This past week has been a tumultuous one for the porn industry. A week ago today a porn blogger named Zach Sire (see photo to the right and below) did a post where he “outed” a fellow gay blogger – the blogger behind Queer Me Now (who I’ll refer to as QMN for the rest of the article). The whole thing was really petty – QMN had won “best porn blog” two years in a row at the Grabbies and Zach apparently felt he should have won, so he set out to destroy the life of QMN. I don’t use that phrase lightly. QMN is from “a certain Asian country” where porn is illegal and QMN could literally go to jail if the authorities know who he is (a fact Zach knew and mentioned in his attack on QMN). AND it wasn’t just jail – thanks to Zach everyone now knows that QMN has a rather respectable mainstream career as well – one that could get obliterated if people found out he was a gay porn blogger.

But let me stop and give you a little background. QMN and Zach have two very different approaches to porn blogging. QMN is an adoring fan who writes about what he loves. Zach does some porn blogging, but he also has a section that’s basically a gossip column – he just seems to love exposing people’s dirt.  Any time a porn star goes to jail, he covers it. Anytime anyone says nasty about someone else in the porn biz, he covers it. Basically he uses that part of his site to kick people when they’re down and revel in other people’s misery. Which is why I think he’s earned the label ‘bitchy queen’ and ‘mean girl’ many times over.

I’ve sat and chatted with QMN at two industry events and he’s one of the sweetest guys you’ll ever meet. Most everyone in the industry knows him and loves him. So when Zach attacked him there was a huge backlash. A guy named Danny brought it to everyone’s attention. Over the years Danny has run a whole bunch of different porn sites for producers (everything from Asian stuff to HDK to Titan). He’s also a really sweet guy who lived in Asia for years and knows what Zach’s post could mean for QMN. Then Dominic Ford picked up the baton. He’s a porn star / producer who started a business a few years back to fight illegal content on tube sites. So he’s used to dealing with “bad players” in the industry and has contacts with just about every medium to large studio in the biz.

Anyway, I won’t bore you with all the little details, but one important detail is that this isn’t the first time Zach’s exposed people’s identity. There’s this really wonderful woman who used to work for Treasure Island (she now works for Titan). Zach did  a whole piece on her a year ago saying what her real name was, what sort of work she did before working in porn, what sort of other things she’s posted on the Internet, and he imposed her face onto images of bareback fucking and cummy asses and generally implied that she helps in the transmission of STDs. As a result of Zach’s post on her she’s had to consider a legal name change if she wants to get out of porn. But if she does that she loses everything on her resume before she started working for TIM. She’s active on the webmaster board where all of this was being discussed, but she’s just one of many people Zach has fucked over. I mean you should see the things he says about Michael Lucas. In one recent tweet he said “@MichaelLucasNYC Better get back to your coffin, you vile piece of toxic shit. Sun’s coming up in just a couple hours in NYC…” Clearly Zach is NOT a nice guy. I mean I can’t imagine saying something like that about anyone – no matter how much I hate them. Yet Zach does it on a regular basis.

As the shit hit the fan last week people also found out that Zach has a business partner named Davyd Dixon who is a PR guy for many of the big studios. He conveniently claimed that he didn’t have any editorial control over Zach’s blog, but somehow his PR clients never seem to have the problems other studios have with getting slammed on Zach’s blog. (Hmmm…) And it’s not like Zach is even all that consistent. He slams Treasure Island and Lucas for barebacking – talking about how they’re spreading disease, but then he promotes sites like Sketchy Sex and complains that the Grabbies’ condom-only policy means they’re running out of sites to give awards to. His attacks are so random that it really does seem like negative PR rather than a genuine problem with the site or person he’s attacking. I honestly just don’t get where he’s coming from by promoting one site and slamming another that does more or less the same thing.

But seriously even if there is some difference I don’t understand, has Zach never heard of TasP? All the “toxic” stuff that TIM does, that Zach finds so objectionable, is fantasy. Poz guys on meds are some of the least risky people you can have sex with. In 19 years of guys being on ARVs, and probably millions of serodiscordant fucks, there have been no documented cases of an undetectable poz guy transmitting the virus. As a sex industry blogger Zach should know that. So what’s all the fuss? Let people have their fantasies. I mean the porn business is a business based on fantasy. Zach is hardly the god-appointed arbiter of what guys are allowed to jack off to.

Moving on… About 24 hours after the blog post on QMN went up “a hacker” brought down the site, took down the post on QMN, and redirected Zach’s blog to QMN. I don’t think QMN is technically capable of doing such a thing (IMHO, his site is a rather big mess technically). Instead, some people in the industry postulated that Zach just made it appear like he was hacked so he could then claim to be the victim. Which he promptly did in another blog post where he tried to justify his actions and say how horrible everyone was who opposed him. I was even quoted for having suggested on a private webmaster forum that he be permanently banned from getting awards at the Grabbies.

Then he did a video on YouTube where he goes into whether people like me and QMN deserve privacy. He tries to say that bloggers should be transparent and have their identities public (see timecode 1:27). But that’s not how the industry works. It’s a well-established rule in the industry is that no one reveals anyone else’s legal name. Yet despite that, there is still accountability. All my sponsors know my legal name, as do people I meet face-to-face at industry events (at least they know my first name – not always my last name – depends on how well I know them). If I do something it can get back to me – but it goes through a filter of people in the industry who understand my situation because they’re in the same situation themselves.

He then goes on to say that there is no expectation of privacy when you show up to public events (2:30). The thing is at those public events QMN’s legal name was never used. And I would bet the fact that he was from “a certain Asian country” and his mainstream profession were never mentioned either (at least not publicly). To say that, just because he showed his face publicly, EVERYTHING about him is now open for dissemination goes against the well-established rules our industry has lived by for decades. We have those rules because of the stigma mainstream society places on anything related to sex work. We don’t have an issue with what we do, but lots of other people do. Why Zach doesn’t get that, I don’t know.

He gets very specific about this point (3:00) “If you’re writing in a professional sense and you’re a blogger and a conveyor of information you are 100% open to being exposed in terms of what your name is and who you are”. That statement goes against everything our industry has lived by for 40+ years. It’s wrong. It’s dangerous. It hurts real people.

But then he goes on to say (4:00) that pornstars, on the other hand, “have an expectation of privacy  … They don’t want their real names to get out because there are a lot of people who are stalkers. Porn stars are sex objects. They will literally stalk them and they will find out extremely personal information about them, their families, where they live… Scary stuff…  And that’s why porn stars use porn names.” All I can say to that is “Dude, don’t you get it? YOU are QMN’s stalker. All those ‘scary things’ your talking about – you’re the one doing them!”

Then he goes on again to reiterate the point even more (4:36) “Porn bloggers are not porn stars, they’re bloggers. Just because they have the luxury of being behind a computer and never having to really show their face or their name… They’re not entitled to the same protections as pornstars who are putting their face and everything out on camera and who are objectified.” All I can say to that is I’m a blogger AND I’ve been in porn. Sure, I was only in one commercial porn video, but some consider it to be “the most important gay porn video ever made”. So some of us are both pornstars and bloggers. (Though I’m not sure I’d consider myself to be a porn STAR, but presumably he doesn’t mean that smaller porn stars don’t deserve the same protections as bigger porn stars.) And hell, privacy is clearly important to me – I even wore a mask when I was in porn. How much more clearly do I need to make the point about privacy?

But my having been in porn is irrelevant to whether I’m deserving of privacy. Sexually-based stalkers are not the only legitimate reason why someone would have a right to privacy. That’s basically saying that bloggers are too ugly to deserve privacy. All I can say to that is speak for yourself – just because you don’t think you’re sexually attractive enough to deserve privacy doesn’t mean I don’t deserve it, or QMN, or any of the other bloggers out there. Hell, if the United Nations thinks encryption is a human right, then we all have a fundamental right to privacy.

He tries to justify his actions by saying (5:25) “If you are publishing information online you are open to being exposed 100%. Sorry, that’s just the way it is. This is 2015.” But what he fails to ask is “is that a good thing?” And, “do I really want to be one of the mean girls who expose people?” Or maybe has asked those questions and he’s got so little going on in his life and so few prospects for the future that he doesn’t care about being exposed, and he knows he just is a mean girl, so he sees no problem with it.

His other point (5:55) seems to be that he’s free to violate the industry’s code of ethics because he thinks other people are doing things he thinks are unethical. That is completely the opposite of how people should act. It reminds me of the saying that “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves everyone blind and toothless”. The only way we’ll have a better world is if each of us does our part to make the world better.

So what can you do to make a difference? It’s pretty simple – never click the links on “mean girl” blogs. That’s how Zach and Davyd (and bloggers in general) make their money. You can also make note of who his major sponsors are and simply not buy memberships at those sites. OR at least buy them only via clicking a link on a “good” site. (And by that I don’t mean one of the major tube sites – they’re the topic for a whole other blog post – but suffice it to say they’re a bigger problem than even Zach & Davyd).

And if you’re a porn star who has influence over some of Zach & Davyd’s major sponsors – say something! This is a privacy issue. And while it might not be your privacy that’s threatened today. That may not be the case tomorrow. And when your privacy is threatened in the future you’ll need people like porn bloggers coming to your rescue.

Unfortunately a week after all this inane drama started, not much has changed. Davyd took down two tweets that mentioned QMN’s real name. The hacker took down the post about QMN, and they’ve edited the article on the woman who worked at Treasure Island so it no longer contains her legal name. But it will continue to rank for her name since it once ranked for it in the past. And Zach continues to say he did nothing wrong. He’s even threatened to take a camera to industry-only events to continue to out QMN (and presumably people like me).

Unfortunately the eco-system in porn is so fragile that we can’t deal effectively with the bad players in our industry. The sponsors could end this quickly by dropping him, and a few have, but they’re probably ones that didn’t do much business with Zach/Davyd in the first place. His bigger sponsors won’t drop him because they have a responsibility to their producers to make money and dropping him means less money. And there are so few other big affiliates out there that it’s hard for other affiliates to force the sponsors to do much of anything. We might be able to get a sponsor or two to drop Zach, but I’m not sure that would change much of anything. And it sets a dangerous precedent that might makes right. Sponsors should just do the right thing because it’s right.

So the bottom line is where you click links matters. Clicking a link to a porn site means that site will get a cut of the revenue. You’re helping fund the site when you click the link. So don’t click if you don’t like the site. Don’t give the mean girls money to support their bad habits.

P.S.

Kudos to Banana Guide and The Sword (where Zach used to work) for doing blog posts that stood up to Zach & Davyd. I think a lot of folks in porn are scared to speak their mind because they don’t want what happened to QMN & the woman from TIM, happening to them.

P.P.S.

In the event Zach thinks he needs to out me so everyone “understands my motivations”… Let me just save him the effort and state them clearly…

I run this site and number of others (the two biggest of which are Breeding Zone and Raunchy Fuckers). I support myself entirely on income from the sites, so yes, making money is most definitely a goal of mine. Though, in all honesty, I probably make more money (on paper at least) through some smart real estate investments my husband and I have made over the years (starting before I got into porn), so these sites help, but they’re not solely responsible for everything I have.

And yes, there’s some “controversial” stuff on my sites – stuff like bug chasing. But it’s all consistent with my somewhat libertine belief that people should be able to do with their bodies as they please. I provide places like Breeding Zone where people can safely express their sexual fantasies. Talking about sex is a good thing. For example being able to safely admit to being a bug chaser provides the opportunity for others in the community to say “That’s fine, but are you sure? Maybe you should consider PrEP…” Where I draw the line is things that hurt others – especially non-consensual and/or permanent harm. So, I’m fine with someone being a gift giver, but not when the neg guy has stated he wants to stay neg and takes steps to try to stay that way. Or a guy can fantasize about stealthing all he wants, but my moderators and I try to keep real-life stealthing off Breeding Zone.

And yes, I have other things going on in my life to the point that I value my privacy. I wish the world didn’t stigmatize porn, other forms of sex work, being HIV+, etc. – and I literally work to break down those stigmas all the time, but there’s still plenty of stigma out there. So no, it’s not OK to “out” me just because you don’t approve of every little thing I do. That’s not what this industry stands for, and doing so doesn’t make the world a better place. Discuss my ideas, not my mother’s maiden name.

I apologize for not being better at blogging. The last loads I wrote up were loads 3 & 4 this year, but I’m actually up to load 14 so far in real life. A lot of the fucks have been at sex parties, so I’ve actually fucked more than I’ve cum – the number of times I’ve fucked stands at 57 so far this year. To put that in perspective, if I keep that same rate up I’ll give 45 loads this year and fuck 183 times. I know that load count is pretty low, but it is what it is. I’m just not always in the mood to fuck.

Let me do a quick rundown of the loads…

Load 5 – was at the CumUnion After Party. A guy was bent over in a dark corner and I just went up and fucked him and blew a load in his ass. I think he was Latino, but it was too dark to get a good look.

Load 6 – was given to the skinny black dude with the big dick from my neighborhood.

Load 7 – was with another black fuckbuddy of mine. I’ve been fucking him for years. He’s got this big muscley ass that always feels good on my dick.

Load 8 – was another black guy. This one was young and super skinny with a big fat cock.

Load 9 – was an anonymous pump-n-dump with a white cumdump in my neighborhood. A few weeks later I figured out it wasn’t the first time I’d fucked him 😉

Load 10 – was given to this Middle Eastern guy who’s usually a top and almost never takes loads.

Load 11 – was at a sex party. It was sorta a slow party and finally I just went up to this black kid with a big ass and shoved my dick into him while he was on a bed sucking another guy. He complimented me on my dick and how I fucked when I was done, which was nice.

Load 12 – was at a hotel sex party/orgy. A guy was there who I’ve seen top at gangbangs and online, but he’s totally my type (short, Latino with a tight body) and he’s vers, so I fucked him and gave him a load.

Load 13 – was at a bathhouse. The bottom (Latino) had posted on BBRT that he was there looking for loads. His ass was shaved and stubbly, but regardless he was still the hottest bottom there, so he got my load.

Load 14 – was at a different bathhouse. That experience was frustrating. Bottoms were telling me “no thanks” despite the fact that they were on their stomachs and not getting any action. Finally I found one who was cute (short, smooth, Latino) and wanted to fuck so I fucked him and dumped a load in him.

So that makes 4 black guys, 4 Latinos, one Middle Eastern guy, and only 1 white guy. That’s sorta normal for me though – Latinos are my all-time favorite ethnicity to fuck, and I live in Harlem, so plenty of black guys to choose from. White guys just don’t turn me on as much – or their fatter, or something.

Tonight I’m going to another sex party, and this weekend I’m going out to Fire Island. We’ll see what trouble I can get into though it’ll be on the cold side while I’m there. I’ll try to post stuff on the blog in a more timely manner, but we’ll see…

Loads 2015-3&4

A guy who I fucked a little over a year ago contacted me recently saying he was coming to town. I didn’t think too much of it ’cause I had forgotten that I’d given him rave reviews back then. But he texted me a couple of days ago wanting to hookup, but the timing wasn’t good. So yesterday he came by. Last time I raved about his hole. This time I gotta say pretty much everything about him was perfect.

Since I last saw him he had grown a beard and it made him look really hot. (As much as I like a hot body, it’s not complete unless the guy has a nice face).

Then he took off his clothes and I was pleasantly surprised. He’d been going to the gym and bulking up. He was basically a little muscle cub. Just the right amount of hair in just the right places, and the slightest layer of fat that actually accentuated his muscle making him look slightly beefy. As I was looking at him naked I was thinking “why didn’t I remember this guy better?” Clearly he’s been working out pretty hard since we last fucked.

I should back up and say that I wasn’t all that sure about how I’d perform yesterday. I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. And I didn’t exactly have a raging hardon when I looked at porn, etc. AND I had fucked up my back on the lower back / glute machine a few days ago and was in pain much of the day. And then there was my huge failure as a top a few days before – that didn’t help either.

But… As soon as he was on all fours with his well-fucked hole pointed my direction my dick started to respond. I rimmed him until I was completely hard (didn’t take long), and then stood up and shoved in, and then quickly pushed him down on his belly.

I knew he had taken 3 loads before coming over. I hadn’t tasted them when I was (literally) sucking on his ass, but once I was in him his hole did feel a bit wet. I’ve been good about my New Year’s resolution to not jack off and only cum when I’m fucking someone. OK, I did give that oral load a few days before, but that wasn’t jacking off – a bottom did get the load (one way or the other). Anyway, I had a nice big 4 day load in my balls that needed to come out. Needless to say with a great hole on a really hot bottom, I didn’t last long.

After I came I rolled him on his side and continued to pump his ass until my dick went soft. We talked a bit, made out, and then I tried to fuck him a bit more but didn’t really have it in me. Then we kept talking and making out.

He had mentioned that the guys who’d fucked him earlier were porn stars. I asked who they were and it turns out it was Adam Russo and Cutler X. Which was funny because that was literally the blog post that had gone live on my porn blog that day – Adam & Cutler fucking Draven Torres. Substitute the Latino bottom I had in bed with me for Draven Torres and you pretty much had the scene on my porn blog. Cutler had given him one load and Adam had given him two. And lucky me, I got Adam & Cutler’s sloppy seconds!

Anyway, we kept talking and he was telling me about this one time when a top had told him to go to a bathhouse and take a bunch of loads and then go over to the top’s place so the top could fuck his cummy ass. He said he was really popular that night and got 12 loads in just a few hours at which point the top said to come over and he dumped two more load in him.

That story got me totally boned, so I climbed on top of him and kept fucking him again. The fucking went on a little longer this time and then I felt a load building up in my balls and then I blew a second load in his ass! It’s been just under two years since I last came twice in a session (including a fair number of sex parties).

According to him those were his 33rd & 34th loads of the year. So he’s on target for over 500 loads this year. I recommended he go to the CumUnion party, but it didn’t sound like he would – he had other plans. But I could totally have seen him getting another 8-10 loads there if he’d gone.

So I think this guy is pretty much my idea of the perfect bottom. He’s fairly short, Latino (both of which I like), younger than me (but not old enough to have his act together), muscular, attractive, a total slut, has a respectable job, is easy to talk to, and so on… To me that’s a pretty perfect package. I was surprised there was no ring on his finger. IMHO, he’s totally husband material – though he needs the type of husband that would love him for being a slut.

I think I’ll definitely be remembering him better next time he texts me saying he’s in town. 😉

Unfortunately this story is about a failure on my part. Monday was a holiday so when a hot little mid-20-something hit me up wanting a dark room pump-n-dump I sorta had to say yes.

I got there and his apartment was so dark I didn’t know where to go. I finally found the bedroom and he was ass up in a jockstrap. Totally my type – short, thin, young, and looked a bit Hispanic, though his profile said “White”. He said he already had 2 loads in him.

Part of me wonders how my life would be different if I had had the sexual freedom when I was young that that cumdump has now. To be honest, I’m a bit jealous of kids of his generation. But I digress…

Anyway, I didn’t intend to stay long, so I kept my clothes on – even my jacket. His hole was really nice, his body was just like I like it but (long story short), my dick just never quite responded. I tried a few times to fuck him when I was semi-hard, but he was tight and I couldn’t get in. I was thinking once I was in him I’d get harder, but I couldn’t get in him.

I gotta say he was an incredible bottom. He was completely patient. Most bottoms would have gotten frustrated, but not only was he not frustrated, he was rock hard the entire time.

Who knows why I didn’t get hard enough to fuck. I hadn’t taken a Cialis in quite a few days, but I was getting rock hard looking at porn just an hour or two earlier. Maybe it was my blood sugar or some other factor. Who knows.

Anyway, I finally laid down on the bed and rimmed his hole while we alternated between me jacking my cock and him sucking me. Then I felt my orgasm coming. I still wasn’t rock hard, but he got a pretty big load in his mouth.

I can literally count the number of times I’ve given an oral load on one hand, and probably have fingers left over. It’s probably been around 25 years since I last came in someone’s mouth. So there’s a chance I haven’t given an oral load since before the he was born. Sorta funny to think about it that way…

So I was (and am) frustrated. The whole thing feels like a huge failure. But at least the bottom got my load one way or another. Hopefully I can make it up to him at some point with a good and proper fuck. He deserves at least that much.

Loads 2015-1 & 2015-2

One of my goals this year is to go to more sex parties, bathhouses, etc. Basically more “public sex”.  To that end I’ve been to three sex parties so far. I already wrote up the first sex party – a Friday night CumUnion where I fucked 17 guys. It was a lot of fun, but I didn’t cum.  A week ago now I went to another sex party where I fucked 6 guys, but I still couldn’t cum. Or, if I did cum, I didn’t feel it (that happens more often than I’d like).

Then last weekend I went to another party and this time I just needed to cum. The first bottom I fucked was this lean guy with a beard. He had a nice body on him and a sweet ass. I think he already had some loads in him when I fucked him. Part of the problem at the other parties was the venue doesn’t have beds, so I can get bottoms down on their bellies like I like. But this place did have a bed, so I got him on his belly and once I figured out his hole was feeling good on my dick, I just concentrated on giving him my load and I came a couple minutes later. There were several strong spurts so I think he got a pretty nice big load. Of course, once I had cum my dick wasn’t super cooperative, but I still managed to fuck 4 other guys.

This week I’ve concentrated on getting work done, not sex, but once I had a 4 day load in my balls I needed to fuck someone. The black guy in the neighborhood hit me up. I warned him I hadn’t taken a Cialis, so wasn’t sure how hard I’d be, but I needed to cum and I was getting hard looking at porn – it just wasn’t the instant and thick boner I sometimes get with pills.

He came over and I stroked my dick while he did something in the bathroom. When he came out I was pretty much ready. I rimmed him briefly and got completely hard. Then I lubed him up with spit and tried to shove in. He was surprisingly tight. Took a couple tries to get in, but I finally managed. Then I put him on his belly and just concentrated on giving him a load.  His hole feels different ways depending on how much sex he’s had recently. This time it was pretty tight and was gripping my shaft really nicely. It only took a few min before I blew a nice big load in him.

After I came we had a bit of a quiet moment sorta cuddling. Then I asked if he wanted to cum. He said yeah – apparently he hadn’t cum in a week… His dick was HUGE and rock hard. He jacked off and then put the head of his cock in me as he blew his load. Then he kept jacking ’cause his dick was staying hard and he thought he could beat out another load, but he never did manage to cum again. Still it was nice to go back to work with a load in me without having to really get fucked. The Bareback Brotherhood is about sharing DNA with each other, right?

So we’re two weeks into the year and I’ve only given two loads. I’m a little disappointed. Sorta wish I were at double that number, but I’m having fun. I mean I’ve fucked 30 holes this year many of which were nice and cummy… So my dick is seeing a fair amount of action. Now I just have to try to cum more often.

I was chatting with a porn producer the other day on Skype and he told me that doing breeding videos with internal cumshots, was nearly impossible because so many of the porn stars these days inject trimix, and 80% of the guys who inject can’t manage to cum when they’re fucking – they have to pull out and jack off to cum! (Which is sorta sad, IMHO). So I asked another (well-known) producer and he hadn’t thought about it, but as he thought it over he thought it was probably true.

I’ve noticed that trimix is sorta taking over porn. When one studio shot at my house the producer offered all the models an injection of trimix before they started. And in some of the other scenes I’ve watched the more “professional” porn stars (aka full-time escort tops), bring their own needles and trimix to the shoot. Yes, they had rock hard cocks for hours, but losing the ability to cum makes me wonder…

I know there are times when I wish I could stay hard for hours – namely when I go to sex parties. I’ve thought of talking to my doctor about it, but I hate needles. I used to actually blackout when I got injections. I’m better, but can’t really look at the needle when they’re doing things like drawing my blood. So I doubt it would be a good idea for me to stick a needle in my cock at the beginning of a sex party. [It also explains one of the many reasons why I’m not an IV drug user.]

However, I’m thinking of talking to my doctor about Muse when I go in for my quarterly PrEP check-up in a couple weeks. Muse is a suppository you put up your urethra. It’s more or less the predecessor to trimix – not quite as effective, and doesn’t require injection. Not sure if it causes the same problems with cumming like trimix, but at sex parties it’s fun just to see how many guys you can get your dick in. Cumming is optional (though nice).

So next time you see a breeding video with internal cumshots – give those tops a bit more  respect. They’re doing something most porn stars can’t do.