I had meant to get an HIV test back in early January, but then kept putting off the doctor’s appointment ’cause he wanted me to get an echocardiogram and I didn’t have time to go get it. And with not having much sex, I wasn’t getting STDs, so wasn’t going into the doc otherwise – so it got delayed. January would have been a year since my last test, and I like to get a test at least every year, so I was almost at 15 months and I was overdue for the test. I was about to put off the appointment again (’cause I still hadn’t gotten the echo), but figured I’d go in, if for no other reason to get an HIV test.

My doctor is at Callen Lorde – which started out many years ago as a community health clinic / STD clinic at the gay and lesbian community center. When I told him I wanted an HIV test he hesitated saying he didn’t know if they had a testing person on duty. I told him I really preferred if he did the test (’cause I hate rehashing everything the counselor du jour), but he said Callen Lorde only has HIV testing counselors do HIV tests. I made some comment about how that seemed silly since doctors should be just as able to do the test. He said that while he does a pretty good job telling people they’re poz, HIV testing counselors are the best people to deliver that news. But he also said that Callen Lorde receives funding from the City for the tests. The tests are free but the deal is that the City-funded counselor does all tests.

So if any of you are in NYC and want a VERY gay friendly place to get tested, call Callen Lorde for an appointment. It won’t cost you a dime and the counseling isn’t too intrusive or hostile to barebackers. Last time I got tested I sorta cut the counseling part short by saying I’ve been getting tested for 20 years and just wanted the test. This time, knowing counseling is part of their deal with the City of New York, I put up with the counseling, but did say things like “I’m comfortable with my level of risk” to shorten the discussion and get on with the test.

One thing I should mention is that the tests at Callen Lorde are confidential, but not anonymous. If you test poz they do report that to the State of New York (as required by law). The only place to get an anonymous test that isn’t reported is at a City-run testing clinic. But you can’t make an appointment and you’ll wait for HOURS for the test.

It was sorta funny – going into the test I wasn’t nervous. But the pin prick in my finger sent a shot of pain up through my arm (may have hit a nerve or something), and then I was pretty nervous for the 15 minutes I had to wait for the results. But the test came back negative. So to those of you who always seem to think I’m poz or will be poz at my next test… You’re wrong again.  🙂

Anyway, if you read this blog regularly (or spend much time on my bb forum site – Breeding Zone) you’ll know I’m a bit indifferent to guys becoming poz. But I am a huge advocate of getting tested and knowing your status. I urge all of you to get tested every 6 to 12 months and never let it go more than 2 years. You’re MUCH more likely to die of HIV if you don’t get treated within 2 years of being infected. Early detection and timely treatment is the key to living a long time with HIV. Don’t put it off – make an appointment for a test at Callen Lorde – it’s just 15 minutes of anxiety and it won’t cost you anything. They also have a drop in clinic on Saturday mornings – no appointment necessary.

Know your status!

For a while now I’ve wondered if I was immune or resistent to HIV. And if I was either, I thought it wasn’t exactly “right” to be advocating bareback sex and encouraging others to take risks when I wasn’t taking all that much risk myself. Well, that’s not the case. I got a comprehensive genetic profile done at 23andme.com and I’m just as much at risk as the rest of you…

CCR5 Mutation & Resistance/Immunity to HIV

The most well known genetic mutation that’s related to HIV is CCR5. If you have one mutation (“DI” below) you’re considered “resistant”, if you have a double mutation (“DD” below) you’re “immune”. These mutations are apparently the result of your ancestors surviving Small Pox epidemics hundreds of years ago. Apparently, 10% of people of European ancestry are DI and 1% are DD.

The table below uses more strict definitions of “resistant” and doesn’t use “immune” at all. What people typically call “immune” just means immune from most forms of HIV, not all – total immunity doesn’t exist. 23AndMe calls that “resistant”. And what people typically call “resistant” just means HIV has to work harder to infect you because it has fewer places to attach to in your body. If you’re DI (single mutation), then HIV also can’t replicate as easily and you’ll naturally have a lower viral load if you get infected and that means you’re more likely to be a long-term survivor.

As you can see I’m “II” which means I’m not immune or resistant. I’m just as susceptible to HIV as most people. Which means the only reason I’ve stayed neg this long is because I’m a top and tops are at much lower risk than bottoms.

Honestly I was sorta hoping for DI – a single mutation. I thought it would be asking too much to be fully immune, but I would have been completely happy being a long-term non-progressor. I’m not a big fan of pharmaceuticals. They do great things and I take them when I must, but I’d rather not take them if I have the option. If I had been DI that would have let me stay off meds for many years after becoming poz.

The other thing is I’ve always seemed to be “top 10%” in a lot of things in life – at least the ones I cared about. But genetics isn’t very forgiving in that respect. You can’t work hard and achieve a better genetic profile. You just are what you are. In this respect I’m not top 10% – I’m just average. It was actually a bit of a bummer to find that out.

“Controller” of HIV & Disease Progression

One thing I found out from the genetic test is that there are more genes than CCR5 that affect HIV. There are others control whether your body is naturally able to control your viral load. The first controller genome is rs5968255, but I’ll gloss over it here because it only seems to benefit women – there’s no correlation for men.

Emerging research which was published in Science in November of last year, says there are two other genomes that affect whether your body can control HIV once you’re infected – rs9264942 and rs2523608 (boring names, I know…) – rs9264942 is related to HIV control in people of European ancestry, rs2523608 is related to HIV control in African-Americans.

For people of European descent every “C” in rs9264942 makes you 2.9 times more likely to be a “controller”. I’m “CT” so that means I’m 2.9 times more likely to be able to control HIV than an average person. If I had been CC I would have been 8.4 times more likely to be able to control HIV than the average person. It doesn’t mean I’ll be able to control HIV viral loads – it’s statistics – I’m just more likely to be able to control HIV. Given that I didn’t have a CCR5 mutation, I’ll take any good news I can get.

Unfortunately, rs2523608 isn’t one of the 900,000+ genomes 23AndMe maps. So if you’re black, getting the 23AndMe test done won’t tell you anything about your ability to control HIV. However, if you do find a way to get the results, each G makes you 2.6 times more likely to be an HIV controller. I have a black poz fuck bud who swears he’s undetectable despite not taking his meds – all I can think is that he must be GG on rs2523608.

I also don’t see any discussion on 23AndMe of the gene that’s supposed to make blacks 40% more likely to catch HIV.

So what does all of this mean?

For me it means I’m just as much at risk as most of you, but the silver lining is there’s a chance my body might be able to control HIV if I become poz – but that chance is far from a guarantee.

If you’re one of the “worried well” who are neg but feel drawn to barebacking you might want to get the test to understand your risks better. If you’re DD on CCR5 then you can sorta relax – your risk is truly minimal. If you’re DI on CCR5, or CC on rs9264942, or GG on rs2523608 then if you become poz then chances are being poz won’t be a huge problem and you’ll do fine with no or minimal medication. If you just have one C on rs9264942 (like me) then at least you’re “above average”. But in all those scenarios there are no guarantees. There are forms of HIV that can even get around a DD CCR5 mutation.

If you’re already poz you may want to get the test to understand whether your body can possibly fight HIV on it’s own. A lot of doctors rush poz guys onto meds immediately after infection. If you’re DI on CCR5, or CC on rs9264942, or GG on rs2523608 then that was probably a bad decision on the part of your doctor. In those cases the doctor should wait and see if your body can control HIV naturally. For those people the drugs you take may do worse things to your body than HIV. Now, if you stayed off meds for a while and it was clear your body couldn’t control HIV, then taking the tests is probably pointless – you already know your body’s response to HIV.

I’m a huge believer in data – the more you know the better decisions you can make. If you’re interested in getting a test from 23AndMe, realize they run sales. I got mine for $99 (for the test) + $65 (for a 1 year web membership) + shipping – so about $170. The prices are about $100 higher now.

Other results from the genetic tests…

The test is about a lot more than HIV. 23AndMe maps over 900,000 genomes. I was really glad I did the test because I found out I’ve got a 37% chance of prostate cancer. I’ve got 4 sisters and no brothers. My dad had 5 sisters and no brothers and my mom only had 1 brother (that survived to adulthood). So there aren’t enough men in my family for me to know I was at risk of prostate cancer. Now I know I have to get tested regularly for it.

I should mention that 23AndMe is backed by Google and some really big names in biotech. They’re definitely a reputable company. However, certain states (including New York) have outlawed direct-to-consumer genetic profiling. Their thinking is that these tests should only be performed and interpreted by doctors. As a result I wasn’t able to use the test kit in New York – I took it with me on a trip to Philadelphia, spit into the test tube and mailed it there. So if you’re in NYC and want to do this, realize that at a minimum you need to take a ride on the PATH over to Jersey to take and mail the test.

Honestly, I can sorta see why some people don’t want consumers interpreting genetic tests. For example, I have a much higher risk of Celiac Disease than the average person – I’m 6.55 times more likely to get it. However, even at that much higher risk, there’s still less than a 1% chance that I’ll get Celiac Disease. If I didn’t have a background in statistics I might misinterpret that result and start worrying about Celiac Disease. As it is, I haven’t even looked it up to figure out what it is.

Sorry for getting this out so late – I’ve been pretty sick the past few days. (No, not what you’re thinking… Just a wiked sinus cold.) And before that I was swamped with work.

So the  “Canadian Sub” (the “winner” of the 32 load gangbang) spent the night Saturday night after the gangbang. I had to talk him into it. He seems to have “boundary” issues and was falling for me just hours after meeting me (lol). I just wanted someone to sleep with so when I woke up in the middle of the night I’d have a good cummy hole to fuck. (And I liked him). He was pretty wired and I was pretty tired. We stayed up talking, but about 3am or so I drifted off to sleep. Not sure how much sleep he got. It was nice having him around though. He was nice to cuddle up with and fuck. I think I woke up at one point and we fucked then drifted off to sleep again. Finally we got up around 8. He said good bye and went back to his room.

I don’t do particularly well on 5 hours of sleep. PortaUrinal and I went to breakfast at Union Station, but it was clear it was going to be a slow relaxed day – I just wasn’t up for much of anything else. And taking it easy was one of my goals for the weekend anyway.

Organizing for the gangbang was a bit of an issue… I had moved one of the bottoms to the Saturday gangbang, so I asked Canadian Sub whether he would be the other bottom for the Sunday gangbang – he said ‘sure’. Then the main bottom dropped out saying he wasn’t feeling well, so I needed to come up with another bottom. I knew it wasn’t going to be as big of a gangbang, but I preferred having two bottoms.

Then this 22 year old hit me up on BBRT. I asked if he wanted to bottom for the gangbang and he said he’d be into it. He was the wild card – I was just hoping he’d show up. His status said “Don’t Care” – I was sorta wondering what his story was…

That afternoon I flogged this guy (interesting story – he used to be involved with IML before they went anti-bareback). After flogging him we were laying in bed cuddling and talking and the 22 y.o. texted me and said he wanted to come over. It was more than an hour before the gangbang, but I figured it was better to get him in the room early than not have him show up.

He arrived and the flogging bottom left. He was this sweet, slightly awkward kid. He liked to talk and told me all sorts of stuff. Turns out he was sharing a room with two guys – one poz and the other a pretty serious bug chaser. He hadn’t been tested since the previous summer and didn’t really know his status. After talking to him I wondered how much he really got fucked. He said he had gotten fucked earlier that day, but before that the last time was a month ago. He was clearly was not the typical cumdump who you find bottoming at a bareback gang bang.

I had him check that he was cleaned out properly and we talked some more… He talked about how his parents had opted him out of sex ed in school and I wondered if that was one of the reasons why he had no fear about being a gangbang bottom… He lived in a relatively small town and I think mostly he just got fucked by straight and bisexual guys who needed a hole to cream. He seemed to see sex as a purely physical act (not emotional). Still, he was more than old enough to know what he was doing…

Canadian Sub and PortaUrinal showed up just before the start time. It was a different mix of guys and the vibe was different. Being Sunday it was also just a slower, more relaxed day in general. The blindfolds had worked really well the day before and both the bottoms wanted to be blindfolded, so that was good thing… It helps them concentrate on the dick.

The first top came in and started with Canadian Sub. I figured I would give the kid some dick so he didn’t feel left out. It was good I did – he was TIGHT. I started thinking he may not have gotten fucked earlier in the day – it may have just been a story (you never really know). It took me a while to get in and he was in a bit of pain, but I just held my dick in there till he got adjusted. He needed to be able to take my dick or else he wouldn’t be able to take all the other cock he was going to get. I’d be (sorta) gentle with him. Other tops not so much…

I swapped places with the other top and kept going back and forth between the bottoms for a good 30 or 40 minutes, maybe more… It was sorta fun, but I never did cum.

Then SFVersCumBoy and his boyfriend showed up. SFVersCumBoy is usually a bottom, but as his name implies, there are times he tops. He fucked the kid and his boyfriend fucked Canadian Sub. He gave the kid the BIGGEST load – he hadn’t cum in a week! That was a very good way to get the kid started – his hole was now completely filled with poz (undetectable) cum.

In general the tops were a lot more attractive than they were for the Saturday gangbang – especially early on. Attractiveness of tops is something I struggle with when I organize gangbangs. Sometimes not-so-hot guys can be great tops, and sometimes the bottoms don’t care – they just want the load, but where do you draw the line? At Saturday’s gangbang I wasn’t really comfortable with some of the guys and I didn’t know what the point was that I should ask them to leave. That wasn’t really much of an issue until the end of the Sunday gang bang.

After the kid had 5 or 6 loads in him, my buddy Brad Ramsey showed up. He’s got a THICK cock. After fucking Canadian Sub for a bit he tried fucking the kid. But the kid just couldn’t take Brad’s dick. Brad was patient and kept trying, but the kid was just in excruciating pain, so Brad finally gave up and went back to Canadian Sub and gave him the load.

A fuck or two later I was sitting across the room in a chair watching this hot guy pound away at the kid’s ass. He had the kid flat on his belly and it was a very hot scene. But after he got done the kid sorta curled up in a ball. I’m not sure what happened, but it was over for the kid after that. He said his hole really hurt and he couldn’t take any more. He was literally trembling. I just held him and didn’t push it. I was hoping it was temporary and that he’d get over it, but I realized after a few minutes for whatever reason that was it for him. So I showed him to the bathroom and gave him his clothes.

All in all the kid got 7 loads from 6 guys plus one oral load. Of course the one from SFVersCumBoy was huge and probably counted for several loads. He was counting dicks and thought he had taken 14 or 15 loads. Thing was people like me fucked him multiple times and others were going between the bottoms and then only one would get the load.

The gangbang continued with just Canadian Sub. In the end he racked up 11 loads. So he got 29 between the two gangbangs. Plus he had 8 other loads (4 Friday, 2 Saturday, 2 Sunday), so that means he had a 37 load weekend with 20 on Saturday alone – not bad.

PortaUrinal did pretty well – 10 loads of piss… He totalled 41 loads of piss for the weekend (24 of which were at my gangbangs). He wrote up a post on Breeding Zone raving about the weekend. Glad I could help him have fun – he’s a good guy.

Afterwards the Canadian Sub and I went down to the lobby to have dinner and a beer at the bar. I introduced him to some of the guys who fucked him. “This is Brad, he’s the one with the really thick dick…” It was sorta funny – people knew who he was, but he didn’t know who they were even though their loads were in his ass.  lol

We called it an early night and went back up to my room and he slept over again. I got more sleep this time, but I was still almost dangerously tired driving back to New York the next day (just the last half hour or so of the drive). Canadian Sub is a “grower”, not a “shower” and he had been soft (and really small) the entire time he was with me. I like a bottom with a little dick, but at one point Monday morning I collared him told him I wanted to own him and have him be my boy. He instantly popped a pretty respectable boner. After two gangbangs and 37 loads – that’s what he really wanted – a master to own him… Unfortunately, I can only fulfill that role one or two weekends a year. But it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want more from him if the circumstances were different.

I texted with the kid a few days later – he was apologetic for not lasting longer. Said his hole was sore the next day but he wants to do another gangbang. I think he’s caught the bareback gangbang bug, so to speak.

Sorry I’m just now getting to the write up of Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL)… Over the weekend I was either incredibly busy or really tired, then when I came back I had to spend a day dealing with some legal shit. Then I had a busy/frustrating day, etc… You get the idea.

So I drove down to DC with @rjinny and @nycivyfreak this past Friday and we got in at 1:30. First thing I learned is that the diehard guys get in on Thursday… Note to self – go down on Thursday next year… I had actually made plans to fuck and film two guys in the afternoon, but I got busy with other stuff and let the plans fell through (my fault).

I should backup and say it had been almost a month and a half (43 days) since I’d last fucked anyone. I just hadn’t really been in the mood. Life was busy and stressful, and then just before I went to MAL I came down with a small cold that only cleared a day or so before I left. One of my goals for the weekend was to just relax and take it easy. It wasn’t really bothering me all that much that I wasn’t busy fucking guys. I just needed down time. Friday turned out to be the mellow day…

@PortaUrinal stopped by with a CASE of beer for me… I had invited him to be the urinal at the gangbangs I had planned and he wanted to be well stocked. The thing with piss bottoms is they may buy you beer, but they want it back when you’re done with it 🙂

The two of us went downstairs to the leather mart where I looked for a few things… First blindfolds for the gangbangs, and second a better flogger. I knew Janette Heartwood would be there. Her floggers are incredible and I wanted to pick one out while she still had the best selection. I have a soft, thuddy moose flogger I got from here a while back as well as a cowhide one from Master André in Montréal. I’ve always liked Janette’s slightly better and a friend had told me many years ago that hers were the best you could buy. Anyway, bottoms had been complaining that my floggers weren’t painful enough, so my goal was to buy a more painful one so I bought a oil tanned flogger from her (she only had one – it’s good I got there early). It’s a nice addition to my collection and it’s a bit longer, which adds even more punch when it hits the bottom…

While we were standing there a guy saw me getting flogged by Janette and started talking to PortaUrinal. The guy was this skinny guy and he was hoping I was a bottom and could take his 10+ inch dick. lol

We also looked at puppy tails but I wasn’t up for spending $90 for a puppy tail when I didn’t have a puppy to use it on…  🙁

I then went back to my room and Jayson Park came over. By this point I was really mellow and relaxed. I wasn’t really up for a proper fuck, but having Jayson in the room, it was impossible not to fuck him. So we did a little fucking but nothing too serious (and I didn’t cum).

PortaUrinal then came over to drain my bladder (my piss was pretty bad that day, but he managed). Then he talked me into going downstairs to the bar to have more beer. I was trying to hurry to get ready to go downstairs and in the process managed to catch my dick in my zipper (ouch!) and I actually drew blood in the process. So that meant I wasn’t going to be fucking anyone for the rest of the night (not that I was in the mood to do it anyway).

While we were down there we ran into SFVersCumBoy. I sorta recognized his beard and stopped him and asked if he was from San Francisco. When he was, I introduced myself. We spent the rest of the night talking. PortaUrinal was plying us with beer and getting our piss loads in return.

When the bar closed up at 2am we went up to the room with SFVersCumBoy, his boyfriend and some of his friends. They left the door open and at one point this guy wandered in and after a bit pulled out his cock. He was uncut with a lot of foreskin. SFVersCumBoy said he preferred less foreskin. I was drunk so I pulled out my dick and showed him my sloppy circumcision that sometimes looks like it’s uncut. Of course he started sucking my dick (in front of everyone). Thing was, I was wasted so I didn’t even get hard.

I had had 5 cans of beer and 3 pints… I blame the excess on PortaUrinal, he blames it on me… Truth was that we both enabled each other. My mellow mood meant my guard was down and I wasn’t policing myself like I should have (and I paid for it the next day).

Eventually enough was enough so PortaUrinal and I stumbled back to our rooms and tried to sleep it off…

I was updating my spreadsheet of fucks for the new year and thought I’d do a year end wrap up for 2010… Here are my stats for the past 5 years. (Yes, I’ve been keeping a spreadsheet for that long)…

As you can see 2008 was my best year, and 2010 was pretty much the same as 2009 – 51 hookups (about 1 a week). I fucked 33 guys I hadn’t fucked before (almost identical to 2009’s 34 new holes). I gave 39 loads which is an improvement over 2009, and 26 of those loads were in guys I hadn’t cum in before which was a big improvement over 2009’s 16 new loads.

I can sorta tell 2011 will be more of the same – possibly lower. I’ve got a big project this year that’s going to keep me really busy starting in March. We’ll have to see how I can fit sex into that…

Mind you, that’s not all that impressive – I know that… I’ve got fuck buds who take over 200 loads in a year… My 39 loads given isn’t all that hot, but it is what it is…

If you’re going to MAL, here are a few suggestions…

Rooms

I thought it would be cool if I started a room block for barebackers. Yeah, I know there’s going to be barebacking going on everywhere, but I thought it would be cool if a lot of the “take all loads” bottoms were on one floor – sorta be the starting point when you’re looking for sex… Unfortunately the room block is based on my name and I’m not giving my name out here. If I know you well already, contact me and I’ll give you the details.

I will say we’re blocked into rooms on the 6th floor, so when you check in, ask to be on the 6th floor. However, the manager could override things and move us to another floor. When I check in early Friday afternoon I’ll tweet my room number. So if you’ve got a smart phone check my tweets before you check in to confirm the floor.

Post your availability in the MAL Forum on Breeding Zone

Last year I set up a forum on Breeding Zone for IML. Breeding Zone was pretty new back then and not many people posted. Well, there’s a lot more of you on Breeding Zone now so I’m hoping the MAL forum I just set up with get more activity… It’s great for cum dumps – just post your room number and the fact that you’re looking and have guys stop by. But it can also be good for tops too… And obviously, those of you who are hosting gangbangs and sex parties should post.

Any threads you start will get tweeted on @MALbareback. So it’s good to post a thread of general availability, but also post new threads when you’re literally in your room wanting guys to stop by right then. Also think about the fact that the title of your thread is what gets tweeted, so definitely put your room number in the title and if you have a Twitter account, put that too… So something like “@PortaUrinal available for piss loads in room 1234” would be a good title – then you’d go into more detail in the post.

Follow @MALbareback on Twitter

As I mentioned, everything in the MAL forum will get tweeted on @MALbareback (within 30 minutes). I’ll also retweet anything else I come across as I have a chance. So mention @MALbareback in your tweets so I see your post. I’ll monitor the #MAL hash tag, but won’t see things posted that way quite as quickly…