Not all my hookups are hot – some are actually pretty bad. There was one like that this past Monday night. It was with the bottom who I fucked in December who didn’t seem to want my cum in his ass (but I gave it to him there anyway). I should say from the outset the fact that it was a bad hookup wasn’t his fault…

A huge part of the day my bf was being really pissy with me. Put me in a really really bad mood. When he left late afternoon I was able to get pretty hard ’cause I’d taken a part of a pill Sunday morning ’cause I thought I was going to hookup with this guy from Brooklyn (but it didn’t happen). But needless to say the spat with my bf put me in a weird mood and I didn’t know how it would go if I hooked up with someone.

He got here and my dick never really got above half mast. I just wasn’t in the mood. I was hoping I’d be up for taking my frustrations out on him, but it just didn’t work that way – and he would have been a perfect bottom for it. Turns out he likes it rough – he likes being degraded – treated like a pig. I told him he was a worthless piece of shit – that all he was to me a was a piece of meat and that totally turned him on. This time instead of resisting taking my load he really wanted it. He just wanted to be my cumdump.

I had some fun with him – pushing his face into the pillow until he couldn’t breathe, choking him a bit, and I did get hard enough to fuck him a couple times briefly… But it just wasn’t going to happen so after a while he went his way…

He lives just a few blocks from me so I gotta hookup with him again. I do really like how he likes to be degraded…

Well, the Swiss courts have just ruled that people who have undetectable viral loads can’t be charged with HIV transmission because the transmission is likely just “hypothetical”. That’s a huge step forward, IMO. The current laws on HIV transmission were created in a time when HIV was incurable and a fairly quick death sentence. That’s just not the case anymore and gay men have known it in their guts for nearly a decade now. Last year Swiss government researchers confirmed what we strongly suspected – there’s essentially no risk in serodiscordant (poz/neg) heterosexual sex provided certain criteria are met, and that the same is probably true for gay sex. In other words the current drug cocktails change things substantially enough that we have to rethink our assumptions on what should be legally criminal transmission of HIV.

It’s a little sad how we’ve criminalized our brothers for having sex. I mean people are going to jail when no actual transmission occurred. And the burdon is put on the poz person to disclose rather than the neg person to ask which basically makes poz people sexual lepers, at least legally. Hopefully those attitudes will change as people re-evaluate what it means to be poz.

Like the case last year with the hot poz guy in North Carolina who was put under house arrest for barebacking (incidentally, he found the post and posted a comment just a week or so ago). Whether there was actual infection should have been considered, the sexual history of the negative person should have been considered, and his viral load should have been considered. But North Carolina is hardly a progressive state and I’m sure none of those were considered.

I doubt we’ll see these types of legal decisions in the US any time soon. But we can hope… At least the tide is changing somewhere…

Geneva’s deputy public prosecutor, Yves Bertossa, believes it is only a matter of time before other jurisdictions realise that prosecutions for HIV exposure should not take place when the accused is on successful antiretroviral therapy. He told Radio Lac: “There are some medical advances which can change the law. I think that in other [parts of Switzerland] or in other countries, the same conclusions should apply to their laws.”

I’m really horrible picking up guys when I’m just out doing stuff. But sometimes it happens. That’s how I met the heavily tattooed Latino who lives near me – back in December of ’97 I was walking down 7th Avenue in full leather and he came up to me cute as a button with red Santa’s elf hat on… Anyway, Wednesday I was coming back from jury duty (thank god I didn’t get on the 2-3 week murder trial I had to do jury selection for), and this Latino guy was sitting across from me on the subway. It seemed like every time I looked his way he was looking at me.

I saw him grab his bag the stop before mine, but then he didn’t get off – he got off at my stop. We went up the elevators and when we got on the street he said ‘how’s it going?’. Then he asked my name… 5 seconds later we were at the front of my building and he asked if I lived with anyone. I said my bf, but he wasn’t home right then. He asked if he could come up – I said sure. As we were walking through the lobby he asked me if I were Jewish – he thought the buildings around where I lived were all Jewish. I said no, but there were a lot of Jews living here when we moved in – less so now…

The thing about casual hookups is you never know how they’ll turn out ’cause you really don’t know what the other person is into. He wanted me to lay back on the bed ’cause he wanted to suck my dick, but he wanted me to strip down, so I took of my clothes, then we got him out of his then we got down to business. But I wasn’t totally hard (hadn’t taken a pill), and he didn’t seem as interested in sucking my dick. His dick was rock hard and big – like 9.5+. I sucked him for a bit, then I got him on his back and moved from his dick to his ass and started rimming him. He had been out and about, so he was all musky, when I got to his ass it was almost pungent, but not quite rank – just a really strong smell.

He seemed to like me rimming him and as usual rimming got me nice and hard. I got up, he saw my hard dick and went to sucking it… Then he got me on the bed on my back and sucked me that way. He pushed my leg apart and really wanted to fuck me, but that wasn’t going to happen.

I got up and started playing more with his body and his ass. He had a great body – lean, with a small fuckable ass (small, but not flat). All of a sudden he came – nice big load too. I got down there and started licking it up and sucking on his dick a bit more, which he liked.

He really wanted me to cum, but by that point I knew he didn’t want to get fucked (or as he put it “I don’t take dick”). I knew it probably just wasn’t going to happen. He was hot and all, but I could just tell I wasn’t up for it. About this time I asked him about his wedding ring whether it meant he had a boyfriend or a wife – he said a wife…

Anyway, we kept playing – he stayed rock hard I sucked him some more, and at one point he turned around and presented his ass to me as I was down on my knees, so I rimmed him some more. Really got into it and was as close as I was going to come to actually cumming, but still knew it wasn’t going to happen.

When I stood up he turned around (he really didn’t want my dick near his ass), and after a bit we got back to things and I was sucking him some more, but he didn’t think he could cum again, so he washed up and we got our clothes on. When he was in the bathroom I was looking at him – great lean body – probably about 30ish, and like a lot of Dominicans he had this great natural color to him. Being as pale as I am I’m always a bit jealous of guys who’ve got a nice color – and I definitely loved the color of his skin – it was dark, but not black…

After we got our clothes on he was still horny and hard so we pulled out our dicks and once again I went down on him and this time I got his load – 2nd of the session. Stood up and showed him the load on my tongue…

I gave him my number as he was leaving – not sure if he’ll get in touch with me again. I would really really love to get inside that ass of his and dump a load up that straight butt of his… Wonder what it will take to get that to happen…

[BTW, he was so ‘pungent’ I couldn’t get his smell out of my beard and my bf figured out I hooked up with someone when he kissed me and smelled his ass in my beard. And that was after washing my beard about 3 times… 😉 ]

I totally feel like I’m going through withdrawl… I set my laptop (a MacBook Pro) on my chair and it managed to slip off fall a few inches and hit the (metal) leg of my desk. The result was a bit catastrophic – the hard drive got fucked up. I took it out, tried to pull files off it, but since it was only half working that was a painful process. I got what I could (it was amazing how little I needed off it since so much is on servers these days). After erasing it I put it back in my laptop only to discover that my DVD drive wouldn’t read the install DVD. So I went down to TekServe but they refused to honor my AppleCare warranty citing a few dents in the laptop that happened like a year ago (aluminum is a soft metal). They also refused to sell me the part I needed – they’d only do the part installed for $300. So, I went home and bought the part off eBay for $120 (with next day shipping), and the next day got that installed. But then I realized the hard drive was really fucked and was completely dead.

SO, since I was going to need a new laptop this year anyway, we just went ahead and ordered a new MacBook Pro. When that comes in I’ll pull the data off a previous hard drive for the old laptop that I was using as a backup drive, put the previous hard drive in it, and sell it on eBay to defray the cost of the new laptop.

In the meantime I’m totally going through withdrawl. Yesterday I felt depressed, lethargic and a bit beat up by the whole experience. It’s amazing how dependent I am on not just having a computer (my bf and I have 6 between us plus 2 servers at a data center plus one we’re about to throw out), but I’ve become completely dependent on my laptop… For the next week or so I have to make due with an iMac we have – but I can’t curl up on the couch with it. And the new MacBooks aren’t as couch friendly either (my bf has one) – the screens are heavier since they’ve got glass in them an they tend to fall down when you’re laying on your back… But it will be nice to have a faster machine.

The other thing that happened this week was we got rid of the guy who was working for us. He was doing image tagging/rating for the porn blog as well as cleaning and generally helping out. Thing was, he just wasn’t that good… He’d literally mop himself into a corner and then complain ’cause his socks were getting wet. When we had him doing some painting around the apartment it was a disaster – paint got EVERYWHERE. And the straw that broke the camel’s back was that he filed a check. Who would file a check? Checks need to be deposited.

So we put out two ads – one for a personal assistant and one to help with the porn blog. The upside of a down economy is that there are so many quality people out there to to chose from. We had this one guy tell us about his mother who was looking for work – she used to be the personal assistant for a big name fashion designer, she had lost her job and was about to go into forclosure on her house. Really sad. There are people who have had had really good jobs but are now willing to work with porn for $10/hour… We’ve picked the personal assistant, and I’ll pick the one to help me with porn later today. But so many people are unemployed or underemployed.

I know, I know… I need to get back to fucking… All last year I was wondering when my dry period was going to come and it never really came. Well, it’s here now, at least I’m fucking someone every week or two… I’ve gone 3 months without sex before…

OK, I know it seems like it’s all I’m talking about lately, but it’s new and fresh… Anyway, here’s the last bit I’ll say for a while…

The new Bareback Buds Blog had it’s first full day yesterday. According to Google Analytics there were 1,065 page views on the blog (946 unique).

Plus it went out via my combined RSS feed to 172 more people so there were about 1,100+ eyeballs seeing the posts. Over time that will grow as it gets a following and as it starts to get traffic from search engines. Still, not bad stats for day 1… 😉

I’ve seen the stats for a number of different bareback blogs and most average in the 100-200 visits/day range and it goes without saying that they start with even less, so this beats that hands down… There are some like BikeGuy13 and Matt & Dan who’ve built up bigger followings (Bike Guy says he gets about 700-800/day), but the vast majority of sex blogs get less than he gets. Bottom line, if you want to start blogging your sex life, the buds blog is a great place to do it.

So far 8 guys have signed up for the blog, and 4 have written stories. If you’ve got a story to tell, sign up, and tell it… And you guys who just like to read – post comments and let the guys know how they’re doing! Or at least contact them via e-mail… It really will encourage them to write more.

I had a really good response to the post yesterday asking if anyone was interested in having a blog here on rawtop.com. So I spent the day today getting it up – so you’ll notice a BB Buds link in the main nav above.

Here are the basic details (I’ve put up a more detailed explanation elsewhere)… Anyone can register and submit a post. Stories have to be about you. If you want to work on fiction, just let me know and I can set that up too… Initially your posts will have to be approved. In part this is to make sure no one abuses the system, but it’s also to make sure you understand the basics about blogging. After a few posts, once you get the hang of things your status will be upgraded and you’ll be allowed to post immediately and upload pictures.

So what do you get if you post? For starters, you get recognition for what you write. Under each blog post will be your user name, e-mail address, website URL, Yahoo! Messenger ID and AIM ID (if you provide them). That way people can contact you if they like your story and want to hookup with you. On top of that you get a page that’s just your blog posts (see the one for AskeMeIMight – the first guy to do a post) that has all your contact info at the top as well as a general blurb about you (if you provide it).  Remember, your website URL can be a link to your public profile page on your favorite hookup site, it doesn’t have to be another blog…

You can also put links to sponsors in your posts provided your post doesn’t come off looking too commercial. It take a fair amount of traffic to make money, but eventually you will make some money. If you want to know what sponsors do well on this site check out the webmasters blog I started up the other day (just one post so far, and still rough around the edges, but more to come)…

So there you have it… Wanna share stories about your sex life in a place where lot of people will read what you write? Now you can…