Load 2009-14

Thursdays are weird for me sexually. I work on porn that day pretty much exclusively and by the end of the day I’m completely boned. Problem is, I work so hard I’m usually completely wiped by the end of the day. There’s a small window in there where I could keep my energy going long enough to fuck, but then I crash and I’m useless. That was pretty much how it was yesterday so when a bottom suggested hooking up in the morning I thought it was a great idea, but Fridays are when we have our cleaning guy in, so the hookup had to be done by 9am. That was fine with this guy, so we said he’d come by at 8. I told him I’d login early, but if I wasn’t online to call or text me. He called that evening just to make sure I was serious – so I sorta knew he was serious too…

Anyway, I wound up going to bed late (1:30) and was woken up to the sound of a phone going off at 7am. I missed the call, but then he texted, and I responded to the text saying I was up for it and the next text from him was that he was getting on the train and would call or text me when he got to my station. He was pretty dedicated since he didn’t even have my address.

I didn’t know where he was coming from so didn’t know if I had time to take a pill, so I skipped it thinking I would be plenty hard given how horny I was the day before (and I hadn’t jacked off since then). In cases like today I’m fine without a pill – just not quite as rock hard or as thick.

He called when he got out of the subway, I told him how to get to my building and a few minutes later he was here. He hadn’t unlocked his pics the last time we had spoken and honestly I didn’t know what he would look like – he was dressed for work, so pretty professionally – all in all he was more than fine for a hookup without face pics. 😉 He asked to use the bathroom and took a while so I laid on the bed and started jacking my dick. By the time he came out I was hard and he was naked. But that sorta cut short any foreplay or tenderness. He just went right to sucking my dick.

He was a good cocksucker – no teeth and felt good, but I’m not big on blowjobs so pretty quickly I grabbed the Gun Oil and had my dick up his ass. His ass felt great. Not sure if it was the lube (hadn’t used Gun Oil in a while) or his hole, but it was nice and silky… But doggy position (like we were doing) it wasn’t tight enough or rubbing the right spots well enough for me to cum, so after a little fucking I had him get on his belly which is how I’ve been coming lately…

He was pretty verbal, but not too verbal, which was fine – I tend to be pretty quiet when I’m fucking. I did fuck him for a little while – it wasn’t quite a pump and dump, but honestly I did cum pretty quickly – so it was almost a pump and dump. The funny part was he asked me if I had fucked Dawson almost immediately after I came in his ass – told him yes, but it was years ago now… We laid there for a moment after I gave him my load, but then later he was up and getting dressed in the bathroom…

When the guy had gone my boyfriend asked if something had gone wrong since the hookup was so quick. He had been here maybe 20 minutes, if that – so it was a pretty quick hookup.

Load 2009-13

Well, the photoshoot yesterday didn’t happen. It’s been a bit of a learning experience trying to coordinate a shoot. Solos are a lot easier – you just need one guy to come. But with sex scenes it’s the worst of trying to hookup online multiplied many times over. First you have to get guys who are more or less into each other. Then you have to coordinate their schedules. Few guys want to commit to anything. Some don’t want to show their face, some only want to work with neg guys, etc. My take away is to treat it like a sex party where I set the date and time and see who can show up at that time. But I didn’t learn that lesson in time for yesterday’s shoot.

I had actually put a lot of work into trying to find models, etc. so I was in a pretty bad mood and that got my bf and I to fighting. Bottom line – he saw the trip as a vacation, I saw it as work with some down time mixed in. We finally patched things up and went out for a nice dinner then came back rested and headed out a bit later on (had to wait for the torrential rains to subside).

We went to Campus, one of the stripper bars, and a black guy who had been all over me the night before was on stage doing his non-nude dance. Now, the guys are generally pretty aggressive at the stripper bars, but most of them are straight. I had seen this guy hanging all over a bear, so when he came up to me and started doing the same thing I knew it was more than the regular aggressiveness. His type was hairy white bears with facial hair. He must of spent 30 minutes with me and it was really pretty intense. I wasn’t in the mood that night to go have a dance (plus they’re a complete rip off, so I just tipped him a bit).

Anyway, when he was done with his dance he came up to me and asked if I’d be his fluffer. I wasn’t sure if he was serious, so I said ‘sure’, but didn’t know what would come of it. But a couple songs later he came back around and said the management wouldn’t mind ’cause they keep telling him he needs to get completely hard and it’s hard for him to get hard when it’s not with someone else. And I should mention he didn’t ask for any money. So the song before his dance started and we found a booth and I gave him a blowjob and he got nice and hard. He really was into bears – ’cause he’d stop me and make out, etc. It didn’t last long ’cause his song started and he had to rush on stage. Even though his dick is pretty big it doesn’t show as well as some ’cause it’s pretty bent – downwards – so it doesn’t stick out from his body.

So that was an interesting start to the evening. My bf was a bit jealous, but later in the evening he had plenty of attention from other guys, though none as intense and sincere.

I stayed there for a while and then went out to GI Joe – one of Montréal’s raunchier bathhouses. Just went by myself – my bf went out dancing with a guy he met who lived in NY. I should back up a bit and say I had forgotten to bring my pills on the trip and my libido was pretty low given all the stress I was feeling from things falling apart with the models, so I asked how much for the stuff they were selling and was told one type was $20 and another was $25. The guy said the $25 ones (“Forta”) were much better according to the customers who bought both. There were only two in the package and you were supposed to take the 2nd 3 hours after the first. Well, I’ll just say now, what they sold me sucked – my pills are WAY better than those (at least for me).

So I got undressed, and look around to see what’s up. There were a few bottoms on their bellies (what I look for), but not that many. I went to the basement where they have a big room with some glory holes. This attractive hairy bear came onto me. Long story short we got into a corner and I got down and gave him a blowjob. He was pretty horny and it wasn’t long before he was about to blow his load. He pulled out and turned away and I just grabbed his dick and went back to sucking it. He liked that and blew a big load in my mouth. So that was load #1.

After that I walked around a bit more and there was a guy on the top floor who was on all fours. I  went in and he barely looked at me – just kept his head down and his greasy ass up. I rimmed him a bit, got hard, and fucked him for a while. As I fucked him his ass went from greasy to wet – and in particular wet with loads he had taken earlier (it just feels different than lube). He seemed to have a lot of loads in there, so a couple times I got down and felched cum out of his ass – it was literally running out of his hole he had so much in there. Tasted good 🙂

I didn’t want to cum so early in the evening. It was at that point I thought I’d see how many holes I could get my dick in. I said that and believed it for a while, but also didn’t take it too seriously – there were willing holes I didn’t fuck.

Anyway, I went back down to the basement and in one of the pitch black glory holes there was a bald (or shaved head) cocksucker. I was feeling him up and felt his ass an it was dripping with cum. The glory holes there are big enough that they’re good for fucking. So apparently he’d been there a while and had spent plenty of time with his ass pushed up against the glory hole letting complete strangers he couldn’t see fuck him and dump their loads in him.

Needless to say I wanted to fuck his cummy ass. I had to get on my tippy toes to do it, but I fucked him for a while. Oddly he didn’t seem to want it to go on for long and he stopped after a few minutes. So I kept walking around.

When I was in my room I saw one of the models who contacted me about porn walk past. He’s a hot, ripped muscle daddy type who had wanted to do a leather scene. I stopped him, told him who I was and apologized things didn’t work out. It was then I realized he was up for doing more than I realized and it might have worked out with him (another lesson learned). Anyway, it was good meeting him and we kept seeing each other all night… [As a bit of an update – once again I misread him and today he tells me I should have fucked him at the bathhouse…]

Up on the top floor again a few doors down from my room and in the room next to the first guy I fucked there was this hot, lean, upper 20s guy laying on his belly. He looked a bit like a Euro boy type. I went in and started rimming him but my dick wasn’t cooperating, so I stopped and told him I’d be back. I don’t think he believed me, but I went to my room and jacked my dick until I was hard and then went back to his room and went straight to fucking him. I knew he was the guy who was going to get my load and I didn’t hold back fucking him. And yes, he did get my load and he wanted me to come back for more…

I knew I needed a little downtime and I was hoping I’d have a second wind, so I laid in my room and tried to recharge. I was playing with my iPhone (I’ve gotten addicted to playing solitaire on it), and I snapped a few pics of myself in the mirror over the bed… [And yeah, I’m heavy – I’m a bear – if it bothers you just get over it…]

The stuff I had taken was making me sweat like crazy, but after a while I figured I was as ready as I’d ever be. (They really did suck – I should have been rock hard after a 20 minute rest – oh well). So I looked around again and wound up in the basement again.

For some strange reason guys were really into me. Problem was some of the guys who were all over me I wasn’t into at all. Finally I found myself in a dark corner (by the 2nd guy I had fucked) and there were two reasonably hot guys competing to service me. One kept feeling up my butt wanting to fuck me, and the other spent a lot of time on his knees sucking me. Oh, I should mention there was this other guy who was back there who was a hot little hairy muscle guy with a pierced uncut cock – very hot, but he left.

Long story short I figured I might as well suck some dick since it didn’t look like either of them wanted to get fucked. So I got on my knees and the top who had been feeling up my ass had this cock that was thin and curved up and to the left. (Weird that it was the 2nd seriously curved cock I had sucked that night). He was trying to face fuck me pretty hard – forcing my head down on his dick – that never sets well with me and I resisted and sucked the other guy’s cock as well. The other guy had a uncut dick with really long foreskin that was leaking like crazy.

Long story short the guy with the uncut cock blew his load in my mouth and before I could even swallow I went back to sucking the other guy. Given how rough he was and the fact that I was squatting and my legs were going to sleep I stopped it after a bit and stood up. At that point he got down and sucked me until he blew his load. So I didn’t get that load, but did make a guy cum…

After that I knew it was time to go, so I got dressed and caught a cab…

Load 2008-11

About a week ago (the day of the Gay Pride Parade) my boyfriend had gone out to march in the parade. I was mostly over being sick, but didn’t want to push it so I stayed home. I thought maybe I’d take a nap, but figured I’d look and see if I could find someone to fuck. The hairy Italian daddy I’ve fucked a bunch of times before had e-mailed me a day or two before so I e-mailed him back and told him I was available. Like the other times he rushed right over. It’s like he lives to get fucked and take loads – like he’s an easy on-call cumhole. Why there can’t be more bottoms like that, I don’t know.

He comes over and asks if he can clean out a bit more, so I say sure and lay on the bed and start jacking my dick. He comes out and starts giving me a blowjob and then has me take off my clothes. He’s not a very good cocksucker – doesn’t keep his teeth away from my dick. So after a little bit I tell him to sit on my dick. He rides for a bit, but it’s just not doing it for me, so I have him pull off to switch positions I hear a bit of a noise, look down and there’s a wet shitty smear sorta dripping on my leg to the side of my pubes. UGH!!! Once again he’s failed to clean out properly. He apologizes and we both go into the bathroom to clean up. I had my glasses off but I notice there’s water all over the floor. I clean off, come out while he cleans out some more, get a new towel to put over the one that luckily I’d put on the bed and try to get myself back into the mood to fuck. Often a dirty hole just puts me off my game and it doesn’t happen at all.

When he comes back out of the bathroom I figure I’d have him lay on his belly. At least that way gravity will be working in my favor if he’s not clean. I do manage to get hard again and go back to fucking him. I think tops will understand what I mean when I say his hole felt uncomfortably wet – it was wet, but not lubricated. I tried putting a bunch of lube on his ass to improve the sensation and it helped a bit. What he was lacking is anal mucus – he’d washed it all out of his ass, and his ass was so wet it diluted the lube when it was applied.

I kept fucking him, but started wondering whether I’d be able to cum with him. At this point he was a piece of meat to me – a hole to fuck. As long as my dick stayed hard and he didn’t tell me to stop I was going to fuck him however I felt like fucking him. I wasn’t able to cum, but thanks to having taken a pill I was staying plenty hard.

So I fucked him and fucked him and fucked him. I could tell I was sorta wearing him out, but like a good bottom he just laid there and took it. I’m not sure if he enjoyed it or if it was uncomfortable for him – I honestly didn’t really care. The funny part was he kept telling me “You’re the best” which I found a little funny. I wasn’t sure whether that meant he was enjoying himself or whether he was just thinking that stroking my ego would make me cum and it would be over.

Finally his ass started producing mucus again and it started feeling better, and I changed positions a bit so one of my legs was between his and the other outside of his – so I was fucking from a bit of an angle. One way or the other I did finally cum in his ass.

He was worn out as well. He was going to jack off, but then we got to talking and finally he just got up and gathered his things and left. As he was gathering his things he noticed one of his new bottles of poppers was nearly empty and he realized he’s manage to spill the poppers in his car on the way over. That’s gotta make your car smell like shit – not sure how he’s going to explain the smell to his kids if they ask what it is. But he had brought the bag into my apartment and so now my bedroom reeked of poppers.

But the worst part was when I finally went into the bathroom and saw the mess there. He had managed to get shit EVERYWHERE. It was all over the toilet, but it was on the bath mat, and there were small brownish spots on the towels that were hanging on the wall, and all over the walls. It’s like shit-infused water had spattered all over the bathroom. It was disgusting.

It’s really too bad. He’s so eager, so dependable, but not being clean is a reoccurring theme with him. I’m pretty sure what he’s doing is trying to hard – using too  much water with too much force and getting water too far up into his colon. And I don’t think he’s careful enough to sit properly on the toilet – I think he squats and aims (and misses).

So unfortunately I had to bring up the issue with him in e-mail after he left. He’s such a nice guy and he’s going through such a rough time – he’s been unemployed for months and his ex-wife is insisting he pay child support when he has no money – he’s literally worried about becoming homeless. So it was really awkward to tell him he’s failed in yet another thing as simple as cleaning out his ass.

What I need is a bottom as eager, dependable, and available as him who’s squeaky clean every time they show up.

Load 2009-12

[I’m now three hookups behind in writing things up – I’m going to go in reverse order since the latest one is freshest in my mind and the first one has video that needs to be edited and will take time…]

There’s a guy I’ve seen online for a while now – wasn’t sure if he was really my type or not, but after having two guys bail on me when I tried to hookup yesterday, I figured what the hell when he send me a message on BarebackRT and was willing to travel. After the two guys yesterday I didn’t know if he’d show up or not, but he did.

When he showed up he was sorta cute in his clothes. He had a bit of a scruffy look to him and I’m guessing by his looks that he’s poz (can’t say for sure). I was very pleasantly surprised during the initial groping phase – tight, slightly muscular body – thin waist – just like I like them. He was light skinned Latino – also a plus for me – complete with a sexy accent. But with him coming in and stripping down almost immediately there was a definite sexual vibe to the encounter. I knew from his profile that he wasn’t just looking to be an anonymous cumhole – he wanted more – he wanted conversation, kissing – in other words – “meaningful sex”.

But the vibe was totally about him as a cumhole. I had my finger on his hole within like 2 minutes of him getting in the door, and a couple minutes after that (after a little cocksucking) he was bent over and I was rimming his hairy ass, and a minute or two after that my cock was up his hole. So much for his quest for meaninful sex.

Right after I started fucking him he asked if I had poppers, and then when I pulled out he asked if there was anything he could drink. So I ran and got some iced tea and the bottle of poppers. Then we were back at it… He seemed to want to be on his back (so he could look me in the eye – typical of “meaningful sex”). I wanted him face down. We tried it his way for a bit, but I knew from when I originally started fucking him that his hole felt really good when he was on his belly, so I had him change back to being on his belly.

As soon as he was on his belly I knew I was going to cum pretty quickly. I’ve been trying not to jack off, so I hadn’t cum since when I fucked a guy three days ago – as a result it’s wasn’t long before I blew my load in his hole. I know it was way earlier than he was hoping for, but it is what it is. I know from experience that if I hold back I often can’t cum at all – I’d rather cum too soon than not cum at all.

I stayed in him for a while while he tried to jack off, but he never managed to cum. The bottom line is that it was a pump-and-dump encounter that we were trying to pretend wasn’t a pump-and-dump. We talked for a little bit, then he cleaned up, dressed and left…

Load 2009-8

Yesterday afternoon was the perfect moment in my IML experience. While I have issues with how IML is run, it’s moments like this that will get me back here next year.

For starters the guys who were taking over my blackout party wanted to come by to talk to me (NotSoInnocent and BountyHunter from BarebackRT). Then while I was waiting for them a hot black bottom from LA contacts me and wants to come over. While I was chatting with him the straight married lawyer who I played around with last year called me and was in the hotel and wanted to stop by.

First the guys who were doing the party got here. One was in leather the other in street clothes. Nice guys. We chatted a bit and then there was a knock at the door – it was the straight lawyer. He came in and was curious that I had other guys in the room who were potential bottoms… After doing his forceful dominance thing with one of the guys – basically sitting on him like he was a horse or a dog or something, he saw that my gear was out on the desk from the session the day before and he picked through it and started putting a collar on one of the guys. Then he got one of the floggers and started using it on the guy’s ass…

The other guy decided he wanted to get into his leather and come back, so he left. It wasn’t long before the remaining guy was tied up and the lawyer and I were using him. I let the lawyer lead – he has this subtle but persistent energy to him where he forces you firmly but gently to do what he wants.

After a while he had the bottom on the bed pushing the bottom down with his legs as laid back on the bed. I was flogging the backside of the guy’s legs. (BTW, the “bottom” is usually a top.) After a bit I took some rope and some restraints and basically did a loose version of a hog tie with the guy on his belly and his ankles tied to his collar.

Then there was another knock on the door. I was expecting the other guy doing the party to come back, but it was the black guy. I had told him the straight guy was coming over so he asked if he was still there, and I brought him into the room… He’s not big on S/M and just wanted to get fucked. He stripped down and presented his ass to me. I ate out his ass for a while as the straight guy continued to play with the guy who was all tied up.

I started fucked the black guy with him in a doggy position, then I pushed him into the middle of the bed where he was right next to the guy tied up and the straight guy started forcing him down on the bed with his legs. That lasted for a bit but the black guy was a bit nervous and didn’t like being forced down so he pushed himself back up a bit.

The straight guy had already started feeling the scene was changing and I could tell he wasn’t 100% into what was going on. He’s about dominance and control. He seems more interested in the fact that he could fuck you if he wanted to than actually fucking. He’s simply not motivated to fuck at all – it’s all about dominance to him. When the black guy pushed himself back up that was sorta the end of his attention span. Plus the bottom who was tied up was getting to his limit as well.

The straight guy got up, we untied the bottom to the point he could get himself out of the rest of what he had on, and I went back to fucking the black guy. The straight guy then asked if he could take the whip he had left with me the year before – he wanted to go walk around the hotel. I figured that was the last I was going to see of him and the whip, and he left. Then the bottom got himself untied and he left too – wondering why his friend hadn’t come back…

At last the black guy and I were alone, which was a good thing. I can fuck when I’m around other people, but I’m better when I’m 1-on-1… Being watched makes me a bit nervous. He had a bubbly full ass (and a lean body). His ass felt good, but it was a bit of a challenge getting just the right part of my dick rubbed the right way. I was starting to think I wasn’t going to be able to cum when I had him change a bit and I fucked him on his belly with one leg bent – so I was sorta coming at his ass from an angle. That was better, but I still wondered if I could cum. Finally he was almost falling off the bed (supporting himself with his arms touching the floor) and I found the goove and knew I’d get my nut. A couple minutes later he got my 2 day load up his butt.

We talked for a bit and then he was on his way. One of the things he mentioned was that I needed new pics – that my pictures didn’t do me justice. So I pulled out the camera and had him take a few. The first couple didn’t come out very well (see pic to the right – lol) – I was backlit so the initial pics were completely useless. I tried to get the flash to work, but finally gave up and took a picture in a different location in the room.

I then laid down for a bit and thought that was a cool ending to the last afternoon at IML. But then there was a knock on the door – the guy who was hosting the party had come back in leather. I told him I had just come, but if he wanted to play with flogging or something I was up for that. He had never been flogged and was a versatile top, but was willing to give it a try.

I knew I had to be pretty gentle on him since it was his first time. He pulled out a video camera and a blindfold and so we recorded his flogging. Hopefully he’ll put it up on a tube site so I can embed it here.

It was a good session. Couldn’t go all that hard on him, but he took more than he thought he could and actually got off on the pain, which wasn’t something he was expecting. Eventually my wrist was getting tired and he was starting to reach his limit, so we stopped.

All in all, pretty much the perfect IML afternoon…

Load 2009-6

After the gangbang on Thursday I was wiped. I just hadn’t had enough sleep. After missing the one and only contest event I planned on going to last year, I had promised myself I’d go to the three big events this year – opening ceremonies, “pecs and personality” and the main contest Sunday night. So after the gangbang I headed off to opening ceremonies. Did you know IML is Chicago’s 4th largest convention?

When I got back from opening ceremonies I decided to just go to bed. At 4am I woke and as I expected I had a hardon and wanted to fuck. I got online and sent a few messages to guys who were online and in the hotel, but nothing came of it. But right before I was about to go back to bed a versatile guy who was supposed to come to the gangbang contacted me and it turns out he was in the hotel – just had entered his zip code wrong so he wasn’t showing as 0 miles away. Long story short he was at my room in about 5 minutes.

When he arrived he was a little shorter than me, thin, and attractive. He stripped down, sucked on my dick a bit and then I had my cock up his ass pretty quickly. To me this was pretty much a pump-and-dump. I hadn’t cum in days and just needed to unload. The only real distraction with him was he had shaved all over and there was stubble – not a big deal ’cause what I really wanted was a good hole and he definitely had that…

I didn’t last all that long – maybe 5 or 10 minutes then I blasted a huge load up his butt. Since I was still hard we changed positions and he rode my dick while he jacked off. After a while it was clear he wasn’t going to be able to cum, so we stopped and chatted…

One of the things he had told me before was that he was high viral load poz… His numbers are still good enough that he doesn’t need to be on meds. Because of that he’s gotten a number of bug chasers who want to hookup with him and he’s converted three guys that he knows of, plus however many who throw their legs in the air and never ask questions when he fucks them. Weirdly, one of the guys he converted since died – he was something like 21 and committed suicide. It would seem in at least his case that his bug chasing was part of his generally destructive tendencies.

After he left I went back to bed and didn’t wake up until 11am…