Load 2010-6

Well, I finally got back in the saddle tonight… I was hoping to fuck this 24 y.o. but when I had to push back the time he said he couldn’t make it ’cause he was starting to crash from partying last night. (Guys – I may sound like Barbara Bush, but keep those drugs under control…)

So then I went on the hunt for another hole to fuck. I sorta wanted a hole I hadn’t fucked before, but when I e-mailed all the ones who were prospects and none of them panned out I saw the Brazilian come back online so I e-mailed him. It’s been 6 months since we last fucked (153 days to be exact). I like fucking him, but don’t always cum with him, so I was just hoping my horniness and the fact that I took a pill would be sufficient (it was).

He came over and we undressed and he started sucking my cock. Blowjobs often don’t do anything for me and this one was no exception. There was nothing wrong with it and he was enjoying it, so it wasn’t like I wanted it to stop. It was sorta cool actually how he’d keep pushing my dick as far back as possible and getting it into his throat. But let’s just say there was no risk of me cumming from his blowjob – but again, that’s just me, not him.

I know from past experience that he doesn’t like to be rimmed, so after the blowjob we went straight to fucking. I couldn’t find the Gun Oil so I grabbed my Wet Original (BTW, Wet has promised to send me some of their old-style oil based lube as well as their new silicone based Wet Platinum, but the package hasn’t arrived yet). I put a little on but after fucking him for a few minutes his hole still felt pretty dry even though he had prelubed before coming over and I had lubed my dick. I put some more lube on and that helped a bit.

We’ve fucked so many times he sorta knows what positions I like and he was on his belly. But lately I’ve been doing this thing where I turn myself at a 45 or 60 degree angle to give more friction to my dick. I think the reason I don’t always cum with him is ’cause my usual position doesn’t feel quite as good with his hole. But after turning a bit sideways and then turning back and being lined up with him I finally felt my load boiling up.

After nearly a month of not fucking anyone it felt good to give him my load. We then laid there and spooned a bit and talked with my dick up his ass. Eventually my dick got soft and came out. I knew he had moved but had a few of the detailed mixed up. Bottom line was that he’s been single for a while now. He mentioned how he had hooked up with the hardcore piss bottom I’ve fucked a few times before. And his observation was the same as mine – arriving for a hookup reeking of stale, musky piss isn’t a good thing… He also casually mentioned that he’d gotten fucked by someone in the neighborhood I know, which surprised me ’cause I didn’t think that guy was someone he’d have fucked with in the past, but he said since he’s been single he’s getting fucked by a broader range of guys.

I was starting to get my second wind and his hole was feeling mighty nice and wet. That combined with what he told me about being less selective about who fucked him gave me a hardon, so I started fucking him again. This time his hole felt SO much better. It was wet and cummy. I almost thought I could come a second time which is extremely rare for me. But alas I had jacked off the day before and there just wasn’t a second load in me. I stopped and we talked a little more while we spooned and I kept pumping his ass with my hard cock.

He left a little while later (we both had things we had to do). All in all a really nice hookup.

This teen contacted me a few weeks ago…

hi, sir. i dont know if you got my message on xtube. im the 18 yo bottom from san diego who sees himself as a total cumhole but doesnt really know where to begin. your blog is so fucking hot to me and i would be honored to take your load. if you want some pics for your own viewing pleasure just email me. i’m very slim and very cute and i know what kind of boys you like. i think im a good match for you 🙂

I got back to him with a few pointers on how to get loads – things like looking for sex parties, going to a bathhouses (and laying face down), and how to be assertive about getting dick but not aggressive. He then got back to me and (among other things) told me a little more about himself…

a little about me. hmm. well i’m a senior in hs, 18 years old, into some sports, movies, just having fun i guess. but i also have this other side of me which seems to be an insatiable cum whore haha. which is why i respect you so much and love your blog. i feel the need to be used in every sense of the word and have my hole stuffed and filled with sperm. the sheer idea of having a man’s sperm inside me drives me crazy because, in a way, it makes him a part of me and it makes me his subordinate because i’m taking his load. it’s like an act of submission. i’m saying all this because i think you understand…

At this point I wasn’t sure if he was actually taking loads or not. It sorta sounded like he was just fantasizing about it. So I sent him a message and asked how he was thinking about getting started…

well i’m already on adam4adam but i’m getting dozens of messages every 20 minutes. it’s kind of difficult for me to figure out how to go about setting things up with tops because i can’t possibly take all of their loads…not enough hours in the day haha. the thing is, i don’t want to be picky. i just want to be a cumdump. and i feel like part of being a sub cumhole is to not tell guys “no” because one looks better than the other. am i right or is that just a misconception?

I STILL wasn’t sure if he was taking loads so I asked directly and suggested that he try hosting so he could schedule a bunch of tops and get one load after another.

yeah, i have been taking loads from this guy who lives one freeway exit away from me. it’s convenient so i havent branched out yet really. that’s why i wanted to talk on IM. i’ve got some questions that you might be able to answer. is there such thing as a sub bottom who loves taking loads but just prefers the neg ones? i’m not looking to be pozzed by any means so i feel like i’m sort of a walking paradox.

At this point I figured he needed me to be pretty direct, so I told him…

basically, cumdump bottom = poz bottom… you’ll be really conflicted until you accept that… you can try serosorting, but it will fail eventually. serosorting sounds like a nice idea, but it just doesn’t work long term unless you’re the relationship type who really gets to know his tops and even then i can say from personal experience that you don’t really know what risks your tops are taking…

He got back to me and told me that “made sense” and that was sorta the last thing we discussed on the poz issue other than the fact that he mentioned he’s never been tested for HIV and doesn’t plan to get tested for a while.

A few days had gone past and I had been busy and hadn’t gotten back to him. So then he tell me how “his top” took him to a bathhouse that had a lot of older guys and took him into the sauna and fucked him raw in front of the guys who were there. He pulled out and let two anonymous tops fuck him no questions asked one after the other. They both unloaded in his ass and then “his top” gave him a 3rd load. So he got 3 loads in 20 minutes and two of those loads were from complete strangers. Pretty hot, eh?

At this point I knew the guy was pretty serious so I asked him if he’d be interested in doing a blog to record his journey. He’s at this critical stage where he’s making major decisions and experimenting. Luckily he was up for it. I checked and TeenCumhole.com was available so I bought it for him and set it up a few days later. One of the things I was thinking as I bought the domain for him was that when you give someone a label, they usually live up to it. Call someone smart or stupid or “hot” or ugly and that’s how they see themselves and they tend to live up to the labels other people give them. In this case I was giving him a label – Teen Cumhole – and I fully expect he’ll adopt it and become a full-fledged cumhole.

In the past week he’s branching out, going to the bathhouse on his own, finding other tops to hookup with. I get the sense that this is the beginning of his sex life and he’s not doing it timidly – he’s learning to swim by jumping in the deep end. Not bad for a guy who only turned 18 a few months ago…

Needless to say, make sure you check out his blog – TeenCumhole.com. Give him encouragement and if you’re in the San Diego area and want to give him a load, contact him and make it happen. Or better yet, organize a gangbang for him…

Load 2010-5

This afternoon I was horny and the black guy I fucked last week was online. He said he’d come over but then it took him FOREVER to get here. I had just given up and started looking for someone else when he rang the buzzer.

Thanks to a pill and looking at other profiles, I was rock hard when he arrived and so when I stripped down I was literally ready to go and he started giving me a blowjob. Thing is I had managed to catch the head of my dick on my zipper and it was a little tender and he kept grazing the tender part with his teeth, so I sorta called that off and went to rimming his hole.

He loves it when I rim him and he’s got a nice ass. The funny part is I like rimming him, but it’s always a little musky to the point where I never really want to felch him after I’ve blown my load, but that comes later… So I rimmed him for a little bit and he was spreading his ass cheeks wanting me to get in deeper.

Then I was just ready to fuck. I lubed up my dick and put a little on his ass and he flipped over. He had been on his back, and I sorta wanted to fuck him that way, or on his side or something… But he wanted to be on all fours on the bed, so that’s how we fucked.

I usually have to worry about tiring out a bit when I fuck, but standing up to fuck isn’t nearly as exhausting as having the bottom on his belly, so I was able to fuck him for a while sorta pretty much just casually fucking his hole. But that wasn’t going to get me off, so eventually I climbed up on top of him to fuck him.

He’s got a big beefy muscle butt on him and that’s usually a problem, but somehow it isn’t an issue with him. So fucked him for a while on his belly and it felt good, but when I turned sorta 90 degrees it felt incredible and that got me to cum pretty quickly. It was actually one of the most intense orgasms I felt for a while. It was like a whole body orgasm… Very cool that way.

I then slowly fucked his cummy ass until my dick popped out of his hole. We talked for a bit and then he started jacking off and wanted me to suck his nipple. I was fine with that, but then when he wanted me to pinch his other nipple I said ‘no’. I don’t really like bottoms who tell me what to do and this was the 2nd time he’s done it. Then just as he was literally about to cum he guided my hand over to his nipple. Whatever… I pinched his nipple a bit and he came.

The whole “do this”, “do that” thing doesn’t really do it for me. That’s my job, not the bottom’s. He’s a good fuck, it’s just getting him off that’s a bit of a pain. So we’ll see – it’ll probably be longer than a week next time…

Load 2010-3

This morning I was sorta casually on the hookup sites and had a few guys who wanted to hookup. I needed to get some work done so I told them maybe this afternoon or this evening. I’m not sure what it is, but it seems like it’s getting easier and easier to find bottoms. If I fucked all the guys who were seriously interested I think I’d be fucking a few times a day – and I just don’t have time for that…

Anyway, this guy had been hitting me up for a few months and today was the day it sorta just worked out. If I remember correctly I had given my number to him a while back and he called at like 3 in the morning one morning at which point I sent him a pretty abrupt e-mail telling him to delete my number from him phone. Today just seemed like a simple hookup so I had him come over.

You never really know what you’ll get and he was pretty much what I expected – a little bigger (taller, bigger build) but it all worked out really well… We started stripping down and he had a nice build on him – pretty muscular and solid, so still pretty “regular” if you know what I mean.

He got down and started giving me a blowjob, and then we swapped and I blew him for a bit. He had this nice big thick (but not huge) dick. He was uncut and had something I’ve seen only a few times before… Around the head of his dick it was rough, almost spikey. Still, it was the perfect sized dick – big, but not too big to blow. He asked me if I got fucked and I sorta laughed inside and just said “not today”… 😉

I then got him on all fours on the bed and started rimming him. His hole wasn’t quite the type I completely dive into with gusto, but it was close. His ass was big and muscular and at one point he pulled his cheeks apart so I could get in nice and deep. He definitely liked getting rimmed.

I then lubed up my dick and started fucking him. I kept him on all fours on the bed and I stood behind him. I wasn’t really in a rush or anything. But every now and then he’d abruptly pull off my dick. It was a little irritating ’cause it messed up my flow. So I pushed him onto his belly and fucked him my usual way.

Typically I like a pretty small butt ’cause it lets me get in deeper. This guy definitely didn’t have a small butt. His butt was this big black muscle butt, but even though he had a big butt it sorta just worked with my dick. Actually it felt pretty amazing. It was like there was a bit of friction inside his hole that rubbed me perfectly.

It wasn’t long before I came up his ass. Then I kept fucking his cummy ass nice and slow. Felt great.

When I rolled over my dick fell out of his ass and we just laid there slowly jacking our dicks and feeling each other up and we talked a bit. He kept saying over and over that I looked better and younger than my pics, which is sorta funny ’cause my pics are a bit old.

His skin was really sensitive and I’d just lightly stroke him and he’d totally get off on it. At one point he rode my dick a bit. But then he came by jacking off while I was sucked his nipple. I tasted his cum and it was just a little bit salty…

He was off to the gym – hoping maybe he’d suck off a guy in the steamroom – one time he even got fucked and took an anonymous load. His ass would definitely be well lubed with cum and ready for a steamroom fucking – who knows?

I got this e-mail the other day…

Hey dude-

Im 21, 6’0” 190 lbs athleic in the military. I’m stationed in Texas. I know you are in NYC but ive read your blogs and wanted to see if you could help me. I’ve wanted to be bred, and by that i mean actually converted for a long time. since i was 18. Its kinda hard for me to find any poz guys to help me out in the military and im not so good on sites- so i wanted to see if you might be able to help me out. I know a lot of people dont understandwhy i want to do what i’m trying to do, but ive made up my mind.

Please let me know if you know anyone willing to initiate me into the brotherhood

Thanks man!

What is it about military guys wanting to get pozzed? He’s hardly the first one I’ve seen… I mean I even blogged about a Craigslist ad I saw almost 3 years ago now where a military bottom wanted to get pozzed, and I’ve seen profiles before with the same deal.

Personally I think it has a certain logic to it. If you watch the Newshour on PBS there’s this list of young guys just like them that are being killed in Iraq and Afghanistan every day. It’s sort of a chicken and egg thing – do people who don’t value their lives go into the military or does the military teach their recruits that their life is cheap? I probably just said that wrong ’cause I don’t mean to be judgmental – what I mean is that being in the military and being attracted to danger sorta go hand in hand.

The impulse that makes someone want to go into a battlefield where they can get shot is pretty much the same as a neg bottom who wants to get pozzed. I mean, the war in Iraq isn’t really necessary for national defense – people who want to fight there are simply turned on by danger (or hate Arabs, or whatever)…

That’s why I don’t think it’s fair to look at bug chasers like they’re two headed freaks. We don’t look at guys who are volunteering for the military that way and they’re pretty much doing the same thing as a bug chaser, IMHO.

So he wants me to post his pics and give out his e-mail in case any of you out there are willing to help him on his quest. The funny part is he didn’t want his real name used, but the pics he initially sent me were face pics. lol [That means I’ve seen his face pics and can say that he’s VERY hot!]

[pics removed]

For hookup stuff he goes by “[name removed]”, and his e-mail is [removed]. If you’re interested in making his wish comet true – contact him… 😉

[And for those of you have a problem with this – think about the fact that he’s been wanting it for 3 years… He’s on a quest and it will happen sooner or later…]

UPDATE: Got a message from him…

Hey man!!! Ive found someone and just started taking loads!
You can keep the post up but if u could remove my pics n email id appreciate it!
I’ll keep you posted with updates on my journey
Thanks!!

I asked, and the guy he found is high viral load poz… Looks like he’s getting what wanted.

I woke up earlier than I wanted to on Sunday, but then tried to stay in bed and rest. When I did finally get up my bottom and I went to breakfast. It was better than the day before – the eggs weren’t runny and the hot food was actually hot (and it was free for me since I had bought the weekend pass).

When we got back to the room I thought it was odd that tops would come to the door hoping to fuck the bottom and he’d answer the door and say he wasn’t up for being fucked. His rib was still hurting from the rough fuck at the gangbang the prior day, but I got the sense that it was more than that.

Then he mentioned that the hot vers top jock who was at the gangbang wanted to come and “hang out” with us. He then mentioned that he had stayed up late IMing him and had been IMing in the morning as well. I could tell he was infatuated with him. Honestly, I think it’s great if a cumdump finds a gangbang top and falls in love. It’s sorta the perfect combination. Far better than meeting someone socially who’s going to freak out when they find out you like being an anonymous bareback gangbang bottom.

I said yes to the guy coming over, but I was apprehensive. There were a number of scenarios where it could work out great, and a few that would be a problem. It would have worked if he had come over, thrown the bottom on the bed, fucked him, and then spent the afternoon hunting for more tops to fuck the bottom. Or since he’s vers, maybe he’d spend the afternoon taking loads with my bottom – that would have been cool too… But there was something in the bottom’s eyes that worried me – love.

The guy came over and I was busy writing up the first blog post about Friday night. They laid on the bed and talked and sometimes would involve me in the discussion, but then things got more intense between them. They were kissing and cuddling and making out… Frankly, it was just the wrong time and place for that. I got to the end of my blog post and wondered what in the fuck I was supposed to do. It wasn’t comfortable sitting in the chair and I really wanted to be doing some filming – that was one of my primary objectives for the weekend and I hadn’t done any of it yet.

There was an older bottom online who wanted to come over and was up for being videotaped. I pushed him off a bit thinking I’d give the two love birds time to finish what they started, but when the bottom showed up they were taking things so slow they had just gotten naked and were getting ready to fuck. The trick took off his clothes and the two of them on the bed suddenly realized that it wasn’t just about the two of them any more. “My bottom” (I’m using those words loosely) asked “Should we leave” and I just said “Yeah”. I was fuming by this point because things had gotten so awkward. They got their clothes on while I got the camera and lights ready and then they left.

I had an interesting hookup with the trick in which I fisted him. It was my first time fisting and I got totally boned doing it – but I’ll save that for a separate blog post.

When the trick was gone I texted “my bottom” and told him I wanted to talk face to face. He was eating and got there like 30 minutes later. We had what I thought was a really good, honest talk. A lot of issues came out and I thought everything was back on track by the end of it.

A little after we were done talking this young sub texted me. He’d been wanting to hookup for a while and it just hadn’t happened, and he was interested in having sex with both me and “my bottom” even though he swore he was neg and he knew “my bottom” was a cum dump.

“My bottom” started cleaning up a bit (said it was in preparation for the gangbang), and then the young sub bottom showed up. He liked being a puppy and started nuzzling his head on my belly and getting me to pet him. He was really sweet and while he wasn’t very verbal, he did a fair amount of non-verbal communication (“my bottom” could have learned a lot from the kid). The young sub started sucking my dick and I got “my bottom” to come over and the puppy seemed really excited to service him.

I got behind the puppy and he pulled down his pants and exposed his hole for me. Then he took off his pants and shoes completely as it got more serious. I fucked him a bit, but the position was a little awkward. I knew the perfect position would be doggy style (how appropriate) with the puppy on all fours, one of us behind and one of us on his knees in front. So I got up and figured I’d switch with “my bottom”. I got on my knees and got the puppy on all fours and “my bottom” started to fuck him. It seemed like just a minute or two later when “my bottom” announced he was really close and about to blow his load. I just asked “so you’re going to lube his hole for me?”, and then he blew his load up the puppy’s ass. [The sub bottom knew it was happening, knew he was about to take a load from a cumhole bottom and didn’t do anything to say or indicate ‘no’.]

Then “my bottom” went back to cleaning up the room as I fucked the puppy’s now cummy hole. At least that’s what I thought he was doing.

I was having a great time with the puppy – I loved how submissive he was. I had put a collar on him early on, and then he picked a hood and put that on (he LOVED hoods). I fucked him for quite a while but never did cum. The odd part was that he seemed a little hesitant to take my (neg) load, even though he had been fine taking “my bottom’s” poz load. When I had him on his back he’d stiffen his legs which made it difficult to really fuck him. It’s not like that’s puppy play – if you’ve ever seen a dog roll on his back and be submissive their legs are never straight.

We had a good session that was really tender and intimate. I loved how tactile he was to the point where I’d really love to do more puppy play (hint, hint to any of you in the NY area who identify as puppies).

I tried to get “my bottom” to get back into the play, but he resisted. I suggested having the puppy rim his hole (dogs like ass, right?), but he wasn’t even willing to do that.

As we were winding up “my bottom” left and said he was going downstairs for a drink or something. I was still concentrating on the puppy and didn’t really think twice about it. I asked him to do final approvals for the gangbang and send out the final e-mail with details, which he did before he left.

The puppy took off his hood which was his non-verbal signal that he was done. I took off his collar releasing him and he got ready and went. He had told me that the load he got from “my bottom” was his first one at MAL. I asked him how MAL was going for him and he said something like “it’s going great now” and then rubbed his head in my lap. I was seriously falling for the pup… He said he’d try to come to the gangbang. He’d mentioned hed’ be up for it previously as long as he was hooded since he didn’t want anyone to recognize him.

Then he left and I went and had dinner and a beer with Jayson Park. (Actually, he didn’t have dinner – just drank a beer while he watched me eat).

Then I went back up to the room to prep for the gangbang and “my bottom” wasn’t back and he hadn’t responded to a couple of text messages I had sent. Then about 30 minutes before the gangbang was supposed to start I noticed that his stuff was missing. While I had been fucking the puppy he had packed up and left. How he could sit there and do the final approvals and sent out the confirmation for the gangbang when he knew he was leaving is beyond me.

Later I found he had sent me an e-mail after he left…

On my way back to NYC via train. I just needed to leave…

Thanks for letting me join you this weekend.  Had a blast.

That e-mail sorta sums up his contradictions. He had a great time, but he had to leave without saying anything.

There’s so much I could say about him, but it would all be conjecture. I really don’t feel like I understand him much at all. I know deep down he’s a good guy, but he seems horribly conflicted. I’ve seen his personal Facebook page and in his profile pic he’s this completely normal, happy regular gay guy. But then he likes to get gangbanged, but then he also seems to have issues with getting gangbanged. He seems like he’s got a lot to work out, and I hope for his sake he gets to the bottom of it all.

With everything that had already happened that day I wasn’t really looking forward to the gangbang anyway. I knew Jayson was headed off drinking for the evening so after sending out a cancellation notice on BBRT, I called him up and we went out to the Eagle and then to the Reaction dance party later that night (but that’s another blog post).

And a couple postscripts to this post…

First, when it was done the day was actually a good day. I fisted someone for the first time, and found I really love playing with puppies, and Jayson and I had fun when we went out and a good fuck when we got back. So yeah, there was drama, but the sum total of the day was really good.

Second, the sub bottom texted me later and asked what “my bottom’s” HIV status was. Silly boy. I reiterated what I told him before – that the guy had taken 15 loads so far during the weekend and then later told him the load was “undetectable” but that if he was concerned he should be more careful and tell his limits to his tops. Personally, I think the sub bottom is doing a weird form of bug chasing where he puts himself in situations where he will take poz cum, but he does it in a way which is completely submissive so it’s done to him rather than him actively doing it – which sorta fits with his submissiveness. From my perspective I knew “my bottom” was on meds so there was almost a zero chance the sub bottom would get pozzed.