Grrrr… I just got stood up by a sub bottom and it’s not the first time he’s done shit like this… When I was first trying to hookup with him he’d cancel at the last minute, but he hasn’t done that in quite a while. He hasn’t been as eager as I’d like, but he hasn’t told me one thing and done another in quite a while.

The bottom is actually the bottom I fucked a couple of years ago with my PA. He was getting gangbanged and I think I sorta tore him up inside and he couldn’t really take dick after that. Then one of the tops told him he wasn’t really neg – that he was poz (making the fact that I tore him up a little more significant)… There was a lot of drama and the bottom didn’t really like the things I said when I wrote up the encounter. For a while he didn’t want anything to do with me, but then he finally came back for more – deep down he needed it.

Anyway, that fuck was one I videotaped – here it is…

And here’s an earlier video I did of him…

So here’s how it went down this time… He hits me up on BBRT and wishes me Happy Pride. I ask him if he’s looking and can host, he says ‘probably’ and asks if I’ve pissed yet (he likes to get pissed on). I tell him I can come over pretty much right away (he’s within easy walking distance). And he says “thats up to u SIR. [Whether I drink a bunch so I can piss on him.] or u can just come over and dump a quick load in me SIR. u tested recently?” I avoid the question about my status (just to sorta play a head game with him), and say “give me your address and i’ll come over now”. There’s a bit of a delay and he finally says “sorry SIR – could u answer my question SIR? have u been tested recently SIR?” Since he pushes the issue I answer – “last test was january. it was neg.” He comes back with “understood SIR. thank u for answering SIR. XXX west XXXrd street SIR. #XX. hole will be lubed for you SIR. no pa, right?” I tell him I’ll take the PA out to fuck him. He thanks me and says he wishes he got my 6 day load. I tell him he’ll be getting a 3 day load and it’ll be plenty big and thick. I get dressed and head over.

When I get to his place I press the buzzer. No response. I press again. No response. Then I call him and it goes to voicemail. I leave a rather terse message. Then I ring the buzzer a few more times. Then I text him. Finally I login to BBRT and see he’s left me a message… “actually SIR – just found a load a little closer and ready now. so gonna cancel on u – im sorry!” The little shit… I know it’s a lie – that he’s in his apartment listening to me ringing his bell and calling him. But there’s no point waiting, so I leave.

He finally responds to my text and among other things says “i have no good excuse but i really do apologize SIR.” He’s obviously a Catholic and doesn’t realize he’s dealing with a Protestant. Protestants only care about actions – apologies that aren’t accompanied with action are meaningless and sorta insulting. I give him an earful and tell him I’m just 4 blocks away – I can come back. I mean it’s one thing to get cold feet and that was his chance to redeem himself. He apologizes some more but doesn’t take me up on my offer to redeem himself. I tell him he should be a better sub than that and that next time he’s getting fucked with the PA as punishment. I know he doesn’t like it, but he can endure it… Seems like a good way to get back at him. He then gets back to me with more of an explanation…

i don’t have a good explanation SIR, like i said. i am actually in formal training with a master now to be a better slave SIR, and for the first time i just dug in my heels and disobeyed a direct order from him SIR. he has already told me i will be punished quite severely SIR. i am truly sorry to have let both of u down. i don’t know why i did it SIR. i am sure that he will correct the matter and you will have full access to my hole any time you need it in the future SIR. in spite of my behavior today, he is an excellent master SIR and has been training me well.

I’d love to be there when he gets punished. I don’t think he’s all that much into pain, but it would be sorta fun to take a whip to him and then fuck him in with the PA and dump a big load in his abused hole.

At the root of the problem is the fact that he’s a submissive cumdump who wants to stay neg. I think his misgivings about tops is what makes him disobey. Honestly, I think his life would make a lot more sense if he were poz. Being poz just sorta fits with where his head is at sexually. But it’s the conflict between the two that’s at the root of all of this. He wants to submit, but he’s concerned about the implications.

We’ll see what happens next…

Load 2010-16

A day after my last fuck I still hadn’t cum and now had a 6 day load churning in my balls needing release. I wanted a sure fire fuck – one where I knew I’d blow my load. When I saw my black fuck bud online and found out he was available, I knew I’d finally get to cum – after all, I’ve come absolutely every time I’ve fucked him.

The fuck was actually sorta uneventful – ’cause it was just like the last few. The only really interesting part was that his boyfriend came home just as he was about to leave and asked where he was going. lol – he said he was going to the gym. That delayed him a bit and I wanted him to come over while my bf was out. My bf doesn’t mind, but I just think it’s a bit more polite to not have him come home and find me fucking someone.

So, just like the last time I fucked him, we had him cum first, and then I fucked him. He’s got this big cushy black butt – not fat, sorta muscles with padding over them. It’s a sweet ass.. And it just feels good being inside his hole… Needless to say, since I hadn’t cum in 6 days and his hole feels really good, it didn’t take long to give him my big thick creamy load.

Thank god for dependable cumholes…

It’s always been a goal of mine to only cum when I’m fucking someone and not cum in between. It keeps me needing to fuck and focused on what I should be doing. Thing is, that’s easier said than done when you work on porn most of the day. You get hard, you jack off, and even if you don’t mean to cum, it happens. I’m not 18 years old – if I cum, it’s not like I can cum again in 5 minutes.

For some reason I’ve felt like wearing my prince albert lately. So I put it in a little over a week ago, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that having my PA in accomplished the goal… Jacking off with a PA just doesn’t feel as good and even if I do it, I don’t even get close to cumming. So if I wear my PA I don’t cum between fucks. Perfect!

[And those of you who were asking about my foreskin – well, you can see it in the pic. I haven’t pulled it down as much as I could, but as you can see, the doctor who circumcised me was a little sloppy and it sometimes covers part of the head of my cock. I’ve actually had guys think I’m uncut.]

Earlier this week I had a 5 day load built up and wanted to unload. There was this guy on Adam4Adam – my age, a little shorter, and fairly thin. He looked nice in his pics so I told him to come over. Just before he came over I clicked on his face pic and noticed his face had “a bit more character” to it than I could see in the smaller pic. Whatever… I like faces, but a pretty face isn’t mandatory…

He shows up, we go to the bedroom, and we strip down. It was one of those really hot days and he got here early. I had only turned the A/C on in the bedroom maybe 20 minutes before and it didn’t feel all that cool yet, so I took off everything as well (usually I’ll leave a shirt on, but I didn’t want to over heat).

His body wasn’t exactly what I was expecting or hoping for. He was really skinny, but sorta had a little belly too. His profile had said “neg, safe sex only” though he hadn’t asked any of the follow-up questions you get from guys who are worried neg bottoms. When he was on his way over I was envisioning a hookup with a guy who was a bit more “innocent” (it’s hard to find the right word). But as he sucked my dick and I started fucking him that image just didn’t really fit and it threw me off a bit. For one, his hole had seen a lot of use – that’s not a bad thing at all – it just didn’t fit the image of what I thought I’d be fucking that day.

Then I realized what his “type” was… He reminded me of the skinny guys you encounter in dark rooms. Attractive enough, decent bodies but not great bodies – they’re literally just holes who will take dick from anyone. I’m not saying that’s his scene – it’s just the image that came to me as I was fucking him.

I was reasonably hard as he was sucking my dick and then as I was fucking him, but something about it just wasn’t working. The heat in the bedroom wasn’t helping. If I had jut been laying on the bed it would have been fine, but as I exerted myself it got pretty hot. Usually it’s pretty easy to find a position that works with skinny guys, but with him nothing seemed to work.

Finally I just pulled out ’cause I wasn’t hard enough. He tried to get me hard – sucked my dick, etc. and after a while I did get hard enough to fuck again. This time the thoughts in my mind were completely different – I saw myself using some slutty hole who spends his nights in dark backrooms taking cock after cock. But even with that fantasy going through my head I could just tell I wasn’t going to cum. Which is sorta surprising ’cause I hadn’t cum in 5 days. So I just gave up.

We laid there, he jacked his dick. I sucked it for a while. It’s sorta funny his dick pic made him look like he had a little dick, but he actually had a very nice one (it was the one thing about him that was better than his pics). But my blowjob wasn’t getting him to cum (I’m hardly an expert cocksucker), so I pulled off, and he jacked his dick. Just as he was cumming I tried to go back down on him but he made it difficult, but I persisted and got his load. I find it really weird that he wouldn’t want me to swallow his load. I know some poz guys are like that with neg guys even though it’s pretty safe. Maybe he wasn’t so ‘neg’ after all and maybe my fantasy of him spending time in some dark room taking cock wasn’t so far from the truth… Who knows?

Load 2010-15

I’ve got another bottom coming over in a couple hours, so I figure I need to write up the last one so I don’t get behind on my writing…

The squirmy, neg, “safe sex only” Asian bottom I bred a couple weeks ago kept texting me telling me he wanted another load. While he’s sorta a difficult bottom, there’s something about him that made me want to get my load in him again – sort of an innocence / naïveté, so last Thursday he came over to get fucked again. He’s gotta come quite a ways to get here (from way out in Queens) – I’m sorta surprised he’s so into coming.

The hookup went sorta like last time, only quicker… We got naked, he sucked my dick, I ate his ass, and then we went to fuck. Same as last time he started squirming around, and like last time it was sorta distracting, but I just concentrated on the task at hand. I hadn’t cum since I fucked the muscle daddy 3 days before, so I knew I’d have a nice big thick load for him and I just visualized cumming deep in his ass.

Like last time I found the position that felt good was with him sorta on an angle with one leg up a bit and one straight. I got him in that position and I could feel my load building up in my balls. Then he started squirming and so I just pushed through it and wouldn’t let him squirm much and then he calmed down and a few seconds later I came in his ass.

I think he was surprised I came so quickly. Last time I fucked and fucked and couldn’t cum and then only came after taking a short break. This time I probably only fucked him for 5 minutes. I think he was sorta disappointed, but I had accomplished my goal of giving him another load.

Like last time we talked a little and then he wanted to jack off. I had really sorta hated it last time and just wasn’t in the mood for a repeat, but a repeat was what he wanted. Last time he had me finger him so deep that my hand actually ached afterwards from the weird angle I had to maintain. This time I just didn’t go in as deep even though he wanted me to. And I didn’t put as much effort into sucking his nipple either. But I still wanted it to be a generally good experience for him so he’d want more, so I went through the motions without really pushing it. I think he sensed I wasn’t doing 100% and he just concentrated on cumming and came a lot quicker than last time.

I still find it funny that someone who lists themselves as “neg, safe sex only” is so hungry for cum. We all know barebacking is addictive – I can just tell he’ll be taking more and more loads over the next year. He’s a cumhole in the making and still pretty early in the process, which is why I think I wanted to give him my load. They may be difficult at that stage, but there’s the reward of seeing them crave something they’re a bit conflicted about.

Load 2010-14

It’s always weird to do a write up knowing the guy I fucked is going to read it, but here we go… It’s also weird to feel like a tourist attraction. “Yeah, I went to see the statue of Liberty, went to the stop of the Empire State Building, got fucked by rawTOP, and saw Central Park”, but that was sorta the case with this hookup as well. Usually things don’t work out with tourists. They’re just not in town long enough, and to put it bluntly, I have a life and my schedule just doesn’t work with theirs. But yesterday things did work out.

Between medical tests yesterday, I spent the afternoon downtown with Jayson Park – curiously not having sex. We were talking business instead. But talking business while sitting in a public place (Whole Foods TriBeCa) does take a little delicacy when the business is porn (most of the sites I wanted to go to were blocked by Whole Foods proxy server). Luckily Jayson had managed to snag the corner table so we had some privacy. I was sorta hoping I’d have time to fuck someone while I was downtown after meeting up with Jayson. There was this neg, “safe sex only”, vers top I really wanted to fuck, but he wigged out on me when I got serious and gave him my number.

As I was killing the last hour before my 2nd test I logged onto Adam4Adam and BBRT. My iPhone battery was dying, so I didn’t have  much time. Luckily there was this hot tourist muscle daddy who got to the point and gave me the address for his hotel and room number pretty quickly. Mobile interfaces leave a lot to be desired and I could tell he was hot, but couldn’t tell much more about him. I could also tell from how he worded things that he connected me with this blog.

I switch to texting ’cause it takes less battery, and I’m running a little late. He asks me if I like a cummy hole and I say yes. When I show up he’s as hot as I thought he’d be – this big muscular, solid guy with a sexy foreign accent. He had just gotten out of the shower and had a towel around his waist. He was a little shy, which surprised me a little. It was a bit warm, so I stripped down to just my socks (in hindsight that’s sorta a tribute to Jayson since he’s got a white sock fetish, but I didn’t think of that at the time)… He asks me if I like using a hole with another top and I answer ‘no’ mostly ’cause I needed to get home and really only had time for a pump-and-dump.

We start playing, but he’s a little bit tentative. I start playing with his nipples, stuff like that… All the while jacking my dick. I had taken a pill that morning, but didn’t bring a cock ring, so I was hoping I wouldn’t have problems – especially since I’m hit or miss with big, beefy guys, but my dick was getting pretty hard, pretty quick. It helped that it had been 2 or 3 days since I had cum and I hadn’t had sex for over a week since there were a few days there where I was pretty fatigued for some reason.

Finally he sucks my dick. In hindsight I’d been running around in fairly hot weather. I hope I wasn’t too rank down there. Guess I should have asked. He didn’t suck me for very long. When he was done I got him on all fours on the bed and started eating out his ass. He was nice and clean and his hole actually felt good on my tongue. He seemed a bit loose, but not too loose. I remembered what he said about a cummy hole so sucked on him a bit, but wasn’t tasting any cum. I asked if he had loads in him and he said he’d taken 2, but then had to clean out, so didn’t have any in him right then. Too bad.

I stood up, grabbed his lube, lubed up, and started fucking him. His hole really did feel good. I was sorta standing behind him with him on the edge of the bed. I can actually fuck for a long time that way ’cause it doesn’t take nearly as much exertion as when I’ve got the bottom on his belly and I’m lifting my whole body up and down. But I didn’t have a lot of time so I pushed him forward onto his belly since that’s usually the way that makes me cum fastest.

I was a little worried ’cause he was such a big guy and I usually don’t do well with big guys, but things worked really well with him. Looking back I wonder if part of it isn’t the lube. He had Wet Platinum, which is silicone based. I sorta think that might’ve really helped. One way or the other his hole felt perfect, the pressure on my dick was perfect and it wasn’t long before I was blowing a nice big load up his muscle butt.

In hindsight I should have gone down and felched his cummy ass, but I didn’t. I cuddled with him for a few minutes. He was surprised I was “so cuddly”. Actually, I didn’t cuddle with him as long as I usually do.

Then there was a knock on the door. Turns out he had tried to get another guy to come over to give him a quick load so he’d have a cummy ass for me. (Such a good bottom!) That’s what he was asking about when he asked if I liked working over a bottom with another top. Given that things were sorta done, it would have been fine if the guy had come in. I would have gotten into seeing him get fucked by the next top as I was getting dressed to leave. But he seemed to want a little more 1-on-1 time with me, so he told the guy to wait. I figured the guy was going to come back in 15 or 20 minutes, ’cause he was completely unrushed and we continued talking for a little bit longer. I felt like I was the one rushing out of there to get home. Turns out the other top was waiting patiently in the hallway for me to leave. He was a bit younger and pretty cute/hot…

This morning I started thinking… The guy was from South Africa (hence the sexy accent), and I realized we don’t really think about the fact that African guys can get reinfected with HIV when they have sex with American guys. In Africa the dominant type of HIV is HIV-2. In Europe and North America the dominant type of HIV is HIV-1. While it’s almost unheard of to get two strains of HIV-1 or two strains of HIV-2, you can get both HIV-1 and HIV-2. I don’t know what the guy’s status was. His profile just said “Ask Me”. Given that he was about to get load 4, and probably got more loads later that night, and presumably had gotten equal numbers on other days, I’m assuming he’s poz. If he’s not on meds, then I’d think getting HIV-1 would be a bit of an issue for him. If he was on meds (more likely) then the question is will the meds for HIV-2 protect him by acting as a form of PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) for HIV-1? What if the US top had a really high viral load – would his meds still be able to protect him? These aren’t things we really think about much ’cause we rarely ever fuck with guys from Africa, but I can see where they’d be issues for African guys who go on sex holidays like he was doing (he started his trip by going to IML).

Load 2010-13

This guy’s been hitting me up for a few weeks now on Adam4Adam wanting me to fuck him. He’s a cute 30ish Asian guy who looks a bit boy-next-door geeky in his pics. I wasn’t sure if he was real ’cause he was pretty far away and his profile said “neg, safe sex only”. I get a lot of “neg, safe sex only” guys hitting me up on Adam about half just like my cock and think they’re so special I’ll wear a condom just for them or I’ll just do oral with them. The other half are actually willing to get barebacked and take loads, despite what their profile says. This guy was in the latter group, though I have a feeling he really is neg ’cause I forget exactly what he said, but he did sorta discuss status. I always ask safe sex guys if they’re OK with bareback and I think his response was something like “you’re neg, so it’s OK.”

That response is actually sorta laughable. I’ve jokingly heard that Adam is the cure for HIV – guys who are poz miraculously become neg when they’re on Adam4Adam… So his just reiterating my status back to me and not asking any real questions is not a very effective way of staying neg – at least not if that’s what he does on a regular basis…

Anyway, he was pretty persistent and I realized that he was serious about riding over an hour each way on the subway to get to me. Today things worked out and he came over. The elevator was temporarily out in the building so he had to walk up 5 flights of stairs to get to me. He was pretty winded by the time he got up. We went to the bedroom, he stripped down to his underwear and just fell on the bed face down. It was sorta hot having him like that. He looked sorta vulnerable. I pulled off his underwear and dove into his ass. He was apologizing ’cause he was sweaty, but really there was no musk down there… It was pretty nice actually.

He had a small build – like I tend to like. He was packing a few extra pounds, but not much. It was very boy-next-doorish. While I thought he’d be sorta geeky based on his pics, he was more ‘green’. Later he told me he’d only really started bottoming in the past couple of years – before that he was a top. I’m guessing he was just adapting to the New York sexual marketplace – since here he’s better equipped to be a bottom, if you know what I mean…

His hole was nice. The cool part is he had cleaned out well so I could really eat him out. When I’d get deep he’d like it and he’d pull his cheeks apart so I could get deeper. He also sorta liked it when I’d suck a bit on his hole – which is something I like to do when the hole is really clean (or really cummy).

After rimming him a bit he had caught his breath and we switched to him giving me a blowjob. And we kissed a bit, stuff like that… Then he got on all fours and aimed his ass at me. I misinterpreted and started getting ready to fuck him, but he wanted me to rim him some more. But after rimming him a bit I was ready to fuck.

I pushed on his hole and there was  a little resistance and then I slipped in in one quick motion. I went in so easily I was surprised when he started complaining saying it was painful. I held onto his hips and tried to get him used to it, but he kept complaining, so I pulled out. But then we went back at it and the second time he didn’t have much of any pain at all.

At this point I more or less had him on his belly but the thing was he started squirming all around. Here I was trying to get in a groove and every time I was starting to get into one he’d move. It was sorta irritating, and I was wondering whether this was how he was planning to disrupt things so I didn’t actually cum in his ass – he was a “safe sex” bottom after all. That sorta made me more determined to  not stop until I came in his ass. It seemed like he needed to learn that if you get fucked bareback, you’ll get loads in your ass, whether you want them there or not.

But all his squirming did throw me off my game. The room was starting to get hot and my dick was starting to lose it. So we took a break. He cleaned off my dick, and then gave me a bit of a blowjob, but it wasn’t really doing the trick, so we just laid down for a few minutes. It seemed like we’d sorta stopped, but I was still really determined to do everything I could to give him a load.

When we started back I ate out his ass, got really hard and started fucking him again. This time he just laid there and let me pound him. In all his wiggling around I had discovered one particular position with him that felt better than the others so I got him in that position and just fuck him and fucked him until I could feel my load cumming… I gave him a nice sized load deep in his ass.

It wasn’t long after that my dick popped out of his ass, but he wanted more. Sometimes I get a second wind so we laid there for a bit. He started jacking off and liked it when I’d finger his ass. But he wanted me to finger him deep. Oddly that’s actually a little strenuous. I never realized my finger could get tired from fingering a guy’s ass, but it did. But I put up with it to get him off. He came, I licked a bit of it up and then we talked a bit more and then it was over and he was on his way.