I used to be a huge fan of serosorting – the idea that neg guys only fuck with neg guys. Now I see things differently and think it’s completely naive to think serosorting will work except in a few circumstances that don’t apply to most gay guys. A couple things changed in my thinking, but the final nail in the coffin was the Swiss statement that says it’s generally safe to fuck with a poz person who’s got a consistent undetectable viral load and no STDs.

Let’s look at the different general groups…

Negative guys who have limited sex with carefully selected partners and get tested regularly. These guys are probably the most believable when they say they’re negative. But the problem with them is that “carefully selected partners” means they’re probably not going to have casual sex with you. They’ve chosen to put staying neg over having a good sex life.

Negative guys who try hard to serosort – always ask status and time of last test. These guys are the next most likely to be genuinely negative, but who knows if the guys that fuck them are really neg or not… Either they’re not having much sex or they’re using condoms a lot.

“Negative” guys who casually serosort. You’ve seen they type – they’re the ones taking anonymous loads, but have “neg ub2” in their profiles. They barely ask if the guy they’re having sex with is neg, and it’s such a casual request guys feel fine lying to have sex with them. These guys tend to not get tested very regularly, so in a way they’re sorta the highest risk group since they’re taking loads, not getting tested, and barebacking with guys just like themselves.

“Neg” guys who don’t really care about their HIV status. One thing you have to remember when you ask someone if they’re neg and they say yes is whether they care about staying neg. A growing number of guys just don’t care. And if they don’t care about their HIV status, they care even less about yours. If you don’t really get to know the guy and just trust them, you’re being incredibly naive…

Poz guys with undetectable viral loads. According to the Swiss study these guys are actually pretty safe to have sex with.

Poz guys who haven’t started meds. Obviously risky to have sex with, but often people don’t try to differentiate between these guys and the guys with undetectable viral loads and just lump all poz guys into the same category.

“Low risk” poz guys who lie about their status. Usually these guys are bottoms who feel that their lie is somewhat justified by the fact that the risk to the top is generally pretty low, and if they’re undetectable then they feel they really are as low-risk as a neg guy, so they just say they’re neg to “keep things simple” and get more tops to fuck them.

“Don’t ask, don’t tell” poz guys. These guys operate on the concept that your health is your responsibility. If you take a load without asking their status, then you’re OK taking a poz load.

Stealth breeding poz tops. These guys know they’re poz, may have a high viral load, and will do whatever they can to get their poz load in your neg ass including lying when asked about their status. There aren’t many of them out there since what they’re doing is illegal, but there are some.

So the issue is that the guys who are most likely to be negative probably aren’t going to have sex with you. A few will cross your path, but not that many. The guys who are out there having sex are poz guys and high risk neg guys. Even if someone says they’re a total top – can you really believe them? And since people are most infectious right after getting infected themselves “negative” guys who are activey barebacking are really the most dangerous guys to have sex with.

That is the achilles heal of serosorting – that if you serosort you may wind up taking more risk, not less. If one of your tricks turns poz, you’re at far more risk than if you had stuck with poz guys with undetectable viral loads.

When guys realize that it’s safer to have sex with undetectable poz guys is when it gets really complicated. At that point they realize they’re taking poz loads, and serosorting seems pointless, so they often just give up with risk reduction completely.

I know that was sort of the case with me. I was trying to do risk reduction then I realized guys weren’t telling the truth when I asked their status, and if I stuck with “negative” guys who were taking loads from anonymous tops like me, then I was actually having sex with the guys most likely to make me poz. On top of that I like sex and when I stopped worrying about whether the guy was poz or not I started fucking some really great bottoms – since poz guys have fewer inhibitions…

Then there are the guys who realize that they’re rewarding liars and punishing people who tell the truth by saying ‘no’ to poz guys who are upfront about being poz. Yes, this means they take on more risk, but they usually feel that becoming poz is inevitable given what they like to do sexually…

That said serosorting is a decent strategy for a certain type of person. If you’re the type who likes getting to know the guy you’re having sex with, and being romatic, then you’re probably not having sex with a lot of guys to begin with. The fact that you get to know the guys is one of the things that’s vital to effective serosorting. And most of the guys like this have no problem dropping back to condoms if things don’t feel quite right…

Those are the guys who should be serosorting, but I doubt there are many of them reading this blog ’cause I tend to treat bottoms like impersonal fuckholes. Often I don’t really want to get to know the guy. I’m perfectly happy if there’s zero conversation. The bottoms who get into that are either poz or on their way to being poz ’cause you can’t stay neg if you take anonymous loads on a regular basis.

If you like anonymous sex with lots of guys (like I do), then serosorting just won’t work for you. My advice to you is to just accept the risk, get on with things, and enjoy your sex life…  😉

Went to Callen-Lorde today, got tested… Still neg. No big surprise there though there are some of you guys who who seem to just assume I’m poz – I’ve had more than one of you tell me you want my “charged load”. Well, it’s not charged…

I’m not saying I think I’ll stay neg forever (who knows?) – just that I’m OK with the risk, and if I become poz some day I’ll just deal with it. But that day isn’t today.

Load 2008-58

Well, finally a fuck that went the way it was supposed to go… There’s this Latin guy on the Upper West Side – advertises on Craigslist constantly, see him on the hookup sites, etc. He’s been doing it for years – I first fucked him in early 2004 (maybe late 2003). Anyway, he’s the type everyone has fucked – probably multiple times (like me)…

The funny part about this guy is that his Adam4Adam profile says he’s neg… Yeah, right… This is my 58th load this year, it’s probably his 58th load in the last month – all no questions, anonymous fucks…

So, I was still horny after yesterday so when he sends me a message on Adam4Adam I ask him how many loads he has in him and tell him I’m interested. Get gets back to me saying he’s got two in him and asks how quickly can I be over.

Long story short I’m there in like 45 minutes (completely wet ’cause it started raining and I wasn’t expecting it)… He’s on the bed, face down, ass up, like usual (he typically doesn’t look at you until he’s got your load). I rimmed him a bit until I got hard. Unfortunately he had this greasy lube on his hole, but it didn’t taste aweful or anything, but it was enough that I did a pretty superficial job of rimming him.

When I got hard I pushed in, and after a few thrusts pushed him down on the bed and fucked him pretty hard. Last time I fucked him I had a problem cumming, but gave him a good hard fuck. The problem was he didn’t really want a hard fuck – his ass was sore. Same thing this time. He put up with my fuck, but I could tell it was more endurance than pleasure. But the bottom line for him was that he wanted my load. He’s a good bottom and never told me to stop or anything, but I could tell from his grunts and groans and the way he moved around that I was being rough on him.

I started so hard and rough that I actually got to this point where I was pretty much panting. I was starting to lose my energy and I wasn’t close to cumming. So I slowed down a little and got his ass massaging my dick just right and came as soon as I could. I knew he didn’t want to draw it out and I had promised my bf I’d “make it quick”…

As soon as I came I pulled out, he got up and handed me a paper towel, I wiped myself off and left. It was just a pump and dump which is what it usualy is with him. There’s been a couple times when we cuddled for a few minutes afterwards, but not tonight.

As I left the building I was still sorta out of breath from fucking him… But it was a decent fuck, and I needed that.

There was a gangbang I was sorta hoping to get invited to tonight, but another top just texted me and said it was a “fiasco”, so I’m now happy I didn’t get invited…

The other night I met up with a guy I know through the blog. Didn’t fuck him – just went out for drinks. He’s like the third person I know who’s in his 40s, in a 10+ year relationship, who’s a bug chaser. In all three cases the boyfriend has no clue.

I’m wondering if there’s a difference based on age when it comes to bug chasing. He was talking about how younger guys (tweens) just think of barebacking as normal sex. Then there’s a whole group who just don’t want to admit they’re bug chasing when they tested neg and are taking anonymous loads from guys they don’t know. But I think guys in their 40s saw some of the horrors and when they decide to take loads they’re more honest with themselves about the risks and what they’re doing.

Then there’s the whole relationship angle… Needless to say that’s a bit complicated, and interesting as well…

Load 2008-57

I looked around late this afternoon for a hole to fuck, but everyone that seemed to want to hookup wanted to hookup late. So I texted the guy I’ve fucked a few times to see if he was available. As expected he was over as quickly as he could get here in less than an hour.

When he got here he went into the bathroom to do one last check to see if he was clean, then he came out and gave me a blowjob. I felt up his ass while he was sucking my cock and it seemed a little “musky”. I just needed to fuck, so I pushed forward…

I had him sit on my dick, but he just sat down and didn’t really move around much and with him all the way down on my dick. It was nice being deep in him – he was this little hairy muscle daddy riding my raw dick, but wasn’t going to be enough to make me cum, so I flipped him on is back and fucked him and came pretty quickly.

Then I kept going in and out until he came… Thing was the “muskiness” had grown and it was clear he wasn’t actually clean. When I pulled out and looked around the towel I had put down had a big dirty spot on it. I went into the bathroom to clean off, but even though I cleaned as well as I could the smell just kept persisting. And on top of everything else, the mess went through the towel and I had to change the sheets…

He did try, but he needed to try a little harder… Ugh… Guess I should have him not rush so much to come over.

Well, I’m back to being horny and wanting to hookup. Started last night, but I had other things to do last night, so tonight I was looking, but for some reason there weren’t a lot of options (I even looked on Manhunt). Finally this Brazilian guy from Adam4Adam who lived just over the Bridge in New Jersey said he’d come over… He didn’t have a fave pic in his profile, but asked for my e-mail address and said he’d send one. Thing was, I didn’t get it even though he said he had sent it.

He called and then came over. When he arrived I knew there was going to be a problem. Let’d just say he was short and Latin, but I wasn’t into him. His profile said he ws 38. I’d add about 10 years to that and he wasn’t aging all that well… I had him come in, showed him into the bedroom. We took off our clothes then I realized he was a smoker (who wanted to kiss)…

After a while, he sucked my dick a bit, but I wasn’t responding. I hadn’t taken a pill or anything ’cause I didn’t think I needed to ’cause I was pretty horny. But this guy just wasn’t doing anything for me. I figured I’d try to eat his ass to see if that would help. I went down only to find it didn’t smell all that clean. I sorta played at rimming, not wanting to get too serious if his hole was dirty…

I put a fair amount of spit on his hole, stood up and tried to fuck him. He said to go slow, but I just wasn’t getting in… So we went back to other stuff like him sucking my dick. Then we tried again and again I just wasn’t getting in. I wasn’t totally hard, but I was hard enough. So I fingered his hole and found he was incredibly tight. I think he was clenching, but who knows… Then as I was fingering him I felt shit up there…

That was the end of it. I said I didn’t think it was going to work and went into the bathroom to clean the lube off my dick. The had no intention of getting fucked. He didn’t clean out and he was clenching. And on top of that he didn’t do anything for me…

Hopefully I’ll find some decent ass tomorrow to make up for it…  😉   At least I wasn’t the one who had to pay the bridge toll…