Load 2012-47

There’s another couple hookups I have to write up from Wednesday, but let me tell you what happened last night…

Yesterday I woke up with a hardon that wouldn’t go away. I had taken a Cialis the day before and as typical Cialis seems to give me the biggest boners the next day. I couldn’t hookup until the afternoon but when I looked in the afternoon no one was available. Around 5 or so there was suddenly a flurry of guys who wanted to hookup. I’ve learned in the past you go with whoever commits first. (A bird in the hand, is better than 2 in the bush).

My bird in the hand was a mixed race guy with a stocky build. Of course just after I told him to come over this smooth, young, muscular blatino guy wanted to come over… But that was just too bad…

I’ve been paying a little more attention to Adam4Adam lately. There’s a lot of guys on there who say “Neg, Safe Sex Only” and then tell me they have no problem barebacking. My mixed race guy was one of those. When I asked about bareback he said “Yes, you’re neg, I am.” Thing was, he didn’t actually ask me my status. He was going off my stated status on my profile and we all know how accurate those are.

Around the time I was telling him to come over I was noticing the raging hardon I had all day wasn’t there anymore. That concerned me a bit… But more about that later…

So he shows up, he’s stockier/beefier than I usually hookup with, but still attractive. Even though he’s mixed race, he looks black (it feels like I’m fucking a lot of black guys lately). Then I notice he’s nearly fully hard and not even touching himself, while I’m completely soft. Ugh… I really didn’t want to have to deal with my dick not cooperating…

He immediately gets on his knees to suck my dick, and I let him for suck for a little bit. But I knew that was going to go anywhere, so told him I wanted to rim him. He gets on his back and throws his legs in the air and I dive in. I couldn’t quite tell how clean he was, so I didn’t really suck on his hole. It was more of a “polite” rimming.

That got me to about 80% hard, so I got up, lubed my dick and started fucking him figuring I’d get fully hard as I fucked him (it usually works). But the problems I’ve had with beefy guys in the past came into play. It was hard to find a position that rubbed my dick the right way. The best position I could find (him on his belly, legs together), just wasn’t doing it – I couldn’t get in deep enough.

I give him the best fuck I can manage and when I get worn out I stop and we roll on our sides and I continue pushing in and out of his ass. But it turns out he’d rather suck my dick, so he pulls off me and cleans off my dick and continues sucking. (That answered my question about whether he was clean or not). He sucked and sucked and sucked. I realized he was a very oral bottom. I ranged between about 40% hard and 80% hard – the dick wasn’t really cooperating, but he didn’t seem to mind too much. At one point he licked my balls and my taint while I jacked my dick. That got me pretty hard…

Finally I told him I wanted to rim him some more. This time I did a better job rimming him, but just didn’t get hard enough to fuck. I was just about to give up and call it a night, but he got me on my back and started sucking my dick again. Then he had a stroke of genius – he decided to 69 me – me rimming him, him sucking me.

I went to town on his hole now that I knew it was clean. I really started sucking on it. After a few minutes of sucking ass the coolest thing happened – his ass lips started to get puffy and prolapse a bit. I think that’s the right term – basically they started extending out and actually got a bit hard. I’ve never had sex with a woman, and know almost nothing about female anatomy, but I’ve always heard the clitoris is a bit like a little dick. That’s sort of what his prolapsing hole became – it was actually a bit hard – it was like I was sucking on a really small dick – only it was his ass. I’ve never really experienced that with anyone else – it was sort of weird. It was totally cool and a huge turn on (I’m getting hard thinking about it).

Needless to say my dick responded and after a bit I realized he was choking on my dick as he tried to deepthroat it. I let him have some fun for a bit and then said I wanted to fuck. I put him on his belly, legs together and start fucking him. There still wasn’t a lot of sensation, but my dick was harder and hence longer, and so I was going deeper. There was just enough sensation – especially when I did longer strokes and fucked him harder. So fuck harder is exactly what I did. My mind went to him assuming I was neg ’cause my profile said I was neg and then to the flu-like illness I just had a few weeks ago. While it probably wasn’t fuck flu, I can’t rule that out. It was sort of hot thinking I could be blowing a toxic load in his hole. With all that going through my mind I didn’t cum quickly, but eventually I did feel the load building up and I was able to blow in his hole. Not the biggest load (since I’d cum the day before), but big enough to do the job. 😉

After I came he wanted me to stay inside him while he jacked off. It took quite a while for him to cum, but he did eventually cum. As he came his hole tightened up and pushed out my semi-hard cock.

As we lay next to each other we got to talking – and he was quite the talker – he sorta had verbal diarrhea. But what he was saying was pretty interesting and relevant to my experience living in Harlem (he grew up in a similar neighborhood and was telling me stories about what it was like as a black man to grow up in a place like that). Eventually things needed to wrap up, so I turned on the light, and then started getting dressed while I continued to listen to him. He got the hint and got dressed himself, and that was the end of things.

So this is one hookup where I was glad to not be with a submissive bottom. If he hadn’t worked and been so insistent about keeping things going I probably wouldn’t have cum and I definitely wouldn’t have figured out the joys of a slightly prolapsed hole. 🙂

For the past week or two now I’ve been weighing 220.x – it’s been oddly consistent. Every now and then I’d get down to 219.8, but that’s pretty much 220. Well today I came in at 219.2 – which I’m hoping is signaling I’m over my plateau and going down again.

When I feel my body, and look in the mirror I notice a difference from how I used to be (see pictures from July – and that wasn’t even me at my heaviest). I feel a lot lighter and not so much like a bear. BUT, when I take photos of myself the camera’s not so kind – and I’m clearly still a bear (see pic to right).

I remember this weight range well. For many years I wasn’t sure whether I was a bear or just stocky. It’s even more of a question when I get down around 210.

My clothes are starting to be really baggy – they’re completely unflattering. If it were the ’90s and baggy were in it wouldn’t be so bad. But I don’t want to buy too many new clothes since I’m still losing weight.

I’ve got a long ways to go. I wanna get down to 190 or 180. But even this amount of weight loss (34 lbs) feels good – even if I still look heavy in picture, I know I’m so much lighter than I was. And it’ll be great when I get down to 210 and am genuinely stocky, not a bear…

Little steps on a long path… 🙂

Load 2012-45

I had sort of a weird hookup today… It had been 4 weeks since I’d seeded a new hole, so this guy hit me up on Adam4Adam and said he was cleaned out and ready to travel. He seemed hot enough, so I said come over. When he got here he was pretty femmy – I can deal with that (if they don’t talk too much), but the bigger problem was the cloud of cologne that followed him everywhere he went. I was hoping it would come off with his clothes, but…

So anyway, after I closed the blinds he got on his knees and started sucking me. I started pulling off his clothes – first his shirt… Then he sucked me some more. I was getting about half hard with the blowjob – which is good for me since they’re not really my thing. Finally I get him to take off this shorts and underwear and I tell him I want to rim him. He gets on all fours on the bed and he’s got a decent hole…

I get hard enough to fuck from the rimming so I get up, get some lube and shove in his hole. I push him down on his belly pretty quickly and that’s when the problems started. Every time I do an upstroke he’d lift his ass. Bottoms – let’s have a physics lesson… The point of fucking is for the top to pull his dick in and out of your hole. When you push back his dick doesn’t move in your hole – that’s not fucking – that’s two bodies moving around with a dick up one of the guy’s ass.

I tried putting my legs on his legs to basically pin him to the bed and he still managed to push up when I was on an upstroke. I told him to stop squirming. I tried a few more variations to keep him still, then I told him to stop moving. Then I kept trying to physically prevent him from moving. Finally I just blew up at him. I barked pretty loudly “Would you stop moving and just lay there? God, how many times do I have to tell you.” It completely changed the tone of the fuck. Fems typically like to have pretty “romantic” fucks with “their man” (of the moment). But after I barked at him, it was clear – he was just my hole of the moment. The romance was gone.

Meanwhile I managed to overheat. My dick was pretty quickly losing it’s steam and I was sweating up a storm. If he had just been a good bottom he would have had my load by that point, but no… I have him suck my dick a bit (which amounted to ATM where he cleaned it off – not that it was dirty, but…) I tried to fuck him, but things were just not working…

So I did what I always do in situations like that – I rimmed him some more… This time I rimmed him legs up and it was actually much better than on all fours. Made me think I should do it that way more often. It was just easier to get to his hole and his hole was more open – all in all a pretty good experience.

A few minutes of that and I was cooler and harder, so we went back to fucking. This time he was a compliant piece of meat. I put him on his belly, with his legs together – the position that had the most promise in my previous experiments. It was a little difficult to get things “just right” but eventually I got my groove and was able to give him a load.

We laid there a little bit and I caressed him while he jacked off. I think it gave him a little bit of the tenderness and romance he wanted, but as soon as he had cum he clearly wanted out of there. Since I was sweaty I rinsed off with a shower quickly and by the time I was out he was dressed and ready to go. I threw on my boxers and jeans and put on my shirt as I walked him to the front door.

Honestly, I don’t think either of us want a repeat, but at least I was able to seed a new hole.

UPDATE:

Later that night the bottom texted me telling me I was “amazing”. LOL. Guess the moral of the story is even pushy controlling bottoms like to be dominated.

Long story, but in the past I mentioned that I got my 0 gauge ring into my PA. Problem was I did something I knew was a no-no – I slept in it. Because I sleep on my belly that means my ring got in some awkward positions over night and got irritated. Ultimately the ring had to come up and I had to wait a week or so for the inflammation to go down. Then I had to start all over.

In the meantime I ordered a 0 gauge curved barbell that I can sleep in. But I found one where you could get a really big 1″ ball to put on the end of it. It’s fuckin’ heavy and really tugs at your dick. Needless to say you can’t forget your wearing it when you walk down the street and it’s banging against your leg.

For sleeping I put in a much smaller ball – the big ball would be a problem at night.

It turns out what I thought was a 0 gauge ring (the circular barbell that caused the problems earlier) is actually thicker than 0 gauge. It’ll be a little while before I put it back in. I’ll let my PA hole adjust to this one first. Even with this one I have to be careful.

I haven’t fucked with the ball yet, but I’m looking forward to it. It should be fun for the bottom as well – feeling that big ball bang around on the inside of their ass… They’ll definitely feel it when I pull out – it’s gonna hurt a bit 😉

A few years ago a guy worked for me. Then a few weeks ago he asked if he could interview me. It took me a while to feel comfortable with what he wanted to do, but I finally said yes and he did his interview 3 weeks ago just before I got sick…

The product of the interview is a video. The visual portion is random images that don’t really have much to do with anything. I like the end result – it’s a good video (IMHO)… Take a look/listen…

In case your wondering that’s not quite my voice. It’s been altered and sounds much more femmy than I really sound. At first he tried to butch up my voice but since I already have a semi-masculine sounding voice there wasn’t much he could do in that direction without making me sound like Deep Throat. So femmy it is… 😉

Tell me what you think of it…

Load 2012-44

I had one of those nights tonight that would be funny if so much didn’t go wrong…

First I had this hot young bottom who’s been texting me a fair amount wanting to get fucked. I really want to fuck him, but he lives in Brooklyn or Queens or something and it’s not terribly convenient to hookup. So today he was running errands in Manhattan so he thought he’d come over. But then he told me he hadn’t cleaned out… I really didn’t feel like dealing with that, so I said “another time”.

So I get online and there’s a guy on the Lower East Side that wants to come over. He just had to do a little cleaning out and he said he’ll be right over. Last I heard from him he was going to do a little more cleaning and then leave. I didn’t know if he actually left or not. I didn’t know if he’d show up, so I waited. After an hour and 15 min I give up.

Meanwhile there’s this hot black guy who wants to come over and isn’t far away. Great. But then as we’re confirming he also goes missing.

Then there’s this 23 year old neg guy who’s a bit new to barebacking who wants to come over. But he wants to clean out here – he doesn’t have any equipment to clean out. I’m a top, I’m not exactly set up for it either so I just blow him off…

Then there’s a guy in a hotel on Times Square who’s in from San Francisco who goes round and round. He sorta says he could host or travel, but then he starts saying “well, I just got in and have an early flight tomorrow”. What’s that have to do with anything other than you don’t want a long hookup. Bottom line he didn’t have equipment to clean out either. Again? Seriously? I was even willing to deal with that and let him clean out here. Then he said he wanted assurances he’d get fucked rough and I’d cum multiple times. That just was too much (I almost never cum more than once, and I’ll fuck however I feel like it) so I blew him off.

There were actually a few more in there. Guys who on a normal day I would have hooked up with, but as the saga was going on and on I just didn’t have the patience for.

So I tell myself I’ll hookup with the guy on the Upper West Side who I’ve been fucking for years now. He’s a dependable bottom. Not a whole lot of excitement – I’d rather try out new hole, but at this point dependable was looking good. He said he had three loads in him. Then on the way over he said the first top probably didn’t cum – still 2 loads should be better than none.

I get over there and I’m rimming him and he goes to push out some of the cum in his ass and it’s dirty and I get some in my mouth. YUCK! I run to the bathroom and wash my mouth out as best I could. Luckily I didn’t swallow.

I go back and barely get hard enough to fuck him (I wasn’t rimming him again). But then my dick gets hard and I’m able to fuck. But I can smell a little shit. That’s usually a huge turn off, but I just want to cum so I push through it. It was far from my best fuck – sorta a lame fuck actually. But I do manage to cum and give him a proper 3rd load.

The chemistry was all off, so I wound up washing off my dick, getting dressed and leaving pretty quickly.

It actually gets worse… As I was riding the subway home I realize my shirt is inside out. It was one of those shirts where they print the inside and it bleeds through to the outside to give it a faded look. So I had this bold lettering that was completely backwards. I didn’t want to be seen by someone I knew with my shirt on backwards, so when we got to 125 I waited as people left the platform and then when there weren’t too many people around I took off my shirt and put it on properly.

What a miserable evening… Oh well… Win some, lose some, right? I mean it’s just a law of averages. If you’re not having bad sex you probably aren’t having good sex either. Still, I could do without nights like tonight.