Well, the last few days my attempts to give loads have run up against bad bottoms that sorta defeat my best intentions.

Sunday I was at the Eagle and was out in the backyard with a few friends. This skinny tattooed guy came out and hung out like he knew us – listening to our rather frank/personal discussion. Finally I just introduced myself. Then we continued on our conversation – but he still just stood there and listened. Finally he started getting frisky with one of my friends – grinding his ass into my friend’s crotch. Next thing I knew the back of his shorts were down and my friend was fucking him. It was sorta hot and I repositioned myself next to them so I could watch a bit more closely.

Then, right when things were getting hot and heavy, one of the barbacks comes out with a bunch of trash and castigates the guys saying “You can’t do that here! You’re on camera” – and he points to the camera right above them. My friend pulls out and my other friends start chatting with the barback – seems they knew him pretty well.

As soon as the barback was gone my friend didn’t seem interested in fucking anymore and he wandered away and the bottom started paying attention to me – he wanted to suck my dick which he did briefly but I told him I wanted to fuck. We got into a corner, away from the cameras (with friends watching the door), and the guy bent over and I spit on my dick ans shoved in.

Pretty soon I started smelling shit. I was hoping it wasn’t too bad. I kept fucking to see if I could cum quickly, but it wasn’t happening and the smell of shit was getting stronger. So I pulled out and my dick was covered in it. I had my 2 gauge PA in (the curved barbell, not th ring), and that only made things messier. I told him about the problem and he kept apologizing profusely. I told him I needed something to clean up with – preferably something moist. He disappeared and then one of my friends said he’d go get something. (The mark of a true friend is when they fetch clean up stuff when you’re in a situation like that). Meanwhile I was pissing – hoping that would clean things a little. But there was no way I was shoving a shit-covered dick back into my pants where it would mess up my pants.

My friend came back with a bunch of napkins. They helped a lot. I used the bottom’s beer for moisture. And generally got things more or less clean. Then the bottom came back with a little towel that was moist. It would never have been adequate on its own, but I was impressed he’d show his face again in order to make things better.

So that attempt to give a load ended rather disastrously. Unfortunately, tonight didn’t go any better.

Today I was in the mood to fuck and there were two gangbangs listed on BBRT. I did a request for both since what’s motivating me as a top lately is cummy holes and the best way to fuck a cummy hole is at a gangbang. I was a little surprised when the one guy who had 60+ attendees didn’t approve me. Maybe he was feeling overwhelmed with responses or something – who knows? But I was happy when, ‘TigerBeat’ a hot, late-20-something bottom approved me for his gangbang. I replied letting him know when I would try to get there, and he replied back something like “sounds good”.

I headed down a few minutes earlier than I had originally planned. He lived in the Lower East Side, so it was a bit of a hike – but the idea of a hot guy with a cummy hole made the trip worth it. I get there and ring the buzzer and heard a crackle on the intercom, but the door didn’t open. Then a guy came out of the building with his laundry and he let me in. I went up to the apartment (a 5th floor walk-up) and before I could ring the doorbell the door opened. The guy was in his underwear (nice tight body), there was music in the background, and he said something like “Sorry, I sent you an email asking you not to come”. Ugh! Seriously? He went on to say he knew about my blog and he “respected me, but [he] needed to be discreet”. All I could think to say was “Are you sure?” He was, so I turned around and left.

But in hindsight that’s total bullshit. I mean I look better in person than I do in my pics. If he wasn’t me, then he shouldn’t have approved me, given me his address, AND responded positively to my confirmation. There were plenty of chances to say “don’t come” prior to when I logged off. And the whole discretion thing… Please, discreet bottoms don’t post gangbang ads. Discreet bottoms don’t have public profiles with pics.

I protect the identities of the guys I fuck. The only time I mention a guy’s profile name / stage name is when he’s a porn star or he wants me to, and then I make a point to only say good things about him. A few times guys have told their friends that I fucked them and then the friends have figured out which write-up was about their friend. But that wasn’t me telling making the ID – that was the bottom giving out too many details. But when the guy makes me travel over an hour (round trip) for absolutely nothing – then I don’t really feel the need to (completely) protect his identity. So if discretion and anonymity was TigerBeat’s objective – then his plan backfired. You all now know who stood me up, and now that I’ve linked to it, Google will index his profile.

Ugh! I really hate bad bottoms. Seriously guys – if you’re grinding you ass on guys’ crotches at a bar – make sure you’re clean, and if you invite someone to a gangbang – don’t turn them away when they get there… Where is Miss Manners when we need her?

Load 2013-10

So after giving two loads to the bottom yesterday, I was pretty spent. There was an 18 y.o. who had said he wanted to hookup today, but didn’t hear from him (I’d given him my cell and told him to text me, and I saw him on A4A but he didn’t reply when I messaged him). So I moved on, but I wasn’t completely sure I was up to it. After some encouragement on Twitter to go for it, I took part of an herbal pill and when it started kicking in I looked for a bottom to fuck.

This one guy said he was up in Washington Heights. When I replied that I wasn’t really looking to travel he said he’d come down. Sounded good to me and his pics looked good. Soon he was on his way over.

When he got here he looked really familiar. By the time we were in the bedroom and taking off my clothes I remembered fucking him (it was almost a year ago now, but I didn’t write it up ’cause I was pretty busy back then). He had told me his location before coming over and I was like “oh, I remember walking over to his place when I used to live in Washington Heights.”

He was really submissive and not particularly assertive. I had a hardon ’cause I had been working on porn when he arrived and I was sort of hoping he’d get down and give me a blowjob. But he didn’t figure that out. I probably should have told him to suck me, but if he wasn’t into it then I didn’t really want to go there (he was there to get fucked, not give me a blowjob).

He was responding to my feeling up his hole, so I told him to get on the bed so I could rim him. He had a really nice muscular ass with a slightly hairy hole. He seemed pretty clean, so I gave him a pretty good rimming. But it didn’t last long ’cause I was already hard and figured I’d just move it along to fucking.

I lubed up my dick and stood up. His hole was like 3 or 4 inches above my cock ’cause I have pretty short legs and he had long legs. I push him down and stood on my tippy toes and shoved in. He seemed pretty tight, but also had no problem taking my dick – I love holes like that.

Given the contortions I had to do, that position wasn’t going to last long, so I pushed him forward onto his belly. Then he started bucking up and down a bit. Not too much, but enough to be a bit irritating. I didn’t really want to verbally tell him to stop, and I wondered whether he was doing it because he wanted to be more in contact with me, so I got down lower and put more weight on him. That slowed down the bucking of his torso, but he continued to push up his ass. Ugh. At one point I actually slipped out ’cause he was moving down when I was moving up. After that he seemed to get the idea that moving around so much might be a bad idea and things got much better.

His hole felt pretty good. There was this weird sensation though – it’s hard to describe but it sort of felt like the head of my cock had slipped into a fabric pocket that moved with my dick. Like a little fabric condom was covering just the tip of my dick. I didn’t pay too much attention to it ’cause I didn’t want it to distract me. By that time I could feel the beginning of my orgasm, so I focused on that.

I finally came – I seemed to give him a decent sized load, but since I’d cum twice the day before it wasn’t the biggest load. I then rolled us over and continued to slow fuck his ass. He seemed to really like that – like he didn’t want the fucking to end. After maybe 5 minutes of that my dick finally slipped out of his ass. Actually it was so sudden that it seemed to startle him and possibly hurt him just a little.

He then got up, and I started playing with my dick a little. I looked down and couldn’t see it completely clearly (since I didn’t have glasses or contacts on) but my dick looked a bit brown. Shit… So I got up and followed him to the bathroom and washed off my dick in the sink. I hate shit on my dick, but as they say, “shit happens”…

So a decent fuck except the ending…

Load 2010-7

I’m not doing too well with giving loads this year… It’s the middle April and I’ve only given 7 loads and the last one was 25 days ago… Oh well…

There were actually two hookups since my last post. One of them was with a 6’5″ XXL chub – not sure what in the hell I was thinking but the “neg, safe sex only, versatile top” part of his profile turned me on…

Last night I was looking initially, but didn’t find anything other that stuff downtown and I didn’t want to travel. This morning I got online and wasn’t expecting to find anything, but this guy hit me up on BBRT and was up for coming over. We set a time but he was late getting here, but he did finally arrive – with all these shopping bags. It was 10am in the morning – so it’s not like he’d just come from shopping. When we got to the bedroom he explained that he’d been up all night “partying”… He didn’t seem too messy, but he was a bit messy – sorta a bit hyper.

He kept asking for permission for everything which was a bit cute. He even asked permission to suck my cock, which of course I let him do… When I started feeling his butt it felt either cummy or lubed, couldn’t tell which. I asked him if he had any loads in there and he said “yeah, as many as I can get, until I can’t get fucked anymore.” OK, so he was so tweaked he didn’t understand the question… I gave up and got him on the bed had him suck me a little more and then turned him over and fucked him.

He was so tweaked there was no real connection with him – he was just a hole. He actually had a really nice body – it looked especially good when he was face down on my bed. Wet lube had sent me this huge variety pack of lubes, shaving creams, etc. and so I was trying out some of the old style oil-based lube (I like the fact that it’s not condom compatible)… I was fucking him pretty hard but my dick wasn’t quite getting the stimulation it needed… Not hitting the right places or something. I finally sorta just wore out and stopped for a bit (kept my dick in though)…

After a couple minute breather I dumped a bunch of lube on his ass crack above his hole and went back to fucking him. As I was fucking him I thought that t-shirt you see some guys wearing “Fuck me like you hate me”. I really felt zero emotional connection to the bottom – he was just some messy, tweaked out poz guy who seemed like his life was sorta out of control. Sure he had a nice body, but that just made him a decent piece of meat. Good thing I’m not the type of top who likes to have intimate, romantic sex… This time around I got myself at an angle so my dick had more stimulation and that did the trick – a few minutes later I blew what felt like a huge load in his ass.

I stayed in his ass for a couple minutes as I caught my breath. Usually I cuddle bottoms, but didn’t really feel like it with him so much. I did it a little, but it was sorta half-hearted. Then I pulled my dick out and even with my glasses off I could see that it was literally covered in shit. I hate that. The good part was it happened after I came and somehow none of it got on the sheets or on the towel I had down under his ass.

We went to the bathroom and cleaned up (he asked for permission to take a shower), then we chatted a little as he was leaving… All in all an OK fuck, but if I had pulled my dick out any sooner it wouldn’t have gone so well…

Load 2008-11

About a week ago (the day of the Gay Pride Parade) my boyfriend had gone out to march in the parade. I was mostly over being sick, but didn’t want to push it so I stayed home. I thought maybe I’d take a nap, but figured I’d look and see if I could find someone to fuck. The hairy Italian daddy I’ve fucked a bunch of times before had e-mailed me a day or two before so I e-mailed him back and told him I was available. Like the other times he rushed right over. It’s like he lives to get fucked and take loads – like he’s an easy on-call cumhole. Why there can’t be more bottoms like that, I don’t know.

He comes over and asks if he can clean out a bit more, so I say sure and lay on the bed and start jacking my dick. He comes out and starts giving me a blowjob and then has me take off my clothes. He’s not a very good cocksucker – doesn’t keep his teeth away from my dick. So after a little bit I tell him to sit on my dick. He rides for a bit, but it’s just not doing it for me, so I have him pull off to switch positions I hear a bit of a noise, look down and there’s a wet shitty smear sorta dripping on my leg to the side of my pubes. UGH!!! Once again he’s failed to clean out properly. He apologizes and we both go into the bathroom to clean up. I had my glasses off but I notice there’s water all over the floor. I clean off, come out while he cleans out some more, get a new towel to put over the one that luckily I’d put on the bed and try to get myself back into the mood to fuck. Often a dirty hole just puts me off my game and it doesn’t happen at all.

When he comes back out of the bathroom I figure I’d have him lay on his belly. At least that way gravity will be working in my favor if he’s not clean. I do manage to get hard again and go back to fucking him. I think tops will understand what I mean when I say his hole felt uncomfortably wet – it was wet, but not lubricated. I tried putting a bunch of lube on his ass to improve the sensation and it helped a bit. What he was lacking is anal mucus – he’d washed it all out of his ass, and his ass was so wet it diluted the lube when it was applied.

I kept fucking him, but started wondering whether I’d be able to cum with him. At this point he was a piece of meat to me – a hole to fuck. As long as my dick stayed hard and he didn’t tell me to stop I was going to fuck him however I felt like fucking him. I wasn’t able to cum, but thanks to having taken a pill I was staying plenty hard.

So I fucked him and fucked him and fucked him. I could tell I was sorta wearing him out, but like a good bottom he just laid there and took it. I’m not sure if he enjoyed it or if it was uncomfortable for him – I honestly didn’t really care. The funny part was he kept telling me “You’re the best” which I found a little funny. I wasn’t sure whether that meant he was enjoying himself or whether he was just thinking that stroking my ego would make me cum and it would be over.

Finally his ass started producing mucus again and it started feeling better, and I changed positions a bit so one of my legs was between his and the other outside of his – so I was fucking from a bit of an angle. One way or the other I did finally cum in his ass.

He was worn out as well. He was going to jack off, but then we got to talking and finally he just got up and gathered his things and left. As he was gathering his things he noticed one of his new bottles of poppers was nearly empty and he realized he’s manage to spill the poppers in his car on the way over. That’s gotta make your car smell like shit – not sure how he’s going to explain the smell to his kids if they ask what it is. But he had brought the bag into my apartment and so now my bedroom reeked of poppers.

But the worst part was when I finally went into the bathroom and saw the mess there. He had managed to get shit EVERYWHERE. It was all over the toilet, but it was on the bath mat, and there were small brownish spots on the towels that were hanging on the wall, and all over the walls. It’s like shit-infused water had spattered all over the bathroom. It was disgusting.

It’s really too bad. He’s so eager, so dependable, but not being clean is a reoccurring theme with him. I’m pretty sure what he’s doing is trying to hard – using too  much water with too much force and getting water too far up into his colon. And I don’t think he’s careful enough to sit properly on the toilet – I think he squats and aims (and misses).

So unfortunately I had to bring up the issue with him in e-mail after he left. He’s such a nice guy and he’s going through such a rough time – he’s been unemployed for months and his ex-wife is insisting he pay child support when he has no money – he’s literally worried about becoming homeless. So it was really awkward to tell him he’s failed in yet another thing as simple as cleaning out his ass.

What I need is a bottom as eager, dependable, and available as him who’s squeaky clean every time they show up.

I’ve been bugging my boyfriend to buy a better video camera. Actually we’ve been wanting a better still camera (the 21 megapixel Cannon EOS 5D Mk2), but I convinced him it would make more sense to buy a better video camera since we can make money shooting porn with the video camera, where a new still camera can’t really make us more money. (Of course, it’ll be a while before we actually see a return off the porn and we’ll have to put money up to may models in the meantime, but…) Anyway, I had picked out one I thought would be good and while it was more expensive than the still camera it wasn’t completely crazy expensive. Finally he came around, and decided right before I left for IML that we should get a camera. I spent a day trying to figure out which camera was really best and chose a different one than I had initially though. When I had him review it he wanted the professional version of the camera which was even more expensive. Long story short, we got the video camera he wanted, so we’re on our way to being able to shoot HD porn…

We literally got the camera the night before I left for IML. I spent the plane flight reading the manual and I was hoping I could videotape a few people while I was at IML. But since I hadn’t made any plans, that was easier said than done. However, one guy did say he was up for it, so I had him over. He said he was up for more than fucking and when I told him I was into stuff like flogging, he seemed fine with it.

He arrives and while he wasn’t like his pics (he was bigger and beefier) he was still pretty hot – like a big piece of man meat. He had this big grin on his face which just wouldn’t go away. Since I was videotaping it, I figured I’d do a variety of things and start with stripping him down, restraining him a bit, and having him walk down the hall to get some ice. So there he is lumbering down the hall in a jockstrap and boots with his wrist bound together and it strikes me – OH SHIT – my wallet with the key card is in the room. I’ve just locked us out of the room! There was nothing I could do about it right at that moment, so I wait to tell him until we’re almost all the way back to the room. HotBttmTO had the room next door and we had exchanged key cards, so I knock on his door hoping he’s in, but he’s not. There was nothing I could do at that point except leave the bottom in the hallway and run down to the front desk. Luckily we were on a pretty private side hallway, so it wasn’t much of a spectacle.

At the front desk they tell me they’ll send security up to unlock the door since I didn’t have photo ID on me. When I get up to the room HotBttmTO had just arrived and he let me in (thank god – didn’t really want to deal with security on that one). Luckily the bottom was still all smiles and while that was a hiccup, nothing bad happened.

We get into the room and I hood the bottom and put him against the wall to flog him. We had talked briefly about limits and he said his limit was “no extreme pain”. He had also mentioned that he was a regional title holder for Mr. Drummer some years back, so I figured he had the same definition that I did for “extreme pain”.

I start flogging him (had to use the two floggers I had bought the previous day). Started with the soft thuddy moose one, and then worked up to the cowhide one that’s sorta a low to moderate pain flogger (depending on how you use it). His back was getting nice and red, but he started having problems taking it. A few times he indicated that he was about at his pain limit. I hadn’t even broken out the wire flogger/whip I had used on the bottom last year. That’s painful, but even that’s not quite “extreme pain”. Clearly this guy had a different definition of “extreme pain” than I did.

Since he had pretty much had his limit, I wound that down and put him on the bed. Now I should mention he had a 000 gauge ring in his dick (a Prince Albert). That’s absolutely huge. A 00 gauge ring is the thickest gauge that will fit in my urethra – so he was bigger than that. In addition, he had a big thick copper cockring on – the type that goes down and pushes on your perineum. His dick was all shriveled, which I discovered is his reaction to any type of hitting (flogging, cock and ball whip, etc.)

I play with his body a bit and then his hole and I’m hard so I shove my pierced dick up his hole (I had the curved barbell in my PA). I’m not usually all that into big beefy types, but his hole felt good. He had lubed up and it was all wet and slick. After a little fucking I noticed he wasn’t totally clean, but it wasn’t so bad that I was going to stop. But as I fucked him more it became more of an issue, so I stopped.

I figured I’d videotape him douching. He was still hooded, so I led him into the bathroom, got him situated in the tub and used the shower shot on him. Thing was, I could tell I was putting more water up there than was coming out, so after a while it sorta seemed counter productive.

We went back to the bed and fucked a little more, but like I expected it was now an even sloppier mess up there. My dick goes soft when shit is an issue and all of that sorta put my dick out of commission and stopped the fucking. [And for thoe of you who are critics – no that doesn’t make me a bad top.]

So since I had this big beefy guy tied up on the bed I figured I’d have some fun with him and started playing with his dick and balls. My goal was to edge him and see how much he could take. So I licked his balls and his dick. Didn’t suck his dick – just licked it. He definitely responded and got totally hard. I licked and licked and licked. Looking at the time code on the video I think it went on for about 20 minutes. He was in agony ’cause he wanted to cum, but couldn’t. I gave him permission to cum, but he really needed to be sucked not licked to cum, but what was cool to me about videotaping it was the size of his PA. I tried very briefly to put it in my mouth, but that just wasn’t going to work and I had zero interest in giving him a regular blowjob.

Finally I just gave up getting him to cum and we wound down the scene. When I took off the hood he was in a very different mood than when I had put the hood on. He wasn’t smiling, he was withdrawn and was difficult to read. I kept pushing him to talk and explain what was going on, but he was just shut down. The more I pushed the worse things got. He did mention something about being upset about not being able to cum.

He did show me photo ID and I took a photo of it, but he was reluctant to sign the model release. He took a copy with him “to look at it”. He also said he was a cop and people didn’t know he was into fetish. So frankly I don’t think he’ll ever get it back to me. Lesson learned – have them sign before you start. The weird part was he said it was OK when he started…

After he left I sent him a message. I realized I may have pushed him past his limits and there could have been a point at which the scene started going bad for him. If that was the case, I apologized. He wrote back saying I didn’t do anything wrong. I have two theories of what happened… First, he felt like he failed – between not being able to cum and having a dirty ass maybe he felt like he disappointed me. Second, it’s possible he was high and the drugs wore off. It was such a huge change in mood I sorta suspect that was the case. Or maybe I did do something wrong and he’s just being polite… Who knows? It’s too bad it ended that way though…

Load 2008-57

I looked around late this afternoon for a hole to fuck, but everyone that seemed to want to hookup wanted to hookup late. So I texted the guy I’ve fucked a few times to see if he was available. As expected he was over as quickly as he could get here in less than an hour.

When he got here he went into the bathroom to do one last check to see if he was clean, then he came out and gave me a blowjob. I felt up his ass while he was sucking my cock and it seemed a little “musky”. I just needed to fuck, so I pushed forward…

I had him sit on my dick, but he just sat down and didn’t really move around much and with him all the way down on my dick. It was nice being deep in him – he was this little hairy muscle daddy riding my raw dick, but wasn’t going to be enough to make me cum, so I flipped him on is back and fucked him and came pretty quickly.

Then I kept going in and out until he came… Thing was the “muskiness” had grown and it was clear he wasn’t actually clean. When I pulled out and looked around the towel I had put down had a big dirty spot on it. I went into the bathroom to clean off, but even though I cleaned as well as I could the smell just kept persisting. And on top of everything else, the mess went through the towel and I had to change the sheets…

He did try, but he needed to try a little harder… Ugh… Guess I should have him not rush so much to come over.