Load 2012-23

Saturday morning I woke up a bit hung over. I got on BBRT to check emails – I wasn’t really looking to fuck, but this guy contacted me and wanted my load. He’d been so persistent in the past about asking me to hookup, I thought “what the hell…” I warned him that I was a bit hung over and might not be at my best – but he was game for it anyway. What I didn’t ell him was that I hadn’t taken a Cialis in a week and my dick was only sorta half into it…

It was pretty early in the morning and my bf hadn’t woken up yet. At one point he rolled over and looked like he might be half awake so I asked if he minded if I went and hooked up. He grunted – I didn’t quite know what that meant but took it as a ‘no problem’.

As I was leaving I couldn’t find my usual cock ring. Given that my dick was being temperamental, I was a little worried I needed something. I saw a little piece of rawhide string and took that instead.

I got to his place – it seemed like an old hotel that had been converted to small apartments. The “luxury apartments” sign outside was a bit optimistic – it was perfectly nice, but “luxury” was seriously stretching it…

He greeted me at the door in a leather vest and jockstrap. Actually neither was leather – they were that neoprene that looks like leather… He didn’t quite look like his pictures – but it wasn’t an issue – he was still good looking and fuckable. Pretty quickly after I arrived I noticed he was a bit chatty – but more on that later…

I started stripping down and he leaned over his desk to pick some music off his computer. I spread his ass cheeks and started rimming him. He asked me how I wanted him before I came over and my one request was “squeaky clean”, yet his ass was a bit musky. It didn’t seem unclean – I just didn’t know when the last time was that he douched. As a result I didn’t spend too long down there or go too deeply. Actually, my dick was surprisingly cooperative. The rawhide seemed to be working better than my regular leather cockring… It was almost working too well – it felt like it might be a little too tight – my dick felt veiny…  I didn’t change anything though – I figured I wasn’t going to complain – my dick was hard…

I stood up and he went to suck my dick but my PA was in and it’s fairly big. He said he was OK with getting fucked with a PA, but didn’t want to suck dick with it – I understood that (metal against teeth is no fun). So I asked for some lube, and when he pointed to something I didn’t have my glasses on and picked the wrong bottle at first, but got the right bottle on 2nd try. I lubed up and shoved in.

He was on his back and we were fucking in the missionary position. That was fine with me – I feel like I’ve gotten in a bit of a rut when the face-down on his belly routine I’ve gotten into. But then he suggested he get on his belly which makes me wonder if he reads the blog…

He rolled over and as usual it didn’t take long for me to cum. I didn’t want to draw it out ’cause for starters it was hot in there (which is odd – ’cause my A/C’s been out and a few days earlier he had said to come over ’cause he had A/C – I mean his A/C was on, but it wasn’t making things cold). And secondly – I didn’t know how long my dick would cooperate.

It had been 4 1/2 days since I’d cum – so he got a pretty good sized load. I then rolled him over and kept my dick in for a while while we laid there. He didn’t seem comfortable with silence so he talked about one thing and then another, and then another… He was a bit of a chatter box… I wasn’t saying much more than “Yeah…”, “Oh really?” “I see…” I heard about his sexual preferences (only likes guys 45+), his ex-boyfriend, a cruise he went on, etc…

Because of the heat I was a bit sweaty, and I hadn’t taken a shower before I came over, so when he offered that I could use his shower I took him up on it so I could rinse off. When I came out he was still just as talkative. I felt a little bad – he was doing so much talking and I was doing so little – I wondered if he thought I didn’t like him or something. Truth was that I was just hung over and not in the mood to talk.

When I came out he had taken off the vest and I could see more of his body. He looked hotter naked than he did with the vest on. Nice proportions to his body – sorta hairy in the right places, etc. Funny part was he was an otter – like a lot of the guys I’ve been fucking lately – not sure what’s up with that.

When I left I noticed my bf had texted me and asked if I wanted to go to Callen-Lorde’s Saturday STD clinic to get checked out. We’re both sorta overdue for HIV tests – I had suggested we do it a few days before. But it was a bit early, he was still waking up and I hadn’t showered and didn’t have any underwear on… So we put it off until next week.

Load 2012-22

Yesterday there was a little window to fuck early in the evening – right after 5… I got on BBRT and there was this guy who looked pretty hot and muscley who was available. It had to be a pump-n-dump since he had to leave his place by 6:30. I left as soon as we confirmed and got down to Chelsea in about 35 minutes.

When I got to his place he wasn’t as good in person as he looked in his pictures, his toenails were painted, and when he opened his mouth his purse sorta fell out. It’s not that he was a flaming queen, but he definitely wasn’t butch. Eh, whatever… It was a pump-n-dump, and even though he wasn’t as hot as his pics, he was still reasonably attractive. Plus, I was there just for his hole…

I’ve been wearing my PA since Saturday, and he wanted me to take it out. No problem… Then he got on the floor and started sucking my cock. Blowjobs just aren’t doing it for me these days and I find it a little embarrassing to get sucked when I’m soft. That, plus the fact that we needed to get things over with quickly… I told him I wanted to rim him.

I should stop and say we were in the living room, not a bedroom… He got on all fours on the ottoman and rimmed him. His hole looked like it had seen some substantial use over the years, but again – perfectly fuckable…

When I got hard I spit on my dick, stood up and slid in. Getting him on his belly just wasn’t an option since we weren’t fucking on a bed. I’ve tried to get guys on their bellies on couches before and it never works all that well.

So I stand behind him and fuck him doggy style. It’s been a little while since I’ve nutted that way. Given the time constraints and the position, I was a little worried I wouldn’t be able to cum, but pretty soon I started to get the sensations that told me I would blow my load. Problem was the sensations kept going an going and I didn’t actually feel the load building up in my balls. It was actually a bit weird – I felt like I’d cum any second, but it just went on and on…

It didn’t help that he kept moving a bit. Just as I would feel like I was about to cum he’d move a little and I’d have to work to get just the right sensation again. His hole was pretty loose, but at one point he tried to grip my dick a bit and that did help…

Eventually I did cum. I pulled out my dick after I finished and there was shit on it. HATE that, but on the plus side at least it didn’t stop me from cumming. When I realize a bottom in dirty in the middle of sex that usually kills it for me.

I went to the bathroom and cleaned off my dick, and as I was getting dressed he started asking about my old neighborhood. I told him how to get to the cruisey park, etc. Those questions and his California phone number makes me think he was a tourist.

The moral of the story is a lot of guys might just write him off for being an aging, muscle queen with a loose hole, but actually there’s nothing wrong with that… He had a good hole on him that got me off – even in a position I don’t usually cum in.

2012-21

Saturday morning I was supposed to hook up with this pain pig off Recon. He had been really pushy to have a whipping session with me the week before and mildly upset when I canceled. So we scheduled it in advance for a week later. He somewhat sensibly wanted it early in the weekend so he had time to recover before Monday morning. We chatted the night before online and then I texted him in the morning to confirm and he said he was still coming so I gave him my address. It’s been a while since I had done a proper S/M session and I had to get set up. That took a while and got me all sweaty and finally the time came and I sat down and waited for him to show up. And I waited and waited. Finally after 30 minutes I realized I’d been stood up. I text him and message him on Recon and give up. [He never did get in contact with me and explain himself.]

At that point I needed to find a hole. One guy nearby indicated he was up for it, but needed to clean out. I waited 45 minutes and finally gave up on him too (it only takes 30 min to clean out). While I had been waiting for that guy another guy had contacted me who had been messaging me a fair amount lately. When I gave up on the other guy I contacted him and asked if he was cleaned out and ready to go. He was, but then he asked if I could help with subway fare. I told him no problem.

Thinking about it, every time I take the subway to a trick’s place it’s $2.25 each way – so fucks cost me (or the trick) $4.50. I see that as pretty cost effective, though of course a trick I that’s within walking distance is better yet… So as I got ready for the guy to come over I took out a $5 bill and threw it on the bed.

He arrives and he’s pretty cute – late 20s, skinny, a bit hairy – basically a cute little otter (though not over the top hairy). We stripped down – he had underwear over a jockstrap, so I had him keep the jockstrap on.

Honestly, I’m a little hazy on the details – I don’t think he sucked my cock first, but he might have. Anyway, I tell him to get on the bed on all fours and I start eating out his hole. Given that I had taken a Cialis that morning it didn’t take long to get hard – I was sporting a hardon most of the morning… As I lube my dick and start to shove in I’m thinking about how prevalent completely anonymous sex is these days. I mean yet again here’s a bottom bending over and taking my dick with zero conversation. Maybe it’s just me, but it feels like more and more bottoms will take raw dick and loads literally with no questions asked.

Given how hard and thick I was I knew it wouldn’t take long to cum. He felt good. I put his legs together and rode him like a log. It was one of my favorite ways to fuck back when I was just starting out many moons ago… It’s especially hot with thin guys…

As I said, it didn’t take long to cum and since I had just taken a pill I stayed hard after cumming so I fucked him a little bit afterwards and then rolled him over on his side and kept pumping in and out of his ass. When I do that I tend to lightly touch the bottom – sorta caressing him… Bottoms who like intimacy love it, but this guy seemed uncertain how to respond. He tried to reciprocate, but it was awkward…

We talked a bit after I got soft and my dick popped out of his ass. Nice guy – seems like he’s still finding himself, which is completely OK at his age…

As he left, he grabbed the $5 bill… It did feel a bit like he was a cheap hooker, but nothing wrong with that 🙂

Does anyone else find it somewhat ironic that Erik Rhodes died while being a “safe sex” porn star? I mean some of the companies he worked for refuse to hire guys who do bareback porn, and if they do let their models do bareback, they’re definitely not OK with them having worked for Treasure Island. Why? Because they say bareback porn is dangerous. Yet, when was the last time you heard of a bareback porn star dying in the prime of his life?

[OK, there was Chad Noel, but despite everything that was said about him dying of an AIDS-related illness, others are saying he died of a drug overdose… Which brings me back to Erik Rhodes…]

The rabidly safe sex porn companies promote unrealistic body images that are harmful to their performers and to their customers. Simply put you can’t get a body like Erik’s without injecting anabolic steroids and taking human growth hormone. Those fuck with your body like crazy. All sorts of bad things happen.

Yet you can’t work at many of the rabidly anti-bareback porn companies unless you’re doing steroids and/or HGH – you just won’t be big enough to get on their roster. It’s not that they force you to do steroids, but they won’t hire anyone who isn’t huge and you can’t get huge unless you do steroids. So they’re essentially insisting the guys who work for them do things that are dangerous to their health in order to get hired, and yet they’re anti-bareback because… “it’s dangerous”. I don’t get it.

[Then there’s the issue about how many of the people behind those policies bareback complete strangers in their personal lives. I’ve even heard stories about some of them being gift givers… But this post isn’t about that…]

And their customers, many of whom are reasonably sexy and hot, start to think they’re not hot enough – that no one will will want to have sex with them because they’re not as hot, big or muscular as someone like Erik Rhodes. So they either pine away with unfulfilling sex lives, or they go out and start doing steroids and HGH and fuck up their bodies in the process…

And then there’s the issue of putting needles and syringes in the hands of someone like Erik. His personal blog has gone private, but a few days ago while it was still public I read this blog post from 4 years ago where he talks about all the drugs he did over gay pride weekend. Every day that weekend he got so high he’d forget stuff, or pass out and then throw up over people, etc. He was a total mess. Reading it and realizing it was from 4 years ago I was amazed he made it this long.

I’ll admit that in some ways bareback porn is like pretty muscle boy porn – it promotes something that can be damaging to your health. But there’s a difference. Barebacking is normal and natural – god created us gay and driven to have butt sex – barebacking is just a natural expression of that desire – it the gay version of what has made humans the dominant species on the planet. In contrast chemically induced bodybuilding is completely unnatural. There’s no biological drive to take steroids or HGH – that’s completely driven by a culture that values really big muscle. We can’t change biology, but we can change culture.

I’m sick and tired of producers of pretty boy muscle porn looking down on barebackers – trying to stigmatize us and get people to believe we’re the ones with a problem. Dudes… You’re in a glass house throwing stones. You’re the ones with performers dying in the primes of their lives. Get over yourselves and deal with your problems before trying to fix things you think are problems with us.

That said, people will do steroids and HGH whether we want them to or not. They’ll do hardcore drugs whether we want them to or not. And they’ll bareback whether safe sex porn producers want them to or not. To quote Rodney King – “Can’t we all just get along”? It’s time to end the bans against porn stars who do bareback porn. Just let people be who they are and do what they want (to a point).

At the same I do want to say that drugs can be incredibly destructive. Unless you want to end up like Erik Rhodes, don’t ever let drugs control you – and be careful not to make excuses and pretend they’re not controlling you when they are. If your drug use causes problems at work, then they’re controlling you. If drugs cause problems with your non-druggie friends, then they’re controlling you. If you’re starting to see warning signs, get the help you need… It’s readily available if you look for it…

In the end, let’s be realistic… There are many things which can be dangerous, and while barebacking can be one of them, it’s far from being the biggest problem in our community. Hell, smoking kills far more gay guys than HIV…

Load: 2012-20

There’s a guy I’ve emailed back and forth with a few times and a few days ago we finally hooked up. I was in one of those moods where I was horny, but sorta not horny. I knew going into it that the hookup could be problematic – not because of him, but because of me. It’s just a sexual energy thing – I had a latent sorta sexual energy going – not a full hardon sort of energy…

He was in an awkward place to get to – sorta close, but too far too walk, not easy to get to by subway, etc. Finally I figured out I could take a bus from here to there and that worked really well – I had to run a little to get the bus, but it got me over there really quickly, which was good, ’cause it was raining a bit…

I get there and he answers the door in just a towel. He’s this thin, sorta hairy, but not too hairy guy… Pretty much the textbook definition of an otter (though most otters have a little more hair on them). We go into his bedroom and he picks some porn to watch while I take off my clothes. We play around with each other a little bit, and (like usual lately) I feel like I need to rim him to get completely hard. He had the A/C on, but it didn’t seem to be cooling much of anything. I was worried with the heat I’d overheat and be useless. That combined with where my head was at… Well, you get the picture…

So I manage to get him on all fours and I start eating out his ass. I get hard pretty quickly which puts me back in the game. When I get up I really want to fuck, but he’s not ready for that yet. OK… He has me lay down and he starts going over my body. I’m a bit sweaty, which he really likes. He starts licking the sweat off my body. I raise my arm and there’s a bit of musky pit smell. I’ve always liked the smell of my pits and so did he… He sniffed them and licked them, and then went back to licking sweat off other parts of my body…

Finally he gets to my dick – which he sucks pretty well. I’m just laying there being fairly passive. There are a few guys who have gotten me completely hard while being laid back and passive – when it works it usually qualifies as some of the best sex of my life, but this guy was good – but not that good. My dick starts going to half mast. Ugh…

I finally rim him a bit more, but this time my dick isn’t responding so well (the heat’s not helping), but I get hard enough to fuck him so I push in. He wants to be fucked missionary style, but I gradually get him rolled over onto his side and then onto his belly. But by that time I’m just not quite hard enough for a good fuck. I mean, I fuck him, but it was far from my best performance and I never really feel like I’m even close to cumming.

After a while I sorta just give up. I’m a sweaty mess by this point. I’m afraid if I roll over onto his bed he’ll have a huge wet spot when I get up. But at the same time he liked me sweaty, so (at his suggestion) I lay on top of him, which he liked. We took it slow for a while and when I cooled down a little I roll over. I still managed to make a sweaty wet spot on the bed, but it wasn’t quite as bad as it would have been 5 minutes earlier.

We play with each other for a while and finally I feel like I’ve cooled down a bit, so I went back to rimming his ass. This time my dick responds, and by now he’s gotten the idea that I want to fuck him on his belly. I can tell it’s not his favorite position – too impersonally and anonymous – he likes connected sex (eye contact, etc.), I like anonymous sex, but he goes along with it…

This time it’s FAR better – his hole is massaging my dick just right. I start feeling the sensations that tell me a load will come. He’s just a piece of meat to me in that moment – a hole to fuck. That’s how I like my bottoms… Everything was working at that moment and he got my load…

In the end it was largely a conflict between his desire for connected sex and my desire for anonymous sex. Had he just rolled over on his belly initially he would have gotten my load quickly.

While it didn’t go all that smoothly, he did eventually get my load and all’s well that ends well.

BTW, I’m still doing my “no jacking off, all loads go inside guys’ asses” thing that I started back on the first of May. So far it’s going really well. I’d say it actually really helps me sexually since I don’t waste sexual energy… Though when I work on porn sometimes I feel like I need to blow a load to see it as just work… But I resist the feeling and save the load for a bottom…

Load 2012-18

In my write ups I skipped a fuck that happened early last week. It was pretty simple though… The black guy who I’ve fucked fairly regularly over the past year or two came by for a load. It was a good fuck, but there wasn’t anything all that remarkable – I didn’t call him nigger (like I have in the past), it was just a simple fuck and dump.

He came over, he was a bit freaked out by the fact that we still don’t have blinds on the windows, but he got over it. He got on the bed on all fours, I ate him out and then shoved in. His hole felt good as usual, I came relatively quickly and he got a 3 day load.

One of the issues with him in the past is that he wants to be serviced after I cum while he jacks off. This time it wasn’t so bad – I just held my dick in him and tweaked his nipples while he jacked off. He came pretty quickly (on the towel I had on the bed).

Once we both had cum he decided it was time to leave – short and simple. He mentioned that right after he confirmed with me another guy in the neighborhood had wanted to fuck him. He was going to ask if I wanted to do a 3way, but didn’t – which was good, I wasn’t really in the mood for a 3way. I suspect he went over there after me and got a second load.