This guy came over last night. I’ve fucked him a couple times before. He’s very close to where I live and is a total sub bottom. He even gets into me degrading him and treating him like a piece of meat. I wasn’t 100% horny, so I figured if it didn’t go well at least he didn’t travel far.

He comes over, we head to the bedroom, and just as we get there my real estate broker calls. I answered my phone as the guy was taking off his clothes. While I’m talking to her he gets naked and I get my pants down and I have him suck my dick while I’m talking on the phone. The news wasn’t great – we got an offer turned down and it was as high as we were going to go on that property. So it wasn’t making me think horny thoughts, but I kept him on my dick even though I wasn’t hard.

Once I got off the phone I had to get back in the mood and nothing gets me in the mood faster than rimming a clean hole. So I put him on the bed, put his legs up and started eating him out. Mind you, there’s no real conversation – he’s just a piece of meat to me.

When I’m hard I lube up my dick and stick it in. He says he’s tight and squirms around. We reposition with him on his belly, but his hole is too far from the top of his ass to fuck comfortably. So I put a pillow under his waist and get back to fucking him. It was probably a minute or two later that he says something about slowing down and not cumming. I didn’t hear it clearly and thought he was playing the same “don’t cum in my ass” game he pulled the first time I fucked him. So I kept on fucking him how I wanted.

But then less than a minute later he stops things and says he’s cum. The comment I didn’t fully hear was about him cumming – not me. Problem was he couldn’t keep getting fucked after cumming, so that sorta ended it. I then realized he’d cum all over my pillow, not the towel I had down. Oh well.

Well, I guess it’s good I can fuck the cum out of someone, but I don’t like the fact that I didn’t cum.

Load 2009-27

Well, just got done with a bit of an embarrassing hookup. A really hot bottom came over and before we started he said I’d fucked him before and for the life of me I couldn’t remember him. I did finally remember his story when we got to talking after sex, but it’s taken me a little while to figure out who he was and he was the guy I whipped really hard early this year. I mean I whipped him pretty hard and then forgot who he was. That is pretty awful, but in my defense he was hooded when I hooked up with him last time so I didn’t really have that much “face time” so to speak.

OK, so this time he hits me up on Adam4Adam and his profile says he’s “neg” and into “safe sex only”. That might have also thrown me off – his profile name last time contained “BBBottom”, had pictures of his gaping hole and him in a jockstrap with “SLUT” written on his lower back and other ones of him blindfolded and in a sling – so a VERY different profile than last time. I ask if he’s up for getting fucked raw and he said ‘no problem’. He wasn’t going to be available for a little over an hour so we set up a time for him to come and I hope that he doesn’t flake out on me.

The time sorta came and went and I was wondering if he was actually going to show up. There were other guys online who wanted to come over, but then he called and said he was a few blocks away. He shows up and we head to the bedroom. He mentions at that point that we hooked up before and indicates it was at my old place. As I mentioned for the life of me I didn’t remember him. He takes off his clothes and then he asks what I want him to do. Of course I didn’t put two and two together and had no clue he’d be up for BDSM, and I don’t go in that direction unless I know a bottom wants it. I went to kiss him and he seemed really reluctant. He wasn’t jumping to his knees so I didn’t tell him to suck my dick. Instead I turn him around and he takes the hint and bends over and I start rimming him.

While I’m rimming him I start playing with his dick – which was HUGE. I lightly jack it and it gets pretty hard and it was an easy 11 inches, if not bigger and pretty big at the base with a nice foreskin. If I had been a bottom I would have been in heaven right then… His hole tasted nice and clean. It was a little hairy and his butt was pretty muscular. His body was generally pretty lean. As I was eating out his hole I was wondering how in the hell I had forgotten him – I mean he’s totally my type.

But with a hot ass in front of me that was now well-lubed with spit I wasn’t going to let my embarrassment stop me from fucking him, so I stood up, put a little spit on the head of my dick and shoved in. His hole was wet. He either had other loads in there or he had lubed or it was just naturally that way. One way or the other it felt really wonderful. The sensations like wetness are what the guys with condoms never get to feel… This is a good case of why barebacking is just better sex.

I pushed him face down on the bed and I knew with how great his hole felt that it wouldn’t take me long to cum, but at the same time I wanted it to last, so I took it easy trying to delay my orgasm. It goes without saying I came in his hole not long later.

I wanted to keep fucking him, but my dick was pretty sensitive, so I pulled out and went down and started rimming/felching his cummy ass. Tasted VERY good! He didn’t push any out or anything like that but there was plenty of cum on his ass. Then when that was cleaned up I pushed back in and kept fucking him. That’s one of the things I like about taking pills – I can keep fucking after I cum. I took it pretty easy, but at least he got a longer fuck. Then I rolled over and kept my dick in him and slowly fucked him while we spooned.

He was a little awkward. I think it was a bit vanilla for him and he’s a bit timid when it comes to sex – liking the top to take charge. But we talked a little. He just moved pretty close to me – so hopefully we’ll hookup more in the future. When I asked what he did is when I remembered fucking him – or at least fucking a guy with a similar story.

We wrapped things up after a bit and he was on his way. I sorta wish I had remembered his details – would have been a very different fuck. But at least this time I saw more of his face – it’ll be better next time…

The other issue in all of this is his “neg, safe sex only” billing on Adam4Adam. There’s a reason why I stopped believing what people put for their HIV status. I’m not saying he’s poz, but he’s a clear case of being into a lot more than his profile would suggest – so who knows what’s true and what’s not about him?

Load 2009-26

So a while back I fucked a submissive piss bottom – even videotaped my fucking him a couple times. Anyway, he’s neg and wants to stay neg, but at the same time he’s a submissive bottom who generally lets the tops call the shots. It’s a bit of a Catch-22 – if he’s a good sub bottom he’ll let the tops use him how they want and won’t even ask if they’re poz or neg – but he wants to stay neg. It’s like the two sides of him are in conflict. Anyway, he didn’t like some of the things I said in my write ups in the past and got a bit mad at me. So for the longest time he’d be friendly online, but wouldn’t actually hookup with me.

The other day we’re chatting and he’s telling me how he promised himself not to let me fuck him again. I could tell part of him wanted it, so I tried to reason with him. It took forever to get him to see my point, but finally I said – “sub bottoms are supposed to be more trusting. there were no permanent scars – that’s about all you should be worried about.” And it’s true – nothing bad happened. Finally he let down his guard and he was at my place a half hour later.

He asked if I wanted him to wear anything in particular, I didn’t really care. When he got here he literally reeked of dried piss. I mean there are homeless people who smell better. He headed into the bedroom and started taking off his clothes and I started thinking – there’s no fucking way he’s going to make my bed smell like that. So I had him go into the bathroom. I needed to piss anyway…

So he got naked and got into the tub and I pissed on him. It wasn’t easy – had a bit of a boner and my PA means I piss out of two holes so I don’t have much force when I piss. But he still got soaked half way decently. He was rubbing my piss all over him and the piss got him rock hard.

I’ve always seen him as a bit of a piece of meat – just something to piss on and load up with cum. So I had him get out of the tub and bend over the toilet and I just started fucking his hole. I usually cum with the bottom on his belly, but with all the craziness in my life lately it had been over a month since I’d fucked anyone. The bottom line was I was horny and had no problem getting hard or cumming (zero need for pills).

When I came it went on and on and on… It was like it just wouldn’t stop. He got a HUGE load of cum. When I pulled out he turned around and cleaned off my dick. He was feeling his hole a bit and could tell he got a big load.

At that point I was sorta done with him. He smelled too much to keep him around the apartment much longer, so I had him dress and leave. Total thing was maybe a little over 10 minutes – pretty much a pump-and-dump.

I immediately went and opened all the windows trying to get the smell of stale piss out of the apartment. Even so I smelled it for a few hours afterwards – and he hadn’t even really touched anything… Amazing.

I walked the dogs about 30-40 minutes later and saw him coming from the park near me. He had gone there hoping for more loads, but said he didn’t get any…  Let’s see – taking anonymous loads in parks and wanting to stay neg – yeah, the guy is conflicted, but that angst is part of what makes him interesting…

Another neg, “safe sex only” bottom is on his way over to get fucked raw… Gotta say they’re fun to breed…

There seems to be an upswing in Hep C cases in poz guys in NYC…

Researchers in New York City are reporting their work uncovering a new epidemic of hepatitis C virus (HCV) infection among men-who-have-sex-with-men (MSM) who have HIV infection. These authors have previously reported unusually rapid fibrosis progression due to new HCV in MSM who have HIV infection and now expand on their findings, demonstrating that sexual transmission rather than injection drug use is the route of infection. Treatment is highly successful if started early in the course of infection, however, they report ominous news about liver disease progression. “This epidemic represents a new clinical syndrome for HCV infection that turns much of our knowledge on its ear: a new risk group becoming infected through a previously rare route of transmission resulting in unprecedented progression of liver fibrosis,” (Source)

Previously Hep C was almost always transmitted through shared needles. Now they’re seeing a fair amount of Hep C passed through sexual contact. So detection and early treatment are important. What I don’t understand is why they’re not worried about sexual transmission among neg guys.

So when you go in for your routine tests, make sure you get tested for Hep C – it’s not just for drug addicts anymore. I’ve always heard Hep C can be worse than HIV – so don’t take this lightly.

UPDATE: Another piece of research has been released that says that fisting is one of the primary risk factors for Hep C in men who are already poz. Basically it’s blood, not semen, that’s doing the damage.

I’ve been a little consumed by real estate stuff lately. Looks like we have to be out of our place in 3 weeks (knock wood). We’ve been looking in Harlem for a new place. I’d like to be better connected to subways (especially express trains). Right now I’m on the A train, but I’d like to have more (and better) options…

So, here’s a question for you… If you were hooking up with someone uptown (north of 110th Street) which subway line(s) would you hope the person was on? You can check off more than one.

Please don’t answer if you’re outside NYC or wouldn’t travel uptown for a trick…

Update: So I’m a little surprised the 1 train is doing so well in the poll. I’ve always hated that train – it makes so many stops. The A and the D trains skip the whole Upper West Side and are so much faster – and the A train is best for Hell’s Kitchen and Chelsea (the biggest gay neighborhoods for those of you outside NYC). My target neighborhood for when we move has always been Hamilton Heights / Sugar Hill (145th on the A/B/C/D and 1 trains), but it’s been hard finding a place, so we’ve been looking in Central Harlem as well lately. But I can see that the 2/3 and the B/C will probably result in fewer hookups. So it looks like I should continue to prioritize Hamilton Heights / Sugar Hill in our search, though my hookups aren’t going to be a huge factor in our decision.

Here’s an e-mail I received… I get a lot of questions like these, so I thought I’d share my answer and let others chime in as well…

Hi rawTOP,

I know you’re really busy (I read your blog, huge fan) so I’ll try to keep my fan letter brief. I can tell you’re a really smart guy. You don’t sugar coat your opinions, and you don’t back down from your positions. This makes your writing extremely gratifying and affirming to read. I know I can point my browser to your site, read some hot, mind-blowing posts, blow my load, and be happy for the day.

I guess that this is the problem. Lately, I’ve gotten more and more preoccupied with bb sex (reading about it, thinking about it, beating off to it). I used to think of your blog as a simple “safety valve” for these raw fantasies. But now, more and more, I’m finding myself swayed by your astute and foreceful arguments.

I guess, to get to the point, I’m hoping you’ll give me some guidance in this. I’m 22, just graduated from a really good school (ivy league) and since the job market is so shitty and my degree (liberal arts) is so useless, I’ve been escorting a bit to pay my rent, which has actually been really fun. I’m in a young, uninhibited time, and I’m plagued by hot dreams of going “all the way” as it were, taking raw loads from all cummers (generally, while vers for “professional” reasons, I’m a happy sub bottom when I’m off the clock).

In your extensive experience, do you think I should just go for it already, and maximize my fun while I’m young and carefree? Or do you think there are other factors I need to consider? I’m very curious about your opinion, since I look up to you. Do you have any words of advice?

My response…

You didn’t mention whether you were neg or poz. If you’re poz it’s simple – be a cum dumpster and have fun. There’s actually research out there that poz guys who take loads do better since their body is constantly being asked to defend against new strains of HIV. Fighting the other strains of HIV actually helps the body fight it’s primary strain of HIV and keep viral levels relatively low compared to poz guys who avoid sex or rubber up.

But I’m assuming your neg – hence the angst. Every person is different – there’s no single correct choice. There are guys for whom it’s not a question – always bareback or always with a condom is just 100% natural for them. The fact that you’re even asking the question says something, but like most of us you’re probably in the middle somewhere.

I can’t make that decision for you. All I can do is give you some guidelines… First would be to be realistic. If becoming poz would totally freak you out – don’t bareback. But also don’t pretend there’s no risk or never think about the risk. Be honest with yourself. There are ways to reduce the risk of bareback sex – but never pretend you’ve reduced the risks to zero. And whatever you do, if you become poz – don’t blame someone else. It’s your life – take control of it and own it.

Look at other areas of your life and ask yourself what sort of person you are… Do you take risks just to experience things and have fun or are you more calculated in your risk taking? Pick an approach to sex that’s consistent with who you are on a fundamental level.

These days you’ll probably live a long life even being poz, but it will probably cut short your retirement. If that’s not OK with you, then reduce your risk.