assume that it [the results of studies on anal sex] will be similar…

Again, he’s not saying definitely zero risk, but he is saying the risk is probably greatly reduced – possibly no risk at all…

He also addressed the issue of why there was no data on anal sex and said it hadn’t been studied because the subject is “taboo”. And then he went further by saying political and community leaders think…

…you recommend a condom for everyone and everything and if anything happens it’s their fault…

Guys, you wonder why I say sex is political? He just summed it up perfectly. The politicians who fund the research that could result in more realistic, more believable, and more widely adopted safe sex guidelines (that would include how to have “safe bareback sex”) just don’t give a shit about us. Why? Because they think the kind of sex we have is “taboo”/”kinky”/whatever… They’d rather not tell us anything and let us go blindly on in ignorance – harming our community in the process. It’s not a problem for them, ’cause they’re not part of our community.

Watch the video – there’s other good stuff in it as well…

And please be political…

If you think things in the US are pretty good for gay people and not at all like they are in Iran. Think again.

Today Lawrence King, a femmy 15 y.o. high school student, was shot and killed in his first period English class. The reason? Because he was a nelly queen who wore jewelry and make up. This was after being teased and taunted by classmates for a while. And this wasn’t in some hic town in the middle of nowhere – it was in Oxnard, CA – outside Los Angeles.

Femmy teens are in a really difficult position. Those of us who are “straight acting” can just play along and avoid problems, but fems don’t have that option. They are who they are and they shouldn’t be shot dead just because they are true to themselves.

This just drives home how hate crime legislation is important. Curiously, if you shot one of the people who doesn’t want gay men and lesbians to have “special protection” under hate crime legislation – you could be charged with a hate crime since they’re protected (for their religion) – they just don’t think we’re special enough to have the same protection they enjoy themselves.

Of course cases like this are typical in that most gay bashing is done by teens who haven’t yet become secure in their own sexuality. It may seem harsh to put a teen in prison for an extended period because they were motivated by their own insecurities, but that’s something for the juvenile justice system to deal with on a case-by-case basis. The point is we need to make a clear statement that violence against gay men, lesbians and the transgendered (and a few straight people who appear to be gay) will not be tolerated.

Also remember – intolerance of intolerance isn’t bad like other forms of intolerance. For all you math geeks – it’s a double negative and hence completely different. In fact you can’t aim for a tolerant society with out being intolerant of intolerance…

School administrators also needs to be held accountable for this. How in the hell did a gun get into the classroom and why didn’t they deal with the situation when it was just taunting and teasing? They aren’t just there to teach the kids reading, writing and arithmetic – they’re there to socialize them and teach them how to be civil human beings. A kid died in English class for god’s sake – I hope someone is held accountable in addition to the mixed up kid that pulled the trigger.

One of the lessons I learned in grad school from a wonderful radical lesbian feminist professor was that radical change rarely ever comes from the big things people remember – it comes from a whole bunch of little things and sorta sneaks up on you. You realize radical change has happened by looking back and thinking “gee, that couldn’t have happened 20 years ago” (e.g. electing a black man or a woman as President). So, be political in your every day lives – tell your friends about the discrimination and injustice we continue to face, and do the little things like always showing up to vote for the candidate with the best stance on gay rights. When enough people change the hearts of the people around them, and when we have political leaders who “get it”, the big stuff will follow.

UPDATE: Turns out, as of now, Lawrence King isn’t dead. He’s brain dead and they expect to pull the plug on him soon, so the net effect is the same. California does have hate crime legislation and they’re planning trying the kid who did it as an adult and charging him with murder with a hate crime special circumstance. In other words, this is going to be about as bad for the kid who did it as it gets…

More in the “keeping you entertained” category… Here’s a video of what happened when a straight guy was sent into a gay bathhouse and it turned out to be “blackout night”… I think it was one of those traumatic events he’ll be jacking off thinking about later…

I’m feeling like shit this week since I’m taking some nasty pills to get rid of parasites (don’t know if I got them from rimming or ’cause some restaurant worker didn’t wash his hands after going to the bathroom). As a result, don’t think I’ll be hooking up until the weekend.

So to keep you entertained, here’s Wanda Sykes’ thoughts on gay marriage…

Remember – BE POLITICAL! If we don’t ask for equality, no one’s going to give it to us…

Load 2008-12

My boyfriend has been really unsuccessful hooking up lately. So yesterday I suggested we hook up with the eager/submissive bottom I’d fucked over a year ago. He was pretty close to the type of guys my bf gets into and would do anything I asked him to do – including taking my bf’s load… So I shot him an e-mail, but didn’t hear anything from him. He had posted ads on Craigslist looking for a group of guys to gangbang him saying “no request will be denied”. The guy is seriously submissive.

So I sent him an e-mail to see if he’d be up for getting tagged, but I didn’t hear anything back until after 11pm – after my bf had left to “hang out” with a guy we knew in the neighborhood. I figured what the hell – and told him to come over, but it had to be quick ’cause I wanted to get to bed… I was tired and wasn’t sure my dick would cooperate, so I took a couple pills. But the problem was he left immediately and he got here in like 30 minutes when it takes at least 45 minutes for the pills to take effect, and before it takes effect the results are just the opposite – a small little dick…

He gets here and seems like he’s in a rush and is practically pulling off his clothes. We both get naked and he goes to give me a blow job, but I’m totally small and soft. I told him to get on the bed ’cause I wanted to rim him. For starters it would give me some time to get hard – I knew it would kick in eventually, and it would also not have him focusing on my being soft.

So he gets on the bed on his hands and knees presenting his ass to me. There was something about how he did it which was curious – he’s like a slave who’s trying to please and gives you exactly what you ask for. There was very little emotion in how he did it other than obedience – it was like he was carrying out a command the way a sci-fi virtual sex slave would…

Luckily, as soon as I started rimming him, I started getting hard and it wasn’t long before I had a decent hardon. I stood up, put some lube on my dick and pushed in. His hole feelt pretty good. He mentions that he wishes he could see my face while I fuck him, so I tell him to flip over. As soon as I’m back in I start regretting my decision ’cause his hole felt better when he was on all fours. But I keep going and notice his hole feels really wet.

Since he had had an ad up earlier looking for someone to gang bang him, I ask if he’d been fucked already tonight. He said ‘no’ – that he just hadn’t checked his e-mail and so he didn’t know I had e-mailed him. He said he wished I had called him so he could have come by earlier.

I wasn’t so sure he hadn’t gotten gangbanged – the more I fucked him the more his hole felt like it had a few loads up it… It was a great feeling – he was loose and silky wet… Needless to say that got me going and after a while felt even better than when he was on all fours. Not long after I gave him a nice sized load up his ass…

As soon as I was done and pulled out, he was up and getting his clothes on as quickly as he could. Pretty soon he was out the door… It must have been the quickest hookup I had ever hosted. I had traveled for quicker ones, but never hosted one that quick. I didn’t time it, but it was probably 10 to 15 minutes.

Thinking about it afterwards I thought he might have double parked outside my building, or parked in a bus stop or something like that… It’s hard to find parking late at night. There was one place he could have parked, but he said he “found a spot right outside” – that’s pretty much impossible, and when I went out to walk the dogs right after he left there were no empty spaces…

Either way, much better hookup than last time – not nearly as freaky. It’s curious to see how he’s changed. He was so neurotic about my being neg last time. This time he just bent over and took my load and was outta there – and I wonder if he didn’t have loads in him already… He’s come a long way…

Oh yeah, my bf came home later – he’d fucked the friend he went to hang out with. Hopefully they’ll turn into regular fuck buddies – my bf needs it…

The other night “friend of a friend” came over to hang out. He and my boyfriend were doing tequila shots plus drinking wine, so they were pretty drunk… Somehow the fact that I had been an escort many years ago came up. That was followed by someone labeling me a “whore” and the other person basically agreed. They didn’t mean it in the pay-for-sex literal kind of way as much as he meant to say I was a slut…

But I don’t really think of myself as a “whore” or a “slut”, though I do fuck guys in dark rooms and anonymous sex gets my dick hard fast… I don’t know – you guys read the blog… Am I a slut (or a whore)?

Then last night when I was fucking the Brazillian guy we got on the subject of body types. We were talking about sex parties and how there were some for “big guys”, and another one for “men” that his boyfriend went to had some guys who were overweight attending it. I mentioned that I consider myself “stocky” and want to get to the point where I’m just “beefy”, and that I didn’t know if I qualified for either “bear” or “cub” at this point. He didn’t understand the difference between stocky and beefy, so I said to me “beefy” was having a little bit of fat over your muscles but no real belly, whereas “stocky” was having a belly, and “chubby” was having a pronounced belly, and “fat” was just, well… fat…

But if that’s beefy/stocky/chubby/fat, where do “cubs” and “bears” fall into that picture? To me they’re partly differentiated by age, with younger guys being cubs and older guys being bears, but I also think of cubs as being somewhat leaner… I also don’t ever think of cubs as being tops, but maybe that’s just me… And to me the “ideal bear” is also hairy, and masculine. In my mind I can’t see labeling myself a cub, but I don’t think I’m heavy enough to be a bear either. I feel like I’m in between labels on this one and “stocky” is the only thing that fits. Guys who really like bears might call me a bear – but I’m definitely on the lean side of “bear”…

Speaking of cubs and bears – the related label that’s pretty well defined is “otter” – a lean hairy guy who’s probably into leather.

The other thing I asked the Brazilian guy was whether he’d describe me as a “dom top”. I’ve never really felt like I fit that description. I think of “dom tops” as being pretty forceful. I just manage to get my way. He thought I was pretty dominant though since I come across as pretty stern and serious. That much is about right since I don’t really want to talk or be all that affectionate until after I’ve given the bottom my load…

The other label that seems pretty well defined but very few people who qualify want to embrace is “bug chaser”. I’ve had a number of guys recently who admit to being HIV negative and taking poz loads in their ass, but follow that up by “but I’m not a bug chaser”… In many cases they’re even turned on by the idea of getting a poz load and they’re excited when they find out (usually after the fact) that a load they just got in their ass is poz, but since they don’t want to become poz they don’t think of themselves as “bug chasers”. In other words, they’ve defined the “bug chaser” label as someone who wants to become poz – they don’t want to become poz, they just want the thrill of getting poz cum in their ass, so they think they’re not a bug chaser. Umm… “distinction without a difference”? At the same time I know exactly what they mean.

And for god’s sake “VGL” has got to be the worst label of all… I mean beauty is in the eye of the beholder, some may say bears are “VGL”, where others would think the same bear is a disgusting old guy…

Labels are a funny thing… Can’t live without them, but they often raise more questions than they answer…